aitah for considerinf leaving my son in the county jail hospital over the weekend instead of paying $9,500.00 in bail?

[u/ShowerElectrical9342]

My son hit a pregnant woman with his vehicle and broke his nose and has stitches on his lip.

He was arrested and is in the county jail hospital. He wouldn't tell me how badly injured the woman is, except that she might lose the baby.

He's a careless, distracted driver who has totalled 2 cars, which his bio dad immediately replaced with even better cars!

But now his bio dad is gone (heart attack) and I don't want to enable this dangerous driving problem.

I'm overwhelmed.

He has had accidents before, and has always been bailed out.

I'm trying to get a regular lawyer because now he says she might lose the baby and sue him.

He's 19.

But no one wants me to take the time to get a regular lawyer instead of this public defender who insists I must send the bail money NOW or my son will be in jail all weekend.

Honestly, I don't know. Maybe that would be good for him. Like a wakeup call.

He didn't mention alcohol, but why else would he he arrested for a car accident?

Help! I have to move fast!

AITAH for even thinking about letting him spend a weekend in jail?

[u/bawtatron2000]

NTA - sounds like he needs a lesson, don't pay $$ for his bio father's mistakes.

[u/STUNTPENlS → u/bawtatron2000]

Let him rot in county lockup.

If the baby dies, in some states, he could be charged with vehicular manslaughter.

[u/PM_ME_YOUR_PUPUSA → u/STUNTPENlS]

He's 19 and still hasn't learned. A weekend might finally make him see reality.

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/PM_ME_YOUR_PUPUSA]

You've never been to county then it's rough for a kid.

[u/madgeystardust → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

I’m sure it’s pretty rough for the pregnant woman right now too.

When will he learn if people are always bailing him out?

[u/whiskey_riverss → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

The woman he hit might lose her baby but yeah I’d hate for him to be uncomfy for the weekend.

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/whiskey_riverss]

Let everyone have their day in court before casting judgment just saying that or don't believe in the court system either way

[u/Fun-Frosting-5673 → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

Username fits!

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/Fun-Frosting-5673]

Lmao I always get that, it's an auto-generated name, if you remember when you signed up it gave you the same option, everyone always gives me shit, when I talk about making good money working hard jobs in the plants lol but you know assumptions make an ass out of you and me lol

[u/Trainer_NoName → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

That’s obviously not one of the auto generated names. It’s normally 1000x more random and numbers used for comedy are black listed

[u/Ok_Wrangler_7940 → u/Trainer_NoName]

Mine is auto generated. I would love to change it, but can’t seem to figure out how to do that. 😩

[u/DearMrsLeading → u/Ok_Wrangler_7940]

It’s too late for you, you can change it in settings but only once and only for 30 days after account creation.

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/Trainer_NoName]

If you can tell me a way to prove it I will, I just don't know how.

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/Trainer_NoName]

"Normally" you said it yourself I can't help it's the first that popped up and the one I picked I don't know what to tell you but it's 100% auto generated sorry, can't help you there. Just don't feel bad a lot of people have said the same thing and you, just like them are wrong it's the first name that popped up and the fist I picked, blame reddit, I guess

[u/AddictiveArtistry → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

No. Let him sit. Bailing him out at this point is continuing enabling him.

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/whiskey_riverss]

Did he hit her hard or was it a fender bender was it even proven in a court of law it's his fault? Has he seen his court day, as someone that had charges dropped the law isn't always right

[u/exessmirror → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

If that's the case he can post bail himself

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/exessmirror]

If he's not making money like I was it's hard, plus someone has to pick up his card and pay it with it although only 950 doesn't seem like he did too much wrong but it's been a long time since I was locked up and wrongly accused so who knows

[u/Common_Scar4611 → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

Only $950? Re read. The bail is $9,500.00. WTF

[u/No-Entrepreneur6040 → u/Common_Scar4611]

Normally, the accused only puts up a %, often 10%, so guessing $950 is pretty reasonable.

FYI, that amount is non refundable so in our 10% scenario, Mom is out that nearly $1,000! I’d leave him there, too! Once he sees a judge he may be released on his own recognizance - or not!

[u/kikivee612 → u/No-Entrepreneur6040]

Unless it’s cash bail. Then he’s gotta put up the whole amount.

[u/Wackadoodle-do → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

Oh, I'm sure it was just a gentle bump...that's why she may lose her baby./s Sheesh

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/Wackadoodle-do]

Hey homeboy I've lost 9 kids I never got to name hold or see be born I don't take it lightly but you can't just assume it was a huge wreck and both cars went up I'm flames, op didn't explain anything that happem and all you reddit warriors who are holier than thou are coming at me for saying it may not have been that bad on a story that is probably just rage bating anyway but go ahead an assume I'm some piece of shit for not judging someone without the facts, and sharing how I feel about a pretty vague post.

[u/dvasop → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

Blah blah blah quit making excuses

[u/XxMarlucaxX → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

He should have learned sooner then.

[u/JustMyThoughtNow → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

Sounds like exactly what he needs

[u/autumn55femme → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

He needs to be there way longer than a weekend.

[u/Trainer_NoName → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

Lolol it’s not that bad. If it’s that rough for some people then those are the ones that really need it

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/Trainer_NoName]

You've never been to a county jail that has over 80 cases pending against the jail itself lol but to each their own but the one I was in wrongfully is under a huge investigation for cruel punishment, deaths that have occurred, corrupt guards, and taking money from the state and not actually spending it on the jail itself

[u/SuperWaluigi77 → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

A 19 year old, who had already wrecked two cars, been in plenty of accidents, crashed again, this time into a pregnant woman, and never had any consequences for any of that. And you're sitting here telling us to be empathetic to that fucking loser?

Auto generated or not. You are obviously fucking dense.

But for the record, 420 happened to be the auto generated number, in the auto generated username that clearly fits you?

Pretty sure we all know it's bullshit and so are you.

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/SuperWaluigi77]

Bro first it's a vague story with little to no facts and you're ready to hang some probably fictional kid over it with little to no evidence other than some vague rage baiting story, if anyone is dense it'd be you and honestly I believe if people what to partake in Marijuana then they should be able to as long as they are an adult I have t since I was a year or two out of high school so no I'm not 420 as you say haven't touched it in about a decade maybe a little longer now that I think about it, but keep going assuming you know everything about someone over an auto generated reddit name lol you reddit people are bizarre, and so wound up, and psycho it's crazy lol

[u/Legitimate-Slice-990 → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

I have been to county and it 100% depends on the county how bad the jail is. I've been to a couple and they where mostly just boring after you get over all the fear mongering the world does about jail.

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/Legitimate-Slice-990]

Yeah I get that the one j was in is under federal investigation with over 80 cases including wrongful deaths hygiene cruel and unusual punishment corruption and wrongfully using state funding so maybe the one I was in was just rough lol

[u/WitchBalls → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

Rikers, huh.

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/WitchBalls]

No, Harris County, made the news and everything

[u/WitchBalls → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

👍

[u/Fun-Frosting-5673 → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

He deserved that and more

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/Fun-Frosting-5673]

Have you ever been locked up wrongly and had charges dropped, have you ever spent just a night in county? If not then you just don't know what you're talking about

[u/Bashfulapplesnapple → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

I've spent the night in a Baltimore city jail. It was one of the worst nights of my life. I hope OP's son lives every bit of the discomfort I experienced. A woman could lose her fucking baby. What the fuck is wrong with you.

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/Bashfulapplesnapple]

City isn't the same as county for starters, and you're ready to give pain to someone based on a very vague rage baiting reddit post without any real facts or evidence, I also take miscarriage very fucking seriously as I have never gotten to hold, name or see 9 children get born because of it so chill on your fucking assumptions

[u/Bashfulapplesnapple → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

Are you kidding? Dude have you ever watched the wire? Like they made a whole fucking TV show about how bad Baltimore city prisons are. Dude, you're fucking straight up stupid.

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/Bashfulapplesnapple]

City jail and prison aren't the same thing, city jail is for misdemeanor crimes if felony charges are brought up they send you to county after a day or so, you either spend up to a year maybe 2-3max in county but if your sentence is any more you then go to state prison are you stupid? Are you basing your knowledge on a fictional TV show?

[u/Bashfulapplesnapple → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

This kid isn't in prison yet either. He's in jail. Like I was. I'm basing my knowledge on my own personal experience. In the fourteen hours I was locked up I had a girl od in front of me and the guards did nothing, and I got my teeth knocked out because I looked like "a college kid". It wasn't a fun fucking time. That was because I hopped the light rail without a ticket. He can suffer his time for endangering people multiple times and ultimately ruining someone's life. I'm sorry that your personal experience is clouding your judgement here. I know the prison system is deeply flawed and fucked up, but some people deserve to be there, full stop.

Edit - we aren't talking about a "miscarriage" (something I've also experienced personally as woman), if she loses the baby that's manslaughter. To call it a miscarriage is hugely trivializing.

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/Bashfulapplesnapple]

I mean it's a rage bait article to begin with, but you think he'd deserve to be locked up for months in a worse jail than you were in even Given your previously bad experience, I know some people need it I'm not saying that I'm just saying with as little evidence as we're given on a vague reddit post I'm just not super quick to feed this guy to the sharks without knowing more, that's just me. Also I really am sorry to hear about that experience being locked up is pretty rough I think every one should have to experience at least 24hrs in a city jail just to really see what it's like it's a pretty crazy and heinous place it's rough that's for sure!

[u/Bashfulapplesnapple → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

You're either a troll or a moron. Peace ✌🏻

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/Bashfulapplesnapple]

I'll never get to hold, never got to name, or see 9 babies born due to miscarriage so I know all to well as well sorry for your loss that is some of the hardest things to ever go tbrough in this world and i will die on that hill, but the charge would be manslaughter you're right but the woman would have miscarried for it to be come manslaughter.

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/Bashfulapplesnapple]

It's obvious you don't really know what you're talking about, I'm not saying your city jail wasn't horrible but by that standard your county would be worse and your state prisons would be worse than that, unless you're meaning you went to county instead of city or unless Baltimore had a completely different jailing system than any other state

[u/Bashfulapplesnapple → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

So what? So fucking what if he has a hard time in "county" or whatever the fuck you're splitting hairs over. He deserves to be there. He didn't do this once. It's his third time and you think it's some grand conspiracy? You're absolutely mental.

[u/dollywooddude → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

How was he locked up wrongly? He won’t even say how badly hurt the woman is. He’s in the jail hospital. He’s totalled two cars. Let him stay there and deal with the consequences of his dangerous actions.

[u/HighPriestess__55 → u/dollywooddude]

If he's in the jail hospital, he hasn't been told more about her condition.

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/dollywooddude]

I mean I guess but I guess you've never made mistakes as a young kid so you're willing to crucify someone before you know all the facts

[u/will822 → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

The first time is a mistake. Second and third, not so much. Sorry, but you're as big a tool as the OP's son.

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/will822]

I mean it was my cousin douche bag, and it was within 3 years thanks for making assumptions though, you're definitely holier than thou

[u/will822 → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

And that changes your comments on the OP's son how? You're still a tool but have a nice day 🤡.

[u/SuperWaluigi77 → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

He's fucking 19. Time to grow up. Actions have consequences, some of those consequences can include jail when you fuck up.

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/SuperWaluigi77]

Yeah but city is different than county by light years, they hold rapists, murderers, gang bangers before they get shipped to prison I'm just not ready to say this kid deserves to go through all that while also waiting on a court Date based on a very low info vague reddit post but I guess hang them now and investigate after the fact, idk seems like rage bate to me just a lot doesn't make since but I guess I'm just alone in thinking we need more facts before we judge

[u/BrobaFett115 → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

Well no I’ve never got a pregnant lady and possibly killed her child

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/BrobaFett115]

I mean do you even know allbthe facts? Was it a fender bender? Roll over? Was she a pedestrian? A passenger? I just don't feel like we should crucify stone over a vague story by op but obviously it's shoot now ask questions later with the lot of you

[u/BlueFlameCanon → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

I made plenty of mistakes. None of them involved killing a baby.

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/BlueFlameCanon]

Is the baby dead? Did the woman have a miscarriage do you even know if she was in a car or pedestrian there are a thousand things you're just making assumptions of without even considering the multiple possibilities that could have happened, ive lost kids of my own so I don't take it lightly but I also don't cast judgment without at least getting more facts

[u/dollywooddude → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

After three crashes it’s not a mistake it’s a pattern! He doesn’t give a fuck. He didn’t learn his lesson. He should be jailed to learn that his actions have consequences

[u/SuperWaluigi77 → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

The fuck is wrong with you? What makes you think he was locked up wrongly? Should we just throw this fucking loser a parade because you had a rough time in lockup? Nobody gives a shit about the county jail you were in or how many backlogged cases it had.

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/SuperWaluigi77]

I mean I got paid by the state for my time, since there was no evidence for why I should have been arrested in the first place and never had anything on my record because of it, I'm not saying praise this guy but don't go making assumptions based on a vague rage baiting reddit post but I guess we should just shoot first ask questions later huh? I was just tryingbto give insight to people that wouldn't other wise get what they are wishing on probably a fictional kid in probably a fictional story from op but I guess that's just too much to grasp for some people, lol

[u/strangemusicsince04 → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

Varies

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/strangemusicsince04]

Yeah I'd say that's true but definitely sitting in county is rough on top of if you get your case thrown out for lack of evidence like myself it's just rough especially for a young kid, I'm not saying he doesn't deserve it I'm just saying I don't have enough facts to make assumptions, like a lot of these people are. I always walk on egg shells and try to get where the other person is coming from before just trying to crucify a kid when I know I made mistakes as young kid as well

[u/Rindsay515 → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

🤦🏼‍♀️He’s 19 and on his third car already because he totaled the first 2…this wasn’t a “mistake”, it’s a pattern.

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/Rindsay515]

I can see what you're saying but we don't even know 25% of the facts but everyone is immediately just trying to give this kid the death penalty, op didn't give hardly any info but everyone is coming up with their own assumptions like they were eye witnesses.

[u/Rindsay515 → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

No one is coming up with crazy assumptions, we’re going off his own mother’s account of his history so far after only 3 years of having a license. He’s been arrested for his recklessness before and continues driving selfishly because he’s used to being bailed out of jail and provided with a new car. I went to school with plenty of car-obsessed teenagers but none of them totaled 2 new cars before 19. The earlier you nip a bad habit in the bud, the better. This kid is now comfortable driving in ways that put himself and others in far more danger than what’s typically present on the road. The best thing she can do to save her son’s life, physically and/or mentally (meaning killing himself while driving or killing others and having to live with that), is to let him finally face consequences. If he wants to act like a grown man, this is what happens when grown men harm people. They don’t have mommies bail them out and buy them new cars

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/Rindsay515]

I see what you're saying, but I just don't getbthe whole arrested part, it just doesn't make since to me and I'm really thinking this is a fake rage baiting story, I justbdont get why op wouldn't have put up more facts and I get I'm in the minority for thinking there should be more evidence before we just all assume the kid deserves it, for all we know it could have been a complete mistake this time idk I'm just starting to think bei.g compassionate amd wanting to see more facts before casting judgment is just not the norm Anymore especially after all the hate I've gotten for sharing my own thoughts and experiences lol

[u/Rindsay515 → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

She stated that she was in a massive rush because there was a time limit to post bail before having to wait to see the judge on Monday so I get why she just basically gave us the relevant bullet points with his history and the current situation as far as she knows. I think she was sincerely struggling with what to do because her maternal instinct is to protect him, not leave him to the wolves. So she may have even downplayed the situation to make it sound less severe than it really is because of her guilt, despite wanting honest advice. He’s got a broken nose and needed stitches in his lip so I’m guessing he rear-ended her or maybe t-boned her in an intersection pretty hard. And it’s not just her, it’s two lives he put in the hospital today- hers and her unborn child’s. Whatever he did, it was wrong enough to get him arrested, not just a ticket. Even if the baby ends up being okay, that woman is, and will be for a long time, so incredibly shaken up.

I am a very compassionate person but in situations like these, my compassion lies with the actual victims. If he was going through something hard in his life currently and not paying full attention and made a horrible mistake in a moment of distraction, I’d feel terrible for all involved. And he would feel terrible. But all he’s concerned about is getting his mom to hand over 10 grand so he doesn’t have to be uncomfortable over the weekend. You also have to assume he’s expecting another replacement car because that’s just what always happened in the past. Crash one, upgrade to a better one. I honestly think you should consider that your abnormally horrible experience with the corrupt cops and dehumanizing conditions going on with your local law enforcement/jail is causing a bias on your end as well. Not every person who is arrested has a perfectly good explanation for why they ended up harming someone and not every jail is a toxic health hazard. I am truly, extremely sorry for what happened to you and I think you’d make a great advocate for people who really do end up in unjust and inhumane situations like that but most cops don’t arrest people, especially teenagers, at crash sites without knowing exactly what happened or of course if the person was intoxicated.

Either way, it will be interesting to (hopefully) get an update from the mom this weekend with more detailed info on what happened and what decision she ended up making.

[u/AddictiveArtistry → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

It's rough for everyone. I was 18, did some dumb shit and my parents wisely let me sit in there for the night. Guess what? I never went back.