Urinal Code of Ethics

[u/Icy-Book2999]

From https://youtube.com/shorts/71nfLPeczgc?si=k6XoM6jfES21CXGw

[u/istillambaldjohn]

100% then there is the secret stances of others.

The “Peter Pan” feet wide apart, head staring at the wall in front, both fists at your hips, no hands on the unit controlling the flow. Also known as “the Superman”

The “Zombie” no hands as well but hands loosely to just to your sides and looking down

The “little teapot” is most common. One hand controlling business, one hand on the hip. Head either staring down or straight ahead

The “Prisoner” rare,…..but happens. Staring straight ahead. No hands controlling flow but both hands behind their back

The “Toddler” yes, very very rare but grown adults also has pants and chonies down to ankles and bare ass at a urinal. (Always assume special needs. Do your best to ignore)

The “crossing guard” usually in the morning at urinals. One hand controlling business, and one hand on the wall in front of them sorta stabilizing them from falling?

The “barking spider” VERY common for dudes to fart midstream. Especially restaurants where they are holding it in during a date.

I know I’m missing some. But I’ve just find them amusing when I noticed.

Edit. “The Barking Spider” honestly was called “The Bradley Craig” (sorry Brad, really is a lovely guy and miss working with him). Just a guy I use to work with. Larger fellow, but good lord,…..dude bellowed a like a tuba that you could hear outside the restroom when peeing and always said “excuse me,…clearing my throat” when witnessing first hand.

Double edit.

I know the right there, their, and they’re and am pretty consistent. I occasionally use affect vs effect inappropriately. But I regularly butcher strait vs straight.

Thank you stranger grammar Nazi. I too get stuck and cannot really see past some things and lose the entire context of the message over something so simple most others can look past.

[u/-SandorClegane- → u/istillambaldjohn]

This list is pretty comprehensive. You've done quite well, in my humble opinion.

[u/istillambaldjohn → u/-SandorClegane-]

Forgot “the golfer” more common than the little teapot. Both hands controlling flow, looking down concentrating

I’m more of a modified golfer. Staring strait ahead to concentrate on anything but the fact that there are others next to me, and a line of people wanting to use the urinal. So just staring blankly at whatever is in front of me. Usually day dreaming about what it took to build the wall and its finishes to distract myself.

[u/Grumpy0ldMillennial → u/istillambaldjohn]

One hand on top of another or interlocking fingers lol

[u/istillambaldjohn → u/Grumpy0ldMillennial]

I just pee with one glove on.

[u/saturnx9 → u/istillambaldjohn]

Don’t actually complete the putting motion or you’ll piss off everyone around you.