Buckle up guys, this will be kinda long.

So I (27F) have a younger brother, Mike (21M). He is the definition of a man child and a mama’s boy, always complaining, always expecting others to bow to him. Just, overall, an asshole. Ever since he was born, my parents fussed over him for everything. He’s not special needs, or had a traumatic birth or anything of the sort. He was just… born. And my parents completely discarded me. My mom (50F) especially. She went from a loving mother to one of those boy moms that people make fun of on the internet. My father (50M) still showed me love and support, but he’s always been too much of a coward to stand up to my mother and let me win at least once. The only one who stood for me was my grandpa (76M), who always called my parents out on their bullshit, and never liked my brother. I remind him of his late wife, my grandma, and we have a very special bond, but he lives on the other side of the country and I could never see him often.

Mike knows our mom prefers him, and loves to shove it in my face. Because of this and his behavior, we’ve always been at odds. He’s spoiled, a brat and an awful human. I can’t remember how many times I ended up in trouble for things I did better than him or for things he framed me with. His only talent are his football skills. He won a scholarship to a nice college out of state. My parents didn’t spend a dime on my education because apparently my fund had been used to cover expenses after a fire, just for me to discover years later that said money were given to Mike to buy a car and a house.

It’s at public university that I met Lucas. He was the first person I was really drawn to there. Of course I met new people who are now my dearest friends, and thanks to them and Lucas, who was my best friend for years before we got together, I managed to move out of my parents’ house. Now both Lucas and I are well known in our fields and have very good salaries.

Now, to the main issue. Lucas proposed to me a year ago. We’re very private people, so we didn’t post it on social media or anything, and when I told my parents they dismissed it with a “that’s nice” (I’m starting to think they downright didn’t listen to me at all). We decided that we wanted a nice but simple ceremony and reception with our friends and relatives.

Lucas convinced me to invite my parents and brother, but they never responded to the invite. And whenever I went to visit and began to talk about my wedding (without mentioning it was a wedding), my mom would always speak over me and about my brother’s accomplishments and wild adventures. At one point I got fed up with it, and interrupted my mom to tell her that there was an event I was planning to organize, whose date was unmovable. She told me that they couldn’t attend, because my brother was playing the last game of the season that very same day, and wanted them to be there.

Of course, this favoritism didn’t surprise me: they missed my ballets, shows and both my high school and university graduation for things about him. At this point, i wanted to be petty. I told both my parents that it wasn’t a problem to miss this event, purposely omitted the fact that this event was my wedding, and didn’t insist further.

Flash forward to a few weeks ago, I got married. It was perfect. My family, Lucas’ family and our friends were all there, and we had a blast. My grandpa was happy to give me away, and it was just perfect. My relatives asked me multiple times why my parents weren’t there with us. I was honest and simply said they had my brother’s game to attend, and couldn’t come. They gave me a few looks, and my grandpa was visibly angry for a while, but otherwise nothing strange happened.

After the reception, Lucas and I left for our honeymoon, and were phone free for the whole duration of the trip. But once we got back, we discovered that a shit storm was welcoming us home. I turned my phone on, and was unable to even unlock it before a storm of notifications popped up. Most of them were from my mother and brother. Mike called me all sorts of nasty names and insulted me because, apparently, one of my paternal aunts posted the photos of the wedding on Facebook, and captioned it with a very obvious dig at my parents (especially my mom) for missing the wedding. The post apparently went viral in my parents’ community, and they’ve been publicly shamed for their mistreatment of me. It also turns out that my grandpa personally visited my parents to go on a tirade to shame my father, his son, to the point of tears. And this seemed to be my father’s breaking point, because he was so distraught for missing his only daughter’s wedding and for his father’s disapproval, that he finally rebelled against my mom and is threatening divorce unless she makes it up to me. I think that’s the reason why my mom has been spamming my phone with messages, at first insulting and threatening and then downright pitiful, full of begging and pity parties.

Now I’m at home with my husband, deciding how to approach the situation. Most of my relatives, even those I didn’t invite to the wedding, reached out to apologize for what I went through and to claim they had no idea this was happening at home (can’t blame any of my relatives, they all live with my grandpa on the other side of the country or in another state), but my mom’s sisters and friends are belittling me for not telling my mom about the wedding, because now she’s inconsolable at the thought of having missed my wedding. Personally I think she just claims that to save face, but I’m not sure.

The latest messages from my father and mother seem extremely saddened and hurt for missing my wedding. Now my family is divided on three fronts: the majority who is sticking by my side, my maternal aunts shaming me for hurting my mom’s feelings, and my maternal grandparents who are adamant that I forgive my mom in light of her “atonement”. My best friends are telling me not to listen to them.

So, Reddit, AITA?

Edit: Thank you so much for the feedback and love! It’s overwhelming! I’m going to address the popular questions here: 1. I did inform my parents about my wedding. I sent traditional on paper invites to all my guests, and was notified that all invites had reached their addressees. I did not receive any answer from my parents and Mike, a few very distant relatives, and some people on Lucas’ side. I did reach out to all of them through message to double check, and those who hadn’t replied told me they couldn’t come. I asked my parents and brother via text, but they didn’t respond. I was left on read. Knowing them and given all the things I had to plan, I didn’t bother insisting. 2. I didn’t repeat the date of my wedding because I had already been told there was my brother’s game. Plus, every time I insisted on highlighting my celebrations to get an answer, I was always told that it wasn’t that important and to not be pissy and a bother. Because some things were simply more important than me. At this point I think it’s fair for me to not insist anymore. It’s not worth the effort. 3. I didn’t keep my wedding a secret. I avoided telling my parents that it was my wedding to see if they would be interested in the slightest, but surprise surprise, they weren’t. Despite this, I did openly talk about my wedding with my aunts and uncles. My mother was in the room with us a few times when I discussed venues or dress shops with my aunt (the FB post one), but some times mom was on the phone, and other times she was just chatting with other people. She never paid attention. When I talked about it during reunions, she smiled and said “that’s great, dear”, and then would change the subject. Radio silence on dad and Mike. 4. I kept in contact with them because, well, all the times I tried to go NC in the past years I’ve been harassed. I tried after my hs, bachelors and masters’ graduations, to which they never bothered to show up for reasons involving my brother. Every time I was shamed for daring to turn my back on family by my parents, my brother, my maternal aunts and my maternal grandparents. I think the turning point here is that, all those times, Lucas wasn’t by my side (we started dating a little after my last attempt at going NC) and, how that I have him here, I feel more confident in my stance. But before that, I want this confident. As I already stated, all my paternal side lives on the other side of the country and wasn’t aware of how they treated me. I did try to expose my parents once, at 14. My aunts, uncles and grandpa reprimanded them, they faked being sorry, and then once home I got the beating and gaslighting of my life for “lying”. After that, l kept in contact regularly with my paternal side, but omitting my parents’ abuse out of fear, which tbh still haunts me to this day. Only grandpa knew, but he was always threatened to be alienated from me if he tried anything. 5. My parents and I are not from the same city. I live in a city an hour drive from my parents’ small town, and they don’t know my new address because once, my brother tried to break in my apartment to steal some cash and my mother backed him up, claiming that siblings share their goods. Now i moved, and I’ll be sure not to tell them where I live. 6. My parents didn’t buy my brother a car and a house before he even started high school. They bought him a car for his 16th birthday, and a house near his college when he began freshman year. They didn’t spend the money of my fund right away, they just lied to me to use it later for my brother, keeping it stored for later in the meantime.

My niece (26F) has her wedding in a month, and she wants me to give her away at her wedding. Her father passed away when she was really young, and I felt a moral obligation to help my sister and her daughter, because my sister too helped me a lot growing up. 

I knew I had an obligation to my wife and children primarily, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t help out my sister and her daughter too. Since they lived just 10 minutes from us, I tried to be as physically active as possible in my niece’s life when she growing up. My wife and I have had a few arguments on it over the years. I have also been sending money to my sister every month for the past decade or so. It is from my individual account, not the joint account my wife and I share, so I have full liberty to spend it however I want. But my wife does know about it, and we have had arguments on this too.  

Now coming to the point, my niece wants me to give her away at her wedding next month. But my wife thinks it’s very weird and she doesn’t want me to do it. I told my wife there’s nothing weird about it, and her opinion on this is irrelevant. We have had lot of discussions on this over the past week, and I am made to feel like a bad guy by my wife.

Am I the bad guy? Am I the AH if I were to give my niece at her wedding?

My mother in law (55F) lives with me (30F), my husband (29M), and our three kids (SS7), my daughter (6), and our daughter (1).

Some info, his mom is around but he only sees her maybe 2 days a month. All the kids needs and wants comes out of my paycheck.

The issue is my MIL has what I consider an unhealthy attachment to my SS. She's to the point where she's obsessed with him.

He can do nothing wrong in her eyes. He sleeps in bed with every night even though he definitely has his own bed. If I tell him to do something he doesn't want to do or she doesn't think he should do, she either does it for him or throws a fit saying he shouldn't have to.

The breaking point was last night when I told the kids to go to bed and specified they needed to go get in their own bed. My SS went and got in my MIL bed. I told him he needed to go get in his bed. He threw a fit saying she said he could and she's screaming saying that he always sleeps with her.

I ended up winning that argument but then I hear her talking to my husband saying "he's only slept in his bed one night this summer. He always sleeps with me." Then I made the comment that he's going to sleep in his bed every night once school starts and she laughs and goes "no he's not." I was so angry at that point I just walked away.

Then I hear him in his bedroom saying that when I go to bed she'll come get him. He said that I'm going to get mad and she goes "I don't care!"

At that point I told my husband I'm not parenting him anymore. I'll still help with him but I'm not parenting. She can pay for and bring him to all his extra curriculars, she can get him up and bring him to school, she can buy all his school clothes and supplies. If he wants to stay up till 5am, so be it. If he wants to eat nothing but microwave Ramen, I'm done fighting it.

My husband told me that SS is going to be the one to end up suffering for it and I responded with telling him that I can't take the constant walking on egg shells in my house and the stress so I'm washing my hands of this.

So AITAH for saying I'm not parenting my SS?

We're at a hotel. My son (6M) decided to walk on my laptop keyboard which was plugged into the wall outlet while charging. I (35M) asked him to move off of it twice with a pause in between. He did not get off.

The third time I told him to get off while raising my voice, putting my hand on his bottom and moving him off the keyboard with a medium sized push. He did not get injured but he did cry because he said he "wasn't done".

My SO (35F) said I was in the wrong for pushing and made me apologize. She said I should never move anyone else's body without their permission.

AITAH?

I found out earlier this month our daughter had sex. I was floored and left speechless. She is 16 though and of course not unheard of. Honestly it came out of left field and we were dealing with some other issues regarding her.

My husband is what I’ll call high strung. He overreacts a lot when it comes to things. I waited three weeks and finally told him. He is livid. He sees me not telling him immediately as a breech of trust, etc.

I tried to explain that I kept it from him because we already were dealing with issues and I myself needed to digest everything. He called me neglectful for not getting her to the doctor as soon as I found out. She is on birth control and I had verified she has had multiple periods. As the encounter happened three months ago. I told him I wasn’t going to make an appt without telling him to begin with.

This went down last Sunday. We both talked her on Tuesday and went through the situation. He handled it okay. He ignored my birthday Wednesday. Won’t touch me, barely talks to me.

AITA for not telling him as soon as I found out?

I've been meaning to post an update for a while now but was just so occupied with everything going on.

After everything that happened, my in-laws found out that my husband and I are staying separately (because he also stopped sending them money for their upkeep). They called me, and I told them everything honestly, including what I said.

My in-laws completely took my side. They threatened to cut their son out of their lives for his infidelity and were also angry about the embarrassment he has caused them. They've told him that the only way he can make it up to them is by obtaining my forgiveness and making it up to ME. I'm thankful for them.

They also informed my parents and reassured them that they'll be supporting me no matter what. I've been living with my in-laws since.

Many of you were right: she was never pregnant and never had a miscarriage. She couldn’t provide any evidence of pregnancy or a miscarriage. According to my mother-in-law, I think my husband realized she’d been lying about her pregnancy only after leaving me.

It also turns out that she really IS my husband’s distant cousin. So he wasn’t lying about that at least. She apparently begged my in-laws not to tell her own parents, but they went ahead and told them anyway.

Word spread, and she is now in shame for premarital sex, that too with a married man. I don't know specific details about her, but I think she’s pretty much been put under house arrest by her parents other than for absolutely essential trips.

My parents are too old to have much of an opinion. They are reassured that my in-laws are on my side and are happy with anything I do.

My husband and I are still not on good terms, but I still love him very much. I need time to heal from this and a proper apology, which I’m yet to receive. But once I do, I’m inclined to take him back.

I think he currently resents me because of the backlash he got (I think he was fully expecting me to be on the receiving end of it, as I was) and is upset that his parents took my side. But eventually, I think he will realize the error of his ways.

I don't know if this update is happy or not, but my heart feels lighter.

I wanted to update because so many people reached out to me offering words of comfort and support both on the post and in DMs. I read all of it, even if I couldn’t reply to everyone personally. Thank you to everyone.

Edit: Im not Indian, not that I have any problems with India or Indians. I’m 36 years old and it’ll be hard for me to find anyone else after this. Im not being a doormat, I’m being practical so I won’t be lonely later.

I 19f am expecting my first child. My husband 20 m and I are young and we know it. We come from religious families (or so I thought). But we love each other very much and what to do right by each other. We waited. This was difficult as I’m sure you and imagine. He proposed on my graduation day. We met a few years ago at youth camp and we have been smitten since. He had a good job at a construction company, was smart with his money and bought his own home. He rents rooms out to his friends as they move out of their parents homes. His parents have never liked me because of my friends group. Some of my friends like to party and get themselves into some trouble. They figure I am as they are given ‘bad company corrupts good morals.’ But I’m not like them and I try to keep my life clean and mess free. I still think it’s ok to love my friends in spite of what they choose to do for the most part. Anyway because his parents don’t think we are ‘decent’ (if you catch my drift) there have been insinuations. None were true. We decided against the big white wedding. We decided on a small ceremony at the JP. I don’t have much of a family to invite and neither does he. We also thought there’d be drama and didn’t want drama to ruin the big day in addition to spending a lot of money. About a week before the wedding his dad suggests a fishing trip for the two of them as a one last time before a new chapter for my then fiancee. As they were fishing his mom showed up and together they suggested he explore his options with other girls in the tent they brought with. See what he thought before settling for just one. They even had someone in mind. He promptly left his crap and all there and went home. They were upset at the inconvenience and dropped his stuff off on my doorstep to organize because ‘ it would be my responsibility soon anyway.’

So the big day comes. I put on my thrift store dress and borrowed a pair of heels and put on the locket that had my brother, mom and dad’s pictures. They were in an accident when I was 4 taking my brother out for his birthday and I wanted them close that day. My aunt raised me. She cautioned me about marrying so young but she respected my decision.

I meet him outside the court house and take some pictures first. We go inside, say our vows, kiss. When the applause stops my now mother in law stands up and says ‘I think this is stupid and a sham. She’s pregnant and I can prove it.’ We were flabbergasted. She pulls out a sonogram and shows it to my husband. He drops it to the floor and says ‘I thought you’d pull something. Don’t bother coming to dinner.’ And we left in his car to go to our favorite local restaurant. It was really nice dinner. She did not show up but his dad did. Fast forward about a month we got a positive test. It was not expected. We tried to be careful. I immediately found some parenting classes offered close by and had been going twice a week for a few weeks before we told her. He told her on speaker phone so there would be no surprises about her reaction. ‘Well we’ll see if you were lying at your wedding now.’ Was more or less her response. A few months later his sister told me her mom planned to get a DNA sample from our baby (girl) when she was born to prove she was not my husbands. I messaged her and said she was not allowed at my birth or my home until she apologized. I also told my husband I am more than happy to have him take a dna test if he’s worried as I have nothing to hide. He said he’s not worried about that but I guess we shall see. I know she won’t apologize. My husband says he’d like me to reconsider and would like his mother to know her grand kid. But he agrees with the apology and that she probably won’t. AITA??

My wife is pregnant and is pretty emotionally distressed. She will cry over getting the wrong type of onions and she will cry when I am upset about something disrespectful and upsetting she said to me.

I used to push my emotions aside and focus on comforting her, make the bed, and do most of the heavy chores, and apart from the stress of my job, I think I am getting emotionally fatigued too. Her crying doesn’t elicit as much empathy in me, but I do try and make it look like I care about her when I absolutely would’ve put my foot down and ignored her if she wasn’t pregnant with my kid.

For example, just few days ago, I noticed a consistent pattern of our grocery bill increasing, probably because when I’m at work, she orders stuff online to get it delivered. I told her she needs to be able to regulate her cravings better and not let them get to her because we both don’t earn that much.

This seemed to piss her off and she started crying. This time, I didn’t even move. Yes, she’s the one who’s pregnant and her issues matter the most, but it has started to feel like her issues take up so much space that it leaves no room to discuss what bothers me because she will have another meltdown.

Look, I’m not against her, I want to work with her, but it feels like she isn’t meeting me. I’m emotionally fatigued and it seems that her unregulated emotions and crying never lead to any productive conversations or changes. And I’m tired.

So this time, rather than invest any more energy onto her, I simply said that I’ll come back to this conversation after she gets a grip, eases and calms down and has time to reflect on what I said vs. how she’s reacting. Because I never attacked her. I simply reminded her to be mindful of our budget.

I am not proud of my language and yes I was wrong for the “grip” comment but keeping in mind I was frustrated and at the end of my rope it was the kindest thing I could’ve said

She said I was being insensitive and treated her like a child. AITAH?

I 23f and my fiancé 23m went out to a club for one of our friend’s birthdays. The whole night I had felt a bad vibe and didn’t really want to go however I wanted to be a good friend and not ditch my friend on his birthday. Long story short I was dancing at one of the clubs with my friends while my fiancé and some other friends were sitting down. As I was dancing I felt someone grab me very aggressively on my butt. I turned around and began yelling at the guy one of his friends who he was with was also shocked that the guy grabbed me and agreed he saw his friend grab me. That is when the guy tried to act like he didn’t know his friend and attempt to sneak off. My fiancé saw I was upset but didn’t see the guy grope me. I told him what happened and all he did was stare at the guy. He didn’t do anything. He didn’t ask if I was okay or do anything to comfort me. When I realized he wasn’t going to do anything to help me I told one of the managers at the club and pointed the guy out. The guy tried to run away however I chased him and pushed him to block his path, that is when the manager caught up to us and kicked him out. I was very shaken by the events however I am more upset that I didn’t feel like my fiancé did anything to help comfort me. He has profusely apologized and admitted that he doesn’t know why he froze but I still feel terrible. On one end I would never want to put my fiancé in a situation where he would get hurt however I am hurt and shocked that he didn’t do anything. I am not expecting him to be a fighter but he could have done something.

My son recently graduated high school and while i am immensely proud of him, he is also very grounded. He thought it would be a funny prank to draw dicks and beards on his sisters (16 and 14) while they slept with a black skin dye which has been hell to get out. His sisters are beyond furious and I've never seen my wife so angry. He is in deeeeep shit and has lost all privileges including his prom and grad party (though he did attend his ceremony and we had a nice dinner)

I knew my mom planned on getting him a car (he drives an older car in my wife's name) and I was fine with it, but I thought she understood not right now. Well my mom showed up the other morning with his graduation gift and guess what it was, the fucking $80,000 car he didn't need to begin with and certainly doesn't deserve right now.

My wife was pissed and it was a slap in the face to my daughters. I asked her what she was doing and she said it was still his graduation. Then she told me we were mean for making him miss prom and his grad party as they are once in a lifetime events. My son was standing there beaming and I just felt so bad for my daughters. I asked her to take the car back and she said no it was his. She said what he did doesn't changed that he worked hard and we should be proud.

My wife was ready to lose it, so I told my mom to get off our property and that she is banned from our house for disrespecting my parenting. She isn't even going to be invited for his going away dinner in August before he leaves for college. Obviously my mom and son are pissed.

Please bare with me as I truly want to know if I'm overreacting or if my feelings are justified. My Husband and I share our laptop & tablet, depending where he's working that day as to which he'll take with him. So he brought the tablet in , this taking the laptop, I opened the tablet and upon starting it up I found that he'd added his messenger from his cellphone to the tablet. No big deal, I'd normally not look at his texts however when I started up the tablet there's a notification tile, from one of his old work friends that he tends to talk a lil raunchy with, his friend has responded to a text my Husband sent him, he said yes she's hot and you said she's into Lithuanians ( inside joke that let me know my husband bright up whomever the female was not visa versa) As you can imagine I opened it to see who they were talking about, much to my shear horror and disgust ( literally made me vomit) I see a revealing picture of my niece, whom I helped raise when she was younger, making her much like my own child. I will say this is both of our second marriages so while he wasn't present when she was young, he still knows how I feel about her, not to mention that just the fact that he's 50 and she's in her 20's makes it creepy enough but honestly knowing my spouse was looking at her pics with that mind frame and then passing the picture on and trash talking about her is just gross !

I will cut to the chase, cause I hate all these lengthy posts with lots of unnecessary details.

Me, my wife and our daughter got invited by a couple we hang out with for a BBQ at their house. We were the only guests. We knew they are going through rough time in their marriage, but the guy assured me that they are not fighting anymore and that it seems that they are on good terms. Also, out kids really like each other and missed each other, so we decided to go.

Well, the guy's wife was very distant and quiet all the time, but she said she didn't have good sleep last night due to heat. Anyway, a few drinks forward, she went to the kitchen with my missus and me and her husband were left alone . That's when he confessed to me that he hired a private investigator and found out that his wife has had a full blown affair for months, when she told him it was just an ONS. The guy was clearly agitated and started winding himself up. When his wife came back he started making remarks towards her about infidelity, asked my missus if she wants to buy his wife's car cheap cause she's going have to sell it to afford a divorce attorney etc. Each comment was more and more snarky towards her, to the point he started openly calling her a whore, idiot etc. At this point she run back to the house in tears.

That's when I decided that I have enough of this "entertainment" and asked my missus to get an Uber cause we are going back home. She said that we should stay to make sure that this guy doesn't do anything stupid. My response was that I don't care about their business, I wanted to have a nice Saturday BBq, not witness or be a part of a family drama. And hell no I'm not letting my daughter witness this shit. Eventually I called an Uber and we went back home. However, my missus said that we should have stayed and I should have intervened to calm this guy down to make sure that the wife and their kids are safe. So am I the asshole for choosing not to stay and not get involved any further?

Hear me out. I know how the title sounds.

My wife and I recently got married and unfortunately the reception turned to a shit show. For context my parents have a 10 year age gap and my father knew my grandfather and worked for him when my mom was in high school. They got together when she was 22 and he was 32 and no one thought anything of it.

Also my granddad lost his company about 20 years ago because of his own inappropriate behavior and the lawsuits he caused. The board forced him to step down but he wanted to keep it in the family so he had my dad take over with the board's approval. Ever since then he has seemed to resent my dad.

Anyway we had some family pictures on display because my wife saw the idea on Pinterest and wanted to celebrate all the different love stories. Well i guess my grandfather was really studying a picture of my mom and dad and realized she was 17 in the picture (there was PDA going on)

My grandfather then stormed into the reception and began yelling at my dad that he is a pedophile, a pervert, stole his company, etc. He was screaming about how he trusted him in his home and with his daughter.

My dad started yelling back about "she came onto me" "you let her drink alcohol so how was I supposed to know" (but then he fucked up and admitted he knew) My mom was trying to diffuse this. My dad then said my grandfather was a piece of shit father and he is just angry because my mom doesn't love him. At this point my grandfather swung at him and my dad knocked him down and said he wasn't going to fight an old man.

My grandfather then called my mom a whore and my dad went at him again. My mom dragged him out, but we were humiliated, and the day was ruined.

My dad did apologize to us and we decided to go no contact with my grandfather. After my dad apologized my wife was staring at my mom, and when my mom seemed confused she was like aren't you going to apologize. My mom said she didn't do anything. My wife snapped that she was a part of it.

My dad started getting mad at my wife saying my mom only tried to diffuse. My wife said my mom still needed to apologize and that their age gap is gross. I stepped in and said my mom does not need to apologize. Now my wife is angry with me

My wife (F43) and I (M44) have always been very open with each other, but for some reason until recently the topic of our first times had never came up. Well last night we were very drunk and in the midst of various conversations she ended up telling me that she lost her virginity when she was just 12 years old. I asked her if it had been with another kid and to my shock she told me no, that it had been with a 30 year old guy at the time. She was laughing about it but I was completely concerned by it and immediately asked her if she was serious and she said yes, mentioning that the age of consent in the Netherlands, where she's from, was 12 between 1990 and 2002. She laughed even louder at my baffled face and gave me the "I was very mature for my age" speech but I just couldn't hear it and told her we should sleep.

In the morning I asked her again about it and she doubled down on it, telling me that I was being a dick for acting like she was abused. She told me it was her life and that I was being patronizing. Am I in the wrong here?

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

Wife is 5 months pregnant. She was up at her feet today for an event duty and when she came home she asked for a foot massage.

I said sure, and she began relaxing on the couch and stretched her legs. As soon as she removed her shoes I was hit with a very foul smell from her socks and it got worse when she removed them as well. I don’t think she realised that she smelled bad until I told her.

I said, “hey babe, do you mind washing your feet first, let me get things ready”. She asked why I needed her to do that and I honestly and truthfully told her that they stink and it’s possible she can’t tell.

She looked at me with horror and started tearing up and very irritably told me that making her go and do something else for someone was the last thing she wanted to hear. I asked her what was wrong and she simply left the living room and locked the bedroom door to cry. I was confused at first, and then panicked thinking I made her feel ugly and unattractive. But then I reminded myself that she’s probably had a hard day and on top of that she was hormonal so this was an irrational reaction from her and didn’t take it personally. I figured she probably needed a minute to cool off and reflect on what just happened and she’ll eventually come around.

I was also a bit hurt because all I asked her was to wash her feet. So I was also upset at her reaction. Yes, I eventually stopped feeling hurt but in the moment I reminded myself that regardless of her feelings, I deserve kindness too. So I waited for 10 minutes and she didn’t come out. And I dozed right off on the couch.

Something to note, when I am lashed out at, by anyone, I simply refuse to care and use CBT techniques to practice indifference. As a child, when my parents or some bullies troubled me, I would gray rock, demonstrate indifference and that was my way of claiming my power back. It makes me feel strong and powerful when I use this technique to stop taking things personally. When my wife acted irritably to my reasonable request, it activated my trigger, which told me I was being bullied and acted accordingly.

I woke up next morning to a very angry and pissed off wife. She said she expected me to knock on the door and comfort her, and when I didn’t come it felt like I had abandoned her. I said I didn’t abandon her and explained how I didn’t take her personally and assumed she would calm down on her own and recognise she was being irrational. She is also extremely sensitive to the fact I used CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) technique to create a barrier against her and basically “made her out to be a bully.”

Now let me make it clear, I never told her she was a bully. I simply shared it with her why I didn’t give her the reaction she expected from me when she locked the bedroom door. My aim of sharing what I do (CBT) was to reach a mutual understanding of why I acted the way I did, and all it had to do was with me, and about my need for feeling in control of the situation and not let any external stimulation affect my mental peace.

This didn’t make her happy. AITAH?

went to the beach yesterday with my husband, his buddy from work and his girlfriend. it was just a chill beach day, and after an hour of talking or so i decided to lay out. i was face down, and untied my bikini top bc i hate those weird strappy tan lines.

the girlfriend started making really snarky comments about me being a whore, and flashing her boyfriend, and told me tie it back up. i was really confused. it's not like i was actually topless or my nipples were exposed. i know that i def had some side boob showing, and i can understand why you wouldn't want your boyfriend staring, but that feels pretty tame to me when most of the other girls at the beach were also in thong bikinis, it's not like people are all that covered up at the beach.

i told her that if she'd given me a "hey girl, this makes me a little uncomfy and here's why" that i would have happily tied my top back up, but that she didn't have any right to slut shame me and then tell me what to do with my body.

she told me that was some of the most pathetic virtue signaling they ever heard, and they left about ten minutes later

aitah?

is it wrong for my boyfriend of a year to continuously go on his phone right after sex? like not even after care or anything? i’ve expressed to him multiple times how it makes me feel cheap, disrespected and like a hookup. in the beginning of our relationship i told him how much respect means to me and it just seems like the doesn’t respect me. he apologizes and says sorry and will never do it again but tonight he did it again so i got up and left. he chased me down until i would unlock my car door but i just left.

RE: just wanted to take some time and thank everyone for the kind words :) i’ve honestly had a hard night and feel in shock. this is my boyfriend who i love and want things to work out with, didn’t want to mention this either but im also pregnant so i don’t really care for the losers telling me im dramatic and shouldn’t have walked out. anyways going to talk to my boyfriend maybe tomorrow or whenever i feel like! thank you again 💞

My MIL is married to a man with very severe anger issues. Now to be clear she is in no way a victim. I have watched her rile him up to do her duty work, and he does not take his anger out on her. I feel very confident that there is no abuse going on as she seems to think what he does is funny and has even teased him during his fits (screaming, breaking things) He doesn't even get mad at her and can laugh it off. His whole voice and demeanor changes with her.

MIL's husband absolutely HATES my husband. They have had multiple physical altercations in which MIL had to get between them. As a result we are very low contact and MIL knows she has to keep him on a leash metaphorically when he is around us.

Well last time we got together MIL and I got into an argument, my husband made a not nice comment about MIL, and her husband became enraged and broke a chair. MIL did offer to pay for it, but I feel this is part of the problem. This man is a trust fund baby who has never worked for anything and doesn't value money. He acts this way because he has always been enabled to act this way. He crashed his sports car as a teen, daddy bought a new one. He smashes up someone's house as an adult, oh well he can just throw money at it.

I told MIL no she isn't getting out of this one with her rich husband's money. She needs to pay for it with her own money. MIL got mad and said his money is her money. i said it really isn't even if he lets her spend it. He has family money. She grew up verrrrry working class.

For background MIL hasn't worked since she met him. He prefers her not to as he goes on like 12 vacations a year and wanted a wife to travel with him. She was a SAHM for their two daughters, but SILs are both adults now, so really she is a housewife with a housekeeper.

I told MIL that if she is truly sorry, she would get a job, earn her own money, and pay me back. My husband says that is ridiculous. MIL refuses, and MIL's husband says I'm sexist and devaluing her raising their kids and that the money is "theirs"

I (30s f) have a lot of tattoos, most my body is covered.

My MIL (60s) moved in with me and my husband (30s) a few weeks ago.

Me and the MIL always butted heads but tolerated eachother enough for family get togethers, birthdays etc. She has always disapproved of how I look and dress, especially my tattoos and brings it up every chance she gets.

Well, a few days back she was picking up stuff in the living room and as I walking in I noticed she was bent over and her shirt was raised up. She has a badly done tramp stamp that looks almost as old as her.

Last night she was drinking and once again brings up my tattoos and how they look awful and doesn't know what her son sees in me etc. Normally I shut her out or change the topic but since seeing her little tramp stamp surprise I knew that I could throw it in her face. After she had said "I don't know what my son sees in you" I said back to her "I think I understand why your husband left, I'd leave too if I was hitting from behind and had to stare at the horrific art you have on your lower back". Her face went red and she left the room. Not long later my husband sends me a message and told me that I was an asshole for saying that to his mom and that she was extremely ashamed of that tattoo.

I spoke with a friend of mine and they thought she got what she deserved, my husband and MIL think I'm an AH. I don't think I am but I want to know what everyone else thinks, so reddit, AITA?

First off, some background. I work out of town and have to be away from my wife and daughter for weeks at a time. This particular time I was coming home and I showed up and my wife had taken our 3 year old to stay at her aunts. I was really looking forward to seeing her when I came home. The way my daughter runs up to me is my favorite thing in the world. When I came home and found out she wasn't here I was very clearly upset. My wife takes it as if I'm not happy to see her and that all I care about is seeing our daughter. That's not the case I look forward to seeing them both. Am i the asshole for being upset?

My niece (in law) decided to move out of state and leave everything behind to be with a guy she just met online. She blocked her parents, her friends, and her grandma. I was the only one she kept the communication with. She never had any issues with family/friends before this. Her grandma even gave her money for college. So I 44[F] flew to AZ to see her 19[F] and tried to convince her to come back and continue her studies next semester.

This did not go well as she thinks I am trying to intervene with her life. She said she's in love and this is her decision as an adult. The guy looks a bit older than her and looks like someone who is good at manipulation. I told her she might regret this decision and it is not too late to come home and go back to her old life. She got more mad and threatened to block me if I insist. At this point, I don't know what else to do.

My husband's brother (her uncle) thinks that I am over stepping and should just let her be. I have seen people in my own family make the same mistake and regret it in their mid 20s. I just thought I should try convincing her it was a bad decision. AITA?

Edit: The bf is 38[M] and I have a feeling she has been talking to him since she was a minor. On why I think he has been manipulating her -- he managed to convince her that she is better off using her college money to fund his business idea. Her family have said some things they regret like: You are acting stupid etc. and resulted to them getting blocked.

Okay, so after a long ass discussion, my wife has agreed to never talk to talk to her best friend she used to sleep with, she has put me above her whole friend circle, either she will join then without him, or she will refuse to join them if he is present, that was what I want and she agreed to it

But now I feel bad, for putting up such conditions, what happened was that, I asked her if she is disagrees with what I said, we can divorce, she refused, she says she's not doing that, in her words 'shes not losing me over stupidity'

Well I just said she can meet with them or him whenever she wants, but I must be present all the time whenever he is involved, I'm trying to find a middle ground, I told her, and she said yes, I told her I'm not being controlling and I'm just being protective, protective towards her and myself, and she agreed

So I am once again here for advice

Wife (39f) and I (40m) been married 8 years to each other and with each other for 15yrs+. 2 little kids with each other as well. As with other relationships sex is not exactly regular anymore tho it's amazing when we do do it.

I've always found shower sex to be more frustrating than amazingly enjoyable. Awkward angles, shower noise distracting, same position all the time, constant steam heat makes it much more difficult to finish than usual. Performance wise no issues just the finish.

So last night wife initiated in the shower and it was great for a time, about 10mins in she finished resoundingly and I felt like I wasn't going to. Rather than just carry on and risk hurting her which is usually what happens when it goes on a bit, still standing to attention I said I was OK didn't need to finish or carry on am glad she was able to finish gave her big kiss and we carried on washing up. Bear in mind she wanted to finish me was asking what I need what she can do.

Well after 1min maybe with the soap and her turned around against me I felt the regular twinge that it could happen quite quickly here, so I started stroking against her ass then slipped it back in for maybe 1-2mins and was finished.

Now I could see the look on her face after and today as well. She feels like I went too far and the surprise of round 2 took her really unexpectedly. She feels I was very much in the wrong for doing that and finishing. Her Attitude kinda make me feelin like a massive perv and creep. At first I was very apologetic like what have I done, mood kinda sucky when it was supposed to be feeling good.

After sleeping on it now I'm like hang on were we not still in the alloted sex window?

So AITA for 'restarting' without explicit permission right after she'd finished and once I've declared I'm done?

I (24F) recently went out to dinner with a group of friends to celebrate my birthday. There were six of us, including my friend “Anna” (25F), who has a reputation for being a bit of a freeloader.

I had made a reservation at a nice restaurant, and I told everyone ahead of time that I’d cover the cost of the appetizers and dessert as a thank you for celebrating with me. I made it clear that they’d need to pay for their own main courses and drinks.

Everything was going smoothly until it was time to order. Most of my friends picked reasonably priced items, but Anna decided to go all out and ordered the most expensive steak on the menu. It was almost double the price of what everyone else was ordering. I was a bit taken aback but didn’t say anything at the moment.

When the bill came, I paid for the appetizers and dessert as promised, and everyone started to chip in for their mains and drinks. Anna, however, just sat there and didn’t contribute. I politely asked her for her share, and she said, “Oh, I thought you were treating us since it’s your birthday!”

I reminded her that I was covering only the appetizers and dessert, not the main courses. She got really upset and said that since I was the one who invited everyone, I should be paying for everything. I stood my ground and told her that wasn’t the agreement and that it wasn’t fair for her to order something so expensive expecting me to cover it.

The rest of my friends backed me up, but Anna left in a huff without paying her share. Now, she’s been badmouthing me to our mutual friends, saying I embarrassed her and ruined the night.

So, Reddit, AITA for refusing to pay for my friend’s expensive meal?