r/tifu • u/SomeAwfulMillennial • 2d ago
TIFU by being labelled a pedophile for asking about consent. S
[removed] — view removed post
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u/Brekldios 2d ago
Frank there is no quicker way to make people think you diddle kids than to write song about it.
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u/Longjumping-Pick-706 2d ago
I do not diddle kids. I do not diddle kids. Got to be older than my daughter..,,
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u/SomeAwfulMillennial 2d ago
I'm not attracted to any of them! None of them... And that's the way it is.
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u/hammerdal 2d ago
What like Danny Elfman? https://youtu.be/H2LQMElLoLs?si=H7eZEX4OcNcmnWfm
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u/AmbulanceChaser12 2d ago edited 2d ago
And Ted Nugent with Jailbait, and Gary Puckett with “Young Girl.”
I don’t understand how artists go through the entire process of writing, arranging, producing, rehearsing and releasing a song like these and nobody at any point stops to say “Hey, isn’t this a monumentally bad idea all around?”
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u/Randy_Ortons_Voices 2d ago
Don’t forget “Christine Sixteen” by KISS
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u/Ryllan1313 2d ago
"Going Blind" by KISS as well.
🎵 I'm 93 and you're 16...and I think I'm going blind 🎵
Unless he is going blind because he's leaving her alone 🤔 mom always said you'd go blind if you didn't stop touching it.
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u/gingerbeardman79 2d ago
Also "I Love Rock 'n' Roll" by Joan Jett
Well I saw him dancin' there, by the record machine I knew he must've been about 17
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u/Romarqable 2d ago
That reminds me of that one song "Into The Night" by Barry Mardones which literally the first lyric is "she's just 16 years old, leave her alone they said."
It's not like this idea of sexualizing children and teens in music or film or movies or Hollywood is anything new.
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u/dramignophyte 2d ago
I got harassed back in high-school for dating a 15 year old freshman because I was a senior, but I was 16 most of my senior year, I was the second youngest senior and she was old compared to the average freshmen so we were a little over a year and a half apart. This was back in 2007, which feels now, like a more flippant time for this kind of thing. Anyway, I always thought it was odd how much shit I got for that when I hear about 30 year Olds dating 18 year Olds way too frequently, and then there's dudes literally singing about it. To be fair, I think most of the hate came from a guy who was trying to date her after, so he tried making it into a big deal. At the time, I didn't know about Romeo and juliet laws though, so I actually got really freaked out about it all.
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u/WarConsigliere 2d ago
You're sweet, but you're just four feet
And you've still got your baby teeth
You're too young and I'm too well hung
But tonight I'm gonna rock you
Tonight I'm gonna rock you TONIGHT!
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u/Hunk-Hogan 2d ago
Sounds like you fucked up by not choosing your words carefully. Or you just fucked up by expecting redditors to read between the lines.
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u/vpsj 2d ago
To be honest even when they asked "For what?!?" OP didn't specify and said "anything" for most answers.
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u/SomeAwfulMillennial 2d ago
Yep. Said piercings and tattoos as thats where I was coming from and then continued to leave it open with anything because I thought people would bring something to the table.
NOPE!
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u/Immediate_Magician62 2d ago
No you didn't. Someone very clearly asked you "for what?" And your reply was "anything"
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u/checco314 2d ago
Well, they did read between the lines. They just read the most obvious assumption, instead of the one OP apparently meant.
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u/pikachu8090 2d ago edited 1d ago
And to give the benefit of the doubt to reddit, a widely known gaming streamer has just been exposed for sexting a minor, so they could've been asking about this as well. I don't blame them
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u/Choice-Second-5587 2d ago
They also likely pissed off the AskReddit mods by spamming the sub. Look at OPs post history. Its....it's something
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u/KingPrincessNova 2d ago
jeez. OP, try googling "[your question] reddit" next time
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u/Various_Mobile4767 2d ago
Whenever I check someone who seems rather “odd” on the internet, most of them have a surprising amount of posts. Not comments, but they do this weird thing where they like to spam posts in subreddits, way more than the usual redditor.
I’ve always wondered why but its like an underrated red flag.
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u/bugzaway 2d ago
No, he fucked up by knowingly posting something he 100% knew people would misinterpret so he could get the gotcha pleasure of saying "I meant body piercings!!" except that the mods weren't having it. The post was 100% bait.
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u/SomeAwfulMillennial 2d ago
I really should've dumbed it way, waaaaay down.
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u/Hot2Trot94 2d ago edited 2d ago
Mate, be real. The dumb thing was expressing yourself like a moron. If someone walked up to you at a bar and said ‘when can a child give consent’ is your first thought ear piercing? Either you expressed yourself terribly in that post, or this one by not adding context…
Edit (link to other comment) https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/1dqtdsn/comment/laqnaxr/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
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u/tunachilimac 2d ago
Or they knew exactly what they were doing so they could make this post. Or this post is to try to cover it up because they didn’t expect the negative attention the post got them.
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u/ODOTMETA 2d ago
Why didn't you put "for an ear piercing" instead of leaving it open ended and weird 🤔
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u/DuesDuke 2d ago
There are many, many instances in life in which we consent to non-sexual things. Most consent in life isn’t about sex
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u/ODOTMETA 2d ago
In the public eye and public conversations between non street people, "consent to search" isn't going to pop up. "Consent" and "age of consent" are mostly tied to sex now. I didn't make those rules.
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u/VenomsViper 2d ago
Because this was exactly what he wanted. To make that post so he could then make this post. This subreddit is the most fucking gullible place on the internet.
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u/Numerous-Stranger-81 2d ago
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u/cqandrews 2d ago
Seriously, it could very well be some dumb karma ploy but it could also just be a dumb mistake, either is very feasible but if believing the latter makes you gullible then believing the former must make you paranoid
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u/BrandoCalrissian1995 2d ago
Seeing as op spams the fuck out of ask reddit questions and is a karma whore, I'm inclined to believe they did this shit on purpose to get karma.
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u/Z_011 2d ago
Considering dudes entire account is karma farming shit, it’s really not that unbelievable that this was done purposefully
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u/inverted_peenak 2d ago
That’s the point. The author did not make it weird. It is a straightforward philosophical question.
OP, I shall join you in being called a pervert.
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u/Psychological-Fox97 2d ago
It cracks me up that you're here in the comments trying to act like this isn't obviously what people were going to assume.
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u/bugzaway 2d ago
Exactly. He knowingly posting something he knew people would misinterpret so he could get the gotcha pleasure of saying "I meant body piercings!!" except that the mods weren't having it. That post was 100% bait. I can picture him chuckling as he pressed "post."
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u/Krazyguy75 2d ago
Also OP: "Pro-Life believer's: What is a realistic alternative to abortion if an underage girl gets pregnant from rape?"
Yeah I feel like that's a red flag.
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u/Womcataclysm 2d ago
How? That's a legitimate good question to pro lifers.
I mean I guess I can see your point that it's weird that he thinks about underage pregnant girls etc but that was a normal talking point for a bit
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u/OwO_i_made_a_cummy 2d ago
You should have specified what consent you were referring to as in most conversations it refers to consent for sexual acts
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u/msnmck 2d ago
Why on Hell's half-acre is your reddit handle u/OwO_i_made_a_cummy? 😧
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u/Lokijai 2d ago edited 2d ago
What makes it funnier is OP asks what's a dealbreaker in a previous post.
OP definitely testing the waters.
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u/RBXXIII 2d ago
Damn, an hour earlier he was asking about abortion alternatives for underage rape....
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u/Lokijai 2d ago
Oh God, that's actually scary.
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u/SadLilBun 2d ago
It’s not. That person intentionally left out an important part of that question to make OP look bad.
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u/SomeAwfulMillennial 2d ago
Actually
It was about asking pro-lifers alternatives to abortion for underage rape. At the very least get your facts straight.
What next, going to point out that I also asked people where they drew the line between abuse and discipline? So triggering.
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u/Pitiful_Drop2470 2d ago
They said: abortion alternatives for underage rape
You said: alternatives to abortion for underage rape
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u/cochese25 2d ago
And in either case, both of them lack the context needed to understand what's being discussed
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u/Cyan_Light 2d ago
Was that the full question? Was there any other context added? If that's all you did then it's a horrific communication issue, you should really choose your words more carefully. Especially since it's a poorly constructed question even without the illegal interpretation, people consent to things so just mentioning consent without any things to narrow the topic just leaves people to fill in the blank however they want.
Compare "at what age should kids drink?" Drink what? Soda? Alcohol? Anything other than milk and formula? All are different topics of conversation, but without putting any sort of qualifier in most people are going to go straight to beer since that's normally what people mean when they say "drink" with no other context. Consent is similar, most of the discourse around consent is about sex (or at least physical intimacy in general) so if you don't narrow it down to something else that's where people are going to jump.
And to answer the actual question, it's very similar to the drink example above in that it's a gradually widening range. There is no blanket "now you can consent to all things" line, whether or not it's reasonable for a kid to consent to something is going to vary massively based on what that thing is. Trying a new food is less than watching a horror movie, which is less than learning to drive, which is less than taking up a heroine addiction. You've gotta take these things on a case by case basis, so it's completely nonsense to just ask a very open-ended "yeah, but when does consent start?"
It's further complicated by parents, guardians and other authority figures. For many things these adults need to consent on behalf of the kid, medical consent being the most obvious example. A child might not be old enough to understand the implications and consequences of a major surgery, but they'll also die before they gain that understanding so their medical guardians can step in to consent for them. Parental power isn't absolute here either, you can't consent to letting your 6-year-old work in a factory.
There's a similar gray area on this spectrum, so while piercing their ears is generally seen as something parents can do it's definitely open to conversation... but you really gotta clarify the scope of that conversation.
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u/gentlybeepingheart 2d ago
Was that the full question? Was there any other context added?
The full title of their post was "In your eyes, at what age can a child give consent?" and now he's playing coy and acting like "age of consent" hasn't referred to sex since fucking forever. If he actually cared about getting answers, the title could have been like "In your eyes, at what age can someone consent to things like ear piercings?"
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u/PM_me_ur_claims 2d ago
There is a term for it in civil law, “the age of reason” basically at what age is a child responsible for their own actions. It differs by state but usually 7-10. Parents are still going to be ultimately responsible though.
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u/ThisTooWillEnd 2d ago
To answer your original question, I'm a huge fan of body modification, and I think piercing a baby's ears is not okay.
I do think that slightly older children who can express a desire should be allowed to give consent (with their parents' permission, of course) for piercings that easily heal and have low incidence of complications. If the kid changes their mind at a later age, they can undo it, so I think it's okay. I don't think parents should unilaterally make that decision for their kids though.
For anything more permanent, like cartilage piercings, tattoos, scarification, plugs, etc., I think they should only be allowed for adults. If it requires surgery or expensive procedures to undo, wait for the person to be more mature before opting in.
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u/Snarkywitchmama 2d ago
This. My oldest girl went at 9 happily. Her little sister started begging at three for earrings. Showed her videos and made her wait until a month before her 5th birthday. She sat there stone faced, didn’t flinch, and asked if it was done yet.
They saw videos and were prepared, and the piercer asked both just before applying the clamps if they still wanted it and if it was their choice.
Bodily autonomy matters.
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u/little-bird 2d ago
it’s actually pretty wild that circumcision of newborn male babies is permissible - I’m all for religious freedom but not when it comes to permanently altering the bodies of infants who are incapable of consenting
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u/Unitedfateful 2d ago
We haven’t pierced our daughter’s ears and are waiting for her to tell us she wants to do it. (She’s 4)
Both my wife and I felt it’s up to her and w shouldn’t make the choice for her
Same with my son, we didn’t circumcise him cause well it’s literally body mutiliation (I’m also not circumcised tbf)
I think anything that is permanent should be discussed
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u/AllanfromWales1 2d ago
We breastfed our kids without getting their consent, though they didn't complain at all. Well actually, the 12 year old did look a bit twitchy about it.
I'M KIDDING!! He was fine with it...
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u/DestituteDerriere 2d ago
Who the fuck are you and how did you get inside a secured air traffic control tower wearing jorts and a wifebeater.
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u/ChunkyMooseKnuckle 2d ago
You got banned from AskReddit. I'm failing to see the fuck up..
I haven't waded into that cesspool for well over 5 years. My life is the better for it.
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u/ElGoddamnDorado 2d ago
"Dear Askreddit, what's the sexiest sex you've ever sexed? What was the hottest thing a lonely overweight neckbeard did that immediately made you want to sleep with him?"
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u/bugzaway 2d ago
My favorite is young men pleading with young girls to not hint but just be direct with them. "TELL US YOU LIKE US OR THAT YOU WANT TO FUCK! DONT HINT! PLEEEAAASE!!!"
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u/CubooKing 2d ago
You mean you aren't interested in telling Word1Word2Numbers what is your favorite hobby and five ways in which it is healthy or whatever the fuck the bots are being trained on nowdays?
I'm not even subscribed to that place and I still somehow see posts in my feed.
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u/just_a_friENT 2d ago
For what it's worth, and fuck up aside... I completely agree that children should be involved in decisions regarding their bodies. We aren't piercing our daughters ears until she understands the process and can take part in the cleaning/healing. And I am SO glad we didn't end up having to face the circumcision decision.
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u/fartnight69 2d ago edited 2d ago
People answering "18". What. So before 18 you're a slave that has to get pierced, tattooed and everything else that can come into your parents' head?
Am I not understanding the word "consent" correctly?
(I'm from Moldova, mostly speak russian and romanian.)
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u/Narmatonia 2d ago
Turns out if you word a question the same way a paedophile would, you sound like a paedophile.
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u/omnipotentmonkey 2d ago
"In your eyes, at what age can a child give consent"
If that was exactly the way you phrased it then yeah. you fucked up on clarity to an astonishing degree.
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u/Aschantieis 2d ago
I'm pretty sure I'm the only one here....but if asked for consent my brain doesn't automatically go towards sex. I mean consent can mean a lot of things.
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u/FourScoreTour 2d ago
Try explaining the difference between pedophiles and child molesters. That will get you banned on most subs.
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u/Proof-Elevator-7590 2d ago
For earrings and other major/permanent decisions that don't involve sexual consent, I would say about 8-10 in all seriousness so 2nd-4th grade. Obviously children cannot consent to sex.
And who just hurts a baby by piercing their ears?! Babies don't understand why the pain and they certainly don't care about the aesthetic.
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u/ChefPuree 2d ago
I'm a gay man who made a non-offensive gay joke in a gay sub and got banned by straight reddit.
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u/ThePickleSoup 2d ago
Honestly, the less reddit any one of us has access to, the better.
I commend you o7
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u/Wise-Foundation4051 2d ago
I can’t stop laughing. My oldest’s ears aren’t pierced because consent was a big issue for me with that, so I absolutely get the thought process. Phuking hysterical.
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u/FallOdd5098 2d ago
Am I the only going to ask WHO THE FUCK would pierce a baby’s ears? (?)
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u/Temporary_Ad9362 2d ago
you probably should’ve provided more context or detail. i think it’s good that ppls natural jerk response is to protect children.
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u/supergeek921 2d ago
I mean…. Yeah. If I saw that headline I’d have immediately gone there too. You probably should have put a lot more detail on that post. Lmao!
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u/walkinginthesky 2d ago
Yeah your fault for not specifying. Asking about consent without any context will automatically be associated with sex or intimacy.
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u/JJHall_ID 2d ago
This is awesome! Total unintended consequence of being too vague with your question.
To speak to the goal of your original question, I've always been a fan of waiting until kids are old enough to make decisions on things like getting their ears pierced for themselves. We did with all of our kids, none of them got pierced as babies, they all waited until they were old enough and asked for it.
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u/Jeffrey_Friedl 2d ago
It's like suddenly asking your friend "So, what do you think about it?" after having had a long conversation in your head; friend was not part of that conversation and has no idea what you're talking about, so they're left with "Huh? About what?"
....... except in this case, replace their confusion with concern about a pedophile.
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u/Darth_Stig 2d ago
TBF, that question would certainly piss me off written like that as a parent... After reading your reasoning however, I feel like AR should allow descriptions.
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u/musical_dragon_cat 2d ago
I got insta banned from a furry group on Facebook for making a joke sexual comment in response to "what would you do if dogs could talk?" It was heartwarming, honestly, because I was totally not serious and even cryptic but my fellow furries showed how truly anti-bestiality they are, even when consent is involved. I wear that FU with honor.
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u/IceBear_028 2d ago
What did you learn?
That's right, specificity is your friend.
You could have avoided this by saying it differently, or by clarifying (in CAPS) that you were asking this NON SEXUALLY.
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u/SigmundFreud 2d ago
NTA. You could have been more explicit, but at the end of the day you're not responsible for the average redditor being a hysterical drama queen with terrible reading comprehension.
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u/amandajean419 2d ago
I don't think it's a silly question at all. In terms of bodily autonomy we try to give our kids as much say as we can. We did not choose to circumcise our son at birth and made our girls wait until they were much older (around 10) to pierce their ears. That way they made the decision on their own but were old enough to clean them and take care of the earrings independently. We always allow our kids to say yes or no to hugs and kisses from a relative. They are never forced to just be polite. As far as things like vaccines and schooling we make those decisions because we don't expect them to be able to understand those things. They're still kids and that's why they have parents.
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u/LoginPuppy 2d ago
immediately people are freaking out because they saw "child" and "consent" and started thinking that the question was about sex.
And then they say that you were sexualising minors whilst they literally immediately thought about sex when reading child and consent? That's fucking ironic.
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u/Ryugi 2d ago
tbh I think piercing baby's ears should be illegal because it causes a higher likelihood of health complications (given that babies cannot communicate well enough to say that the wound feels itchy and they can't manage cleaning it themselves.. .and they can swallow earings), and because as they grow the ear skin is stretched differently so it will change the positiosn of the earrings to make them uneven.
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u/Inside_Team9399 2d ago
It's too bad you didn't frame the original question better because it is an interesting question.
It extends to a lot of things like picking their own clothes, hair styles, etc.
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u/redlaWw 2d ago
In general, when asking questions like this, I try to add a bit of a story describing where the question came from. It's not specifically to guard against this type of potentially libelous misinterpretation, but to more generally to help responders answer in a more useful and relevant way.
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u/Forsaken-Energy6579 2d ago
Working in healthcare, consent for minors and vulnerable adults is something we talk about often. I now realize from your post that I should not talk about children and consent in the same sentence in public.
Yeah you f-ed up but at the same time my mind wouldn't have gone straight to sexualizing minors! I understand what you meant, but yeah....ya fucked up because peoples minds always go one way sir.
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u/BluBeams 2d ago
Like a genius I went to AskReddit
Of course you did...Even the folks over there were confused. Next time use your big person words and ask the question you really want to ask. Why would you even leave it open for interpretation?? You're on askreddit 24/7 from what I can see of your post history, you should have known exactly how your weird & vague question would have been answered there.
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u/Queen-of-meme 2d ago
Something tells me there's no way you could have posted that in other words without everyone losing their shit. There's tons of parents on here who has pierced their kids ears and other (none sexual!) things. You don't want to insinuate that they did it without consent unless you want to get death threat letters to your home adress "aRE yOU cAlling mE a bAd ParENT?!" of course they call you pedo they have no reason to use temperance online, and neither do mods.
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u/ash3n 2d ago
The phrase “age of consent” is about sex. It’s honestly a little baffling that you are surprised at the response you got
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u/SheepD0g 2d ago
Now THIS is a proper TIFU. Strong work.