r/AITAH • u/Few_Relative4595 • 5d ago

AITAH for ghosting my girlfriend after she nearly killed both of us?

So, my girlfriend (20f) and I (22m) have been together for a little over 10 months now. We haven't had any heated arguments or fights, except for the fact that she keeps tickling me randomly despite the fact that I've repeatedly told her to never do it again because I can act strangely to it (something from my childhood which I won't delve into).

Now to get to the current situation: this week I've had my car returned from a paint job and some major look changes and I was really satisfied with the results, so I took a day off from work and took my girlfriend on a short trip outside the city. We drove to a lake, ate some food and relaxed for a couple of hours until it got pretty dark and we decided to head back home to get some sleep as I had to go to work the next day and she had an exam. On the way home, I started talking about how happy I felt with how the paint job turned out and out of nowhere, she starts tickling me. I pushed her hand away and told her to stop, then she reached for my ribs with both hands and got me swerving off the road.

Thankfully, nobody was hurt (although my car got some deep scratches but that doesn't even matter anymore), as I already slowed down after her first attempt to tickle me. I'll admit that I told her "what the fuck is wrong with you" as soon as we stepped out of the car and she started crying, but I couldn't care less as I felt as if my veins were about to pop.
When we got home, I told her to pack her things and go to her best friend, but she threw a tantrum and begged me to forgive her for "a little mistake".

I didn't say a word, I simply stared in disgust and pointed to her luggage. After her friend picked her up, I tried to go to sleep but my mind was racing, so i barely got any rest. This happened on tuesday, and she's been blowing up my phone ever since, but I haven't answered any calls or texts and just blocked her. This led to her friend coming to my house and telling me to at least hear my girlfriend out, but I've told her to fuck off and leave me alone, which made her tell me that I'm more in love with a car than with my girlfriend.

So, AITAH in this situation? Should I talk to my girlfriend? I already feel like I can't trust her after what happened and that our relationship can't be fixed.

Update: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/55iHa59YgW

20.5k Upvotes

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3.7k

u/Content_Row_3716 5d ago

Who starts randomly tickling a driver?? This is insane.

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u/HoldFastO2 5d ago

There was a case years ago, in NJ I think. A few young people (college age?) driving home from the beach. The driver wore just a bikini top, and the guy sitting behind her thought it was funny to pull on the strings behind her neck. Her bikini fell open, she reflexively grabbed at the cups, and wrecked the car.

Several people dead, including the dumbass behind her.

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u/yourmomsgomjabbar 4d ago

I was curious, so I went looking and found this: https://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/court-driver-bikini-crash/2071993/

Looks like the civil case was from one of the survivors, multiple injuries but the only death was the guy who pulled the strings.

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u/Stinky_WhizzleTeats 4d ago

That’s always some weird irony when the cause of the crazy situation is the only one to die from it

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u/inuhi 4d ago

I much prefer those situations rather than where the only person to survive say a crash is the drunk driver responsible. Truly a tragedy, innocent lives lost and yet somehow they live forced to bear all that guilt, loss, and enmity. While they earned all those horrible feelings and consequences for their actions truly what they deserved is to have taken their place in the grave. I could only hope for a world so fair that only those who cause these crazy situations are the ones who have to suffer from them

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u/jlaw1791 4d ago

OP, your ex-gf is a dangerous fool. She could have killed you both, and innocents in other vehicles, and/or pedestrians, as well!

She needs to learn this lesson well, and your dumping her like this will be the best teacher.

NTA!

Tell anyone who will listen that you dumped her because she's dangerous and too immature to be in a relationship since she thinks it's appropriate to tickle a driver in a moving motor vehicle. That's deadly stupid.

You made the right choice, don't take it back!!

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u/TomatoTrebuchet 4d ago

and further proof is that she most likely lied to her friend about the situation. and isn't taking any responsibility for her actions. which to me says she's an incredible dangerous person. I won't be surprised if she ends up being fairly abusive.

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u/No_External_8816 3d ago

the other issue here: In a moment of happiness she apparently felt the need to bring him down

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u/Lower-Service-6171 4d ago

Bot?

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u/jlaw1791 3d ago

Don't be an ass.

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u/TheDunadan29 4d ago

Best outcome tbh. Well I mean no deaths is best. But the dumbass who caused it? That's some cosmic justice right there.

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u/My_Shattered_Dreams 4d ago

Karma carries a very big f-ing stick and hits you with it when u least expect.

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u/yourmomsgomjabbar 4d ago

It's like sunshine on your wedding day,
a free ride just before you would've paid,
It's the good advice you decided to take
Who would've thought, it's fitting?

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u/gcwardii 4d ago

Exactly. That’s not irony. It’s justice. Karma.

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u/Bhrutus 4d ago

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you

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u/Greedy_Effort5653 4d ago

It’s the green light when you’re already late, it’s like 10000 spoons when all you need is a knife. Meeting the man of your dreams and his beautiful wife. Who would’ve thought, it’s fitting!

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u/Grimstaffe 4d ago

The ironic thing about that song is that none of those things are an example of irony.

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u/originofescape94 4d ago

someone’s been listening to Alanis, lately.

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u/Mstinos 4d ago

This is a nice poem.

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u/kellsdeep 4d ago

First time exposed to it?

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u/Mstinos 4d ago

Yes it is, what is it from?

It s going to be some pop song isn't it?

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u/Scorp128 4d ago

Alanis Morissette is the artist. Ironic is the name of the song. It is the third single off her third studio album called Jagged Little Pill. The album was released in 1995 and Ironic was released as a single in February 1996. It was written by Alanis and Glen Ballard. Glen also produced the song. It is not a pop song. It is classified as Alternative Rock/Indie.

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u/Mstinos 4d ago

Damn, you know your stuff.

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u/Interesting_Sock9142 4d ago

I swear to God if that song gets stuck in my head

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u/Kittychi75 4d ago

It’s actually “A free ride when you’ve already paid”. The rest is spot on.😊

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u/mydudeponch 4d ago

Its not though, they altered all the lines. 😁

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u/Infinite_Activity864 4d ago

I mean the guy was a huge asshole and catastrophically stupid. But do you really think it's a good thing he died?

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u/yourmomsgomjabbar 4d ago

Didn't say he was, didn't say it was.

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u/Just-Education773 4d ago

I do feel sorry for the others though, they may not have died but they ll be facing consequences of his actions for a while

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u/Dangerous_Cash_5682 4d ago

What a time 2008 was aswell, imagine suing someone for how they acted when they were sexually harassed instead of blaming the idiot who did it.

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u/Pls_PmTitsOrFDAU_Thx 4d ago

I hope he was alive enough to at least see it coming and understand it was the direct result of his actions

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u/racoon-fountain 4d ago

wow! talk about instant karma!

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u/viviolay 4d ago

That article is frustrating. “When her bikini top came off” You mean when she was SEXUALLY ASSAULTED WHILE DRIVING.

Apparently this is more common a thing than I realized given there was a post today of some dude doing that to a lady at a pool party. Yet some dudes will be like, “I don’t know how to act around women, I’m afraid of getting me too’d”.

Not removing their clothing without consent is a good start.

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u/Weekly_Palpitation92 4d ago edited 4d ago

as a guy, i feel pretty confident acting how i would normally act around women without any risk of being me too'd. this is because i don't sexually harass/assault women. maybe i aught to start making bank from my own brand of "one simple trick!" pages aimed at these people lol

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u/diavolina 4d ago

Please do, cause they don’t listen to women!

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u/IainKay 4d ago

You could probably sell a course these days. Nice little monthly earner.

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u/Zamod0 4d ago

I'm kinda with you here. Like, I've literally been warned by people (typically males more advanced in age than myself) about this, but...

Idk, I've never really been worried lol. I'm very confident acting as I do with no real risk of this kind of thing. Only thing I might hypothetically do differently is like, if trying to help an inebriated female, do my best to ensure there's another female there too. But honestly, that's a really good idea anyways for a variety of reasons, even if disregarding the current times. To be frank, if you've ever tried to help an inebriated person (like, to get somewhere to sleep, to get somewhere to vomit, to clean up said vomit when they inevitably don't get to the place you're taking them to vomit before vomiting, etc), the more people the better, whether they're male or female. And ideally, the more heavyweights/non-drinkers the better (or just the people like me who can read a room and just kinda know that everyone is taking that final drink to black out and somebody needs to be at least quasi responsible and as such slow down the drinking to retain some base level of executive function to deal with all the sequelae that come with said blackout in one's friends/fellow party members). But there are some unique advantages that having a female in that situation along side you presents: for an easy example, access to a convenient place to vomit (the ladies room). Super weird/almost universally unacceptable if a male helps a female into the ladies room, but if said male instead entrusts the care of said nauseous female to a different friend of the feminine persuasion, said third person can easily aid the queasy companion into the closest lavatory for similarly situated people without any weirdness. The seemingly universal fact that one's gastric contents will almost certainly be emptied during the walk to said room is another issue (and why having more people to help is better!).

But yeah, the weird thing is, I don't ever seem to worry that I need to act any differently (and am also pretty confident I won't get "me too'd." Maybe I found that "one simple trick!" too lol.

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u/MotoHULK 4d ago

I've had a woman try to metoo me ... and I was 1000 miles away.

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u/AlphaGareBear2 4d ago

I'm glad no woman has ever lied. That's good. Otherwise, your comment would be fucking stupid.

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u/Icandothisforever_1 4d ago

This is not the bear that women are choosing....

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u/AlphaGareBear2 4d ago

Epic and owned-pilled. Great job.

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u/Icandothisforever_1 4d ago

Barking up the wrong tree if you think I'm giving you attention You're not special. There's thousands like you.

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

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u/AlphaGareBear2 4d ago

You're literally giving me attention by replying, dipshit.

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u/bellobebe 4d ago

Ratio says otherwise but go off queen

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u/AlphaGareBear2 4d ago

Downvotes on reddit matter.

Actually pathetic.

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u/Downtown_Statement87 4d ago

Ha owned-pilled. You dweeb.

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u/KynarethNoBaka 4d ago edited 4d ago

For the longest time, and hopefully not anymore but I wouldn't be surprised if it was still the norm today, boys harassing girls from early puberty onwards has been treated as a way to indicate interest, rather than, y'know, the literal harassment that it is.

Boys need to learn to not harass girls.

And girls need to learn that just because the largest category of reported abusers are men, doesn't mean women can do no wrong. The woman in OP's story tried to kill them both while non-consensually touching him in a way he'd already repeatedly asked her not to, and then lied about it afterward.

Consent and safety are always two of the most important things to keep in mind whenever you're interacting with someone, no matter who you or they are.

These lessons need to be taught early and often, by a variety of sources. Schoolteachers, kids' shows, children's stories, etc. Can't rely on parents to teach this stuff. It has to be ubiquitous.

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u/Beebohsaurus 4d ago

I honestly got mad at the "Boys need to learn to not harass girls" part until I read the next part. Thank you lol

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

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u/RuanaRulane 4d ago

Everyone should be taught that. And it isn't a feminist position that a man's 'no' is any more debatable than a woman's. Anyone who thinks it is has either met some shitty 'feminists' or else has been throwing his weight around in matters that actually shouldn't be decided unilaterally.

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u/GoodPiexox 4d ago

For the longest time, and hopefully not anymore but I wouldn't be surprised if it was still the norm today, boys harassing girls from early puberty onwards has been treated as a way to indicate interest

oh yes, girls never act out either.

And girls need to learn that just because the largest category of abusers are men

as a man that has reported a woman abuser and seen the paperwork disappear and no charges filed, this, and many other reasons I dont think you can make these sexist claims. In fact the largest percentile according to the CDC was homosexual women, and the least was homosexual men.

try to leave out the sexist false finger pointing next time.

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u/MotoHULK 4d ago

You may want to check that study by the Coalition to End Domestic Violence. Turns out women commit abuse far more, even with men severely underrreporting.

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u/harpajeff 4d ago

Come on now, be honest, she didn't try to kill them both at all. You just made that up. She did something juvenile, irresponsible and dumb. She NEVER tried to kill them both.

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u/Different-Leather359 4d ago

Did something on purpose and it almost got them both killed. While death might not have been the intention, the fact that she deliberately put them at risk doesn't change.

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u/ObjectiveVolume8161 4d ago

So, how is doing something irresponsible that could get them both killed the same as having an intent to get them both killed?

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u/Different-Leather359 4d ago

If you push someone and they fall in traffic that's still a deliberate action, even if you don't think it through enough to raise what could happen. You will be tried for murder (or attempted murder if they survive) because it was a foreseeable consequence.

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u/Sunrunner_Princess 4d ago

Actually, depending on the circumstances, that’s what voluntary and non-voluntary manslaughter charges are for. Intentionally doing something they know is dangerous, even if the intent is not to harm or kill anyone, that results in death is basically manslaughter in the US. Of course, it always depends on the circumstances, the resources of the defendant, how thorough an investigation, and what the district attorney’s office decides to charge or plea down ( usually based on their willingness to risk losing/statistics of successful prosecution, not necessarily the right thing or “upholding the law”).

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u/ObjectiveVolume8161 4d ago

It's irrelevant. We're talking about intent here.

So, if I push somebody and they randomly fall into traffic, the intent isn't to kill. Death occurs as a conclusion to events.

If I push somebody into traffic, hell, even then the intent might not be there.

Intent is defined as intention or purpose - a determination to do something. So, if my intention is to kill her, then and only then is there an attempt to kill you.

Legality of it is a whole different conversation.

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

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u/ObjectiveVolume8161 4d ago

What are you on about? Go take your meds, calm down and then we can talk if you have anything relevant to say.

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u/cpMetis 4d ago

It's actually easy to understand. The venn diagram between those two groups looks like a butterfly and an entire wing is pissed at the middle sliver for creating the problem.

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u/Proper_Career_6771 4d ago

Not removing their clothing without consent is a good start.

I got buried in r/askmen for saying that having sex with a woman who is too drunk to consent is rape.

This was in the context of "teaching men not to rape" because some moron said "teaching men not to rape doesn't stop rape".

I used "don't have sex with blackout drunk women" as an example of society literally teaching men not to rape, because that behavior doesn't come automatically.

I guess summer-reddit and the andrew tate npcs didn't like that very much.

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u/viviolay 4d ago

That is just genuinely effing scary. I’m sorry you dealt with that. I really worry about the fact a whole generation of boys are growing up with tate and other misogynists as role models. Even if the majority of them snap out of it, the remainder can do a lot of damage to others and themselves.

But, like you did, I thought “don’t have sex with unconscious or drunk or unconscious drunk people” was Don’t-Rape 101.🤦🏾‍♀️

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u/Proper_Career_6771 4d ago

Not to scare you more, but I realized something else important a few weeks ago.

Foxnews was established in 1997. By 2007, they were saying obama is a secret muslim. In 2017 they were having discussions like "would it be that bad if Trump was president for life?"

Gamergate was 2014. It's now 2024. 10 years of young men being exposed to state sponsored propaganda, plus a bunch of grifters (aka tate, etc) who are taking advantage of the market.

Here's the results: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/1dlw2j0/what_are_some_things_often_labeled_as_male/l9t6bty/?context=3

I'm not much looking forward to 2034.

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u/viviolay 4d ago

That is just so depressing. Fwiw, you can have my upvote.

Don’t worry tho, you didn’t scare me since I was already at my max-scared level after seeing clips of the debate tonight. I felt very “shit, we’re doomed.” When I realized the choices left to us was Trump and a president who really really isn’t all there and should be enjoying his twilight years, and then I turn to my bf and genuinely ask “okay, but who is running the country right now then??”, Crazy train’s chorus started playing in my head.

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u/Proper_Career_6771 4d ago

and then I turn to my bf and genuinely ask “okay, but who is running the country right now then??”

I feel less concerned about this because a president shouldn't be running the country. That's congress's job.

The president is pretty much in charge of the military, diplomacy and the veto. He has limited powers with executive orders, but the people running the country are almost never the president.

It's the people who are voted alongside the president as his cabinet who run the country. Those people aren't doddering even if Biden is.

My concern is more if Biden dies in the next four years, and then we have to deal with Kamala as an "incumbent". Whatever soggy ball of wonderbread republicans produce for their candidate will wipe the floor with her and I don't like her either, but it would be a huge pain to get a different candidate in there instead of her.

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u/viviolay 4d ago

I agree. I told my bf, “so people are essentially voting for Kamala if they vote for Biden.” Cause ain’t no way he’s gonna make it (mentally or physically) another 4 years at this rate. And if that’s the case, I honestly don’t think she has a good chance of beating him if ppl start to view it that way (which I pretty much do after seeing the debate performance)

I wish congress was doing a better job but it feels like it’s most bipartisan bills are pro-corporation or public control that they manage to pass most of the time. It often feels like they’ve abdicated their responsibility to actually help people via legislation because I don’t feel like they are doing enough while many are struggling. Otherwise, it feels like more “legislating” metaphorically is happening via executive orders, other presidential decisions, or Supreme Court rulings for better or for worse :(. Maybe I’m overly cynical.

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u/lavenderpenguin 4d ago

But I think you inadvertently proved that person’s point when you got buried. Perhaps you think I’m a “moron” too but I truly also believe you cannot teach men not to rape — you’ve got to actively stop them from doing so by force and action (more self defense, stricter punishment, and risk avoidance whenever possible). It’s actually ludicrous to me that any women buy the whole “we don’t know, teach us how to stop raping!!!1!” act that some men put on.

I’m sorry but I just don’t believe in my bones that men don’t intuitively know that having sex with a blackout drunk woman is rape and morally incorrect. How many women do you know who’d see a hot dude passed out and think hey, I should take his pants off?! That line of thinking itself is NOT normal and anyone who thinks having sex with a clearly drunk person is okay isn’t going to change their mind by being told not to — they’re going to change their mind if the punishment outweighs the “benefit” in their mind.

It’s the same with things like date or marital rape. Intuitively every man knows that forcing himself on a woman is NOT okay, regardless of his relationship status with her. It’s not some groundbreaking info to be like “hey actually you know that’s wrong to pin your wife down and force yourself on her when she’s screaming no and you should stop.” He already knows it’s wrong.

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u/Proper_Career_6771 4d ago

Ok I have a stupid-simple metaphor for you.

Suppose I said "teach men to not wreck cars".

Am I saying every man is a bad driver? No.

Am I saying there's men who have wrecking cars in their blood? No.

I am saying "teach men healthy habits to drive safely" by saying "teach men to not wreck cars".

Teach men to not rape = teach men healthy habits to have safe consensual sex

Get it?

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u/lavenderpenguin 4d ago edited 4d ago

That metaphor does not work because driving is a de facto taught skill and someone can be a bad driver unknowingly because it is not an intuitive human skill like eating, shitting, having sex, etc. since cars are a modern invention.

Men do not rape unknowingly. If someone is drunk/not conscious, it is self evident that you should not have sex with them and anyone old enough to have sex should know that intuitively. Same with pressuring someone to have sex or being forceful, you should intuitively know not to do that. Hell, put sex aside, and most of us automatically know we’re not in the right when we pressure or trick someone to do something against their will for our benefit. It’s common sense.

So the question is not (and has never been) about “teaching” that informed and enthusiastic consent is important and should be respected. It is about raising the consequences (societal AND legal AND sometimes physical - shoutout to the lady who chopped off her would-be rapist’s dick) enough that they actually stop the problematic behavior.

Think about it this way — did YOU need to be taught not to take off a drunk man’s pants and start having sex with him? Like did someone need to sit you down at some point and say “Hey, Proper_Career, if you happen to see a frat guy passed out at a party, it would be WRONG to take off his pants, pull out his dick, and start touching it?” I’m guessing not. And the reason is because anyone with a modicum of human decency would know not to do that.

Most men know the boundaries intuitively and wouldn’t have sex with an unconscious woman. And the men who would? They would do it whether or not they are affirmatively told it’s wrong because they already know in their hearts that it’s wrong, the same way we intuitively know not to hurt animals or murder or steal or a million other things that we automatically know aren’t right. And the men that fit into this latter category only behave when the punishment is high enough to deter them.

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u/Zamod0 4d ago

To be fair, part of why they phrased it that way might have to do with the instant karma he got in the form of, well, dying in the crash he caused with his sexual assault. Doesn't make it less of a sexual assault, but I imagine the news station was hesitant to speak ill of the dead, so to speak.

Or at least, I hope that's all it was, because like you said, that's rather obviously sexual assault.

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u/Prestigious-Seat-932 4d ago

Honestly... also I understand the other guy who sued the driver for damages was injured, but have some decency. Whoever pushed for him to sue (parents, or lawyers) are so infuriating. The driver could've also died, everyone in that car could've died, because a dude decided it was a smart idea to harass the driver and TAKE HER BIKINI top off and expose her breast.

Obviously he knew (and perhaps expected) that she just won't cover it because she's driving... also love that the prosecution's argument is "she could've pulled over before putting it back on"... like, yes, yes, i see you obviously don't understand how violating it is to be exposed against your will especially as a woman with 2 (trhat i know of) men in the same car and you're supposed to think of their safety first and not yours. tf

sorry i rambled.

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u/viviolay 3d ago

100% - it’s just more victim blaming to sue the driver

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u/brattydeer 4d ago

I use to pants this guy I had a crush on and he HATED it, maybe I should do that to these guys see how they like their bits out for everyone to see.

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u/Any_Contribution1075 3d ago

Another article I found even said he "playfully" untied her bikini 🙄🙄🙄 wtf??

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u/viviolay 3d ago

Well thanks to his “playful” attitude he “playfully” got to die. I’m glad others did not. So dangerous - it’s like people forget cars weigh tons and can kill or something

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u/mutantraniE 4d ago

I think those are two (or more) distinct groups of guys. Most guys who will actually do something like that aren’t worried about being Me Too’d. It simply not something that pops in their brain. Most men worried about how to act around women have some anxiety, haven’t really had successful relationships with women, don’t hang out with women a lot etc. now some of those guys can still be absolute pigs, but I think their piggishness would express itself differently.

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u/drfrink85 4d ago

guy who sued her for the crash is an asshole

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u/TovarishhStalin 4d ago

Might have been the guy's insurance doing it on his behalf, dude probably doesn't have a choice if he wants his insurance to cover anything.

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u/HoldFastO2 4d ago

Maybe, maybe not. Could be he didn't have the money for his medical bills, and her driver's insurance was his best shot. Biggest asshole is still the US medical system.

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u/Dangerous_Device7296 4d ago

Does America not have insurance policies for road users through vehicle registration?

In Australia, we pay for a 'greenslip' every year before our cars are considered roadworthy. It means that every road user is covered for injuries sustained on the roads. Short of negligence individuals aren't personally responsible.

I can't imagine living through the horror of a crash like that and then to be sued personally. How awful.

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u/HoldFastO2 4d ago

Not to my knowledge; but I’m no expert in US insurance law.

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u/maatsat 4d ago

In the States, we have to get auto insurance on our own to cover things like damage to the vehicle, injuries to self & other driver, etc. We have to provide proof of auto insurance coverage when we register/re-register our vehicles yearly (or bi-yearly).

Very high level description here...When a crash happens with our "system" my auto insurance pays for damages to my car & any medical bills I incur (up to a certain dollar amount, which is different for all policies because we can choose the limit). Then my insurance company goes & sues the insurance company for the at-fault driver who caused the accident to get the $$ they spent on fixing my vehicle & my medical bills back. While we still pay monthly premiums to have auto insurance.

Totally simple & straightforward, right? And tbh, it is compared to the nightmare our health insurance is - that you basically need a PhD in health insurance to even remotely understand what is covered & why & how much we have to pay out of pocket. 😬

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u/onionbreath97 4d ago

Not even close. However, you can pay for insurance that covers you in the case that you are injured by someone who is illegally driving without insurance

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u/Dangerous_Device7296 3d ago

Living is a wild ride for people in the us

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u/Any_Contribution1075 3d ago

I read in another article that it was because he was cut from his acceptance into the football team at Yale University due to his injuries. I'm guessing he couldn't sue the dead guy so he went after the driver 🤷

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u/Content_Row_3716 4d ago

And a passenger had the gall to sue HER. Seriously?? (Obviously a male passenger who thought his friend’s stunt was no big deal. The driver should have known how to deal with it better./s)

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u/bellobebe 4d ago

I wonder if the idiot had survived, the friend would have sued him for causing the crash. Probably not.

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u/pm_me_semi_nudes 4d ago

Not saying this is what happened, but it’s possible that was the only means of getting insurance money for medical bills.

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u/BeinnChabhair 4d ago

This is almost always true. You don’t sue the insurance company, you sue the driver and the insurance covers the judgement to the extent of the policy. Often medical insurance won’t pay if injuries are the result of an accident, so the injured person is stuck doing something that feels terrible.

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u/mutantraniE 4d ago

What kind of fucked up insurance doesn’t pay out in cases of accident? Imagine that for home insurance. “Your home burned down but it was found not to be arson so go fuck yourself”. What the fuck kind of shithole country is the US?

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u/HoldFastO2 4d ago

The guy who caused it was dead, so the next target of litigation is the driver. Not much more to it, I guess.

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u/Putrid_Musician_7670 4d ago

Not just dead, but she as the driver would have been the one covered by insurance 

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u/andthenwombats 4d ago

They likely were suing both for damages if possible, however legally the driver is the one covered under insurance. Seeking damages could be a way to get insurance payment.

4

u/Kris_okami 4d ago

That’s called instead karma

Like, everyone is alive and the only dead one is the fucking moron who decided to wreck everyone by pulling a stupid prank on the driver

4

u/StoneheartedLady 4d ago

Should have sued the estate of the dumb fuck who caused the crash in the first place.

2

u/HoldFastO2 4d ago

Huh, you’re right. I had thought there was another car involved, and she was sued by a relative of someone who died there. But apparently not.

2

u/Zhamka 4d ago

that's a relief. at least no one else died.

2

u/IHaveABigDuvet 4d ago

Darwin always wins. That’s what you get for being a creep.

2

u/Amazing_Lawyer_1660 4d ago

Saw a pic of the dead guy. I’m like yeah that would be the guy to do that.

2

u/TomatoTrebuchet 4d ago

I once went to scratch my face and flicked off my glasses, at night. while in the left lane on the freeway. incredibly scary and I lucked out cause I almost pulled over where a guard-rail was. (probably would have hit it if i had pulled over too fast.)

i probably handle that situation well because it was a genuine fear that I mentally prepared for randomly when ever I'm driving. so i had an exercised plan in cause of such an emergency.

i don't really expect people to be able to predict all these unforeseen events. and I've only prepared for the obvious ones. and I don't really expect someone to be prepared to deal with a sexual assault while they are driving. i'm glad she wasn't deemed at fault.

2

u/catalyptic 4d ago

This is a rare case of true karmic justice. Only the asshole died, and he deserved to. Hope he had time to fully realize how bad he fucked up at the end. Laighter at the funeral would have been appropriate.

-24

u/likeawolf 4d ago

You’re seriously saying a teenager deserved to die because he was a dumbass teenager? Nevermind the fact it occurred almost two decades ago, pre-me too, pre-social justice and awareness, pre-all the bullshit that would be called out in 2024. He deserved potential jail time for endangerment and a civil suit. Hell, put him on the offenders list for sexual misconduct. He did not deserve fucking death. People are wild.

19

u/Zorrosmama 4d ago

I didn't realize that sexual harassment and assault were okay before "Me Too." Good to know, thanks!

-5

u/likeawolf 4d ago

I didn’t realize that killing prople over pulling at a bikini top was an appropriate punishment.

If sexual harassment - not even rape or actual violence - warrants death then what exactly warrants life in prison to you then? Petty theft? Forgetting to pay taxes? Bring back the electric chair for first DUIs.

Nobody said it was “ok” but you know damn well the whole social climate was different back then unless you’re a child. The kid likely didn’t realize the severity of what he was doing because it wouldn’t be called out like it is now and what he needed was to be TAUGHT that through behavior correction and restitution, not fucking wiped from existence in a tragic way.

The psychopath I replied to said people should literally be laughing at a teenager’s funeral as if he were a serial kiddy rapist and not a dumbass kid who fucked up. Get real.

4

u/Zorrosmama 4d ago

Might have been different for you, can't say it felt that much different to the people it happened to. And the dude got himself killed. Distracting someone driving a moving vehicle, no matter how it's done, is stupid.

-1

u/likeawolf 4d ago

Ofc he got himself killed. Nobody is saying he didn’t or it wasn’t his fault. A lot of people get themselves killed over stupid ass avoidable shit. It doesn’t mean they deserve a brutal ass death and I doubt even the girl he did it to is throwing a yearly party that her friend is dead like this commenter is ready to do. “Laugh at his funeral” this is fucking single minded psychopathy lacking nuance, full stop.

1

u/catalyptic 13h ago

I'm saying he caused his own death, ehich he did, and that it was just that nobody else died in that accident. He may not have deserved death, but he fucked around snd caused his own.

1

u/Try_Happy_Thoughts 1d ago

I wonder if OP could sue for the cost of the scratched paint

0

u/XepherWolf 4d ago

And people say , karma doesn't exist.

4

u/lavenderpenguin 4d ago

I feel so bad for the rest of the people who got hurt. The guy who pulled the sexual assault (“prank” 🙄) though is exactly where he belongs.

1.1k

u/PSSalamander 5d ago

I did this to my father when I was bored on a long road trip when I was about 5 years old. He pulled over and gave me a very stern lecture on how you NEVER mess with someone driving a vehicle, how dangerous it is, etc. I was super ashamed and learned a valuable lesson that day. This girl is 20 and doesn't get it? What a moron.

305

u/catsan 4d ago

Ha, as a last goodbye, I'd probably tell her parents to explain this to her now.

31

u/Alternative_Escape12 4d ago

They would need crayons to do so.

5

u/Staerke 4d ago

She might eat them

3

u/NurtureAndGrace 4d ago

Might need felt board.

3

u/AJae210404 4d ago

Yes tell the parents if you’re close to them! How she owes you for her “little mistake”.

2

u/mookshamoon 4d ago

Literally.

126

u/Ode_2_kay 4d ago

I was being a dick in the backseat and kicking his chair he pulled over got out came to the rear window and chewed me out about how messing with the driver could lead to several people dying including myself. I shut up and when we got home I went to bed immediately, woke up the next day and apologized because I had never considered things like consequences.

16

u/Realistic-Active7230 4d ago

Similar experience- definitely not the AH. Besides it’s not tickling when it digs into your body

3

u/Loud-Doughnut1089 4d ago

I was bothering a bus driver with a stick when I was 6. My grandma smacked me across the face. I didn't understand it. Nowadays, even I don't agree with smacking kids as discipline, I think I deserved it. I put at risk like 60 lives, we were on a shitty bridge of post communist Romania. The only think that still bothers me from that day is that she only slapped me once. 😂

145

u/InevitableIcy8924 5d ago

Someone who thinks it's cute to almost die apparently

166

u/Unintelligent_Lemon 5d ago

My husband's ex-fiancee punched him in the face while he was driving. They broke up shortly after that

136

u/Content_Row_3716 5d ago

Yeah, that would put a damper on most relationships.

99

u/dex248 5d ago

You mean the brakes

50

u/gcwardii 4d ago

It was right there

6

u/Content_Row_3716 4d ago

Bahahaha…I see what you did there.

2

u/Desertbro 4d ago

Guess someone was walking to New Orleans after that...

2

u/Maleficent-Toe6159 4d ago

You have a great story there

“Without domestic violence, we would have never met”

216

u/jmbf8507 5d ago

My friend once, while I was driving her car, squeezed my knee. Luckily I had my foot on the brake as I was slowing for a turn on an empty bit of road, as my leg twitched and I slammed on the brake.

However as she was an adult with accountability she apologized and acknowledged that it was dangerous and would never do that again.

213

u/Icy_Weather_5307 4d ago

My ex husband used to do that all the time- grab and squeeze my knee, fingers digging into kneecaps. He found it hilarious. Then, he’d get mad when any time he’d try to touch me, I would tense up and put my hands up, like in a protective move. He’d get all upset and I said I didn’t like how he touched me (used to dig fingers in my ribs to “tickle” me which I hated). I had to have a long talk about “good touch” and “bad touch.” It annoyed me, because why should I have to explain it! I told him I don’t like it, shouldn’t that just be enough for him to stop?

100

u/jmbf8507 4d ago

A college boyfriend who was also ticklish once pinched my ribs in fun. My (literal) kneejerk reaction was to knee him in the junk. Unfortunately I also smacked the back of my head into a brick wall. I’m not sure which one he felt worse about.

75

u/Icy_Weather_5307 4d ago

They don’t care until they get hurt.

60

u/jmbf8507 4d ago

In his defense it was after a conversation about both of us being ticklish and he never did it again. But abusive people will use all of the tools they have to be abusive, including tickling for “fun”.

19

u/NathanielTurner666 4d ago

I have an extreme reaction to being tickled. Don't know exactly why. My mom and dad used to grab our butts as kids out of nowhere and I've developed a strong involuntary reaction to it. It wasn't ever inappropriate. But the reflex I've developed is a fluke from that. My fiancée used to try and grab my butt but I jump every time. Even when I know she's doing it. I just can't help it.

Even tickling, I hate it so much. It makes me mad whenever someone tries to tickle me. It's way too much stimuli for me. Luckily my partner knows this and doesn't try it anymore.

I literally can't control my bodily reactions when it comes to tickling. I will use everything in my power to stop it from happening. It's like my lizard brain takes over and fights to get it to stop. Luckily it's never happened while driving.

6

u/mutantraniE 4d ago

Same. A friend had once wrestled me to the ground (teenaged boys, wrestling happens). I could not get out of it. No chance. He was stronger and more fit than me. Then he started tickling me. I don’t know exactly what happened but a few seconds later I was on top of him, pinning him down with one arm free to throw a punch. I did manage to not punch him but I completely blacked out for a few seconds.

15

u/Proper_Career_6771 4d ago

My ex husband used to do that all the time- grab and squeeze my knee, fingers digging into kneecaps. He found it hilarious.

My shithead dad would do that to myself and siblings until we were large enough to fight back.

Bullies come in all shapes and sizes.

8

u/thekstein 4d ago

Yiiiiiiikes. Sorry to hear we both married the same abusive A H 😒

7

u/wrenderings 4d ago

Wow, he really gets around, he married me too! Cheers to getting away. 

6

u/420_Shaggy 4d ago

grab and squeeze my knee, fingers digging into kneecaps.

My partner legitimately asks me to "massage" his knees like that. Like dig my fingers in with full force. Apparently it feels amazing to him but it seems nuts to me.

2

u/Quackers_2 4d ago

Are you doing ok? I broke up with someone bc he kept poking my belly button. You are allowed to have autonomy over your body. 

2

u/HappyGothKitty 4d ago

There's a reason he's an ex-husband, I'm glad you're rid of him he sounds horrible.

1

u/ACaffeinatedWandress 4d ago

Yeah, he knew exactly what he was doing. Sounds like an abuser.

1

u/Prestigious-Seat-932 4d ago

omg same... though I am very ticklish but also have some issues about touching moreso than the average person, so I felt like it's also on me to explain to him (not saying this is the same for you, just for me). Like this extends to being pranked/surprised... one time he got mad at me because I threw a cup of coke on his new jacket after he decided to spring up on me from an alley.

I get its all in good fun and I'm not a bad sport with it... i'll laugh it off, but don't be mad at me i reacted. Like if someone touched me a little down on my waist out of nowhere, i will elbow and/or kick you out of my personal space. I've warned all my close friends who are pranksters... so I feel its fair.

72

u/trowzerss 4d ago

This is why I cannot understand the trope in movies/TV of people getting road head. I suppose people are that dumb, but it's usually shown as something cool and awesome, not something incredibly stupid and dangerous.

24

u/KynarethNoBaka 4d ago

Yeah the only time to ever actually do road head or anything similar is when the car is parked and out of the way of other vehicles. Ideally also out of anyone's sight. Public indecency, etc.

That this isn't how it's portrayed in media is kinda horrifying from a public safety messaging perspective.

1

u/TomatoTrebuchet 4d ago

funnily enough not entirely safe. cause you could hit the gear shift and start rolling. depending on the car.

8

u/MoeFuka 4d ago

Yeah same. The only negative example I can think of is from American Gods. In that road head causes a crash

6

u/Far-Government5469 4d ago

They buried her with his penis still in her mouth lol

7

u/daydreamersunion 4d ago

When I was in high-school (large, almost 2500 students) we passed the wrecked truck of one of the (asshole) seniors.  He had hit a telephone pole head on but not at a high rate of speed.  This happened leaving school so literally everyone passed by ogling the wreck.  He went to hospital with undisclosed contusion to his mid-section.  His girlfriend had skull fracture from the steering wheel.  If you do the math....

5

u/A_spiny_meercat 4d ago

I know way too many people who have done it and more than once. It's not a badge of pride it's stupid and dangerous for everyone

3

u/TomatoTrebuchet 4d ago

I watch a lot of medical dramas and one of the more common medical situations that occur in a lot of these show is road head leading to a very over the top embarrassing injury that landed everyone in the hospital. or dead. I think this happens a lot in morgue tv shows as well. basically an imbedded public service announcement in tv shows.

1

u/Cultural_Project9764 3d ago

Immediately remembered ‘The World According to Garp:

Garp's car collided into Michael's. Duncan lost his eye in the accident—it "was gouged out" by the "uncovered tip of the stick-shift shaft" (14.3). Ouch. Helen was giving Michael oral sex when the impact happened, so she broke two teeth, strained her neck, and needed stitches in her tongue. But that's the least of it—the collision was so powerful that she accidentally bit off "three quarters of Michael Milton's penis" (14.6). Ha.

23

u/paspartuu 4d ago

She intentionally endangered OP, herself, but also any innocent bystanders driving around them. OP could have really swerved  colluded head on with an oncoming car that has a family. 

Gf is 20, not 3. She likely has a driver's license and is old enough to understand how incredibly dangerous fucking around in traffic is. She's a danger to everyone  around her, because it sounds like she still thinks it's about the scratches and not about the reckless endangerment of multiple lives.

NTA OP. Just answer the friend "I don't want anything to do with anyone who casually endangers the lives of me and several bystanders just for shits and giggles", and that's that

6

u/HeyPrettyLadyMaam 4d ago

Who keeps tickling someone AFTER being told it bothers someone beyond a physical level? Op said he asked her to stop cause he reacts "weird" for childhood reasons. I have tickle issues. Family used to pin me down and tickle me till i cried. I now start swinging when someone tries to tickle me. For someone to do that while someone is driving?? Bitch your walking home. If your still standing when i pull away from the curb. Fuck that shit, NTA even a little. She could have got y'all killed.

3

u/ImWatermelonelyy 4d ago

I’m glad I’m not ticklish. My dad used to jab the shit out of my sides because he wasn’t convinced I wasn’t tho

3

u/angryomlette 4d ago

Someone who has an inborn loose screw.

3

u/keopuki 4d ago

Literally! The fact that OP generally reacts badly to being tickled isn't even relevant to this situation. You shouldn't tickle anyone while they're driving. Period. How stupid does one have to be in order to do this smh

6

u/Ok_Raspberry4814 4d ago

I low-key think tickling is a form of abuse. I think people tickle you to put you in a state of vulnerability and see how much you'll let them get away with before you (understandably) freak out.

2

u/3dogsplaying 4d ago

She may be young, but accidents come from all ages due to momentary lapse of judgement. Even if someone like being tickled, this is a very serious lapse of judgement to tickle a driver. Hopefully she learn not to do such jokes and pranks in the future.

2

u/Domadea 4d ago

Ikr is she suicidal?

2

u/AllThoughtsAllVibes 4d ago

I had an ex (he was at that point my ex) poke my aides to make me jump while I was driving us over the Mississippi River. His excuse when I started yelling? “Well all your friends do it!” I yelled back that they didn’t when I was driving

2

u/Itchy_Horse 4d ago

Especially when they have a well-known history of reacting wildly to it. This woman is an absolute MORON.

1

u/rolleicord 4d ago

I met some travelers on the border of Russia and Mongolia who were so excited they reached the mongolian border, that they started an impromptu waterfight in the middle of the night, driving down a small road with tall sides on either sides.

It ended when the passenger threw a 2 liter water bottle at the driver, he lost control, and we had to patch up and comfort 3 young people, who almost got killed, in the middle of the night. The car rolled like 4-5 times

1

u/Dugley2352 4d ago

This is as stupid as the girl who randomly turned off her bf’s car on the freeway “as a joke”. She didn’t consider that he’d crash and was surprised when he did.

1

u/mineher 4d ago

Honestly? My 6 year old. I've had to have these conversations with my child what could happen. So that should tell you where she is on maturity level. Insane to do this as an adult.

1

u/ermek89 4d ago

Someone who doesn't like life?

1

u/_unreal_milk_ 4d ago

She's insane god damn!

1

u/Professional_Fruit86 4d ago

And then cries about it when confronted? Regardless of her age, she’s a child.

1

u/babcock27 3d ago

Tickling is torture and someone might get hurt on dry land if they tried it with me. I punch and kick.

But, after disrespecting him time and time again, she decided to torture him while driving. It's not funny. It's punishment and control. I'd dump her because she not only almost got you killed and ruined your new paint job, now she's pretending it was a mistake. It wasn't and she knew exactly what she was doing.

She was mad he was happy about his new paint job and was jealous he wasn't paying attention to her. She was probably jealous about the car as well. So, she made sure his car got messed up and she could have killed a lot of people because she didn't get what she wanted. NTA

-26

u/Longjumping_Law_6807 4d ago

Who starts randomly tickling a driver?? 

Young people in love?

15

u/Keldan91 4d ago

I am head over heels for my partners and I would never consider doing something so fucking suicidally stupid.

12

u/TheRealCarpeFelis 4d ago

More like young idiot who cares more about her own amusement than safety or the other person’s consent.

3

u/Mazda323girl 4d ago

Stupid people in general. Apparently love makes one stupid.