on a throwaway for obvious reasons. i was raped a few months ago by a man in my life, and it's been awful. my husband has been amazing throughout it all and has definitely eased as much of the pain as he can.

in a strange way, that has made this all worse. i have no idea why or how, but i orgasmed 4 times while being raped. ive never finished back to back like that before. ive felt terrible. like ive been disloyal to the only man ive ever consensually had sex with.

aitah for not telling him? i hate keeping a secret, but not telling him has allowed it to feel less real. plus i can't bear the thought of admitting to him, or myself that those were the most powerful orgasms ive ever had.

thanks in advance

I (23M) am dating a girl named Allie (29F). We’ve been together for about a year and have mostly gotten along great. We live in an apartment together.

The other day I was chilling playing Xbox while my girlfriend was making dinner. As she was cooking I overheard her fart, and I told her it’s gross to fart around the food and to cut it out. She said she couldn’t help it and we got into a bit of a back and forth to the point she told me to just make my own food then.

While anyway that night we were sleeping in bed, I could tell she was still irritated so we didn’t say anything while I feel asleep. Anyway at 3 in the morning she shook me awake and shoved me under the covers and farted for like 3 minutes!!!!!! It was super gross I felt like I was gonna die. I freaked out on her and she told me I deserved it. I told her she was super immature and slept on the couch.

Sorry if this is a gross story. I maybe was out of line but I feel like she was being wicked immature. AITAH?

My mom is engaged to "Brian" he is a nice enough guy and makes her really happy. He is kind of weird though and seems to have sensory issues (idk if there is a diagnosis or a reason, but he is a twin and the sister has them too) He is very picky about cleanliness. He is also kind of a snob. He is a rich finance bro and seems to think a lot of things are beneath him and that makes them "dirty" or he "doesn't like the feeling" I do think there is something legit wrong though. He won't hug his own mom and didn't want to hold his own kids when they were young because of "texture" Honestly not my business though and this man loves my mom.

My wife "Carly' and I are currently working on our issues after a period of separation. During this time she kissed Brian and he slapped her across the face. She should not have kissed him, but he should not have slapped her. It left a hand print and in my mind was completely over the top.

When questioned his issue wasn't even that he had a girlfriend or that it was unwanted sexual touch, but that "her lips were gross" "it felt disgusting" (also note he kisses my mom all the time) Carly was furious and wanted to press charges but was talked out of it. My mom was furious with Carly for kissing him and said she got what she deserved. I was torn as she had no right to kiss him, but he still didn't have to hit her. The real kicker is he implied she is unattractive.

As a result Carly doesn't go around my mom or Brian and I have a strained relationship with him, but I do admit she had no right to touch him and even if we were separated, he was very much engaged to my mother.

Anyway the wedding is in August and Carly is demanding I don't go. She knows she was wrong but says a real man would never go to the wedding to support someone who slapped his wife. I feel i would like to support my mom, and that Carly needs to understand her role in this. I feel like if the genders were reversed everyone would say the slap was fine, but then again they aren't and he is a tall buff guy and he really hurt her.

I 20F picked bear. There's this trend on TikTok where people ask their female friends, partners and family members the hypothetical question: "Would you rather run into a bear or a strange man in the woods?"

My boyfriend (21M) and I were hanging out with some friends, and someone brought up the question. Without hesitating, I said, "I'd choose the bear." Everyone laughed, but my boyfriend seemed taken aback and asked me why. I explained that, in my mind, a bear is more predictable in its behavior than a strange man, and I felt I'd have a better chance of surviving an encounter with an animal that acts on instinct rather than a potentially dangerous person with unpredictable motives. I brought up I grew up in a place with both grizzly and black bears and I know how to react to both of them in order to have a good chance at survival because their behaviours are very predictable. Brown bears prefer live prey and may root around on you if you play dead but will more likely leave you alone, and black bears are scavengers, so being aggressive with them may make them scared, etc. Whereas men, humans in general, but men in this hypothetical, would pose more of a risk, in my opinion. due to unpredictablility

My boyfriend got really quiet after that, and later he told me that my answer made him feel weird and hurt. He said it seemed like I didn't trust men, including him, and it made him feel like I saw him as a potential threat. I tried to explain that it wasn't about him specifically but more about general safety and statistics, but he was still upset.

He broke up with me over text and said because he felt I couldn't trust him he was ending our relationship, he called me stupid for picking a bear over a man. My friends think I was just being honest and that he shouldn't take it personally, but I'm not so sure because all of them are girls. AITA?

i was at the beach last night with my bf and about 10 other friends. we were just doing stupid college student stuff, and started playing truth or dare. there was a birthday party about 50 feet from us. one of the girls in our group dared me to flash my tits at the birthday boy. i looked at my boyfriend to see what we thought, and he just laughed and shrugged. we got the attention of the guys who's birthday it was, i lifted up my bikini top and showed him my boobs for like 5 seconds and ran back to my group. everyone was laughing and cheering, including my boyfriend.

at the end of the night, my bf and i were walking back to his car and we walked by that birthday guy again, he said something like "that was def the best present i got today, you have really nice tits" i laughed and lifted my top again and shimmied a little giving him a good view of my boobs.

we walked away and i looked at my bf laughing, and saw that he looked really upset. he said that what id done was totally uncool and out of line. it was one to thing to show my boobs during a game with his permission, but it was another thing to voluntarily flash my tits again without consulting him first. i said that i was really sorry. i had just figured that since he was cool with it the first time that it wouldn't bother him the second time, especially since it's not like i was gonna let him feel me up or get physical in any way.

he told me that he considered what id done a form of cheating. we were gonna spend the night together, but he dropped me off at my apartment instead, and we haven't talked yet today.

aitah? did i cheat? what should i do now?

I had no idea my husband was a secret cross dresser. He's very masculine with a big beard, a blue collar job, and masculine hobbies.

Came home one day to find that he was wearing my clothes. He confessed he had been cross dressing for a while before we even met.

He secretly wore all of my clothes even my underwear while cross dressing! It explained why my clothes were worn out more than they should be. He is much larger than I am so he ruined my clothes.

We talked about it and he said he's been doing this before he met me and that he had periods where he'd stop and start again. He thinks maybe there's a chance I would like to dress him up and do makeup with him. Why would I want to do that?

I moved out, realized I didn't want a cross dressing husband, and told him I wanted a divorce. He has been devastated and begging me to reconsider.

I don't plan on changing my decision and I hope he finds someone who is more than willing to help him on his cross dressing journey. AITAH?

I (19M) have been dating my girlfriend (23F) for almost a year now. When we started dating, she had several guy friends and a guy best friend. I made it clear from the start that if she wants me to stay with her then that’s gotta go. She agreed and stopped texting or interacting with them. We’ve never had any problems during our relationship until 2 days ago, when she was at my place and had to use the bathroom, she left her phone on the couch. Her phone started ringing and i saw a guy’s name which wasn’t any of her cousins or brothers. I asked her about it, then she spilled the infamous line “he’s just a friend”, and how she didn’t tell me about it because she didn’t think she had to and she refused to show me the text conversation. I told her to pack her stuff and we’re done. She started crying going hysterical and starts talking about how she’s gonna block him now. I told her to leave. For some reason i didn’t give a shit.

Later my phone starts blowing up, getting texts from her, her sister and mother, saying how im an asshole that played with her heart and never really loved her and just used her. I blocked them all.

The day after, 3 of them show up at my apartment. She starts crying on her sister’s shoulder, her mother kept talking about how i should give her a chance and i shouldn’t just throw her away and break her heart for something so stupid. She was begging me to give her another chance. I told her if thats what you’re here to talk about then you get out. They left after i repeatedly asked them to. I told them never to contact me again.

Today my phone starts blowing up from an unknown number. I never answered.

We had a very healthy relationship. Rarely ever got into fights and had a future planned for ourselves.

AITAH? Am i being immature? Should i take her back?

Wife (39f) and I (40m) been married 8 years to each other and with each other for 15yrs+. 2 little kids with each other as well. As with other relationships sex is not exactly regular anymore tho it's amazing when we do do it.

I've always found shower sex to be more frustrating than amazingly enjoyable. Awkward angles, shower noise distracting, same position all the time, constant steam heat makes it much more difficult to finish than usual. Performance wise no issues just the finish.

So last night wife initiated in the shower and it was great for a time, about 10mins in she finished resoundingly and I felt like I wasn't going to. Rather than just carry on and risk hurting her which is usually what happens when it goes on a bit, still standing to attention I said I was OK didn't need to finish or carry on am glad she was able to finish gave her big kiss and we carried on washing up. Bear in mind she wanted to finish me was asking what I need what she can do.

Well after 1min maybe with the soap and her turned around against me I felt the regular twinge that it could happen quite quickly here, so I started stroking against her ass then slipped it back in for maybe 1-2mins and was finished.

Now I could see the look on her face after and today as well. She feels like I went too far and the surprise of round 2 took her really unexpectedly. She feels I was very much in the wrong for doing that and finishing. Her Attitude kinda make me feelin like a massive perv and creep. At first I was very apologetic like what have I done, mood kinda sucky when it was supposed to be feeling good.

After sleeping on it now I'm like hang on were we not still in the alloted sex window?

So AITA for 'restarting' without explicit permission right after she'd finished and once I've declared I'm done?

All you people that turn EVERY post into something about gender: YTA and it’s getting extremely old.

I [35F] is a single mother to my daughter Sandra [13F]. A few weeks ago Sandra came home crying, and when i asked her what was wrong she just stormed to her room. This repeated for atleast a week, until i finally sat her down and talked with her. Apperantly a girl named Layla had been bullying my daughter for the past two weeks calling her “fatherless” and “h0e” because Sandra had become friends with Laylas ex boyfriend. After we talked i wrote to the school, but this just made things worse.

Yesterday i was dropping Sandra off at school and when she got out of the car four girls walked up to her and started talking to her. I could suddenly hear a red headed one say “you such a fatherless h0e” and they all started laughing. I immediatly got out of the car and rushed over to Sandra, who was looking down. Suddenly the red headed one said “oh, has mommy come to save you” and they all started giggling. She then pushed my daughter to the ground inromt of me, and my blood was boiling. “Don’t touch my daughter you red heades h0e” i suddenly yelled and slapped her, making her fall to the ground.

Today i got a email from the school adressing this matter and telling me that Sandra is expelled. When i told Sandra this, she was actually happy.

Should i have handled things nicer, as an adult?

I (26) have a long history of ED, went to therapy and cured it, I recently gained 10kg due to life situations and was vocal about this to my partner(58). Yes I know, he’s old.

He was very supportive and said my weight doesn’t matter to him. His daughter has ED so I have tried to support him. He mentioned that his ex wife had left herself for go too.

A few weeks ago, I mentioned I still have 9kg to go, he said yes, I can tell your thighs are a lot bigger now. I told him off and he apologised, he didn’t meanto say it.

Yesterday, mentioned I have 2 kg to go and he said I can tell you’ve lost weight, especially on your waist, but your waist was a lot smaller when I met you three years ago. I was shocked. He apologised. It took me a while to process it and I bought it up again, one day after, told him how it made me feel, if I get pregnant, how my ex did the same and it triggered me ED, questioned whether he would he compare my body to the way it was before pregnancy and leave me for an escort. This triggered him. He got up and left, literally packed his things at 6am and left. We have had these arguments before because his phone history had escorts on it.

I have no family so feel stuck, I know I should leave him, he said I blew things out of proportion and shouldn’t have mentioned the escorts or the comments he made about his ex wife. He said my thinking is out of order, how did I get to pregnancy from a small comment he made. I explained it wasn’t a small comment and he knows my history of ED.

He said I bought up the weight issue, which I agreed but didn’t expect him to make those comments, he said he would be fine if I commented on his weight and he would improve. I replied that men and women think differently and what he said was wrong.

Edit: I don’t comment on my weight for attention, it’s a part of me and wanted to share it with him. His daughter has an ED so I expected him to be more understanding.

Was watching the debate a few nights back, and said to my wife "If Trump wins, I think we should plan to leave the country." She called this insane. I pointed to RvW being overturned, an now Chevron, and that Trump would get to place two new SC justices to replace to elderly ones, cementing a permanent conservative activist court for 50 years. I pointed out that as bad as Trump was first term, he would be even less restrained in the second. My wife calls all of that "bullshit noise" and says both parties are the same, and that none of it impacts us. For the record, we are white, wealthy, retired, and childless (though I am Jewish which I feel could become a thing in Trump's second term), so she's right as far as that goes, but we have gay friends, and my best friend has a transgender child, and just because nothing has directly impacted us yet, doesn't mean it never will or that I wish to continue to participate in a society that is going backwards by leaps and bounds.

Also, just because we are exploring options, doesn't mean we have to take one. Biden could be re-elected, replace Alito and/or Thomas, and move the court back towards center. And I think if Trump loses twice, even while saying he won, that ultimately the GOP will move away from him and at least some of his more violent rhetoric. But if we wait until Trump wins, then it could literally be too late. Alarmist perhaps, but I'm sure some Jews in Germany in the 1930s felt that friends of theirs who fled the country were overreacting too. I don't expect concentration camps to open, but certainly violence will increase, and the FBI may be too gutted to do anything about it, or simply be instructed to do nothing about it if the people being hurt are the right ones. I want to plan for that possibility, and see it as no different than keeping a hurricane kit in good order.

So, some serious strife in the household. AITAH?

Edit: Two things.

So, one, for people who posted essentially, fuck you, move ASAP, you won't be missed or variances thereof, this I think is the greatest failure of the US. We had a time when we disagreed on policy, but still ultimately cared for one another. John McCain calling Obama a good man even though he disagreed with him. Now, one party at least, is hanging 'fuck your feelings,' and 'liberal tears are delicious' flags. They should be ashamed. That's not how Americans behave, or at least how they should.

Two, I fully realize that moving to another country is a large undertaking, which is why I intend to start laying it out soon, and be ready should the worst happen.

My daughter(16) is not an easy person to get along with, I know that, but I love her anyway. She has some issues that we are working on in therapy.

My wife knew this before we got married. We have been married for 4 months and she is 32 weeks pregnant.

My daughter and wife had some problems during these past months. It all started when we were discussing how to decorate baby's room and my wife said we should give my daughter's room to the baby and move my daughter to the smaller room because my daughter's room is closer to ours. I wasn't going to agree to this but my daughter heard her and she was not happy. They had a terrible fight over this.

Over the past few months, my daughter has been acting up. It's just small things like once she locked my wife outside without any keys or phone and she had to go to the neighbor's house and call me to come home and open the door for her. She will go to the store to buy things she knows my wife loves and craves and eats in front of her knowing my wife is in bed rest and can't go to the store and she plays loud music while my wife is trying to sleep.

Well today our bathroom needed to be repaired and my wife had to use my daughter's bathroom. Right before my wife wanted to go there my daughter went inside and said she needs to us it first. My wife kept knocking but she wouldn't open the door and was there for I think about half an hour and my wife had an accident. I comforted her and told her she has nothing to be ashamed of but she started to cry and demanding I should either send my daughter to live with her mom or she will leave.

I told her that my daughter is and will always be a priority over her and she called me an asshole and went to our bedroom and won't talk to me now.

My partner (26M) of 10 years has been told all his life that he smells awful. His farts, his breath, his scalp, and his sweat all smell so bad that he actually stopped sweating altogether due to the embarrassment and anxiety it caused and broke out in hives instead. He got full on anaphylaxis once, but once he discovered this and worked on it in therapy, he started sweating again and the hives went away almost entirely. This should be such a win, but his sweat really does smell foul. My sense of smell seems to have gotten worse (better?) over the years, and if he just talks a foot away, it smells like death. Even just hugging him, directly after a shower in which he shampoos twice, I can smell his scalp and it puts me off. I try not to mention it unless I absolutely have to, but even then, it makes him so insecure. He gets really defensive because he washed his body, wears deodorant, used shampoo, etc. It's gotten to the point where I don't kiss him because his face is oily and his breath smells. His lips also are constantly cracking and crumbling, I assume bc he has eczema, and I stopped cuddling with him the other day because when I ran my hand over his elbow, it flaked off and it grossed me out (he doesn't use lotion due to sensory issues). He also used to have a horrible dandruff problem, but we fixed that by switching out his shampoo, albeit with lots of emotional pain.

All of this adds up to the general perception that he's just gross, and it's ruining our relationship. Despite our best efforts with Lysol and ventilation, I feel trapped in my own home sometimes. It seems like if we have any close physical contact at all I'll end up mentioning something because it'll prevent me from continuing the interaction. This has obviously taken a toll on him. He feels unwanted and like nothing he does is good enough. I know there are things he could be doing better, like washing his face, using a washcloth in the shower, separate antiperspirant and deodorant, antibacterial soap, daily showers, (currently every other day, but working on it!), lotion, better teeth brushing, etc, but I also know he does his best and it feels like I'm breathing down his neck. We both struggle with executive functioning, so it feels incredibly hypocritical to ask him to do these things when I don't even do them. At the same time, he doesn't mind my smells or even think I smell bad, and whenever I bring it up, he's defensive. So I try to hide my feelings but keep my distance, which only seems to make him feel even more unloved.

This isn't to mention that we recently discovered he's very allergic to dairy (not lactose) and even cross contamination leads to 2 weeks of an entirely different awful smell that gets into the walls, carpet, bedding, and all of his clothes. I just don't know what to do at this point. He's doing his best, but I also don't know if he realizes he might need to do more than the average person, since he does get so defensive about it.

What do I do??

Edit: I should clarify I try to be very gentle when I do bring it up, like, "I'm sorry, I just can't [be close right now] because of XYZ smell". I try to separate the smell from his personhood in my language, but I'm sure I'm far from perfect with it.

So I have been wanting to get into this book called Lord of The Mysteries. In my research I was told that some of the first 200 chapters are unimportant. I then asked a dedicated subreddit about and was met with and harsh criticism for not wanting to sit through 40 chapters of unimportant chapters and horrible translations. One person specifically who will not be named was very openly vocal about how terrible a person I am for not wanting to read that much unimportant chapters and after I had deleted the post made another one that they found me and harassed me on again.

So Am I the Asshole for not wanting to read all of those chapters and asking for advice about it.

I (17m) went no contact with my mother (47f) around half a year ago. To be perfectly honest, this was probably inevitable. Both my older brother “Dan” (23m) and my older sister “Laura” (21f) have either gone no contact or low contact with my mother, and all three of us moved out to live with our father instead.

I moved in with my father when I was 13, but I still went to my mother’s house during some holidays and for a month over the summer. I also texted her frequently but, looking back, perhaps not as frequently as I should have. We never really called and she never asked.

My mother has more money than my father. Both her and my step-father are retired and live in a very nice house with very nice cars. There was one car that she never drove, a fairly good car that she had been holding onto for a while (I don’t know what kind of car it was). When I was 15 and starting Driver’s Ed, she told me that she would give me this car. I told her that it really wasn’t necessary and I didn’t need a car, but she insisted that she wanted to give it to me and well, I wasn’t about to turn down a free car.

Laura and my father told me not to expect too much, as my mother had made a very similar promise to both Dan and Laura and never followed through, but I never really heeded their warnings. To put it simply and a bit cruelly: I was the only child that actually talked to her. Why would she lie to me about this?

Then, she texted me in the middle of class to tell me that she had sold the car, because it made more sense for her financially. Instead, she offered $500 to help with gas when I got a car. I told her to keep the money and go spend it on her new car, and she told me not to be upset and that my father would probably get me a car I liked better.

But this wasn’t really about the car, and I told her as much. She lied to me, just like she lied to Dan and to Laura. And even going on beyond cars, she lied constantly about stuff like this. She made promises and went back on them all the time. This just felt like the final nail in the coffin when it came to expecting anything from her, because she never followed through.

A month later we had an argument over text about it. She told me that she didn’t feel comfortable giving such a nice car as a first car and that she didn’t like that I wasn’t “passionate” about it when I talked to her. “It feels like you expect it from me.” She also said that I didn’t deserve to get it because I didn’t try to have a relationship with her. When I pointed out that she lied to me about the financial part, she got defensive and again said that I didn’t put enough effort into our relationship.

I told her that I was done with her if she didn’t think that me visiting her and texting was enough. What else did she want me to do? Move back in with her? She replied that I didn’t understand a mother’s love. After that, I stopped responding.

I never asked for the damn car, I never asked for her help getting a car. I didn’t even want a car. But she promised me this, lied about it, then lied about the reasons she lied about it. And it hurt a lot when she told me that I didn’t put enough effort into our relationship. I didn’t know her affection for me was based off how high I jumped when she told me to.

It didn’t help that I have lingering resentment over how she treated me and my siblings growing up. I was the favourite child, but that only meant that I watched her argue and demean my siblings constantly while she praised me, leading to a rift between the three of us that we’re still trying to heal. It’s not Dan and Laura’s fault that they hated me for being my mother’s golden child. I would have too, in their place. Besides, being my mother’s favourite didn’t mean I was immune to her volatile behaviour.

To add onto that, there was a period where my step-father, who married my mother when I was around 3 or 4, abruptly left for around half a year. No contact outside of him telling her he wanted a divorce. Didn’t even come to see Laura off at the airport when she went to my father’s house. For a long time, it was just me and my mother in a house meant for four people and my mother was inconsolable. I was 12 and I had to take over and act like an adult because no one was really taking care of me. And then, when he came back one day, she welcomed him with open arms. They’re still together. I don’t forgive him and I don’t forgive her.

She’s messaged me multiple times since I stopped talking to her. I don’t think she knows that this goes far deeper than the car. Recently, I’ve been feeling guilty over it. I still love her. She’s still my mother. Am I the Asshole for cutting her off? Should I message her? Sorry this was so long, but I needed to get this off my chest. I miss her, I think, but she makes me feel terrible and she’s treated Dan and Laura terrible. Am I in the wrong?

My husband and I have four beautiful children. When I was pregnant with my first I knew I wanted to name her for my mom. My mom is my best friend and had helped me through so much, so I named her a version of my mom's name and it was perfect.

My husband wanted to name our second for his dad and I was fine with it, so our son has FIL's first name. Then we had our second and wanted to keep up the family names so we went with my dad's middle name.

Now for the issue. Our fourth and final child was another girl, so I guess MIL was expecting it to be named after her and I guess it wasn't an unreasonable expectation, but MIL's name is Scarlett and she was named after Scarlett O'Hara and it's a pretty enough name but all I can say is eww. eww eww eww.

MIL's middle name was after her mom who was a vile human being. MIL agrees and wasn't even at the funeral, so that was out. We ended up going with a name we simply loved though it didn't have the meaning behind our other kids names.

MIL got huffy when we announced it and has been super cold ever sense. She is acting like she could not care less about our little family and when my husband tried to talk to her she just rolled her eyes and blew him off. Her husband told him we are assholes and we embarrassed her and it is especially insensitive when we named a kid after her ex.

I feel kind of bad because it was really nothing she did. It was the Gone with the Wind thing, but at the same time I am not responsible for her feelings

Aitah, so husband (m46) and i (f33) are hosting a little family Bbq next saturday. Now last year we did about 8 bbqs and we paid for all the food and drinks and was super expensive for 8 people. So my husband and i discussed it and we decided to say to the other couple coming we pay for food (as we are hosting). They pay for drinks. They agreed this was fair.

So i jokingly "put in my drink order". I send over the info for what i would like and what husband wants. I want a premixed cocktail 10 a bottle i want 2 so 20 altogether for me and 12 for husbands crate of lager. I think this is fair and reasonable. However i have not had a response but they have read my messages. Usually they do this when they have an issue with how much something costs. Instead of saying they get passive aggressive.

Now they will drink ANYTHING as long as it has a percentage, i cant i have health issues/ renal issues so a extremely rare occasion i drink i need to becareful what i consume and not just consume any old trash. They know this. Also i like what i like, when we buy food we buy food they like we will purchase specific things for certain fussy eaters even though all of it wont be eaten and we wont eat it ourselves so the rest goes in the bin. So i foresee them cancelling or there will be a debate coming up from the male partner as he will be the one with the issue despite the fact he will pay double that for one drink for him self ( a single serve, mine is a bottle of multple serves 5 or 6 ).

So i think come saturday they will show up without it, claiming it was sold out ( i have preemptivley bought some incase they do this so im not without a drink.) Yes i do think this is petty and ridiculous.

Its also worth noting we just forked out 100 for a gazebo because there maybe light rain on the day, to keep us dry. Our bill for all the bits and bobs and food will be 100 to 150.

So aitah???

Hello! I'm posting on a seperate account because I'm pretty sure my boyfriend has my other one. Some of the minor info has been changed for this reason.

To start off, my boyfriend is M28 and I'm F22, we have been together for 3 years now and have played video games for at least 6 years with a group of mutuals. In 2021, I moved to his home state of Oklahoma from my home state of Michigan. There were several reasons unrelated to him that I moved, but the majority of the reason was because I was unhappy in my living situation with my mom, and I wanted to live closer to him. After moving out, I lived across the street from him in an apartment complex for 2 years, and then we signed a 6 month lease together this year just to test to see if we could live together. And, honestly, everything has been perfect. I'm happy, he's happy. We have 2 cats (I already had one and we adopted the other together) and a pretty average apartment. We work, come home, everything is fine between us. We've yet to fight over anything (minor squabbles here and there but nothing we can't just talk through and high five at the end).

Lately, however, I've spoken to him more in depth about our future together. We've spoken in the past and in 2021, we mostly agreed on things. My views on kids, however, have ultimately changed. I want a child. I've been around my friends with kids now, and I'm honestly feeling my personal feelings over them shift. I used to view it negatively, probably because of me being the oldest and having a lot of the parenting put onto me, but now the idea has really grown on me. I've been really thinking about it and it's something that I want in my life. I'd like to pass my last name on to someone, I'd love a child to hold, I love the emotional bond and the opportunity to give a piece of me to the future. It's all great.

He, on the other hand, doesn't know if he wants kids, and every time I've brought it up, he doesn't really know how to answer. He has 7 siblings and he was the oldest, that means he was responsible for a lot of their needs. I'm the oldest too, I understand that part. Three of his siblings are on the spectrum, though, which I can't relate to. Two have LFA. And, the other, has epilepsy and HFA.

His reasoning is that he is afraid of having kids because he doesn't want a child on the spectrum. With it being more common in his genetic makeup because of his family's history, it is a risk of him having a baby. (Like 70% more likely of the child developing ASD than people without it in their genes) And, honestly, I don't know if I could handle that either. It's a very difficult life and from what I've heard, what I've done research on, and from what he has experienced personally, it really just isn't the life for me, and I'd feel like a complete AH if I adopted out a child on the spectrum, for more than one reason.

Similarly, when speaking about adoption, he doesn't know if we'd be able to afford that because it's about $32,000 more than it would be to just have our own child. I'm honestly in the same boat, even if I don't mind adopting at least one child. It's extremely costly.

I'm really not expecting to have a baby anytime soon, I'd like to wait 3-4 more years to put a little more in savings away and fund my own emergency account before going into a family life. And, just to make it clear, his personal finances would cover both me and the baby starting right now for 2 years. With me contributing to his finances and his own for 3-4 years, we'd be okay until the baby started kindergarten, and I went to work. So, finances wouldn't be an issue as long as we stay on budget for the most part.

With this in mind, we have a bit of a disagreement on this.

My thinking is that this will just be a contention between us that won't really be resolved. Our relationship is honestly perfect the way it is, but I do know my future should have at least one child in it. Do I give him an ultimatum that we break up and just head our seperate ways if he doesn't want a kid? Or, do I just try to convince him that the risk is worth it? That, there's still a chance we can have a baby and he/she not be ASD because I have zero traces of ASD in my family. I'm aware that it is mostly inherited from the father, though. Is there something else we could do, besides breaking up, that I haven't been made aware of?

I don't want to leave him, but our views over children is a deal breaker for me if we can't figure it out. I have time to make a decision and my side of the family has opinions over it that I'm unsure of that I won't share here, as they are super obvious of an indication of who I am to my boyfriend. So, I figured I'd get strangers' opinions over this.

Edit: TL;DR My boyfriend doesn't want kids because he has ASD in his genetic makeup, and neither one of us think we could handle ASD, especially LFA. I want at least a child in the next 3 years. Financially, we wouldn't be able to afford adoption. WIBTAH for telling my boyfriend that we are going to break up if he doesn't want a kid in the future? Side question, are there other options for us to consider?

I(F20) had my boyfriend(M22) sleep over last night. Even though we live separately it is very casual for us to spend the night together. This past week we have been especially sexual except for yesterday and the day before. Yesterday, after watching our favorite show I was feeling a little frisky and tried making subtle moves on my bf which he kindly ignored and laid ready to fall asleep. In a final attempt, I reached for my “toys” which we often use together. I smiled to him saying I needed some help falling asleep and he replied “go for it don’t let me stop you.” At this point i’m kind of discouraged because while toy play is fun I was more so hoping my boyfriend would get arroused by my moans and play and join in. But this would not be the case. When i started, my boyfriend would hold my thigh but that was it. After a while he wasn’t touching me at all. I started to feel grossed out doing that next to my naked boyfriend when he wasn’t interested. I tried talking to him saying I couldn’t sleep but I assume he had already fallen asleep so I was at a loss. This turned me off incredibly, so I went to bed disappointed and irritated. When i woke up I gave my boyfriend the cold shoulder; mostly because I was embarrassed. I resisted telling him the reason for my fussing but when I finally let it out he was upset of course. It has been a common pattern in our relationship where he will finish while i can’t, and I can tell it makes him feel unmasculine (that’s not the right word but u get it). I was pretty upset because even if I wasn’t in the mood for play myself I would have happily stayed up an hour to help him get there even if i was tired. For more context, just 2 days prior I spent 45 minutes to an hour sucking and rubbing him in a tight uncomfortable hammock in public without complaint or stopping. I waited for him to finish and asked him to walk me through it as we usually enjoy. Yes, he does pleasure me often but it does feel like i’m willing to go farther and longer to help him achieve climax. Most of the time i don’t finish (which does not show bad on him he is very good at making me feel good) and I think it is just something I will not achieve on a regular basis (i have never orgasmed on my own and it is very difficult to achieve). I gave him the cold shoulder this morning and am still kind of upset that he didn’t make an effort to help me “get off” last night. Am I the Asshole?

I (f28) officially moved in with my boyfriend (m34), Jake, in Feb but had basically been there since September. We've been together a little over a year and know eachother since I was 19. Important info, I have bad PTSD from SAs (and have had a diffixult recovery after finally reporting 6mnths ago) and Jake has dyslexia and a few other minor learning difficulties.

Last night, we got into what started as a spat, we'd both been busy during the day so when he came home we were catching up. I mentioned that I found some folders of work from my old job at a SEN college (I was a fs teacher and left 2 weeks ago after 4 months sick leave) that I didnt realise I had (my cars a mess as I have been doing stalls at bootfairs with my mum) and mentioned needing to check for more work and return it. My boyfriend started acting irritable with me and basically implying that I was crap at my job and demanding how I could forgot about this coursework in my car. Basically, he locked onto the word "coursework" and assumed I'd meant work that was part of their overall grade, however this was more worksheets and classwork that I didn't have a chance to mark during the day and took home. We basically got in a tiff of me using the word "coursework", where I felt belittled and basically like my character was being judged because of one poor word choice. I tried to explain this to my boyfriend but he was basically focused on me using the wrong term and explained why, however he always seems to talk down to me when he thinks he's right and won't ever admit to being wrong.

So here's why I might be the ah, while bf was telling me that I was wrong (I was irriated at the point) he confused two words and blended them - think 'suspicified'- while lecturing me on my word choice. First thing I did when I started talking was to point out what he had said. Within 2 seconds he was shouting at me 'dont you dare ever speak like that to me', 'everyone does that to me and you had to as well' and threw the remote on the floor (it broke), slammed a few things and shut himself in the bathroom.

I have a history of being abused and SA'd by bfs (and although I never saw anything close to violence from my bf til last night) I got triggered and dissociated (I remember fuzzy chunks) - ended up getting dressed, throwing things in a bag and walking out into the town with no idea where to go. My dad called me as we had been sorting something out earlier in the day and could hear me crying on the phone so he asked what was wrong and tried to calm me down. I told him that I was worried about Jake and dad suggested I talk to his brother because I was not stable to walk back in that situation. I called Jake's brother, explained we had an argument (and that I still didnt know how it escalated) and also that I ws worried,to check on him but he didn't answer. I left Jake a few messages on Whatsapp that I was staying at my parents. Jake called me a couple of hours after I left the house, while my dad was driving with me. He spent 33 min telling me that I had crossed a massive boundary by speaking to his brother and how dare I? That if I really cared, I would have checked on him in the bathroom and found out why he was upset, that I ridiculed him after he submitted his PHD that day. He was massively pissed that I called his brother and got his family involved, saying that I've made it into a bigger problem. I don't even know how many times I apologised for upsetting him, explaining I didn't intend to ridicule him and that he also upset me. He wasn't listening to it. He told me that he didn't care about my feelings and they didnt matter, he didnt care for or want my apologies. Things were left in a weird limbo last night, Dad overheard a chunk of the phonecall and is pretty concerned and shocked at how Jake acted, if Im honest, I am too

To start, I am a 21 year old male. Recently, I developed an addiction to pornography which led to me spending over $2000 on onlyfans content over the last few months. While this is a lot, I could afford it and while I definitely should have spent my money on something better, I still paid off all of my expenses first. My mother, who has access to my bank account but never told me, recently discovered this and confronted me about it. Firstly, I still live at home as I am working full time and am a student. Secondly, my mother is very religious and while I share her faith, I am nowhere near as serious about it as she is. When she confronted me about this she asked me quite a few personal questions. Such as what the content I was buying was, if she could see it, if I was creating content, etc. when I refused to answer these questions she proceeded to start crying and tell me that the devil has his hands on my soul and she’s worried that I won’t go to heaven. While, I don’t condone my previous actions and find them quite embarrassing, I believe that being a 21 year old boy who recently went through a rather serious break up that it is normal to watch this kind of content. She then proceeded to tell me that she wants to go through my phone to investigate, ask me everyday if I have watched anything NSFW, check my bank account everyday and have me tell her what every transaction is, and come to her whenever I have “an urge” as she put it. To put it plainly, this has mad wildly uncomfortable, and while I understand her concern and that I still live in their house, I believe that as a 21 year old, I should be able to spend my finances on whatever I want as long as I am paying bills and everything else first, more so I feel this is a huge invasion of my privacy even if she is just trying to help

My (25f) wife told me (24m) that I needed to haul my ass to the hospital in case our third baby comes as fast as our second (30 minutes). I told her I wasn’t getting a speeding ticket or a felony reckless driving to see the birth of our baby. She says that I should cause she’s seen stories of other people who got police escorts after being pulled over. I responded by pulling up an article from an attorney saying you still can and will get a ticket for it and they gave the example of the man who called 911 to tell the police he wasn’t resisting and was trying to go to the hospital, he received a ticket afterwards. She said “i see way more example of people getting a police escort” so I told her I’m not endangering myself or others just to see our baby being born, it’s not an emergency worth risking lives over. She countered with “what if I have a c section, my stance wasn’t changed. Am I the asshole?

My wife was watching something with Dr Phil interviewing Donald Trump. I’m not a Republican, I vote Democrat but I don’t go out of my way to let my opinions on Trump known to people. So I sit but go play Star Wars on my phone.

As the interview ends my wife points out how much she doesn’t like Biden. While I listen I’m not engaging much in the conversation because on the surface some of the stuff she’s saying can be true, if you look at certain things in more detail and take into account of nuance I’m sure there can be a debate about it. Some of the topics she was talking about included but not limited to: inflation, cost of goods, immigration, Trumps trial re: Stormy, and taxes.

She then asks if I’m still gonna vote for Democrat and without missing a beat I say yes. She wants to know why and I just say that between the two I dislike Biden less and I think Trump is nothing more than a bar friend. A bar friend being someone I don’t take seriously and wouldn’t want to depend on in a crisis. She then asks that can’t be the only reason and she’s asking for more of an explanation. I just reply with I just like Joe more/dislike Joe less and there’s not one certain policy that made me say Go Joe.

At this point I also say that I don’t have to give you any more reasons/explanation for my vote. She said that I should because as a married couple we should be able to talk about these things. She said she has friends with different political beliefs and she can talk with them about it. I say that I don’t care about them I don’t need to explain myself to you about who I vote for.

I get heated at this point and mention thanks to Trumps tax plan I lost a lot of my itemized deductions and ended up needing to pay more in taxes. She fumbles and says something that I was still saving money under Trump than Biden (whatever) and I tell her Trump had an easy 4 years and he messed up the COVID response. I tell her all he had to do was say “Be a patriot! Patriots wear masks!” and he would’ve been doing a victory lap in his 2nd term right now. Wife said that masks don’t work and I just say but him saying that would’ve won him a second term. Finally when Afghanistan withdrawal was brought up I told her that he negotiated with the Taliban and not with the Afghan government. She said that we don’t negotiate with terrorists and I said that we shouldn’t be. “Oh you’re just wrong about everything”. I shrug and say “uh huh”.

I added politically we are on opposite sides so I don’t see the point of talking about it. She said it’s who we are and I am quick to say who I vote for doesn’t define me as a person. She said it sorta does and we should be able to talk about these things and I said I don’t think we need to at all given how our conversation went with masks, Afghanistan, and taxes. She gets frustrated and just doesn’t say much after that.

So AITA?

I (16f) have a cousin named Fox (6m). Fox is annoying, to put it bluntly. He gets into all of my stuff. If you don't give him what he wants, he throws a tantrum. I had cupcakes from church. Fox got into the cupcakes and started eating them. I told him to stop because they weren't his. He started to throw a tantrum. I looked at him and said, "You know, if you eat too much sugar, your butt cheeks will get glued together, and there is no way to fix it." So he stopped trying to eat my cupcakes. I thought he was going on with his day.

Later, when he got back home, I received a call from my aunt. Apparently, Fox was refusing to eat anything because I told him that, and he was afraid that his butt cheeks would get glued together. I don't know what to do.