I, 33F, met my husband during university. A mutual friend of ours set us up, and we hit it off instantly. My husband made it immediately clear that he wanted to foster/adopt children in the future and that if I wasn’t okay with it, I would be gone. For context, my husband was adopted when he was 7 and wanted to do the same for others. I also made it clear that I wanted biological children as well, which he was okay with. We ended up married after two years of dating, and both completed our degrees. We currently have two daughters, Rosie5(bio) and Julia7(adopted). We started fostering when my bio daughter was a newborn and adopted Julia around year ago. Since then, we stopped fostering and chose to focus on our family. However, I’ve noticed my husband clearly favors Julia over Rosie. He takes her out for bonding time but either leaves my daughter or drops her off somewhere else. He doesn’t tuck Rosie into bed anymore, he doesn’t make an effort to go to her events, and he practically ignores her when she’s at home, unless it’s to do something for him like chores. I’ve brought this up constantly to him and I’m at my breaking point. Rosie and Julia are both smart, beautiful, joyous girls. Rosie is both in ballet and gymnastics, highly advanced for her grade level, but has a hard time making friends. Julia has started cheerleading, makes lots of friends, but she does struggle a bit in school, which my husband uses as an excuse to not pay attention to Rosie. I’m currently three months pregnant with our third child, and my husbands reaction to finding out was “when can we start fostering again?” Two weeks ago, my daughter asked me “why doesn’t daddy love me anymore” and that was when I knew the problem wouldn’t be fixed unless I made a drastic move. I contacted a divorce lawyer and he said nearly everything would be in my favor. We have a prenuptial agreement that allows us to keep nearly everything separate. The house is in my name, we have two separate bank accounts and one joint account, which would be split, I would not be required to pay alimony, and keep one of our cars. Considering I make a substantial amount more than my husband, (250k a year while he makes around 55k) I would be able to continue our lifestyle while he wouldn’t. It also would like prevent him from adopting more children in the future. The situation is ideal for me, besides paying child support, assuming my husband would even be able to support our kids with 50/50 custody. I have no intention of keeping our daughters from him. After speaking with my lawyer I gave my husband an ultimatum, treat both our children equal or I would be filing for divorce. He was enraged after this, screaming about how I’m a b*tch for trying to ruin his life goals and saying how I don’t understand what it’s like for children who experienced the foster care system. That our daughter (Rosie) was selfish and she needed to understand why Julia needed more attention than she did. My girls ended up waking up from the noise and came downstairs crying. At this point I was both trying to calm my husband down and comfort my girls all at once. Finally, my husband stopped yelling and I could put the girls back to bed. But I have to admit, I’ve started to resent Julia. I know very well it’s not her fault and I don’t let that affect how I treat my girls, but I sometimes find myself laying awake at night wondering how it would be if we just didn’t have her. I always imagine myself with a toddler and our last one on the way, my husband loving all our kids, being so kind the way he used to. Again, I do not blame Julia whatsoever and I’m very ashamed of these thoughts. However I’m afraid if something happens again I’ll snap and I don’t want to shout at my daughters or husband. I have both girls in therapy already (Julia needs it because of her past, and we had Rosie go when started fostering.) Any advice is appreciated, as well as criticism. I’m also willing to answer any questions. So AITA?

Also- these are fake names for my daughter’s privacy as well as a throwaway account.

My wife revenge cheated on me and she got pregnant, I am snipped. So I asked her what happened, and she fessed up that she was angry at my cheating and did it herself. She said it was awful and that dude took the condom off midway.

She said she was so shocked that she couldnt say anything to me. We live in a conservative state where abortion is banned, and we both dont believe in abortion as a form of birth control.

I told her that she can travel to other state if she wants to have an abortion, just dont tell me anything about it and I will pretend I never had any discussion regarding it.

She has decided against it, she says she is scared to have an abortion.

I told her that then the solution is a divorce because I am not gonna raise an affair baby with her. She is saying she made a mistake and she will do anything to make up to me.

I just wanna be done with it.

AITAH?

EDIT: I am not religious, I am just not at ease with idea of abortion and I feel that they should be as rare as possible

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1dpz91n/aitah_for_ghosting_my_girlfriend_after_she_nearly/

So the past couple of hours have been insane, honestly. Before the actual update, I just wanted to sort some things out: * I've seen people talking about this post being rage bait or fake. Honestly, I wish it was, but I actually needed to hear some opinions on what happened. * Some people talked about me having anger issues: this is not true at all, I never snapped at her like this for tickling me (let along hitting her or anything like this), but in the rage of the moment, I couldn't keep my mouth shut. I might consider myself to be a calm person, but that doesn't mean I will laugh and giggle through stupid stuff. * The actual crash happened at a speed that could've killed us if I swerved in the wrong direction (I was driving on a country road, and could've frontally hit a car coming from the other direction, as the speed at which the crash happened was around 40mph/65kmph) * The tickling part and childhood trauma: I've mentioned that to my (now) ex-girlfriend around 3 months into our relationship, but as many pointed the obvious, I wasn't dating the sharpest tool in the shed and it took me a while to realize it, so I guess I might be a bit dumb as well lol. * I think I might've misused the term "Ghosting". In my head, telling her to get out of my house was already a clear sign of our relationship status.

Now, to the actual update:

After reading nearly all the comments, I took the decision to send my ex a message where I told her we should meet face-to-face. Some people suggested that I should file for a lawsuit, but my ex is still in uni and her parents can barely afford helping her. She obviously has done an insanely dumb stunt, but I don't want to punish her parents for it. The car is in the process of getting fixed and I can afford it without major financial issues. Still, I took screenshots of her messages in order for me to have some proof in case the situation escalates.

So, we met earlier at a coffee shop. She looked as if she's been crying for a long time, but it didn't change my mind at all. What shocked me was the fact that she leaned in for a kiss when she saw me, as if nothing happened. I stopped her and told her that we need to have a serious conversation. I explained that what happened wasn't because of the car itself, but because of her disrespecting my boundaries and not thinking for a second about what might happen if she did that thing. Besides that, I also felt disrespected by the fact that her best friend came knocking at my door to demand things, despite not having any rights to do so, which led me to ask my ex if she told her best friend the truth or if she lied about the situation.

She said that she only told her friend that we had a small car crash and I'm pissed at her. Hearing that made me feel disappointed as hell, but I did my best to remain calm. I told her to tell the real story to her friends and family, and she raised her voice and told me that I'm accusing her of being a liar, something that led to a 15 minutes discussion about how the crash was solely her fault and how she put our lives at risk.

I asked her if everything's clear to her about our situation and her response was "Yep, 100%, can we go home now?". That honestly shocked me. I told her that there's no way we can be back together and I suggested she should be more careful and considerate with her future partner. Her reaction was all tears, shaking, begging me to reconsider my decision, but I just can't look at her the same. I explained again that for me it wasn't a small mistake she made, it was a full-on stupid decision that shouldn't be done by an adult, as it could've resulted in something deadly.

She just thinks I'm exaggerating and this back and forth argument led to her asking if there's someone else in my life and I'm just using the accident as an excuse. I denied and told her that she's too selfish to even realise that she broke my trust and disrespects me by saying this crap.

I left the coffee shop feeling like I've been talking to a wall, but at least I can't say that I didn't try to have a conversation. An hour ago her mom texted me asking what happened and I told her everything. I said that I don't want any money from them, but the only thing I'm asking is for my ex to keep her distance from me. She apologized for what her daughter did and wished me all the best. As for her friend, from my understanding she just came to my house without talking with my ex on wether she should do it or not, so I guess she just tried to be the main character in this whole story.

Right now I'm preparing for work, but my chest isn't heavy anymore. In case anything will happen in the future, I'll keep everyone updated, but I hope it won't be the case lol.

Thank you for helping me navigate this weird situation and thanks for all the kind messages. Hope everyone stays safe!

Edit: Sorry if this wasn't the drama-filled update some people might've expected, but I came here with the desire to get some perspective on my situation and be as transparent as possible, I never intended to post this story for votes or anything like that.

I have been dating Mark for 2 years now and he moved in with me 4 months ago, with his 19yo daughter Lindy. Mark and I split the bills down the middle, Lindy doesn't contribute, though she has a full time job making $16 an hour. I never had any intentions of making her pay anything but her eating habits are driving me up the wall.

She has a "food routine" for breakfast, lunch and snacks (I'm told she has OCD and it's an OCD thing). She has 6 pieces of toast every morning between 6-8am. 2 with peanut butter, 2 with butter, 2 with jelly. By 10am she makes herself 2 hard boiled eggs because she's "starving". She eats 2 grilled cheese for lunch around 12-12:30. She then eats again at 2 (before leaving for work), where she has 2 packages of ramen noodles. Her snack? She takes spoonfuls of peanut butter straight from the jar several times a day. Dinner she usually eats at work, but when she's home she eats more than me and Mark combined. When she gets home, she has no less than two bowls of cereal - where she fills the milk to the top and then just pours it down the drain after (as in drinks none of the milk and just wastes it). And no, she's not overweight. Id say she's a healthy weight. Maybe 130lbs and she's 5'9" tall.

Now.. I'm going through an entire loaf of bread a day. A big jar of peanut butter doesn't last more than 3 days. I'm buying a carton of eggs every 2 days. I'm lucky to make a gallon of milk last a day. Mark and I hardly ever eat bread, peanut butter or eggs. Maybe once a week at most for sandwiches and eggs is MAYBE once a month. Despite me and Mark both contributing to food, I'm finding that I'm spending nearly $400 extra a month just due to her intake on the items listed above. I told Mark I would no longer be buying these items and either he can or his daughter can. He argued that everything is supposed to be 50/50 (what we agreed on). So I told him that his daughter would be buying it herself then because I'm NOT buying this stuff anymore and if it continues to be a problem than she needs to find elsewhere to live, because she literally throws piss fits if this food isn't stocked in the house. He was pissed (he doesn't think his daughter should have to pay for anything so she has money saved to move out). AITA?

ETA: I think a lot of people are skipping over the part where I told him he either needs to be buying this food for his daughter OR she needs to, that's when he argued that everything was supposed to be 50/50 (hence, he doesn't want to fully contribute to his daughters eating habits and expects me to continue working out the money). I said if they don't start buying it and it becomes an issue for me, she will need to leave. Because when these items are not stocked in the home (and I'm the ONLY one who buys it), she slams doors, she bitches at us for not going grocery shopping, etc. It becomes MY problem, inside my home, my peaceful place. I have zero tolerance for it anymore.

All names are fake.

I (48M) have been dating my girlfriend Kelly (50F) for nearly two years. We are currently on vacation with her son Ryan (23M) and his girlfriend Emily (23F), as well as my sister, BIL, niece, and her boyfriend.

To preface this, I know Ryan very well. I’ve known him for nearly a decade now, I was his coach in high school and we grew very, very close. He is practically a son to me. He’s also been dating Emily since high school.

When we were planning this trip Kelly said that Ryan wasn’t allowed to share a room with Emily. I thought she was joking, but she was not. I know Ryan is sexually active, and I’ve known by word of his mouth since he was a teenager. I said fine, and the technical plans were that Ryan and my niece’s boyfriend would share a room, and my niece and Emily would share a room. Obviously that room arrangement wasn’t going to last.

Everyone was fine with the technical room arrangement, the girls even had a “slumber party” one of the first nights. Ryan picked up that this was just to appease Kelly. I handed him his keys and said “give the second one to whoever” and he immediately gave it to Emily. My niece did the same in giving her spare key to her boyfriend. This is exactly what everyone thought would happen.

Anyway, somehow Ryan had left his wallet in our room last night. Instead of bringing it to him at breakfast or knocking on his door or even shooting him a text, Kelly used the key in it to walk into his room. She saw things she didn’t want to see.

To be fair, they weren’t having sex. What was described to me was that they were both nude, covered up at least on their bottom halves, but they were snuggled up and he was running his fingers on her back. This sounds like how most loving couples are after having sex.

She was in hysterics. She refused to come to breakfast. I told her that was fine but she wasn’t going to make this a big deal on our vacation. Emily very sweetly apologized to me and said she knows how Kelly can be, which frankly made me feel terrible.

When I went to retrieve Kelly from the room she was still in a mood. She expressed to me how upset she was and I told her be thankful all she saw was the snuggling and not the actual act. That made her really upset, and I told her she was overreacting. Ryan is an adult who has been with the same woman for years. She has confided in me before that she doesn’t like Emily, but frankly I’ve never seen her do anything wrong. She’s a bit punky and Ryan is a bit more preppy, but she’s a sweet person who cares deeply for Ryan and vice versa.

She called me every name in the book when I told her she was overreacting. She called him a child and accused me of taking Emily’s side over her. I’m genuinely concerned. I’ve even considered the possibility that she forgot to bring some mood regulating medication because I have never seen her act like this, and I’m being shunned by her for being an asshole. Currently we’re all sitting on the beach while Kelly mopes inside.

ETA: I wanted to add some relevant information that I see asked in the comments. So Ryan and Emily live together and have for I want to say five years. When Kelly brought up them not sharing a room as I was booking it, I thought she was joking and just laughed. It wasn’t until we were checking in and I was passing out keycards that she reminded me of what she said, and at that point, instead of arguing about it in the lobby, I handed people their keys and told them to do whatever they want, I just wanted a drink and some fruit on the beach.

She is in therapy and is aware of her unhealthy attachment to her son. She does take medication(s?) for mood regulation, however I’m not sure if she currently has them.

I think that’s all for now, if I see anything else I will add it. I’m sorry I can’t get to all of the comments; there’s a lot of them, and I’m on vacation!

My mom 42f is really mad at me 16f right now.

My sister 11f is a bedwetter, she wets every night and wears goonites ( pull ups for kids who still wet the bed ) for it. Bedwetting runs in our family, i wet the bed until I was 14 and so did my mom.

Last night my mom came to me and asked if my sister could borrow a pair of my period panties, ( it felt really weird cuz my sister and me don't borrow each others panties ) My mom said she was out of goodnites. Our parents had ordered her a box with 4 packs and it was supposed to have arrived that day but it hadn't for some reason. So she needed to wear a pair of my period panties for her bedwetting that night.

I said no because it's MY underwear and I don't want my sister peeing in it! And I doubt she'd even fit in it.

She said it wasn't a big deal and she promised to wash them the next day. But i kept saying no, I don't want her peeing in my underwear that's just eww.

My mom got really mad and said I was being a bad sister and stormed off.

Then today she yelled at me saying my sister had wet her bed cuz she had no protection. And now they had to wash her sheets because I was a jerk.

They are punishing me by making me go up to the store to buy a package of goodnites for my sister just in case the box doesn't come today, they're gonna give me the money but the punishment is I will have to go in and buy pull ups.

I love my sister very much and feel bad that she wet the bed but just don't feel comfortable with her wearing my underwear.

I don't know what to do now, I didn't want my sister peeing in my underwear and didn't think it was that bad but my mom is really mad and thinks I was being mean.

AITAH?

When my husband (35m) and I (30F) met he insisted that he was not looking for a mother for his children. He said his kids have two parents, and he’d only want someone who can be a positive role model to his kids, who would treat them well. I never wanted children of my own, but I like children, so I agreed.

We dated, got married, and I let them move into the home I own outright. We have been married for the last two years. My husbands ex wife has had two additional children since we got together, and she hasn’t really been a great mother to their shared children. My husband and his ex wife have three children together.

I work a lot, and in my spare time I like to go to the gym or hang out with my friends. My husband has been complaining lately that I don’t watch his kids for him often enough so he can have some free time too. His ex wife has given him almost full custody because she’s too busy with her new babies.

He also wants me to start cooking for the kids and not just myself, and doing their laundry, driving them to school, etc. This is all kind of coming out of left field for me. I’m not allowed to discipline the kids at all, and he made it clear when we got together that I was not to be a mother figure in anyway. I already let them live in my house for free, saving my husband roughly 24k a year that he was paying in rent before. So not only does he want me to provide financially but also do the sucky parts of parenting, with no reward?

We have a strong prenup and I’m honestly considering using that.

I (28F) am in a relationship with my girlfriend, Emily (27F). We’ve been together for five years, and I was ready to take the next step by proposing. Emily's family is very wealthy, and I've always felt a bit out of place around them, but Emily made me feel loved and accepted.

About a month ago, Emily's sister, Rachel (30F), made a pass at me. She cornered me at a family event and kissed me. I immediately pushed her away and told her it was completely inappropriate. Terrified of causing a rift in the family, I didn't tell Emily right away. Instead, kept planning my perfect proposal, hoping everything would go smoothly. Unfortunately, Rachel had other plans.

During the proposal, Rachel stood up and began spewing lies about how I had been pursuing her and how I was the one who kissed her. Emily looked horrified and, in her shock and confusion, said no to my proposal. I was heartbroken and devastated.

After the proposal disaster, I tried to explain to Emily what had really happened. She was too hurt and confused to listen. A few days later, Rachel's lies started to unravel. Family members came forward with pieces of the truth, and Emily eventually found out that her sister had been lying.

Emily came to me, begging for forgiveness and asking if we could start over. But I was so deeply hurt by the whole situation, especially by the fact that she didn't trust me when it mattered most. I told her I needed time to heal and couldn't be with her right now.

Now, Emily's family is calling me heartless and blaming me for causing a rift. Emily is heartbroken, and I'm left wondering if I'm doing the right thing by refusing to forgive her.

So, Reddit, AITA for not forgiving my girlfriend after her sister ruined our proposal?

Update she's coming over tonight so I'll let you know what happens tommorow thank you for the advice and screw the haters

Update 2

After reading the comments and reflecting on everything, I realized I might have been too quick to judge. Emily and I had a long conversation where I apologized for my part in how things unfolded. I came to understand that Emily was the main victim here, and I was hesitant to speak out earlier due to Rachel's severe mental health issues. I also didn't want to ruin the timing surrounding the proposal. I spoke with Emily's family, and they are actively working towards getting Rachel the help she needs. We're not sure how to move forward with our marriage yet, but we are committed to starting counseling to work through this together. Thank you, everyone, for the support and understanding during this difficult time.

My son hit a pregnant woman with his vehicle and broke his nose and has stitches on his lip.

He was arrested and is in the county jail hospital. He wouldn't tell me how badly injured the woman is, except that she might lose the baby.

He's a careless, distracted driver who has totalled 2 cars, which his bio dad immediately replaced with even better cars!

But now his bio dad is gone (heart attack) and I don't want to enable this dangerous driving problem.

I'm overwhelmed.

He has had accidents before, and has always been bailed out.

I'm trying to get a regular lawyer because now he says she might lose the baby and sue him.

He's 19.

But no one wants me to take the time to get a regular lawyer instead of this public defender who insists I must send the bail money NOW or my son will be in jail all weekend.

Honestly, I don't know. Maybe that would be good for him. Like a wakeup call.

He didn't mention alcohol, but why else would he he arrested for a car accident?

Help! I have to move fast!

AITAH for even thinking about letting him spend a weekend in jail?

I am not sure if am I an AH. Going to provide some background.

I am in my 60s now. I was married to my ex wife, and we had a daughter. Our marriage was going through its ups and downs but I was really close with our daughter. But as our marriage was going through its difficulties, I made a huge mistake I still regret to this day. I started having an affair with my coworker. She was in an violent physically abusive relationship at home. We became friends at work, and things just escalated from there. She got “an out” from me, she got the support she needed to file for divorce from her husband, who is currently in jail now. The affair went nowhere and we called it off shortly after, but I was glad that she got off her abusive relationship and that she was safe. 

But when my ex wife found out about the affair, things expectedly didn’t go well. She lashed out and said a lot of horrible things about me to our daughter, who was 15 at the time. I admitted full fault with the affair, but even after the divorce, I sensed that the distance between me and my daughter was growing, until one day, my daughter said she wasn’t going to speak with me anymore, and she was going to cut me off from her life forever. That was the most painful thing anyone had ever said to me. I begged her to please reconsider. I still remember that day.

But time passed on. My daughter kept her word, and after trying to connect with her for the first year, I gave up. I found out from one of my mutual friends that my ex wife married a great guy. I was happy because I was hoping that would remove the hatred from my ex wife and my ex wife would advise our daughter to at-least rekindle a relationship with me. But that never happened. I moved states a year later. 

I am at peace now, but still have some aching sadness. I have retired. Both my parents have passed away, my brother passed away tragically a couple of years ago. To be honest, I am waiting for my turn. I have only my dog and my sister left.

A couple of hours ago, my daughter called me on my phone. I haven’t spoken to her in 17 years. I instantly recognized her voice, but I didn’t feel anything. No happiness, no sadness, just indifference. She was crying a lot on the call, and we caught up on life. She’s married, and she has a daughter who’s now 12. She apologized for cutting off contact, and she says her mom asked her to reconnect with me, as her mom felt guilty about how everything played out. She said she really wanted me to meet her daughter, and her daughter was constantly asking about granddaddy. But, I wasn’t feeling anything. After we caught up on everything and our life, I told her I don’t care about her or her daughter, and to never contact me again. I then hung up.

Was I the AH?

UPDATE:

Look, I was extremely drunk last night. The words which came out of my mouth weren’t the best, and my comments on my post weren’t great either. Seeing how everyone said I was the AH, I decided to call my daughter again an hour ago. I didn’t really expect her to pick up the call but she picked up immediately. I apologized for last night, and she said there was no need to apologize. I then sent her a link to this Reddit post on messages, and told her I know I was the AH, and thousands said so. She again said I wasn’t the AH. She started crying again. 

I told her she’s free to come to my house anytime the next 4 months, because after that I will be leaving the country with my sister and our dog. Our parents left us a nice farmhouse in their home country, and we will be spending the rest of our lives there. 

I sent her my address on messages, and my daughter said she’d come with her husband and her daughter by end of next week. She asked if she was welcome to stay there for multiple days, and I told her she could stay for however long she wanted, as our house was spacious enough.

So I (15f) has this whole horror obsession, I’m crazy for it I don’t think it would be much of a surprise if I said Halloween is my favourite holiday..

My father (41m) has married my stepmother (38f) let’s call her Abby… now Abby has two sons and a daughter I’m not going to use their real names but give them fake ones.. Zack (16) Evan (18) and Katie (8)

I would like to start off by saying I don’t want to sound like a brat but for the longest time it’s only been me and my dad

So a few moths later Abby and her kids moved in and the boys had to share a room and for some time Katie had her own but my stepmom needed an office room so while I was visiting my grandma and grandpa Katie moved in my room that’s not the issue I don’t mind sharing but the issue I have is I ADORE anything horror so I have a lot of posters,merchandise I even have a Chucky doll, so when I come back from my grandparents my dad and Abby sat me down and said my room needed to change and be more kid friendly obviously I was pissed and stared complaining how it wasn’t fair

And Abby said her child should matter just as me, that’s when my blood was boiling.. so I yelled it was my room first if she didn’t like it she could sleep in the hallway or in the dog bed

My dad got mad and sent me to my room, I get up in the morning and get ready to go to school and when I came back boxes of my posters and funko pops were in boxes with a bunch of other things, only to see Abby talking them down… I get mad and yell at her that’s until my dad comes over and tries to calm me down and tells Abby she should stop but only for her to say ‘my child is scared of all this shit!’

I screamed for ages going back and forth with her until she threw a box and a glass object shattered.. so if she wants to brake my things I’ll brake her kids, I know this is going to abound petty but I grab her kids Barbie and ripped its head off and pulled the legs off and turned to her and say “brake anymore of my things and I smash your laptop up” My dad trying to deescalate the situation said to me go take five outside and from outside I hear my dad abs stepmom yelling at each other

Should I feel bad?

I'm a 17-year-old guy, and my mom has always been a bit overprotective. Recently, she took it to the next level by insisting on putting a surveillance camera in my room "for my safety." I found it super invasive and uncomfortable, but she wouldn't take no for an answer.

So, in an act of defiance, I decided to jerk off right in front of the camera every day for a week. I figured if she wanted to invade my privacy, she'd have to deal with the consequences. I made sure to look directly into the camera, making it clear that I knew it was there and I didn't care.

After a week, my mom came to me, furious. She had finally watched the footage and saw what I'd been doing. She said she was absolutely disgusted, and yelled at me for being disrespectful and said I was acting like a child. I told her that if she wanted to invade my privacy, she had to be prepared for what she might see. She took the camera down immediately, but now she's giving me the silent treatment and acting like I'm the bad guy.

My dad thinks I went too far, and I think he secretly finds it funny, but he also agrees that having a camera in my room was too much. My sister won’t even talk to me anymore after my mom told her what I had done, but my friends think it's hilarious and say my mom got what she deserved. I'm not sure how to feel. AITA?

I (29M) have been married to my wife (27F) for 4 years, and we have been together for six years. She had a son (7M) in a previous relationship, which ended badly. He was abusive and she ended up having to move away and get a restraining order. We had her ex’s rights terminated and I adopted him last year. We also have a baby together. Both of our children are mine. I love them equally.

The issue is my family. They refer to the baby as “their real grandchild/nephew/etc.” and I’m really bothered by it. They only show interest in the baby and none in my other son. I can tell my older son is starting to notice.

It all came to a head when my mom said she couldn’t wait to have quality time with her “real grandson”. She offered to watch the baby, but only the baby, and has shown little interest in spending time with my other son to date. My older son loves her and it makes him really sad. I finally told her and the rest of my family that if only one of my children is their “real grandchild” they have no business spending time with either. Am I the asshole?

I, 20F have divorced parents, and my mom 44F started dating my now stepdad, 49M when I was 9. I never liked him, and he would scream at my mom, call me a short bus and all that type of stuff. He mellowed out over time, but around the age of 12-13, he kept having his penis out when I’d go into the living room to watch TV or something. It was not all the time, but it did happen semi regularly. He wasn’t hard or anything, but his penis would be out of the crotch hole in his pants.

After a year of this, I finally broke down and told my Dad, and I stayed with him for awhile while it got resolved. Basically, I was shamed for thinking it was intentional, and he apologized and it went back to normal. Then it happened again, I told my mom, she gets upset and tells me “no one is perfect”, we continue to avoid mentioning it.

This Christmas, I was home watching a movie with my mom, stepdad, his son and his gf. After everyone else went to bed, it was just my stepdad and I, and I planned to go to bed after grabbing a drink. I came back to my stepdad with his pants pulled down and his penis exposed, which he then covered up with a blanket. I called my boyfriend to come pick me up, I left the house and texted my mom. The next day, she apologised to me and said it was again an accident and that he is just very stupid and was scratching his penis, which had been itching recently.

They separated for awhile, and we’ve all been in therapy. It’s been several months and I’m home for the Summer, she seems to be getting back together with him soon but says I never have to see him and she’ll just “live a half life” in terms of holidays and such. She also is upset at me for blaming him, and minimises what has happened, saying his pants weren’t very down at Christmas and that it’s more okay since he tried to cover himself with a blanket. She has told me he has “arrested development” and has “diagnoses now, not that I’d care” including dyslexia and trauma, which she says are the reasons he lacks awareness of his body. I don’t buy that, and know people with dyslexia who aren’t cognitively impaired like that. She also says she is happy on her own, and empowered to make the decision to get back with him or not, stating that she “doesn’t need anyone but can choose to have someone if she wants”.

This situation is very confusing for me, and she keeps saying if they get back together he’ll move back in which will be okay bc I’m an adult and “need to move on with my life anyway”. I am wondering if I’m the AH for not forgiving him, or being upset about the excuses used, especially not changing my opinion based on his dyslexia/trauma. She says I have a short sighted view of the world, and am centering myself in the situation. I’m just upset because I had to see his penis so much, which was traumatising, and even though it was not on purpose that doesn’t change what I experienced.

I (19 female) ghosted my mother (54 female) for refusing to divorce her husband (52 male) when he spied on me in the shower 2 years ago. So they got married when I was 12 and he has been in my life since I was 10. One day(I was 17) my mom and sister left to go somewhere together and his sons my brothers (I have 3 brothers minors and 3 sisters 2 adult one biological ) were at their mom’s house I went to take a shower and I lean back to rinse my hair and I see a black phone case and ik that’s his phone so I scream and he skedaddle to the entrance of my bathroom. He starts yelling I’m sorry I’m sorry while I’m screaming over him get out. He leaves to go to his room and I get dressed and get in my car and leave to my grandmother house and call my mom. She didn’t believe me at first and called him he admitted it to her and she kicked him out. Months go by and I’m expecting some sort of officer to contact me and make a report for him to go to jail. I snoop through her phone and see they are going to therapy going on dates and coming over to the house to have sex. Zero legal action was taken. This started a fight where she told me to go to my dad’s house, I said if she kicks me out I’m not coming back, she yelled fine. When I found this out and was kicked out it was 6 months after he did it. I went to the police explaining what happened and why it took me so long to report it. That starts the legal process and my mother is pissed saying I should have let her handle it this will effect more then me never explaining anything else. A year goes by me and my mom do not talk about it except once Where she explains what she meant by this doesn’t effect just him and me and turns out they are employed together and if he’s fired so is she but she can be a travel nurse or he can sell my mom his part in the hired company but she made no effort. My mom finds out he’s about to be charged by the da calls them and says I do not want to press charges. The da calls me to confirm and I say let me call you back. I call my mother and. She says it’s my choice and I ask if she will divorce him she says no. That starts a fight where I end up ghosting her and the rest of my family (who have made no effort to contact me anyway). So am I in the wrong for ghosting them I do not think so but my family does. (Sorry for any typos)

I have not spoken to my daughter's father in 20 years. I ended the relationship due to physical and emotional abuse (broken ribs, if I disagreed with anything he said he would pin me down and scream at me "Am I right" until I said yes). At one time I had a no contact order. We live in a small town and he is known to tell anyone that he wishes I was dead. He repeats this phrase to his daughter quite often. My daughter has discussed my personal business with him through the years- that I went back to school to become a doctor, that I got my black belt, etc. He rants that I ruined his life and that I will pay for doing so. I have respectfully asked my daughter not to say my name to her father or discuss any aspects of my life with him- yet she refuses to do so. He has not made any overt violent gestures towards me but I have a security system, a Glock and a personal protection German Shepard who pretty much goes everywhere with me. Am I over reacting and am I the ass hole for requesting that my achievements, locations, and other information not be shared with my ex-partner. She says her dad is wounded and is unhappy that he lives in poverty while I have created a good life for myself and he is just venting.

So, my girlfriend (20f) and I (22m) have been together for a little over 10 months now. We haven't had any heated arguments or fights, except for the fact that she keeps tickling me randomly despite the fact that I've repeatedly told her to never do it again because I can act strangely to it (something from my childhood which I won't delve into).

Now to get to the current situation: this week I've had my car returned from a paint job and some major look changes and I was really satisfied with the results, so I took a day off from work and took my girlfriend on a short trip outside the city. We drove to a lake, ate some food and relaxed for a couple of hours until it got pretty dark and we decided to head back home to get some sleep as I had to go to work the next day and she had an exam. On the way home, I started talking about how happy I felt with how the paint job turned out and out of nowhere, she starts tickling me. I pushed her hand away and told her to stop, then she reached for my ribs with both hands and got me swerving off the road.

Thankfully, nobody was hurt (although my car got some deep scratches but that doesn't even matter anymore), as I already slowed down after her first attempt to tickle me. I'll admit that I told her "what the fuck is wrong with you" as soon as we stepped out of the car and she started crying, but I couldn't care less as I felt as if my veins were about to pop.
When we got home, I told her to pack her things and go to her best friend, but she threw a tantrum and begged me to forgive her for "a little mistake".

I didn't say a word, I simply stared in disgust and pointed to her luggage. After her friend picked her up, I tried to go to sleep but my mind was racing, so i barely got any rest. This happened on tuesday, and she's been blowing up my phone ever since, but I haven't answered any calls or texts and just blocked her. This led to her friend coming to my house and telling me to at least hear my girlfriend out, but I've told her to fuck off and leave me alone, which made her tell me that I'm more in love with a car than with my girlfriend.

So, AITAH in this situation? Should I talk to my girlfriend? I already feel like I can't trust her after what happened and that our relationship can't be fixed.

Update: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/55iHa59YgW

Hello everyone, as you know from my last post, I jerked it in front of a surveillance camera my mom put in my room, as a way to really get the message across that I wasn’t going to take that type of treatment.

So today, after I got off from work, I sat down to have a conversation with my mom. Initially, she ignored me and tried to avoid talking about my smooth strokes, but my dad intervened and insisted that we address the situation.

Firstly, I apologized for my actions. While some of you believe I did nothing wrong, I recognize there were better ways to communicate my frustration that didn’t involve tricking my mom into seeing me butt naked with a log in my hand.

However, I emphasized that her treatment towards me has been unfair and unnecessary. At 17, nearing adulthood, I believe I deserve more privacy and trust, not less. My dad supported me, pointing out that approaching the issue with more openness could have avoided this situation altogether.

My mom surprised me by apologizing too, admitting that she feared losing control over me and worried I might "fall from grace" like my older brother, who has gone NC with our family due to his views on Mormonism. She confessed that she had already begun arranging a marriage for me in an attempt to keep me grounded within the church, which has only added to my anxiety.

Sorry that there were no crazy new moments in this update, but I feel like these stories are much better when there is an honest, good ending. It just goes to show how many problems can be fixed with good, honest communication between one another.

Oh and also, I’m going to speak to my sister soon and if anything interesting happens I’ll leave another update.

TLDR: I became the smooth stroke king in front of a camera my mom installed in my room to assert my privacy. After a long conversation, she apologized for her actions, fearing I might stray from our religious community like my older brother.

Original post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/uxUG8BXO2Z

Update the vow renewal ceremony went long so we where behind showing up to receptions. The shuddle showed up just in time to see security stopping my sister (without her husband) & other uninvited guest getting ID.I ask my party to stay back a minute as I didn't want to over whelm the security. Granted to say it turn into a bit of entertainment. She had a couple hundred dollar dress & was trying overwhelmed the security with just the amount of people . The guard had quite a voice & yell loudly tha anyone who is here for dig sister reception is in the wrong place & will not allowed in unless they where on the guest list. A large group of her party just walked away. My big sister starts demanding to speak to the manager & how dare he scare people off. The manager show up alongside more security. My sister puts on her best crying act ever but the manager just say she & her guest has 5 mintues to leave the property or the police will be involved. She storms off screaming about how it was unfair & how much money she wasted on a dress for this night.

The rest of the night was uneventful & was really chill. The staff & security got a very good tip & any left over alchohol or food they wanted. I hope that was the end of that but this morning I get a money request for $400 USD from my sister saying if I don't pay she will sue me. I have a lawyer so this is of no concern to me because she wouldn't have grounds to stand on. I swear she getting worse with time & need some mental help. I'm am limiting contact with her to email & only in regard to my mom's care.

English is not my first language, apologies for any mistakes.

My (30F) friend "Lisa" (34F) is marrying her fiancée "Sophie" (35F) in two months. I've known both of them for several years and I am (or at least was until this whole debacle) quite close with Lisa so I was not surprised that they've invited me to the wedding. However, on the invitation it was noted that it's a "man-free" event, meaning that no men are allowed to be there.

Despite not being a man myself, I felt that it was a weird decision on their part. I'm also on good terms with Lisa's brother (28M), so I texted him to ask if he knows what's up with that whole thing and if at least brides' families are exceptions to the no men rule. Apparently both him and his and Lisa's father are not invited (he doesn't know about Sophie's family but assumes it's the same with them) and he has no idea what prompted the rule, he says that at present it has (imo understandably) turned into a whole family dispute.

I think I wouldn't have gone anyway because not allowing the presence of any men at all just feels weird to me, but especially in light of the information I got from Lisa's brother I called her to say that I will be unfortunately unable to attend. She asked me why and I tried to make up a good excuse, but I'm a shitty liar so after she pressed me for a reason I told her the truth - that I think the no men rule is weird and I don't want to be involved in that. I did not tell her that I contacted her brother, just that I'm not a fan of events segregated by gender.

Lisa has told me that I'm not being a good friend to her because I'm not supportive of her an Sophie wanting their wedding to be fully centered on women. I told her that it would be centered on women anyway, considering that both of the people getting married are women. She hung up and I have not heard from her since, but Sophie has been sending messages saying I have internalized misogyny.

I personally think I behaved reasonably, but Lisa and Sophie evidently disagree, so am I the asshole in this situation?

I’m going to start this off by saying this is a throwaway account since my best friend knows my reddit and this post will be deleted after I receive enough feedback since she is active in this subreddit.

I've known my best friend, "Emily," for over 20 years. We've been through everything together—high school, college, first jobs, breakups—you name it. So, when she got engaged to "Tom" last year, I was thrilled for her. Tom seemed like a great guy: charming, funny, and attentive. Emily seemed genuinely happy for the first time in years.

A few months into their engagement, I started noticing some red flags. Tom was becoming increasingly controlling. He'd get upset if Emily went out with friends without him, and he'd constantly check her phone. Emily brushed it off, saying it was because of his "protective nature." I was concerned but didn't want to interfere too much. I have been in abusive relationships in the past and i knew that interfering could make it worse. As far as i was aware there was no physical abuse happening at the time.

Last weekend, Emily and Tom threw an engagement party at their place. The night started off great, but as the evening progressed, I noticed Tom getting visibly drunk and more aggressive. At one point, I overheard him having a heated argument with Emily in the kitchen. When I walked in, Tom looked shell shocked stormed out, and Emily was left in tears. She insisted it was nothing, just a drunken argument, but I could see marks on her arm that hadn't been there earlier.

I confronted Emily privately, and after some persuasion, she admitted that Tom had hit her and this wasn’t the first time. She begged me not to tell anyone, fearing it would make things worse. I was torn, but I couldn't just stand by and do nothing.

The next day, I went to the police and reported Tom. They took it seriously and started an investigation. When Emily found out, she was furious. She accused me of betraying her trust and potentially ruining her relationship. She hasn't spoken to me since, and some mutual friends are saying I overstepped and should have respected Emily's wishes which took me back. How can they say that after knowing she’s been physically abused?

Now, I'm left questioning if I did the right thing. I couldn't bear the thought of Emily being in danger, but now I've potentially lost my best friend and caused a massive rift in her life.

AITA for reporting my best friend's fiancé to the police?

My fiancé sent a message to people before we knew anyone was pregnant that we don't want babies at our wedding.

All of a sudden my cousin is pregnant with an existing baby and my sister wants to get pregnant.

My sister is mid 30s and wants to have a kid now so it's born before our wedding.

She messaged me the other day saying can you please give me the "courtesy" of having a baby now and bringing it to the wedding.

I called my sister and said let me see if I can make an exception for you. But my fiance was livid. She found it disrespectful and rude that she felt entitled to disrespect our rules by wanting to have a baby before the wedding.

Also my sister said she wants a baby because she feels "stuck".

I told my sister after trying to compromise with my fiance, that she still can't bring her baby to our wedding. My sister obviously didn't react well to this news and went on a tirade berating me saying that "I'm her sister" and "flesh and blood" .

My mum is angry with me and said she would choose my sister over attending my wedding.

A few months earlier was the engagement where my mum made a big deal about going to Cyprus for the engagement saying she didn't want to go so she can then appear unannounced, stealing the spotlight from my gf! Also my sister said I excluded her because I changed the dates even though it was suitable to everyone else and I had to travel for work during that period.

So am I the asshole, have I let my fiance "walk all over me" or am I right to side with her because it's our wedding and our decision and they are making it about themselves and a hypothetical baby??

I had to put my foot down again in my fandom, we have a girl with downs syndrome who is OVERLY CLINGY. I kind of put my hands up and said, "I am out," on a meetup because she would attend and be a whiney drama baby as always.

I told the person who was hosting this was her problem and I am not babysitting. She said she was worried I would drop out because whenever this girl attends its always ME to talk out of a Meltdown and other issues. I get tired of being her mommy replacement, I just told the entire group it's me or her, you can't have both.

I was called an asshole by the group because I got tired of being this person's support consistently. I am tired of being seen as a replacement mommy and I have my own problems to contend with, having a downs girl having a meltdown and announcing her break ups every damn time is tiring. I have told my friends I am done and to please chose who they want to see.

I am fine doing events solo considering I have been doing so for the last several years. I am done being a replacement mommy for a special needs person who can't find a different support group or grow the fuck up! I am not mommy material and I am not as empathic due to being clung to consistently by her and others like her.

I know I sound like an asshole, but why are high functioning learning disabled persons expected to babysit the low functioning learning disabled? It's DEGRADING! I want to do things ALONE! I am tired of being expected to babysit an Low functioning learning disabled! Why is it MY JOB? Can't someone else do it?

My wife has trouble controlling her emotions. To the point where she can go on for weeks acting solely based on how she is feeling. Giving up on our plans just because of how she is feeling at the moment. Most of the time, these are small things such as leaving wet towels on the bathroom floor because she was tired or soaking our nonstick pans in the kitchen sink because she didn't like the smell and was too lazy to wash the dishes or leaving a jar of oily hot sauce over the edge of our dining table because she got a couple of drops on her fingers. She was willing to risk tipping over the sauce all over our carpet and on our clothes because she needed to clean her finger right away. During these mood swings, she cannot process risks and rewards and bases her actions solely on her emotions. I can go on and on, but basically, when my wife gets into this zone, she does nothing according to logic. It's all about her feelings.

These small behaviors were adorable at times when we first met. However, now we have a daughter, and some of these behaviors are affecting our parenting, and have also affected my job. This can go on for weeks, and it happens right around when she is about to or right after having her period. I was at my wit's end, and I have contemplated divorce many times because this drains all my energy and emotions to the point where I can't work or be a parent when I'm around this behavior.

A few months ago, I told my wife we needed to go into counseling, and that we needed to address this with her doctor. Her doctor recommended trying birth control. She has always been reluctant to take birth control, but after I expressed my feelings, she agreed to take it. She took it for two weeks, and I started to see some improvement; however, during this time, we had intercourse, and she was left with major cramping, which I have learned is a common side effect. Since then, she has stopped her birth control and has reverted to having major mood swings. I feel like I'm parenting two children; at times, I feel my wife is more childish than my daughter.

Since my wife has always not wanted to take BC, and after the cramping, I feel like she will act on her emotions and avoid taking it ever again and come up with any reason to not keep taking it. AITH if I ask her to try it again, or else I would need to contemplate separation?

edit:

thank you all for providing some great suggestions. That's exactly why I posted this, trying to get some direction as to what to do. I've already talked to friends and family, and no one has offered any real suggestions. So we will be following up with our doctor, and in fact my wife just found a note from our doctor that suggests she has PMDD.

For those who say IATAH, I don't blame you. I think my major mistake is writing in taking BC as if I know that was do anything good. I didn't take a lot of time to write this and if I were to only read the first couple of paragraphs I can see why you would jump on me for being TAH. I should have known better to post in this thread and not provide more details. I do want to add a bit if you care to read.

First of all we have been together for over 15 years. I do the majority of the cooking and cleaning in the house. I also fix repair and maintain everything in the house and our cars. I am in charge of all of our finances because she doesn't want to do it. I do pick up the towels and wash the dishes at least 4 of the 7 days in a week.

I spend a great deal of thought and time on my wife's well being as well as being a parent to our daughter. However the problem is my wife will be on board with our plans to be a great couple and parent and then all of a sudden abandon everything. She does this by directing all of our attention to her feelings. This drains all of my energy because it is extremely difficult to build a family with someone when they are constantly avoiding their responsibilities. My wife, when she is not in this zone, has always expressed appreciation for what I have done and how long I have been willing to deal with her emotional swings. She is also willing to work on the problems but I feel she is reverting back to these mood swings as I call it so often that I just needed to vent and get some help as to where to go next. So thanks again to those who got what I was trying to express and I will be seeking them going forward.