aitah for considerinf leaving my son in the county jail hospital over the weekend instead of paying $9,500.00 in bail?

[u/ShowerElectrical9342]

My son hit a pregnant woman with his vehicle and broke his nose and has stitches on his lip.

He was arrested and is in the county jail hospital. He wouldn't tell me how badly injured the woman is, except that she might lose the baby.

He's a careless, distracted driver who has totalled 2 cars, which his bio dad immediately replaced with even better cars!

But now his bio dad is gone (heart attack) and I don't want to enable this dangerous driving problem.

I'm overwhelmed.

He has had accidents before, and has always been bailed out.

I'm trying to get a regular lawyer because now he says she might lose the baby and sue him.

He's 19.

But no one wants me to take the time to get a regular lawyer instead of this public defender who insists I must send the bail money NOW or my son will be in jail all weekend.

Honestly, I don't know. Maybe that would be good for him. Like a wakeup call.

He didn't mention alcohol, but why else would he he arrested for a car accident?

Help! I have to move fast!

AITAH for even thinking about letting him spend a weekend in jail?

[u/ThoughtNecessary2385]

Can I ask a question

What if she let's him stay in jail And it's revealt that he is not at fault is she prepared for her son going no contact with her?

[u/Night_Angel27 → u/ThoughtNecessary2385]

He's already totaled 2 cars. He's not a good driver. If he takes this as betrayal by mum instead of a lesson, she should hope he cuts her off.

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/Night_Angel27]

I have a cousin that has rolled over 4 trucks in his life falling asleep at the wheel it doesn't mean you're a bad driver but that you're not responsible totally different

[u/pigandpom → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

Your cousin absolutely is a bad driver. Falling asleep behind the wheel is fuckinf reckless. If you're tired you don't drive.

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/pigandpom]

Don't get me wrong I've learned from my own mistakes like my cousin but when you're 19 making over 80 a year your mind isn't right sometimes and you have to grow up and not just get left and locked up in county, different strokes for different folks if you get where I'm coming from

[u/AhabMustDie → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

I think getting locked up in county COULD be what he needs to grow up.

Unlike your cousin (I’m guessing), it sounds like OP’s kid has lived a very privileged life - his accidents didn’t come as a result of circumstances beyond his control, but of a lack of conscientiousness… that he desperately need to learn.

I think it’s commendable that you’re going against the grain to preach mercy, but a greater kindness than bailing him out would be to let him experience consequences finally, so that he doesn’t end up killing someone (else) or himself.

[u/Predictable-Past-912 → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

Don’t you get it? If “your mind isn’t right” then you are by definition, wrong!

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/pigandpom]

If you work 14-16hrs a rigger it happens as a former rigger can confirm its rough, he lived an hour away so not completely his fault don't get me wrong we've razzed him but it's not his fault it happens when you work a very strenuous job in the heat all day, you've obviously never done anything like that so that's why your opinion is the way it is before you even found out why, but make assumptions because it makes an ass out of you and me lol. That $30+/hr plus 15-20hrs of ot hits differently it just happens to people like us. He also never got arrested either honestly this post seems more like they found alcohol or drugs and that's why he's locked up or he's in dictatorship Cali either way he doesn't deserve to be in county which you obviously have never been locked up in, otherwise you know you'd get jumped and get food and commissary taken from you by REAL criminals so to eatch their own I guess.

[u/pigandpom → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

And I'll repeat it again, four fucking times. He could have killed someone just going about their business with his fucking reckless behaviour. He should have learned after the first time, but no, clearly he's a slow learner to have done it a further 3 times

[u/Common_Scar4611 → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

Totally his fault. Pull over and sleep

[u/hellsing_mongrel → u/Common_Scar4611]

This! When I was going to college and working in rural west texas and had an hour drive between all three destinations, I was living my life perpetually on only 4 hours of sleep a night and getting home at like 2am every. single. day. And if I'd fallen asleep at the wheel when I was making those treks and ended up killing someone, you know who's fault that would have been? MINE. I would have had a criminal record because of it and I would have had no one but myself to blame! And I wasn't even the best driver back then, lemme tell you, but I sure as hell did my best to keep from wrecking on those long drives home when I was exhausted, because I DID NOT want to go out that way!

There are rest stops on the road that you can stop at to rest for the night, or you can pull to the side of the road and take a nap next to the highway. Or, if you're making 80k a year as a rigger, you can afford to get a shitty no-tell motel for the night so you have a few hours of sleep before you start the next day.

All of these excuses about why we shouldn't hold bad drivers accountable is just reaching completely absurd levels of idiocy! I'm all for prison reform and rehabilitation instead of incarceration, but sometimes the people have to suffer the consequences of their own actions before they'll learn their damned lesson!

[u/Dense_Reputation_420 → u/Common_Scar4611]

100% we told him the same it's just a different type of life style and having lived it can't knock him for it but I think it goes more towards irresponsible and not bad driving because besides that he has a squeaky clean record, also I'm just wondering why the kid got arrested I'm not ready to jump to conclusions until we have learned more about why after an accident he got arrested, but people want me crucified because I don't know all the facts before judging someone especially a young kid like that

[u/pigandpom → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

No. Stop trying to excuse it. You have no idea what jobs I've done, or what my husband has done, and guess what, neither of us has fallen asleep behind the wheel once, never mind four fucking times.

[u/Proper-Effective8621 → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

Wait! The cousin’s workday just increased by 2 hours. hands over a shovel

[u/Classic-Cantaloupe47 → u/Dense_Reputation_420]

Oh, so since he was making good money, if he did kill someone, it would have been ok? He was making GOOD money so he could've stayed by you or GOTTEN A HOTEL for the night. Smh. Your logic is something else