r/AITAH 2d ago

UPDATE: AITA for “performing” in front of the camera my mom forced me to have in my room? NSFW

Hello everyone, as you know from my last post, I jerked it in front of a surveillance camera my mom put in my room, as a way to really get the message across that I wasn’t going to take that type of treatment.

So today, after I got off from work, I sat down to have a conversation with my mom. Initially, she ignored me and tried to avoid talking about my smooth strokes, but my dad intervened and insisted that we address the situation.

Firstly, I apologized for my actions. While some of you believe I did nothing wrong, I recognize there were better ways to communicate my frustration that didn’t involve tricking my mom into seeing me butt naked with a log in my hand.

However, I emphasized that her treatment towards me has been unfair and unnecessary. At 17, nearing adulthood, I believe I deserve more privacy and trust, not less. My dad supported me, pointing out that approaching the issue with more openness could have avoided this situation altogether.

My mom surprised me by apologizing too, admitting that she feared losing control over me and worried I might "fall from grace" like my older brother, who has gone NC with our family due to his views on Mormonism. She confessed that she had already begun arranging a marriage for me in an attempt to keep me grounded within the church, which has only added to my anxiety.

Sorry that there were no crazy new moments in this update, but I feel like these stories are much better when there is an honest, good ending. It just goes to show how many problems can be fixed with good, honest communication between one another.

Oh and also, I’m going to speak to my sister soon and if anything interesting happens I’ll leave another update.

TLDR: I became the smooth stroke king in front of a camera my mom installed in my room to assert my privacy. After a long conversation, she apologized for her actions, fearing I might stray from our religious community like my older brother.

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350 comments sorted by

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u/HelloJunebug 2d ago

Well you just dropped a whole other bomb. Your mother has arranged a marriage for you? Do you want that? I’m sorry but the horror stories I hear from friends and family about not just Mormonism but arranged marriages within these highly controlled religions is rough. Don’t do something you don’t want.

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u/SwimmingJello2199 2d ago

Ya your parents didn't marry you off as a young teen to keep you trapped in a religious cult filled with sexual abuse and child abuse?

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u/HelloJunebug 2d ago

For real.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/ixlzlxi 1d ago

Inconsistent thinking? From a devout Mormon??

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u/DivineTarot 1d ago

I mean...it's rather in keeping with what I've heard from religious households. A child elicits claims that they're not exactly feeling the religion thing so the parents response is not to encourage their child to do soul searching, speak with some people and read things of their own volition, but to clamp down with more church, more sunday school, more more more until they believe again.

I suppose the excessive response makes a certain "sense", but logically there's a failure to realize a need to take a step back and allow the person a measure of autonomy to feel themselves out. If you deprive a person the freedom to choose their path they'll ultimately jerk back on the reigns and ride off into the sunset without looking back.

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u/macgyver-me-this 1d ago

Possible bot account. u/HorseLawyer420 said almost exactly the same thing in a comment posted 5 hours before this one.

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u/SmoothTalkingFool 1d ago

Maybe that’s why they misused (and misspelled) the horseback/reins metaphor? “Jerking back on the reins” is not going to make “riding off into the sunset” any easier.

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u/protestprincess 2d ago

Needs to set up drama for the next post he comes up with

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u/knittedjedi 1d ago

Needs to set up drama for the next post he comes up with

Karma farmers always take it one step too far lol.

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u/Xtwa 2d ago

Honestly I don’t know. My mom’s marriage was arranged, and they turned out fine, but I don’t know how much I really believe in god or mormonism. I think she noticed my doubts and that’s probably part of the reason this whole situation began in the first place.

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u/not_another_mom 2d ago edited 1d ago

“They turned out fine”

Did they? Did they, though???? Your mom put a surveillance camera in your bedroom.

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u/-whiteroom- 2d ago

You should pay attention here OP

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u/LopsidedPalace 1d ago

And your dad's response was not shutting it down violently with all the condemnation and disgust it deserves.

They're both madder than a bag full of wet cats- it just seems perfectly normal from your perspective because you have no thing else to base it on but their behavior, so you don't actually have a baseline for actual normal.

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u/island_lord830 1d ago

And that's why his parents arranged marriage "turned out fine ". Dear ol dad goes along to get along.

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u/wolfysworld 1d ago

I agree the mom’s behavior is unhinged and as a person recovering from religious abuse, I also feel enraged by the marrying off bit but I don’t think OP was saying his parents as individuals are fine, I think he is saying that their arranged marriage seems to have turned out fine. From my own experience, you can’t actually be fine with self or marriage with the weight of religion like that sitting on your chest, but to 17 yr old OP it may honestly look fine. It’s not of course.

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u/Thisisthenextone 1d ago

he is saying that their arranged marriage seems to have turned out fine

His parents couldn't have a conversation to solve this until something physical had already happened (the camera going in) even though they disagreed, and their treatment of their children already cost them one child.

The husband could only speak his mind once the kid had already pushed back on the mother.

I don't think their marriage is fine.

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u/HelloJunebug 2d ago

I was raised Christian. My husband was also raised Christian. The only thing we respected from our parents once we became adults was waiting to live together until we got married. Which I regret. We were 22 when we got married. I wish we would have lived together prior. And wish we would have waited to get married. I see people now getting married at 22 and I’m like wtf it’s sooo young haha we are 36 now and been through a lot. Definitely wasn’t easy dealing with all that plus parental pressure that young. I imagine your mom wants you to married super fast, so you’ll be “safe” and “locked down”.

The thing is, your parents made their life choices, whether they caved to family pressure or not, you should have the same opportunity to make your own life choices. Mormonism is a dangerous religion and it’s hard to see that from the inside. You don’t know what your mom went through to “seemed to turn out ok”. I learned a ton about my parents once I moved out and had some space. It’s really so different than we think.

I’m not talking out of my ass or from a place of judgement, just from experience with friends and family who had to get out for their own health and safety.

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u/SnooWords4839 2d ago

Thank you for sharing a 1st hand account on how it isn't easy to marry young.

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u/HelloJunebug 2d ago

I’m just happy my husband and I made it out the other side happier. Doesn’t always work out that way. If we stuck in a religion we couldn’t get out of or had controlling parents, man I dunno what would have happened. My husband and I are both very strolled willed, independent, and don’t take shit so it probably wouldn’t have mattered, but it would have been much harder.

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u/SnooWords4839 1d ago

I married at 19, hubby was 20. No religion involved. We have been married for 41 years, it takes work and strength to be where we are.

MIL wanted our marriage blessed by a priest, never happened and I don't miss her 10 years after her death.

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u/HelloJunebug 1d ago

Good for you guys! We’ve been together for 17. Lots of work for sure but so worth it.

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u/Jones-bones-boots 1d ago

Young people want to have sex. If they are waiting until marriage then they will marry young. I lived in the Bible Belt for 20 years where my boys mainly grew up. So many of their friends got married the second they graduated college…all of them virgins. Safe to say my kids will not be marrying that young. Lol

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u/HelloJunebug 1d ago

lol that’s the problem with the whole chastity purity abstinence bullshit. I’m well aware tho, I grew up with it.

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u/Jones-bones-boots 1d ago

My 82 year old mom grew up Catholic and says “What a crock of shit. We all just married who we were going with at the time just to get laid. I should have been a slut instead!” 😂😂😂

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u/HelloJunebug 1d ago

Lmao that’s hilarious

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u/FirebirdWriter 1d ago

The women in my family tend to go through husbands like water because they marry for sex even after the first rotten match. I have been married once. He was an asshole. He died during our divorce so technically I am a widow. I will never be married again. Mostly because of the paperwork making it hard to get safe if I screw up my choices. It is tragic to me how religion and appeasing people can cause so many generations of bad choices

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u/Jones-bones-boots 1d ago

I’m sorry about your marriage and even if he was an asshole that still had to be hard.

My mom’s side is Irish Catholic and the divorce rate in our family is insanely low. I told my mom “That’s not necessarily a good thing. Some of you are miserably together but that damn Catholic guilt makes you stick it out at all costs.” Geeze.

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u/StarlightM4 2d ago

Sorry, OP, but your update has just shown your mother yo be even more unhinged and controlling than ever. She's planning on marrying you off? You are 17 ffs, all you should be thinking about is going to college and getting as far away from this shitshow as you can. Your brother went nc? Wonder why!

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u/JuliaX1984 2d ago

Look at how your mom turned out -- is that what you want to become? If not, get out as soon as she can't legally stop you. I'm so sorry you were born into this. Teaching not-concretely-real religious beliefs to your kids is one thing -- blackmailing them into agreeing with you or else is another.

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u/calamitylamb 2d ago

Your mom created child porn of you because she was so desperate for control. She absolutely did not turn out fine lmao

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u/CenterofChaos 2d ago

Bro... This is even more insane behavior than the camera. She was going to marry you off. Marriage is a huge commitment, many people consider it life long. I'll assume whomever you were off too will be mormon and not want to do any family planning. Gambling with having to support a whole ass family being barely 18 is frankly a raw deal for you. And a raw deal for whomever is selected, they deserve to marry someone equally yoked. Being unsure about the very building blocks of your relationship is bad no matter what you believe.    

If nothing else tell your parents you want to honor the commitment marriage is by being self sufficient first. You can't be a good providing husband or father at this point in your life. Both should understand that. 

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u/YoloKraize 2d ago

I find it funny you then type "feared losing control over me" yeah no shit, welcome to religion. Might be a good idea to reach out to your brother, seems like he has his head the right place.

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u/HeyYouGuyyyyyyys 2d ago

Given the intensity of your religious upbringing, I've revised my opinion of your behavior in front of the camera. I used to think you were the king. Now I think you are the GOAT.

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u/UrsinetheMadBear 2d ago

They turned out fine?

Your mother made CP of you because she is incapable of trusting anyone. They did not turn out fine.

And no fucking wonder your brother left.

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u/Fun-Frosting-5673 2d ago

Oh no I do not recommend it. I have a bunch of Mormon friends that cut me off once they got married and are now in abusive relationships with no way out

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u/Top-Effect-4321 2d ago

Your mom is literally a crazy person. Find out if she’s arranging a marriage for your sister too. Watch it be some old creep twice her age. 

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u/maryjaneFlower 2d ago

Keep all your beliefs secret until you can get out and go no contact

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u/Single_Vacation427 1d ago

So your father is basically a coward that lets his wife put a camera on their son.

Their other son does not talk to them.

Do you really think this turned out fine?

You really need to go away for some time, go to college or get a job in another state, then see if you actually think what you are going through is fine or normal.

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u/HelloJunebug 2d ago

I also want to say, maybe their marriage is ok, but your mom does not seem ok. She’s so controlling because of what she went through in her life and the control Mormonism has over her and her life that she put you through all of this cause she’s afraid you are going to leave. It’s wild. She’s not ok. No one in that religion is ok.

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u/Garden_gnome1609 2d ago

It's not "fine" to put a camera in your 17 year old's room and it's not "fine" to justify it with religion and it's not "fine" for your dad to just passively go along with this till you had to solve the problem yourself. Your parents and their relationshp are absolutely not "fine".

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u/sylbug 1d ago

They didn't turn out fine. Your mom is controlling to a dangerous degree. Religious abuse is abuse.

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u/TheGoldenSpud 2d ago

Dude, its a cult and she is trying to keep you enmeshed. Believe what you like but go out and experience the world and everything before you decide and get hitched and tied down in the church, because leaving later in life, especially with kids will be a horror.

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u/FirebirdWriter 1d ago

They did not. What she did is abuse. Your brother left for a reason. Reach out and see if he will talk to you about this without the "go to hell do not pass go" goggles. Listen to him about what it's like away from your family. This doesn't mean you need to do the same thing but rather marrying someone because you think this is normal doesn't mean it is healthy and things will not get better.

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u/tropicsandcaffeine 2d ago

Tell your mom if she keeps trying to force you into an arranged marriage you will release the video.

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u/grayblue_grrl 1d ago

Yeah... no one is "fine"

Your mother is making desperate moves that she shouldn't have to make.
Including arranged teen marriage. Insane!

You should talk to your brother.
And maybe check out ex mormon reddit subs.

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u/Maria_Dragon 1d ago

If you have doubts and work through them, you know your faith is real. If you continue to have doubts, you may choose a different path (which is also fine). If you marry someone arranged through the Church, you will feel split between being true to yourself and splitting your family.

Don't marry for any reason other than love.

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u/Lizardgirl25 1d ago

Was it a wanted arranged marriage between them though like both of them wanted to get married and so they asked their parents to help them find a partner? Because that is the only okay way for an ‘arranged’ marriage to happen kid.

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u/NotNobody_Somebody 1d ago

Dude, if you think an arranged marriage at 17 is not some new crazy stuff, I am really worried for you.

17 is WAY TOO YOUNG. Is your mother TRYING to drive you away?

It is normal to question religion. It should be encouraged. Ask your mum why she thinks that you will suddenly start being a bad person if you stop going to her church. Does she think that you will completely lose your moral convictions and start murdering and stealing?

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u/Locurilla 2d ago

it depends on what you want in life. do you want to do other things besides just marriage. do you want to marry later? how will you actually provide for a family being that young. maybe wait for this marriage thing, get skills/job/life experience and then you can marry either within or outside of the church.

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u/Thisisthenextone 1d ago

My mom’s marriage was arranged, and they turned out fine

Did they?

She's a control freak who is driving her own children away with her issues.

Your father can't have a serious discussion with her without her first physically going to drastic measures.

You sure their marriage is good?

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u/Puzzleheaded_Ad7742 1d ago

Sure. Your dad participated in an orgy. So much fiction, man. Keep some twists for the next post.

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u/Wildlife_Njoyer20 1d ago edited 1d ago

If your mother noticed that you have doubts in your faith, she could've just simply educated you more about your religion and after that it is up to you to decide whether you are convinced or not, because I too am from a religious background and that is how it's done in a healthy way.

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u/StrangledInMoonlight 1d ago

OP’s mom: “I’m afraid this son is going to drop mormanism and go Nc, so I’m going to clench him in my fist so hard he can’t escape! I’m going to put a camera in his room (as if that would show he’s not Mormon anymore) and  arrange a marriage for a 17 year old boy! He totally won’t get upset at me controlling him and leave like my other son! No way!”

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u/HelloJunebug 1d ago

Wild isn’t it lol

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u/littlebabygorilla 1d ago

That will not even be “arranged”

That’s just going to be a forced marriage on a CHILD to keep him under her control.

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u/jhurst7305 1d ago

Just gonna put this out there, I have been a practicing Mormon my whole life, raised in Utah, etc., and I have never met church member who had an arranged marriage. That is NOT something that is commonly done in the church.

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u/HelloJunebug 1d ago

I didn’t say it was. I was just going off of what OP said. There’s always pockets of things that go on inside a religion that aren’t widespread though. The mom is likely doing it tho to control and keep the son close.

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u/Intelligent_Motor_36 1d ago

I just want to add that arranged marriages are against the true gospel of the Church of Jesus Christ (Mormonism). Anyone who says otherwise is misinformed or misunderstood or something.

That being said, no one should be forced into a religion at all, it's up to you.

No one should be forced to marry someone.

Please do not take my correction of the Mormon religion as support of these parents. You deserve privacy and respect. Sorry it took to this point.

NTA

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u/HelloJunebug 1d ago

All good. I wasn’t saying they were a part of Mormonism. But there’s clearly a reason this mom is trying to use it, and she’s a Mormon. It’s about control.

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u/Intelligent_Motor_36 1d ago

I absolutely agree, thanks for understanding!!

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u/bythebrook88 2d ago

She confessed that she had already begun arranging a marriage for me

Please, please tell your sister about this. If your mother wants to arrange a marriage for you, she definitely will want to do the same for your sister. It may also be why your brother is NC - either that, or her generally controlling ways.

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u/Head_Razzmatazz7174 2d ago

I agree. From my understanding, young women have very little say, if any, when it comes to marriage in the Mormon church. I know of some very niche group of Mormons that still practice 'one man, many wives." It doesn't sound like your family was part of that, but your sister is going to have a hard time once she is considered 'of marriageable age."

Mormons have been known to divorce (my cousin converted and married a Mormon girl and after two kids they realized this was not working).

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u/Justatinybaby 2d ago

Lately they’ve just been killing their wives and sometimes kids when it doesn’t work out.. Mormon men have a history violence and Utah usually tops the charts for DV.

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u/OlesiaMaeve 1d ago

Aussie Ex-Mo here; it depends on the area regarding arranged marriages. From my experiences here, you're expected to marry Quickly to "stay out of trouble" and "start your eternal family," but no arrangements beyond " so and so's a nice young man."

Regardless, she Will in fact have a Very hard time once she hits "marriageable age."

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u/HorseLawyer420 2d ago

"I don't want my son to go NC with me so I'm going to install a security camera in his room and get him in an arranged marriage" is a completely unhinged way of thinking. It sort of makes sense in a highly-authoritarian mindset but it should be obvious to anyone who lives in reality that it will only push you away.

I wish you luck in your future therapy sessions.

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u/Dentheloprova 2d ago

Dude, you are in cult.

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u/kiss_my_assets 1d ago

I was raised in that cult. Thankfully, my mother joined after my elsest sibling was born and my dad never did. He's not at all religious. My mom was hurt when I quit going to church, but she didn't try to disown me or anything.

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u/Dentheloprova 1d ago

Good for you, but l am afraid OP is not so lucky

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u/Ok_Distribution_2603 2d ago

Sign me up for Team Brother.

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u/IMakeANewAcctEvryday 2d ago

For real though.

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u/fatmonicadancing 2d ago

Yeah the fact this whole thing is a Mormon shit show makes it make more sense. Gross.

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u/Sad_Donut_7902 1d ago

I support anyone that manages to get themselves out of that cult

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u/jamiemvil 2d ago

i'm sorry, SHE WAS ARRANGING A MARRIAGE FOR HER 17 YEAR OLD CHILD??!!!!! this is beyond disgusting. no offense OP, i feel like older brother made the right decision going NC especially knowing now that she's capable of things like this. good lord, this lady is a piece of work. i'm happy she apologized and admitted everything, but it's honestly super harrowing knowing how far she was willing to go (and how much further she would've gone) just to keep control of you.

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u/RosieBarb 2d ago

Yeah, I can see why the brother fled.

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u/cjdavda 1d ago

How much would you bet that his “bride” would be younger than 17?

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u/Top-Bit85 2d ago

Wow. She is arranging a marriage for you??? You think this is a happy ending????

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u/max_schenk_ 1d ago

Happy ending was in the original post

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u/Magdovus 2d ago

You need to get hold of your brother.

First, you need to tell him about your little show. Make sure he's sat down and isn't taking a drink when you tell him, because he's probably going to bust a gut laughing.

Second, you need to know about life on the outside. You say he went NC. It's more likely your parents went NC when he escaped.

Third, DO NOT GET MARRIED. Arranged or otherwise, you really shouldn't until you've lived a little. And no mission trips or anything - they're really designed to isolate you at the time when you're most likely to ask questions and start to grow away from the cult.

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u/Oprah_Pwnfrey 2d ago

The reason she is apologizing is she wants you to accept the arranged marriage.

Do not accept. Consider what she did, that was some spectacularly bad judgement. Just wrong on every single level. Can you honestly trust her judgement in selecting a life partner for you?! Fuck no.

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u/some-hippy 2d ago

“My first kid went no contact, so I’m gonna really bear down on the next one. I’m sure that’ll work out better”

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u/BosmangEdalyn 2d ago

Oh man! Knowing that your mom is MORMON makes you jerking it to the camera SO much more hilarious!!!

I hope you find your way out. Ex Mormon TikTok is there for you if and when you’re ever ready to shatter your belief that any of it is true (as well as to illuminate you on the church history that is SO scandalous and interesting!)

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u/EquivalentBend9835 2d ago

Might want to contact you brother to see if he can help you leave. About religion..my husband is Catholic, I’m Episcopalian. Neither one of us currently attend church. We reared our sons to seek and question. Our oldest chose the Methodist church when he was 19. Younger son hasn’t chosen. Choosing how, when, or if to worship is an adult decision. Don’t let someone interfere with you path toward (or away) from God.

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u/HarveySnake 2d ago

 she feared losing control over me

Some day kid you'll realize just how unbelievably wrong and awful someone is when they feel entitled to control other people.

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u/Ruining_Ur_Synths 2d ago

My mom surprised me by apologizing too, admitting that she feared losing control over me and worried I might "fall from grace" like my older brother, who has gone NC with our family due to his views on Mormonism. She confessed that she had already begun arranging a marriage for me in an attempt to keep me grounded within the church, which has only added to my anxiety.

Did they remove the camera?

fucking run. You were right to do what you did. Report mom to the police for making child porn.

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u/fatmonicadancing 2d ago

Yaaaassss I like this.

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u/Academic-Ocelot4670 2d ago edited 2d ago

She confessed that she had already begun arranging a marriage for me in an attempt to keep me grounded within the church

Yeah right this is gonna go sooo well for you...

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u/Sea-Ad9057 2d ago

there is a reason your brother escaped and it seems like it was legitimate

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u/Nedstarkclash 2d ago

Dude. Escape the cult while you can. Do not agree to an arranged marriage.

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u/ZombieZookeeper 2d ago

No crazy new updates? Your insane mother tried to arrange a marriage to keep you in the cult.

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u/zinna42069 1d ago

Your brother didn’t “fall from grace”. He escaped to safety. Get yourself out, please. I know she apologized, but that doesn’t change the fact that your mother put a camera in your room. It’s predatory and disgusting.

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u/MikeReddit74 2d ago

NTA. Your brother had the good sense to get far away from your “religion.” You should follow his example…quickly.

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u/Sad_Donut_7902 1d ago

There's the actual reason. Man the Mormon church is a fucking cult, I'm happy for the people like your older brother that manage to actually leave it.

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u/No_Use_9124 2d ago

Yikes. So you're leaving right after high school, yes? Because your mom has lost her mind. See if you can move in w/your brother for a bit.

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u/roadkill4snacks 2d ago

I think god would prefer a small church of sincere believers, than a large population of trapped bitter skeptical fraudsters…

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u/Effective_Bus_9924 2d ago

I’d really look into Mormonism. There’s plenty out there disproving it. Lots of great podcasts about it. Also you are so young and have your whole life to live don’t get married yet!

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u/Electronic_World_894 2d ago

Do not get married. Go to college, figure yourself out. Do not get married. You are 17!

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u/wlfwrtr 2d ago

Now you know why your brother is NC. She probably tried forcing the same thing on him. See if you can get in contact with him. He may have some insightful things to tell you.

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u/Croatoan457 2d ago

Yeah OP I don't think your brother has been NC for a reason. Dropping the Mormon bomb and arranged marriage things is massively insane... You need to escape too. Your brother didn't fall from grace, he left a cult.

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u/NobodyofGreatImport 2d ago

I think there's a reason your older brother went NC with you all. Presumably, he was watched less than you, and what did they learn from their mistake? Instead of letting your children grow up and experience adolescence, keep them tight under your thumb so they have no privacy anywhere, least of all their own room. And the fact she's trying to arrange a marriage for you is an entirely separate red flag, and probably another tactic to keep you in the church. My friend said that "escaping Mormonism" isn't that hard (technically, he's still Mormon, just a Jack Mormon), but seeing this, I'm reconsidering.

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u/CantaloupeSpecific47 2d ago

Please, a "log" in your hand? Sounds like an adolescent fantasy.

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u/misteraustria27 2d ago

You are not fine. You are in a cult. Your brother did the right thing by leaving. Talk to him and hear his side.

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u/Pantokraterix 2d ago

It isn’t really about your safety if she’s reviewing footage when nothing happened: it’s about monitoring you.

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u/Only_Machine_3977 2d ago

Your dads still a bitch for allowing the camera to be installed

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u/HygorBohmHubner 2d ago

She confessed that she had already begun arranging a marriage for me

Full! Stop!

She just admitted that she arranged a marriage for you, which you clearly had no idea about! OP, you need to get the hell away from that house ASAP! Your mom might've apologized, but I don't buy it!

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u/SusanBHa 2d ago

Maybe secretly contact your older brother and get out before you are married off to someone you don’t even know?

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u/Borsti17 2d ago

Your main goal should be to get away from that cult. Your mum didn't learn shit from this.

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u/-whiteroom- 2d ago

Your brother was the smart one.

I swear, the mormons posting on here are the best advocates for sinking that whole religion.

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u/Ok-Hedgehog-1646 1d ago

The mention of Mormonism just explained everything. Mormon moms get super crazy over their kids.

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u/Nervous_Ad3217 1d ago

I hope you can get away from that cult

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u/AbjectPromotion4833 2d ago

Mormonism is a CULT.

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u/smappyfunball 2d ago

Oh god they’re mormons

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u/nightshadow009 1d ago edited 1d ago

Having been born into and grown up in the LDS church I can tell you: 1) Arranged marriages are not a thing. I have never met ANYONE in my 30+ years in the church who had an arranged marriage. 2) Masturbating is considered a serious sexual sin according to the church, and if your parents are actually deeply religious and practicing, they would have had you in front of your bishop before you could blink. So with those 2 things, you are most likely in a branch that split off from the main church. I'm curious as to which one.

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u/Starfoxy 1d ago

I doubt the guy is any branch of Mormon, I think this is a creative writing exercise and threw in the mormon angle since lots of people are quick to believe mormon parents being over-the-top controlling without and would buy lots of unrealistic things. Yeah, mormon parents can be very controlling and high-pressure, but only in very specific ways.

For one, absolutely zero mormon moms talk about their kids 'falling from grace.' Leaving the church, falling astray, going inactive, sure-- but falling from grace? Ask your committed anti-mormons to explain how much mormons talk about grace.

For two, a devout mormon mom would be appalled at the idea of her 17 year old son getting married. He has to go on a mission first.

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u/Stikkychaos 1d ago

Yeah no, your brother is right. You're a part of a cult, dude.

EDIT: actually, I'm pretty sure the bride won't fancy an arranged marriage. I suggest a sneaky way to get both of you out once you get hitched.

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u/FatBloke4 1d ago

She confessed that she had already begun arranging a marriage for me in an attempt to keep me grounded within the church, which has only added to my anxiety.

You need to nip this in the bud. Just tell your parents straight that you don't want an arranged marriage and that you will marry if/when you find the right person and you both want to get married. You're too young to get married rn.

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u/EfficientIndustry423 1d ago

Oh fuck, you’re Mormon. Your brother seems like a smart person. Get the fuck out of the church. She wanted to control you and admitted it and used church as her excuse. That crazy shit. And an arranged marriage. What the actual fuck year is it? Run. Run. Run.

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u/katycmb 1d ago

Your brother didn’t go NC because of Mormonism. He went NC because your mother is completely unhinged. Mormonism is a very small part of that.

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u/EmptyPomegranete 2d ago

Mormons are the scum of the earth.

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u/Justatinybaby 2d ago

I escaped Mormonism finally in my early 20’s and had to go no contact with my family because they absolutely could not leave it alone.

The Mormon church is a cult. You can’t see it when you’re in it but when you leave and actually live a real life and have normal experiences? You start to realize just how much you’ve been controlled.

Your mother put a camera in your room and watched you masturbate dude. Because she was afraid you weren’t going to be the same religion as her. That is insanity.

Talk to your brother man. I bet he’s got some stories for you.

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u/raksha25 2d ago

If you aren’t sure about being Mormon, don’t marry the person your mom is trying to arrange a marriage with. I’ll admit, I’m ex-Mormon, so I’m VERY biased. But seriously, your mom is a bit..out there.

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u/SnooWords4839 2d ago

Oh FFS, you didn't mention being in a cult! No wonder your older brother went no contact.

BTW, don't agree ever to an arranged marriage!

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u/Scared-Listen6033 2d ago

A year ago I would've fought tooth and nail about Mormonism being full of nice ppl, now with so many charges of "normal" Mormons and hearing things like arranged marriages and cameras in a teens room and I'm starting to believe the ppl who call this a cult. I won't go that far but I'm really starting to understand that stance.

What your mom did with the camera is illegal. You cannot put a camera in a space that has an expectation of privacy like this. She got the show she deserved.

As far as a "fall from grace", raising a child who isn't scared to leave a faith, change their faiths or go far deeper into the one that's raised in is a sign that you've raised a person who is a free thinker and isn't scared to follow their hearts. Many religions essentially shun a person if they leave the church and THAT is cruel and wrong. You either raise a mindless minion or an independent adult who is an asset to society. If you choose to leave the faith it's BC it's not for you, not BC you have a "fall from grace". Your brother leaving the faith is NOT A BAD THING. Why should anyone live in the confines of something that they don't believe in?

I was raised Catholic, I switched to fundamental Baptist and then eventually was no actual named church and I'm now almost 40 and I'm very spiritual but I'm not tied to a church! My children were raised Catholic and Christian and one doesn't believe in anything at 22 and the other is quite strong in his faith but doesn't attend church unless in Italy where it's more expected. My own brother, also raised Catholic, is more spiritual and says his beliefs are more in line with Buddhism.

Sorry for the long comment, I just find it sad that your parents and their faith are willing to cross so many lines, including legal ones, in order to try and force you to stay. Your parents should be happy your happy and same with your brother and any other siblings.

I'm sad for you. Wherever your OWN FAITH leads you I genuinely wish you happiness and contentment and I hope your parents will realize it's not a fail to have children who are able to take the lessons they learned while growing up and be amazing adults and make personal decisions even if it's against the grain!

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u/WholeAd2742 2d ago

NTA

You should have contacted law enforcement

Your mother just helped make child porn

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u/JuWoolfie 1d ago

Dude… I think you might be in a cult

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u/Stock-Big-6905 1d ago

Of course another parent is afraid of their child leaving the cult, all religion is poison, and good for nothing. Your brother had it right going no contact

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u/Pharreal87 1d ago

I wonder why your older sibling went no contact. I can't possibly see any reason to do that with a mother who acts like this. /s

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u/Mike15321 1d ago

Oh, your parents are Mormon. It all makes sense now

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u/burner_suplex 1d ago

  she feared losing control over me and worried I might "fall from grace" like my older brother, who has gone NC with our family due to his views on Mormonism. She confessed that she had already begun arranging a marriage for me in an attempt to keep me grounded within the church

Sorry that there were no crazy new moments in this update

hold up

She admitted that she fears not being able to control you and is trying to marry you off at 17 to force you to stay in the church. IMO, that's PRETTY crazy. Dude, as soon as you can, get out. I wouldn't be surprised if your brother went NC, not because of his views on Mormonism but because of your mom's controlling behavior. It's only going to escalate as you get older and start exercising your freedom.

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u/Thisisthenextone 1d ago

Sounds like the brother got away.

Sadly many crazy cult parents like this (and yes Mormonism is a cult) cause so much damage to their children that they self medicate through drugs.

Hopefully your brother is doing well.

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u/dinahdog 1d ago

You need to follow your brother

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u/JanetInSpain 1d ago

Your mom is 100% the reason your brother went NC. That type of helicopter parent frequently ends up "abandoned" and whines and frets because they HaVe No ClUe WhAt HaPpEnNeD.

Also, do NOT let your mom arrange a marriage for you. Mormonism is a cult. Do you have ANY friends who are not in the church? Contact your brother if you can and have a long talk with him about how nice life "on the outside" is. You remain NTA and your mom continues to be the asshole.

updateme

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u/RaspberryAnnual4306 1d ago

It’s wild that you don’t consider her arranging a marriage to keep you in her cult a crazy moment.

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u/JosKarith 1d ago

" she had already begun arranging a marriage for me"

" there were no crazy new moments in this update"

Only one of these statements can be true. Run, OP, run.

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u/Opposite-Fortune- 1d ago

So your older brother fucked off because of your mum’s controlling bullshit, and she thought it was a great idea to double down?

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u/JonnelOneEye 1d ago

What the fuck did I just read. Your parents are unhinged. Your brother is 1000% right to go NC. You are literally in a cult and they are trying to keep you in it through any means necessary. I'd advise you to leave and go NC asap.

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u/soundaddicttt 1d ago

DUDE I CALLED IT I read your OG post and was like "this kid's mom has got to be Mormon". My mormon mom did something so similar when I was 17. I beg you dude, please go post in r/exmo. Theyre very nice people and they will not berate you but they do have excellent resources for you and you'll hear a surprising amount of similar experiences. What your mother did is straight up, flat out abuse whether or not you recognize it, even if she apologized. I'm a bit like your older brother, left the church and became the hated sheep of the family. I really hope you can get the freedom of leaving the church too. Life is way better w/o it.

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u/therealhairyyeti 1d ago

Cults tend to make people act crazy

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u/Typhoon556 NSFW 🔞 1d ago

Oh, holy hell. I think your older brother had the right idea. A branch of my family are Mormons, and the current generation of young adults have all gone NC with the Mormon branch of our family because of the amount of control their parent attempt to or actual do exert over them and their personal lives. One of my cousins is gay, and was raised in the Mormon church and all hell broke loose for a while in the family when he came out. He is still NC with them, while close with the rest of the family,

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u/T1Coconuts 1d ago

You should go over to r/exmormon. Went to church as a kid and left. Parents stayed in. There are lots of reasons not to stay in. I hate reading stories of people’s missions and you are starting to get close to that age. Btw as a mom I feel a camera in a room is ridiculous.

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u/PerformerIntrepid163 1d ago

Arranged marriage??? No wonder why your brother went no contact..

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u/griffex 1d ago

Your brother sounds like he had the right idea.

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u/tmink0220 1d ago

Mormonism is my childhood religion, Please do not marry in the church, it is a cult. Read the CES letters. You can find them online.

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u/MyToothEnts 1d ago

OP: sorry there were no crazy updates

Also OP: my mom confessed she had begun arranging a marriage for me

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u/Ok_Scholar_8656 2d ago

I really hope this is bait and not true.

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u/TheShortStack87 2d ago

I grew up mormon, not at all a follower anymore, but if she is all gung ho about the teachings is she not planning on shipping you on a mission?

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u/visitor987 2d ago

If your in the US if your over 13 and not disabled putting a camera in your bedroom or in a bathroom is a felony if it records a minor without clothes You mother could get prison time.

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u/CryptoBeatles 2d ago

My man... RUN! Just run. Do the same thing your brother did.

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u/Spare_Lemon6316 2d ago

Holy shit, the arranged marriage was a hell twist

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u/TarzanKitty 2d ago

Hope your brother can help you escape once you turn 18.

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u/p_0456 2d ago

I can see why your brother left. Your mom is crazy. You’re your own person, people aren’t meant to be controlled.

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u/Fabulous-Shallot1413 2d ago

Holy christ, are your parents' fundamentalist? If they are, we need to be having a completely different conversation .

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u/TheGoldenSpud 2d ago

Holy crap this just gets worse. Your NC Brother saw the light...you are in a cult!!!!

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u/Reparteey 1d ago

Oh man you getting force marriage on top of this? Your nc brother is the only smart one in this story

good luck with undoing the brainwashing someday op

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u/heiongyeong 1d ago

With them smooth strokes. All them mormon girls be tryna get in ur pants now. Nta

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u/GingerHerbs 1d ago

"Sorry there were no crazy new moments in this update" Your mother arranging a marriage for a 17yo without you knowing isn't crazy? Hitchens was right, religion is poison.

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u/comfreak1347 1d ago

Dude holy shit, what your mom is doing is straight-up abuse. No sugarcoating it.

Your mom was probably the one to initiate the NC with your brother. Get ahold of him, talk to him, ask him questions, and DO NOT LET YOUR MOM KNOW.

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u/kazisukisuk 1d ago

NTA.

This is why it should be illegal to bring minors to church.

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u/Deansdiatribes 1d ago

Religion extremes are always going to be around because they think they are normal.

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u/Tall-Negotiation6623 1d ago

I think it’s wild your mom was trying to prevent you from going NC by putting a camera in your room and essentially pushing you away from her. That’s an insane logic. But I’m concerned that your mom is trying to arrange a marriage for you. Please don’t ever do something you don’t want to do 100 % yourself. If your mom’s reasoning is to not make you go NC, she’s going about this the wrong way. I would guess that the reason why your brother went NC is because he wasn’t allowed to live his own life, so putting a camera in your room and trying to arrange a marriage seems like she doing all the wrong things.

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u/Global_Papaya7336 1d ago

Call your brother.

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u/SalemsLot19 1d ago

Your brother was the smart one. You're mother is essentially turning you into a slave to her cult. Run. Run as fast as you can.

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u/MicIsOn 1d ago

Hah. What I thought was a fake post turned out to be a sad post.

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u/EnergeticHouseplant 1d ago

Aaaand now we further know why big bro went NC. Arranged marriage? Fuck that noise! Controlling and forcing outdated arranged marriages? Nah mate! Go find real love and not be forced into a marriage before you can even enjoy life and self discovery! There's a reason my dad made sure his mormon sperm donor never knew about my siblings and I, and why my mom never answered the door to Mormons.

Btw, you can have a good relationship with God without the crazy stuff to go with it. Some Christians cut out the church middleman and read the Bible, talk to God everyday, and pray before meals.

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u/beccadahhhling 1d ago

I was right. In your last post, I said this was all about her need to control and that she felt you were taking that control away.

This is even more disturbing.

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u/Subjective_Box 1d ago

JFC, older brother decided to go his own way (like a NORMAL person who grows up) and had to lose his family for that.

Sounds nice.

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u/moonygooney 1d ago

There a many organized and unorganized groups who will help you leave a high control ideology. Families ties may be preserved if they respect your choices... I recommend the podcast run by exmo's called How to Heretic. The hosts are very loving guys who want the best dor others. It's about learning how to build connections after leaving rather than shutting on your family and others you love, and how to deal with being NC if thata how it ends up.

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u/abgry_krakow87 1d ago

Religious people really are groomers.

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u/DeviousWhippet 1d ago

Sorry that there were no crazy new moments in this update

Also: My mum's arranging a marriage for me

WHAT THE FUCK!

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u/RemarkablePast2716 1d ago

Ehh no wonder your brother went NC, your mom is batshit. Sorry OP, but stay true to yourself. Your mom has issues beyond your control, it's completely unacceptable that she's trying to control and micromanage your life the way SHE sees fit.

With all due respect, she needs to fuck off

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u/Shot_Western_2755 1d ago

You really gonna gloss right over that arranged marriage

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u/foxman2424 1d ago

Your brother went no contact for a reason . Fucking run away from that nasty ass cult like church for your own well being before your stuck in it for life

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u/MrLazyLion 1d ago

"... my older brother, who has gone NC with our family due to his views on Mormonism.

I hope you have his number somewhere, I have a feeling you are going to need it. Good luck.

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u/trizkit995 1d ago

  Run kid just fucking run. Your older brother is the smart one here. If your family is only concerned about keeping you in the cult then your better off on the streets. 

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u/CallidoraBlack 1d ago edited 1d ago

My mom surprised me by apologizing too, admitting that she feared losing control over me and worried I might "fall from grace" like my older brother, who has gone NC with our family due to his views on Mormonism.

Yeah, she's just apologizing because she realizes this is exactly the kind of crap that made your brother run away. She's not sorry, she's just changing tactics because she didn't scare you into compliance. Don't fall for the manipulation. Time to visit r/exmormon. Because the temple endowment until very recently involved being touched in your bathing suit area without your prior consent or knowledge. This is all bad, but the rabbit hole is so much deeper than you think. This problem is not fixed, you just won the battle. The war is ongoing.

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u/I_Dont_Like_Rice 1d ago

The cult your parents are involved with has plans for you. I hope you leave so fast when you're 18 that you leave skid marks. Your mother has been fully brainwashed and controlled at this point, she will only continue to be a tool for the cult when it comes to you. I'd be running fast.

And please don't get with a woman who is in a cult, you'll just be trading one nightmare for another. Find someone who can think for themself and isn't controlled by a self-serving cult.

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u/Studiousskittle 1d ago

You know you’re in a cult right?

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u/Think-Falcon2216 1d ago

Dude you are in a cult, run before you are trapped forever .

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u/Environmental_Exit19 1d ago

I'd be straying. No. RUNNING from that arranged marriage. No wonder the brother went zero contact.

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u/RemoteBroccoli 1d ago

And this kids, is why you NEVER EVER EVER MARRY A MORMON.
Holy MF hell. That took a dark and unwelcome turn.

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u/DatguyMalcolm 1d ago

Feels like you're about to go NC with them, too xD

If not, you should reconsider. She wants to keep control of you to the point where she's already got an arranged marriage for you? Chile

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u/angel9_writes 1d ago

Please fall from grace like your older brother.

Your mother is full on cult controlled.

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u/cripplinganxietylmao 1d ago

Do you have any way to contact your older brother? I think you may need his help if she actually goes through in arranging this marriage for you. You are not safe in that house OP and you are in a cult.

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u/CartographerPlane685 1d ago

Dude dude dude- you’re 17 and your mother is arranging a marriage for you?? I hope you have your older bro’s contact deets to make a getaway the day you turn 18! Run boy run!

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u/Throwawhaey 2d ago

She confessed that she had already begun arranging a marriage for me in an attempt to keep me grounded within the church, which has only added to my anxiety.

 Sorry that there were no crazy new moments in this update, but I feel like these stories are much better when there is an honest, good ending. It just goes to show how many problems can be fixed with good, honest communication between one another.

Is the good, honest communication in the room with you right now?

Way to drop a bomb and walk off

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u/Alfred-Register7379 2d ago

Good on you, for this win.

I'd get done with college first, before thinking about marriage. If you divorce, it's a lifetime of hard labor, and paycheck to paycheck.

Whereas you'd be paycheck to paycheck, without college.

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u/anonsub975799012 2d ago

If all your mom’s kids leave the church, what does that say about her beliefs and the religion she tried to raise her family by? She’s afraid to look at her own beliefs and is pushing that fear onto you OP.

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u/Top-Effect-4321 2d ago

Your mom is abusive and controlling. Arranged marriage? She’s fucking psycho. Your older brother was correct to get away from her, follow suit. Take your sister with you before she gets married off to some old creep, your psycho mom is probably already planning it. 

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u/CyberDonSystems 2d ago

Your mom is a kookadoo

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u/chez2202 2d ago

NTA but you need to get the recording from your mother and hide it well. That’s your ammunition to avoid an arranged marriage. Your mother is an inadvertent child pornographer and she is not above the law. Once the footage is well hidden you should take a trip to Vegas, find yourself a suitable wife (preferably with a background in entertainment) and take her home to meet her new MIL. Just a suggestion.

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u/gemmygem86 2d ago

I hope your sister isn't a minor. You also need to run

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u/EvetheDragon84 2d ago

Your mom sounds like the type that should have never had kids. Putting a camera in your room and then casually mentioning she's arranging your marriage at age 17? Please leave as soon as you're 18 and set clear boundaries with them; they're counting on you not doing so.

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u/SweetChaos_3173 2d ago

Arranging a marriage???? What? Oh no no.  Maybe u should speak with ur brother 

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u/Tiamat_fire_and_ice 2d ago

You’re only a teenager and a very immature one at that. The LAST thing you need to do is get married — to anyone.

I knew there had to be a reason your mom put a camera in your room because that kind of behavior isn’t normal, unless she feared you were self-harming or doing drugs.

I figured that she was doing it for one of those two reasons. I admit that I didn’t have keeping you in the bosom of Mormonism on my Bingo card but here we are.

I stand by what I said in my first post: your entire family needs help and counseling. It would be best if you found an outside therapist because I think a Mormon counselor or someone within the church, like one of the elders, is just going to agree with your mom. Maybe not the camera installation but with her sentiments.

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u/MyLadyBits 2d ago

If this is true what your mom did is illegal. Your Dad because he knew of the camera and did not remove it broke the law as well.

This is very series.

You and your parents need to be very clear about this fact.

Your parents recorded you in a sexual act. They literally are child porn producers.

Your parents are in a world of trouble.

You’ve told people about this. Someone will sooner or later call the police.

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u/Strong_Drawing_3667 2d ago

Ah yes, Mormons.

Bro join your brother

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u/Diligent-Essay6149 2d ago

Thank you for the update. I read your first thread but I don't think I commented. I did find your actions gross and rude and a bit creepy (staring at the camera, knowing that your mom would be watching it...). I think you handled it very well.

I think that arranged marriages can be done very well or very badly. It can work well when both people are ready to marry in the next 1-2 years, and both parties are fully free to say no. But if you don't believe in Mormonism, I'd suggest doing research. If you do meet a girl, you should be 100% honest with her about your doubts. Otherwise, if she's looking for a traditional Mormon husband, it would be misleading and would waste her time.

Best of luck.