r/SipsTea • u/Icy-Book2999 Fave frog is a swing nose frog • 5d ago

Urinal Code of Ethics Chugging tea

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From https://youtube.com/shorts/71nfLPeczgc?si=k6XoM6jfES21CXGw

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u/dingos8mybaby2 5d ago

The real "Impossible" difficulty here is a crowded sports stadium or bar where the bathroom just has a big trough instead of urinals.

316

u/StrangerTex 5d ago

And a line of drunk assholes waiting after you looking at you like hurry up.

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u/LittleFlank 5d ago

The nightmare moment when you have to pee so bad, but the activity of the room is keeping your valve completely locked up, so you stand there for 30 to 60 seconds begging your physiology for relief and you end up just shaking your dry dick, zipping back up, and humiliated because you KNOW the two cycles of dudes to either side of you SAW that you didn't piss at all and they're silently judging you about it.

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u/PM_ME_YOUR_TATERTOT 5d ago

Get the fuck out of my head.

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u/imafirinmalazorr 5d ago

A friend and I went and watched a movie in Charlotte, NC. We aren’t used to the city crowd. Movie ends around 1am, we both have to piss like mad. There is a club attached to the theater, and that’s where the bathroom is. We walk in, seems like there is a bouncer guarding the bathroom (that’s something we should have picked up on but… we were young).

There’s like 15 dudes just chilling and leaning on the sinks, smoking, drinking etc. All heads turned to us. My friend and I sheepishly split to the nearest urinal. I didn’t see where he went. I stood there for what seemed like forever. I felt them just glaring at me and I couldn’t go.

Finally walked out and about that time here came my friend, both of us absolutely couldn’t go. We bolted to the car, still bursting. We drove for an hour back to my house because everything was closed except for dimly lit gas stations and our sketch meters were filled.

We always get a good kick out of that.

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u/Cool-Sink8886 5d ago

You’re clear after 3 cycles. Just keep shaking it like you can’t get that last drop.

3

u/Gotmewrongang 5d ago

Only the assholes are judging. My bladder is shy too friend, I would give a sympathetic nod and circle back when it’s less crowded, or better yet wait for a stall to open up and cover my nose with my shirt.

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u/EnkiRise 4d ago

No one is judging 😂

If anyone is judging that means they are looking at your dick and that’s a whole other can of worms than not being able to pee lol

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u/noworriesisme 4d ago

I feel attacked.

What's been working for me is a trick I read on Reddit somewhere to count tiles in the bathroom (or count anything) something to distract your mind. Even in a crowded ass restroom with dudes waiting I get a flow going by 12 tiles.

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u/cia218 4d ago

Mine is singing the Alphabet Song or Happy Birthday over and over til it comes out.

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u/jjm443 4d ago

and humiliated because you KNOW the two cycles of dudes to either side of you SAW that you didn't piss at all and they're silently judging you about it.

Exactly my thought processes! And at the same time knowing that any time I go to a urinal am I being a urinal monitor? Auditing and listening carefully to how much nearby guys are peeing? Of course not, no-one does! But can I get that brain worm out of my head about being judged myself? Nope.

Our genetic programming for social conformity is stupid sometimes.

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u/CIarkNova 4d ago

What’s worse is when youre walking in, and the kid in front of yous dad says ‘you’re not using the stall, use a urinal like a man’.

And me, who B lines right to that stall once it’s open.

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u/dX927 4d ago

I waited 10 minutes in line for a port a potty at the Warped Tour one year and when I got inside, everything was so loud that I felt like the entire concert was somehow watching me. I tried for a good minute or two and NOTHING. I left because it was the only port a potty in this spot (they never went back to this venue again) and the line was getting longer.

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u/BubbleGumFucker 4d ago

Do you check how much other guys are peeing?

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u/UglieGod420 4d ago

Every sporting event, every. damn. time.

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u/hatesnack 4d ago

This is my reality. Just have a shy ass bladder. If there's too much shit happening around me it just doesn't release, no matter how bad I have to go. My dog does a similar thing where she will just cut her stream mid pee if she hears ANY unexpected noise.

I blame my ADHD, think my dog is just a wimp.

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u/dontmentiontrousers 4d ago

I aggressively chant swear words at myself, like a mantra, but all in my head. It helps.