r/SipsTea • u/Icy-Book2999 Fave frog is a swing nose frog • 5d ago

Urinal Code of Ethics Chugging tea

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From https://youtube.com/shorts/71nfLPeczgc?si=k6XoM6jfES21CXGw

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u/-SandorClegane- 5d ago

Exactly.

Just like when you see a kid at the urinal (with or without his dad/male guardian) and the kid's pants are around his ankles. It's a normal thing that happens in a public restroom. Do not acknowledge it and do not make eye contact with either party.

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u/Last_Gigolo 5d ago

Years ago, I was at the permit office in Houston. Fair size building. Couple hundred people there every hour or so.

Dude walks into the restroom to the urinal and drops his pants and just lets them soak in the dribble puddle.

Pulled them up and walked out. I finished and washed up, and wouldn't you know it, he's at the elevator holding the door for me. I took the stairs. That pee was from pockets to ankles. He might as well have just peed on himself instead of wasting a trip downstairs.

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u/FarquaadsFuckDoll 5d ago

Every day I try and find the grossest thing on reddit to send to my friend and you just helped me complete my search. Thank you.

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u/AwarenessPotentially 5d ago

Knocking off early, eh?

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u/Sc4r4byte 5d ago

Depends on the time zone and hours of operation

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u/ShidsP 5d ago

Ha! Heh heh

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u/ConstantLight7489 5d ago

No shit! Mission accomplished friend

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u/joe-clark 5d ago

When I was a freshman in college I remember this one kid in the dorm would walk down to the bathroom wearing socks and no shoes on his feet. I remember making an involuntary noise of disgust when I first saw him doing it, just buy a cheap pair of slides bro.

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u/FarquaadsFuckDoll 5d ago

I also just made an involuntary noise of disgust. Thank you!

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u/metalshoes 5d ago

They really be out there

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u/Peach_Plz 5d ago

Subscribed 

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u/SouthernAd421 5d ago

I can do better. I was in a restroom at work once and we have these small shelves as you enter. On the shelf was a coffee cup and a sandwich, no plate or napkin, just a sandwich on a shelf. As I am standing in front of a urinal, I hear a dude in the first cabin rip off some TP, pull his pants up, flush the toilet, and then walk out, pick up his coffee and sandwich and just walk out. I almost threw up when I saw that.

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u/Nochnichtvergeben 5d ago

I'll help you out.

This one time I woke up and my mother's dog was eating his vomit from his crate. There was dog shit in the vomit. The worst thing was that I didn't know how many times the dog had eaten his own vomit with shit in it. His breath reeked of shit vomit for the rest of the day.

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u/itsa_me_ 4d ago

What was yesterday’s?

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u/Cool-Sink8886 5d ago

To everyone reading this: if you contribute to the pee puddle you need to get checked by a doctor.

Split-stream or occasional dribble are fine, or if you’ve held it a long time you’ll get lower pressure.

Regular dribble and low water pressure is worth investigating.

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u/Houyhnhnm776 5d ago

Just opened Reddit glad I saw your comment. It gave me a good chuckle, brought me back down to the nasty ground to touch grass & remind me that there’s still savage barbarians amongst us! Who needs to be cleansed from this land. barbaris mors imperator salvete!

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u/Dizzy_Bit6125 5d ago

Ew oh my god

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u/insertwittynamethere 5d ago

Gave me a great laugh reading this. I'd have done the same thing and taken the stairs.

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u/matthew_py 5d ago

What a terrible day to be literate.

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u/hummelpz4 4d ago

I remember going to a huge concert at Cleveland stadium. Went to piss and there was a dude passed out laying in a half inch of piss.

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u/rotj37 4d ago

We knew a guy in our office that would go to the restroom in his socks. Left two foot shaped dry spots under the urinal every time. That's lived rent free in my head for 10 years.

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u/PainkillerTony 4d ago

this has to become a new copy pasta

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/No_Koala_475 5d ago

I still pee like this and I'm 36. I appreciate your respect to my privacy.

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u/luk__ 5d ago

I look at your pee pee

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u/Mule_Fritters 5d ago

Nice watch.

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u/thisguynamedjoe 5d ago

This is also a joke made at the urinal, but NEVER by strangers... which has also happened to me. Appropriate response? Polite acknowledgment of the joke and immediately ignore.

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u/MysticalPengu 5d ago

“Thanks, you should see my cock” I mean if they lookin they better look at it all

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u/MK-801 5d ago

that's the joke, he's already seen it mate haha

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u/UncomprehensiveTruth 5d ago

I went to a urinal with a classmate and I did the same joke:
- I see your pee-pee...
My classmate was like
- Bro, I didn't even pull it out, how...
All the other urinal users turned their heads.

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u/scumotheliar 5d ago

Nah, standing at the urinal, especially if you're one of those people that do a little shiver when you pee. Shiver, then say jeez that waters cold.

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u/urGirllikesmytinypp 5d ago

I haven’t had anyone compliment my watch at the urinal since I was 15. Odd because I wasn’t wearing a watch that day.

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u/Jesuscide 5d ago

Come here often

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u/Disazzt3rD3m0nD4d 5d ago

IS THAT YOUR FUCKING DICK!?!?

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u/Healthy_Award906 5d ago

Pee pee rating?

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u/luk__ 5d ago

2.5 / 10

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u/RabbitOrcaHawkOrgy 5d ago

It's a grower, not a shower!

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u/PoIIux 5d ago

Well then quit showing it to everyone

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u/RabbitOrcaHawkOrgy 5d ago

But then what would I do with my raincoat?

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u/NateDawgCinema 5d ago

Well most would call that a Golden Shower.

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u/Glimmertwinsfan1962 5d ago

Good one! Make that excellent!

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u/Cmmander_WooHoo 5d ago

Solid stream 10/10

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u/Mistrblank 5d ago

I miss those days.

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u/urGirllikesmytinypp 5d ago

Now they call me sprinkler

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u/fat-lip-lover 5d ago

I don't hear any noise... Hey this guy's not pissing, he's just holding his wiener!

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u/AgileArtichokes 4d ago

Look as much as you want, but after a few seconds i start charging. 

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u/tuskvarner 5d ago

Me play joke

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u/fatalicus 5d ago

Is that you, Joe Wilkinson?

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u/zxc123zxc123 5d ago

Reminds me of a time when that did happen.

I was pissing into a urinal at a restaurant. The restroom had 3 urinals but they were on opposite sides so no one is close to anyone.

This one guy walked over while I'm pissing but I ignored him and pissing with 2 hands occupied. Then from the back at my 5 o'clock position moves to the 3 and looks directly at my dick with his head near my shoulder.

At this point, I was pretty upset because they had clearly gone beyond acceptable social boundaries so I took 1 hand off and pushed him away with a "WTF". In retrospect, it was awkward AF since I have left hand on dick, right hand free, and body halfway bent trying to finish my piss with a huge scrawl on my face.

Anyways, the moment I locked eyes with the guy I calmed down and by the time I started washing my hands I was feeling a bit bad. Dude was literally mentally disabled. Not sure what. Maybe down syndrome or autism? Anyways, their mom was outside the restroom waiting for them.

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u/Upper-Belt8485 4d ago

I touch it

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u/rum-and-roses 5d ago

I fully strip apart from socks

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u/FloppieTheBanjoClown 5d ago

You know you're in for a good poopin when the shirt comes off. 

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u/rum-and-roses 5d ago

Oh no the striping is for pissing for pooping I get into a sunbed in a lycra bodysuit that's just too small

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u/Ass_Salada 5d ago

Oh shit dude, do you live near Phoenix? Im pretty sure I saw you at the taco bell on 7th Ave, like 4 years ago. Nice cock btw

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u/rum-and-roses 5d ago

Thanks it took a lot of carving to make it scar like that

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u/awesomefutureperfect 5d ago

It's weird that you pee directly on them.

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u/rum-and-roses 5d ago

How do you keep your warts happy

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u/PrintableDaemon 5d ago

Yeah, I do the prison piss too. Never know when you're gonna need to run and you don't wanna trip over those pants around your ankles man.

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u/RabbitOrcaHawkOrgy 5d ago

As long as you raise your shirt with both hands, we're good

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u/No-Suspect-425 5d ago

Dang Butters is 36 already?

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u/Repulsive_Steak3891 5d ago

Butters’ show age is 11 and he debuted in 1997 so he’s closer to 38.

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u/LostMyAccount69 5d ago

I expected a response that made me feel old but nah, I'm younger than the south park kids. :)

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u/MyNameIsJakeBerenson 5d ago

I would feel weird but I was their age when it started and I just turned 38 so it’s whatever

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u/Antenol 5d ago

Lu lu lu

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u/North-Soft-5559 5d ago

I wouldn't risk my trousers being so close to the floor Especially in some public bathrooms

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u/MainWooden1722 5d ago

Honestly, a power move. Thay way nobody wants to piss next to you. Win win

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u/uppers00 5d ago

If you’re 36 doing this at least 1 guy who walks in notices that absolute thumper you got on you before realizing and then looking away.

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u/MyNameIsJakeBerenson 5d ago

I got an apple, loo loo loo

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u/BhagwanBill 5d ago

I work with a guy who does this and he's your age.

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u/usinjin 5d ago

Was that you in the airport last week?

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u/SirTopham2018 4d ago

My kid saw a guy pissing like this once and gives me the best WTF look. Even a nine year old knew it was weird.

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u/No_Koala_475 4d ago

I'm wearing a shirt and a knee high socks though

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u/Imaginary_Doughnut27 5d ago

That’s a level 6, also easy. Hold it, walk around for 5 min come back and try again.

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u/Tournament_of_Shivs 5d ago

Is there another way?

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u/xTrainerRedx 5d ago

Butters?

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u/purplemartin69 5d ago

Loolooloo

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u/TummyDrums 5d ago

Technically we can't see your ass anyway through all the hair. No harm, no foul.

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u/mywan 5d ago

What kind of belt buckle is that?

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u/WeimSean 5d ago

We're all brothers in there my man. Just don't look at my dick more than once.

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u/Antenol 5d ago

Lu lu lu

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u/bellj1210 5d ago

my wife hates that i do this to poo at home- it just gets so hot.

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u/whythishaptome 5d ago

I have a coworker that doesn't pull them all the way down to show his butt but does pull them down as far as possible and doesn't direct the flow. Maybe he just doesn't want to touch his own penis. Also I think he should get checked out because he seems to be going to the bathroom a lot. Like when I rarely go he seems to always be in there.

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u/IGargleGarlic 5d ago

thats a pretty solid stream you got going there buddy

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u/ASL4theblind 5d ago

🎶Lou lou lou! Lou lou lou🎶

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u/Monsieur_Creosote 5d ago

You're grounded Butters!

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u/Wow-can-you_not 5d ago

Feels good man

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u/disengagesimulators 5d ago

You can't squat in the toliet like your teammates?

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u/altruism__ 5d ago

Nah, pedo

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u/cat_in_the_wall 5d ago

nice watch.

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u/Connect_Wallaby3025 5d ago

ok butters, "lululu , I've got some apples, lululu you have some too"

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u/SeaTurtlesAreDope 5d ago

Feel good man

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u/3-orange-whips 5d ago

/points

He has a penis.

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u/RWeaver 5d ago

Power move.

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u/DoubleGreat 4d ago

Definitely a power move. You probably keep eye contact the entire time you goddam chad, you

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u/istillambaldjohn 5d ago edited 5d ago

100% then there is the secret stances of others.

The “Peter Pan” feet wide apart, head staring at the wall in front, both fists at your hips, no hands on the unit controlling the flow. Also known as “the Superman”

The “Zombie” no hands as well but hands loosely to just to your sides and looking down

The “little teapot” is most common. One hand controlling business, one hand on the hip. Head either staring down or straight ahead

The “Prisoner” rare,…..but happens. Staring straight ahead. No hands controlling flow but both hands behind their back

The “Toddler” yes, very very rare but grown adults also has pants and chonies down to ankles and bare ass at a urinal. (Always assume special needs. Do your best to ignore)

The “crossing guard” usually in the morning at urinals. One hand controlling business, and one hand on the wall in front of them sorta stabilizing them from falling?

The “barking spider” VERY common for dudes to fart midstream. Especially restaurants where they are holding it in during a date.

I know I’m missing some. But I’ve just find them amusing when I noticed.

Edit. “The Barking Spider” honestly was called “The Bradley Craig” (sorry Brad, really is a lovely guy and miss working with him). Just a guy I use to work with. Larger fellow, but good lord,…..dude bellowed a like a tuba that you could hear outside the restroom when peeing and always said “excuse me,…clearing my throat” when witnessing first hand.

Double edit.

I know the right there, their, and they’re and am pretty consistent. I occasionally use affect vs effect inappropriately. But I regularly butcher strait vs straight.

Thank you stranger grammar Nazi. I too get stuck and cannot really see past some things and lose the entire context of the message over something so simple most others can look past.

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u/-SandorClegane- 5d ago

This list is pretty comprehensive. You've done quite well, in my humble opinion.

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u/istillambaldjohn 5d ago

Forgot “the golfer” more common than the little teapot. Both hands controlling flow, looking down concentrating

I’m more of a modified golfer. Staring strait ahead to concentrate on anything but the fact that there are others next to me, and a line of people wanting to use the urinal. So just staring blankly at whatever is in front of me. Usually day dreaming about what it took to build the wall and its finishes to distract myself.

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u/Grumpy0ldMillennial 5d ago

One hand on top of another or interlocking fingers lol

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u/istillambaldjohn 5d ago

I just pee with one glove on.

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u/Laconic-Verbosity 5d ago

Why weren’t you Azor Ahai?

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u/Vindepomarus 5d ago

I fell like the "crossing guard" is most common later in the evening at a pub/club.

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u/istillambaldjohn 5d ago

Initially I called it the “Nazi” but, joke didn’t land broadly

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u/cochin1504 5d ago

Agreed, I don't know how the crossing guard could come into play by the time you could get to a urinal. I've done it myself half asleep at home. But by the time your out in the world, it doesn't make much sense. Until you're at a pub at night.

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u/Houyhnhnm776 5d ago

Wheres the one where you power piss? I was at a theater seeing a John wick movie once and I drank SO MUCH, that when I got to the bathroom, I just unzipped put both hands on the wall and peed so hard into the urinal it splatters against the urinal wall and on to my white shirt. What’s the name for that one?

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u/istillambaldjohn 5d ago

The “Firemarshall Bill”

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u/chopin1887 5d ago

Your post put things in perspective. I’ve seen them all but didn’t know they had appropriate named identifier. Also humerus. I’m a changed man.

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u/istillambaldjohn 5d ago

Now go notice your own and add to the list.

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u/talk_to_yourself 5d ago

Is there a name for someone who, with one hand guiding their “lad”, sprays circles around the inside of the urinal? “The Catherine wheel” maybe?

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u/istillambaldjohn 5d ago

Well,….to be frank I don’t really pay attention to how people handle their bait and tackle, but in this case. I will call it “the raver” swinging around your own fleshy glowstick,……minus the glow,……hopefully.

Or maybe the “Jedi” if you make zhoom zhoom noises while doing it.

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u/welchplug 5d ago

Insanely accurate. I'm definitely a little pot kinda guy.

For those in the future looking at my browser history please look at the context of this comment lol.

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u/istillambaldjohn 5d ago

Honestly Little Teapot would be a great name for the opposite of a big and tall store. For the short and stout.

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u/MegaGrimer 5d ago

I once saw a guy have both hands on the wall in front of him. He did not seem drunk when I saw him outside of the restroom.

I was also at a rest stop once that looked like it hasn’t been cleaned in a year. A guy went in to use the urinal barefoot.

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u/istillambaldjohn 5d ago

What kind of fucking monster goes to a urinal barefoot?

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u/HungryDust 4d ago

I’ve seen the both hands in the wall too. Maybe we go with “the mime”?

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u/Telemasterblaster 5d ago

One hand controlling business, and one hand on the wall in front of them sorta stabilizing them from falling?

I reserve this one for when I'm five or six drinks into a night of real drinking and I'm in a really dirty restroom in a dirty dive bar with graffiti on the walls and I want to make sure I don't slip and fall in a puddle of urine.

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u/bellj1210 5d ago

i am sort of crossing guard/tea pot- in public i will often have my phone out while using the urinal.... weirly at my office it is the only place i get good reception- and the habit has bled out.

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u/istillambaldjohn 5d ago

I’ve always kind of been apprehensive about this. My own delusional paranoia thinking if someone walked in and saw my phone in one hand, they would think I’m taking a picture of my junk.

But I’m also GenX and more or less don’t use my phone all the time and find it weird thinking there is a more appropriate time to screw around online.

In a stall,…dedicated to doing other business,……Different story. I’ll scroll Reddit until I’m Bambi legged trying to stand up.

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u/Existential_Kitten 5d ago

yo this is HILARIOUS

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u/istillambaldjohn 5d ago

Thanks for the comment

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u/PrintableDaemon 5d ago

"The Prisoner" needs an update. Now it's more like, take at least one leg completely out of pants for emergency escapes, pee while you keep an eye out for that shiv.

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u/istillambaldjohn 5d ago

That is more,….The “Inmate”

Where pants are sagging well past the whole buttcheek, but there is another pair of basketball shorts under that and boxer briefs under those. Frantically trying to keep pants up while shorts down and through the boxer Hidey Hole to pee. It’s the Rubik’s cube of pissing.

At this point just go to a stall and pee sitting down.

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u/jalansing77 5d ago

Straight* not strait

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u/CriticalLobster5609 4d ago

The “crossing guard” usually in the morning at urinals. One hand controlling business, and one hand on the wall in front of them sorta stabilizing them from falling?

That's "the drunk," he just needs the room to stop spinning long enough to get this rental water returned. "You buy the beer, but you rent the water."

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u/JTP1635 4d ago

Lmao

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u/Substantial_Ad1714 4d ago

How about resting your forehead on the wall in front of you.

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u/Puzzleheaded-Sun1140 4d ago

You need to add the one where the guy pops up right next to you and slams his hand into the wall above the urinal and grunts like it’s the first time he’s taken a piss in 50 years

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u/hashedmotatoes 4d ago

The 'multi-tasker', drinking their beer or texting The 'flamingo', standing on one leg (ok, haven't seen this, yet) The 'poor planner', starts, but after a few seconds moves to a stall

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u/Ser_VimesGoT 1d ago

My personal favourite is Earth Song. With vocals.

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u/StandOutLikeDogBalls 1d ago

We need a poster with a list and description of all postures above the urinals. I’d go in and treat it like a game.

Maybe have a trophy board for completers and MVPs in there as well.

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u/Gr00mpa 5d ago

I recently got my kid to stop peeing with his pants around his ankles.

At last, I’ve taught him all there is to know.

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u/gtizzz 5d ago

How old?

I'm struggling with my six year old. I got him to do it on a hike the other day, but I feel like he would have peed all over himself if I wasn't there. He's super smart, but he isn't the most physically gifted kid, so aim and body control are not a strong suit.

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u/Gr00mpa 5d ago

I think I did it when he was six. Not long before he turned 7. He was kind of proud of himself, and he later called my attention at another urinal like: "See! I didn't bring my pants all the way down!"

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u/confusedandworried76 5d ago

He's basically ready to be president now

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u/ieatassHarvardstyle 4d ago

Doesn't require a diaper, he's overqualified.

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u/RequiemOfTheSun 4d ago

And Alexander wept for there were no more lands to conquer

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u/ThexxxDegenerate 4d ago

The easy fix is to just sit to pee. Idk if most guys have noticed but when you pee at a urinal, especially when you have a strong stream, pee splashes out everywhere. This includes when you pee into a regular toilet, piss splashes everywhere. The only remedy is to just pee sitting down.

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u/Tall_Action_1006 5d ago

Snickering during loud poops IS allowed FYI

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u/WanderlustFella 5d ago

Do not acknowledge it and do not make eye contact with either party

People that talk to you while you pee are weird. I have a friend who has no boundaries that will do this while at like a sports game or some event where going to the bathroom with a friend is more unavoidable. Its a natural thing to do when it's halftime to go as a group to the bathroom. So we are peeing in a crowded restroom he'll be next to me talking about a play during the game or something. I look forward and go into a Zen like state and ignore everything around me while he out there yappin. Other than that, he's a good friend.

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u/-SandorClegane- 5d ago

People that talk to you while you pee are weird.

Here's the thing...

I won't ever be the one to initiate conversation, but if someone strikes up a chat with me, I'm fine with it. That said, it's usually an older guy at a Cracker Barrel or something when it happens.

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u/Laser_Fish 5d ago

Those Cracker Barrel bathrooms are notorious.

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u/StronglyAuthenticate 4d ago

"That ice tea just goes right through, doesn't it?"

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u/Cazed_Donfused 5d ago

Women have no idea the shit we see and have to deal with in the men’s restroom.

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u/Dead_Or_Alive 5d ago

Naaa, I cleaned restrooms as a teenager. Men’s restrooms are tame. Women’s restrooms look like they are used by uncivilized savages who have never been indoors.

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u/mentive 5d ago

My god, I almost barfed so many times cleaning the women's restroom many years ago when I worked at a Walgreens for six months.

Never did I realize...

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u/ISTBU 5d ago

I was in the Air Force but had to wait for a polygraph before I could start working my real job - so in the mean time my "casual" job was to staff the desk at the base gym. Fucking great time, except for cleaning the women's bathrooms every night.

There are some women out there with SERIOUS fucking issues if their behavior in a gym restroom is any indication as to the rest of their life.

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u/Kahlil_Cabron 5d ago

Oh ya if we're talking about which is more disgusting, the women's restroom every time. One of my first jobs was cleaning office buildings at night when I was a teenager, and in the men's room the worst you got was piss on toilet seats and that was about it.

In the women's restroom, not only was there 10x more piss on the toilet seats, there was sometimes shit, there were tampons and pads (used) stuck to the walls of the stalls sometimes, there was diarrhea sprayed all over the back wall behind the toilet sometimes. The toilets would sometimes look like someone purposely fisted it with handfuls of toilet paper (you know how hard it is to clog those industrial toilets?). Tampons clogging up the toilets (why would you flush one???).

A few times I found little messages written in blood. The ground around the toilet was always littered with piss covered toilet paper, or toilet paper with brown stuff on it (50% chance it's old blood, 50% chance it's shit, who knows).

FUCK I hated that job.

But if we're talking about restroom etiquette, the men's room probably seems like a jungle, but it's actually not that gross. I immediately knew the answer to all of the questions in this video because it's just instinct.

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u/Bearking422 4d ago

Was a janitor at a local university and the women's room was always worse to clean than the dudes and the fng smell🤢

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u/critter68 4d ago

Oh, God. The smell.

Former Walmart porter (janitor+)

You expect it to smell like piss and shit.

What it actually smells like is piss, shit, rotting blood, and unwashed vagina with a vague haze of a hundred different perfumes used in an attempt to cover the other smells.

And it all ends up in this horrid stench that burns your nose and eyes.

I'd rather be pepper sprayed once a week than ever enter a women's public restroom again

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u/RaygunMarksman 5d ago

I experienced the same consistently back in the day. It's like they try to hose those seats all the way down and apply paper products to everything wet in the vicinity so there's glued down piss paper everywhere. And then you've got the blood splats and weird, inappropriate disposal of feminine hygiene products. Nah, man.

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u/Dead_Or_Alive 4d ago

I didn’t touch anything with my hands, I just used a mop to clean everything. Floor… mop, toilet seat…mop, walls…mop, sink…mop, etc. etc. dust bin for everything else that needed to be scooped up.

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u/ForThisIJoined 4d ago

In a non-hygiene issue men have it worse...

Have you ever had to use a trough style urinal? No barrier, no individual unit, just one large steel bin with men bumping shoulders pissing into it.

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u/IDontThereforeIAmNot 5d ago

When I was 4-5 can’t remember exactly, I was at the drive in movie theater with my family and I had to piss. The men’s room was a wall length trough, i being all of three feet tall made the mistake of looking down the line. It was shoulder to shoulder dicks. Like twenty dudes and a waterfall of piss and dicks. Scarred for life

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u/Pretend-Guava 5d ago

I was introduced to this at a young age as well at wrigley field. Seen way too many dicks at a early age.

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u/DethFist 5d ago

Ah yes, a classic. There used to be a smell to Wrigley on a hot day, like a combo of piss, peanuts, beer and sweat. Haven't been in years, maybe it's better now?

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u/Evening_Clerk_8301 4d ago

Uh. You’ve never seen a women’s rest room. It’s a fucking war crime. Source: i used to clean bathrooms for work.

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u/xdcountry 5d ago

Also no talking or sounds that shouldn’t be uttered. Even if you had a prior conversation with an individual entering the bathroom area with you (at the same time)— yeah, that convo is paused until you’re both outside.

No eye contact in the mirrors or anywhere in the process either

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u/asfoamsharpensiron 5d ago

No joke, I walked in to the work bathroom and my coworker, who’s a manager in his late 40s, was at the urinal like this. I ran into a stall and hoped he didn’t see who I was.

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u/Tiny-Lock9652 5d ago

“Keep your eyes on the road, buddy!”

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u/tissboom 5d ago

Peeing with your pants down at a urinal is a right of passage. It means you made it to the big time.

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u/SNYDER_BIXBY_OCP 5d ago

I go into a stall if I see that bc I don't need any "misunderstandings"

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u/KevinIsOver9000 5d ago

So is it just me or does anyone else see old dudes doing this too. It’s rare but I’ve seen it enough to know it wasn’t just one freak incident

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u/Lou_C_Fer 5d ago

The first time my son used a urinal, I was using the adult one next to hjm. Honestly, I was having a bad dad day because all I did was point and tell him to pee in "that thing". So, I'm peeing and l look over to him. Turns out he was too short for the kid's urinal, even. That poor kid was on his tippy toes with his penis stretched upwards over the lip, across it, and then he nanaged to get the very tip pointed downwards.

I think my eyes popped out of my head like in the cartoons. When I say stretched, I mean stretched. Probably as far as that poor kid could manage. I told him stop immediately and had him just use a regular toilet. That was at least 18 years ago, and I still feel awful.

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u/Folkaxoid 5d ago

Once I walked into a Buc-ee's bathroom and saw a kid hitting that move, while holding his shirt all the way up past his chest. I averted my eyes to the right just to see that his dad was right next to him, doing exactly the same thing! Some of the funniest shit I've ever seen in my life to this day.

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u/bunga7777 4d ago

Getting 1.8k upvotes on a comment that starts with “when you see a kid at the urinal” is a great feat.

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u/Calpernia09 4d ago

I am a mom of 4, 3 girls and a little boy.

He's almost 7. He has wanted to go into the men's room alone at church.

I always worry he's one of those kids. Lol.

There are 2 stalls and a couple urinals, so he usually goes into a stall and doesn't close the door. 🤨.

I love my little dude.

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u/Apex_Regular 5d ago

What about when you see a grown man in a toilet stall with the door open with his pants around his ankles leaning like 35° over the toilet pissing? I still haven't figured that one out.

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u/PerfectLogic 5d ago

Odds are he's too fat to see over his gut. So he leans forward to piss knowing the angle of the dangle will sort things out. As for the pants around the ankles that could just be a style choice but I like to imagine he's not coordinated enough to both lean AND hold up his pants at the same time. Also, if you're drinking it feels good to lean sometimes lol

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u/thunder_jam 5d ago

Uh nobody taught that in my elementary school I guess. I remember there was a kid who had cerebral palsy and because of that always had his pants around his ankles at the urinal, and one day another kid hauled off and smacked him on the ass while he was trying to do his business.

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u/jccw 5d ago

And stay away from that kid. Pissing outside, waiting for another urinal at the other end, or the old “oh I actually have to do a 2” are all way preferable to standing near a little Mr. Pooh you don’t know.

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u/klezart 5d ago

I've only seen this once, when I was in middle school, and it blew my mind that people did that. I still did not acknowledge or make eye contact, of course.

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u/AWeakMindedMan 5d ago

And always look above shoulder line. I’m always looking up or directly in front of me.

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u/GusGreen82 5d ago

I saw a grown ass man the other day with his pants below his butt cheeks.

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u/Pretend-Guava 5d ago

Always the straight ahead stare at the wall in front of you, you don't want to get caught taking a peek over.

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u/UnnamedStaplesDrone 5d ago

I still remember, as a 10 year old my best friend pulling this move (he was also 10). i was shocked lmao but obviously didn't say anything.

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u/Drfanfair 5d ago

Bruh you’re tripping if I see a kid in the bathroom and I walk in I walk right tf out and wait until little dude is done. Ain’t no way ima be alone in a bathroom with some strangers kid

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u/antarcticacitizen1 5d ago

Years ago I'm in the grocery store with my 3 boys...they had two of the old school 1950's wall mounted to the floor porcelain urinals. Youngest is about 3 or 4. Brothers are 6 & 8. Each urinal has a puck at the drain. One is pink. One is blue. Youngest had to pee really bad when we were in the line so I say to older brother, take him in there and I'll be right behind you in a minute. I come in little guy says " Hey dad look at these cool walls you can pee on in here. They even have one for boys and one for girls so K***** (baby sister) can go too when she grows up and can can stand to pee on stuff like us!"

Much laughter. Yeah kid, not how that works but nice of you to think about your little sister and all the fun she can have peeing on stuff too...

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u/Prime4Cast 5d ago

The men's bathroom is just like the men's locker room. Eyesight above 90 degrees from the floor.

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u/Ok-Distribution6706 5d ago

No use the urinal beside them to assert dominance(also with cheeks out

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u/Icy_Day_9079 4d ago

One of the early Jackass or CKY vids had one of the guys do the full pants down at the urinal. It was in a club and literally no one acknowledged it.

“There are no chicks out there tonight.”

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u/ThePopeofHell 4d ago

I’d just go in the stall

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u/CriticalLobster5609 4d ago

My Dad and BIL are at Angels stadium for a Cleveland Indians game. Long lines at the urinals. They're about 8 back, guy sidles up next to my BIL, ankle drops trou and underwear and stands there and waits. The seas part quickly as other people see wtf is up and he's up to bat with in a minute. My BIL later "I don't know if his elevator went to the top floor or if he was the smartest one in there with how fast he got to the front of the line. He certainly wasn't shy."

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u/uCockOrigin 4d ago

The correct move is to also drop your pants to your ankles.

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u/Aside_Dish 4d ago

I've always wondered if there are any adults who still do this. So, in one of my superhero screenplays, the first scene is this jacked superhero at a urinal with his pants to the ground.

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u/bardnotbrad 4d ago

Recently i was at a Dave and busters, there were 4 urinals (3 regular and one kid height) and 3 stalls, the kid urinal was out of order, there were 5 people waiting for the stalls, I pissing at one of the regular urinals and a kid who was maybe 5 came up to me and asked if I could hold him up so he could pee since he was there with his mom, I awkwardly said no (didn’t want to get in trouble seemed very dicey at best) and the kid did full pants down, stood 5 feet from urinal and arced that shit in

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u/kittenstixx 4d ago

My 4yo will do it proper at home, ive seen this motherfucker pull just the front of his pants down to pee, yet EVERY GODDAMN TIME he's in public his pant go to his ankles. Drives me nuts.

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u/EnkiRise 4d ago

I had a buddy in the military and when we had to do a pee test for drugs there is someone in the room with you. So what he would do is go in there and drop his pants all the way down to his ankle and then pee lol

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u/Ariovrak 4d ago

I went to a baseball game a couple days ago, and in the bathroom, a random guy looked across the trough in the middle of the room to the other side, with another trough, and loudly proclaimed to the shy person on the other end “you look another man in the eye when you piss”.

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u/BeagleBackRibs 4d ago

My friend does this as an adult for laughs 😂

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u/poocoup 4d ago

Especially when it's a grown man and not a kid

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u/HelgaWitDaSkidmarks 4d ago

pants are around his ankles

When the bathroom is empty, I still do this. But if I hear footsteps approaching, I absolutely have the decency to toss an arch in my posture, so that I don’t look like I have Hank Hill ass