r/funny • u/sabaloma • 2d ago
Soviet dad: eating techniques
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Credit:wostok_official
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u/DesensitizedRobot 2d ago
He ate the sticker on the fruit on purpose! Savage!!!
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u/Steezie_E 2d ago
I eat stickers all the time dude!
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u/Blumpkin4Brady 2d ago
Give me my 35 cents back bozo
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u/electrodan 2d ago
I'm calling a lot of people Bozo now. It's like my new thing.
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u/r2k-in-the-vortex 2d ago
That's what happens when you don't dare to take an eye off of whoever is sitting on the other side of the table.
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u/fastlerner 2d ago
When it looped back around and I saw that his TV remote was in a plastic baggie, it all made sense.
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u/Booziesmurf 2d ago
Out of all of this, the Sticker bothered me the most. Not the way he ate the Kiwi, that's how I do it, but the bloody sticker...
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u/Draakan28 2d ago
TIL, people eat the fur on Kiwi fruit.
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u/Booziesmurf 2d ago
You can rub it off, but the skin is full of vitamin c
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u/Eusocial_Snowman 2d ago
Is there any substance at all that isn't full of vitamin C? I feel like we've infused the entire world with Vitamin c at this point.
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u/7-13-5 2d ago
They are edible apparently.
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u/Tycoon004 2d ago
Edible in that they CAN be eaten (since sometimes people do it accidentally), not that they SHOULD be eaten.
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u/romario77 2d ago
Right, it’s still a plastic sticker and won’t cause too much harm (will come from the other end eventually).
But - it’s not good to eat plastic
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u/Patient-Gas-883 2d ago
"But - it’s not good to eat plastic"
You're not my real dad, you can't tell me what to do.
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u/FecalMatterCowsTasty 2d ago
You're not my real dad, you can't tell me what to do.
You know that how?
Your mother is known worldwide.
As a nice person.
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u/Ferec 2d ago
I've got micro plastic in my balls, a little in my colon won't hurt anything.
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u/GodOfThunder44 2d ago
Is the micro plastic really a good reason to also consume the macro plastic?
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u/Diz7 2d ago
Guy at the gym says I need to eat my micros and macros daily for those huge gains.
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u/timbillyosu 2d ago
Nearly everything is edible. Somethings are only edible once, but you can eat them for the rest of your life!
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u/deadpoolkool 2d ago
I thought the real flex was him snarfing the joints down off them bones. Osteoarthritis fears this man.
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u/Bocchi_theGlock 1d ago
Am I the only one who almost freaks out when I feel I'm starting to chew grisle?
Immediately trying to spit it out
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u/captain-marvellous 2d ago
Ngl I love to eat a kiwi, skin and all. And the occasional sticker. Good bit of fibre
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u/Aware-Sherbert-8694 2d ago
It’s the onion with the salt for me. My dad every night
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u/jscott18597 2d ago
My cousins adopted a Russian girl in the 90s. She was like 4 or 5 when she came to the US. She LOVED raw onions. Apparently those were the only fresh produce she had in her first few years on a regular basis and she acquired a taste for them.
No apples, no bananas, no corn... she wanted raw onion!
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u/AdjunctFunktopus 2d ago
My cousin was adopted from Romania at age 4. Kid ate raw onions, plain bread and drank black coffee.
I imagine the Romanian orphanage he was in prior was not a wealthy place.
He cooks his onions now.
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u/30minut3slat3r 2d ago
Man I’m Romanian and I can tell you it’s not a money thing. Raw onions are delicious, I almost thought this guy was a poser until he dipped it in salt. True Soviet move.
Fun fact, this was all I knew growing up and didn’t realize Americans didn’t know this.
Bonus points for eating raw spicy peppers dipped in salt.
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u/IWillFindYouAlex 1d ago
I’m an American mutt and I fucking love raw onions. I used to eat them like apples when I was a kid. I was a horrible little onion goblin. If an adult left one unattended I’d get found hunched over eating it like gollum. Onions are fucking delicious.
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u/wradam 2d ago
It is often a custom in Russia to give little kids boiled potatoes, salted fish and marinated onions just to taste something different.
For many Russians it develops into affection to such favourite food combo as mashed potatoes, salted cod and marinated onions. I am the same. But my kid though does not like any of that. He likes broccoli at the age of 9! I don't understand it :(.
In my soviet childhood there was no problem with fresh vegetables, but meat was the problem. I remember that I mostly ate chicken and fish as a source of protein. Bananas were pretty rare too, but apples, pears and oranges were abundant.
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u/terminbee 1d ago
I like it becomes the opposite in more developed nations. Fresh produce becomes the expensive part and meat is (relatively) cheap.
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u/jscott18597 2d ago
Honestly I don't know the specifics. This was directly post-USSR Russia though so I'm assuming there wasn't a lot of governmental programs happening especially catering to the poor.
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u/Ricardo_Fortnite 2d ago
thats probably the reason, my grandfather (from my mothers side) was really poor when growing up, he ate raw onions and garlic because he liked it, i think he doesnt do that anymore, he came from italy not russia tho
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u/hellschatt 2d ago
Try to cut them, add some olive oil, salt and some chili flakes, optionally sumac, optionally a little bit of lemon juice, and you get a pimped up version of onion + salt.
It's a great side dish, and I wish I could eat it all the time but life has cursed me with FODMAP.
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u/Fappy_as_a_Clam 2d ago
Me reading about FODMAPs: oh wow! This sounds like it could solve all my issues! I should try this!
FODMAP article: foods to avoid entirely are onions and garlic
Me: man fuck that stupid ass diet
I'm uncomfortable all the time :(
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u/hellschatt 2d ago
Yeah, I also sometimes decide to suffer for the taste. What I don't understand is why we don't have drugs to properly combat these issues yet.
Onion and garlic I get because they've got complex sugar molecules and probably there won't be an enzym that can split it for us easily, at least not before an AI hopefully manages to find a way.
What I don't get is why the other enzymes that help with fructose and all the other sugars are not properly researched yet. It's estimated that 20% of the population has some sort of issues with these sugars, you'd think people would research more about these enzymes and try to come up with drugs to make more money off them.
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u/Trais333 2d ago
Ooof FODMap is rough af. Got good at cooking fodmap for my partner. But it’s still not the same lol
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u/Stewart_Games 2d ago
Ever sit down and eat an entire bag of raw vidalia onions at once? And get sad when you reach into the bag and find you already had the last one? The grocery store knows what they are doing when they bag those and put them on display right next to the cherry tomatoes.
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u/Katulis 2d ago
The remote in plastic wrap was the best part! It really was the thing.
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u/deamonjohn 1d ago
WHAT DO YOU MEAN WAS!? Hope it's a typo....because I still do it....CALLING ME OUT OF TIME MATE?
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u/monodeldiablo 2d ago
I didn't realize I was a stereotype until I saw this and felt hungry.
The shirt is too clean, though, and that puny knife ain't worth shit.
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u/Happychunky 2d ago
Also lacking the cigarette
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u/SadAd2653 2d ago
And vodka
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u/tuckedfexas 2d ago
Onions, home smoked meats and cheeses, Marlboro reds, and homemade plum/pear brandy for my Balkan in laws lol.
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u/deFazerZ 2d ago
That's because it's an integrated t-shirt, and the knife is just for cleaning out the gunk under the toenails.
It doubles as a toothpick, though.
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u/howabotthat 2d ago edited 2d ago
I’m not a dad but I definitely do some of these. Damnit stereotypes lol
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u/ppparty 2d ago
how dare you!!! I'll have you know those of us in the South eat leek, not onions!!
Otherwise yeah, fair enough.
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u/Money-University4481 2d ago
Funny thing is my friend found his dad eating an onion like that after his mother was on a trip. Man almost starved. He had to eat something. He is from Serbia 😅
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u/tuckedfexas 2d ago
My Bosnian in-laws eat them like they’re apples. Wild to me lol
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u/Muxerus 2d ago
This is bullshit. Soviet dad would never peel the cucumber.
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u/MrVodnik 2d ago
True. I'd maybe wash it first if it is store bought, or simply wipe it with my shirt if it is from my garden.
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u/GANDORF57 2d ago
No Russian would eat like this and not wash it down with vodka.
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u/glory2mankind 2d ago
Wrong order. First you have a shot of vodka (rakia, slivovice, gorilka, etc depending on the country you're in) and than you have some follow up food to kill the taste.
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u/helix_nebula_98 2d ago
I have and will continue drinking pickle juice and later eat the cucumbers from the jar. I will continue eating raw onions, whenever there is a chance.
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u/elheber 2d ago
I have and will continue to eat the kiwifruit whole. It's the proper way. Chicken bone cartilage is meat too. I ain't here to feed the ants.
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u/muskratio 2d ago
When I was pregnant I started eating kiwis this way because they were all I wanted to eat and I didn't have the patience to peel them all. Dunno why I never tried it before, it's actually delicious. The rind is kind of tart and adds a really nice extra flavor, plus it's got a lot of good fiber in it.
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u/45KELADD 2d ago
I fully agree, the tartness and bit of bitterness gives the kiwi some flavor depth that it's missing if you just eat the sweet sour inside.
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u/Grinchieur 2d ago
Peel ?
You cut them in half (not the long side), and you eat the inside with a little spoon.
I know some people eat them whole, i can't myself because the "hair" make me gag, but peeling them seem so much extra work...
Oh and if you can, and find, try "yellow" kiwi(Golden kiwi), taste is widely different, but they are really good too!
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u/L3thologica_ 2d ago edited 1d ago
If you wash/rinse off the kiwi the skin isn’t bad. Just make sure it’s a decent scrub to really get loose hairs off.
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u/MyPunsSuck 2d ago
Is it not normal to eat the skin? I used to work at a grocery store, and I'd just grab a random "exotic" fruit with every lunch. Whole kiwi is hardly the strangest option
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u/JimJimmery 2d ago
How can you stand the texture of the cartilage? Instant gag from me.
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u/ThroatPuzzled6456 2d ago
Hello my cartilage bro, we should start a subreddit for beautiful cartilage
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u/FreeGums 2d ago
It's the juice that keeps your muscles from being sore or overworked. It's great if you're planning to run a half marathon later that day
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u/SubzeroAK 2d ago
Or even if you're planning to sit on the ouch all day. Let's not confuse people!
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u/MoKh4n89 2d ago
I sometimes do half a marathon whilst sitting on the couch all day...
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u/helix_nebula_98 2d ago
It has legitimately saved my ass a lot of times when lifting. And made a few of my friends gag on their protein shakes XD
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u/Jackalodeath 2d ago
Man ain't nothing like pickle or green olive juice first thing in the morning.
Puts a pep in your step far better than any coffee I've had, I know that much.
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u/druex 2d ago
Fine Tony Abbott, just stay out of politics. Enjoy your raw onions.
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u/LifeguardOutrageous5 2d ago
I was wondering how far I had to go before a Tony Abbott comment appeared. 🧄
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u/Empathy404NotFound 2d ago
Why this weak child is needing flavour for onion, onion already too much flavour.
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u/ReplacementOrdinary5 2d ago
Because he used a remote at the beginning.
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u/justinreddit1 2d ago
Can confirm Portuguese dad eats like this as well.
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u/MultiheadAttention 2d ago
It's a known fact that Portugal is Eastern-European country. r/portugalcykablyat
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u/Frosty_Pepper1609 2d ago
Have you ever noticed how the Portuguese sound Eastern European when they speak English ? Coincidence ? I think not !
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u/DrEpileptic 2d ago
Portuguese actually sounds like if Spanish and Russian had a weird bastard creole baby. Or that’s at least the way I identify it.
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u/Slazman999 2d ago
My polish Granma was basicly the same. If it was edible she would eat it. A whole raw onion? Delicious. Homemade sauerkraut straight out of the canning jar? Yes please. Are you going to eat the rest of that chicken leg? *looks at chicken bone in hand* ughh no, you can finish it. Proceeds to eat the ends off the bone. Making coleslaw? Yeah let's just chew on a whole leaf of cabbage while making it. Mashed potatoes? No thanks I'll eat it raw.
She lived to 93 and the whole family attributes her long life to her diet.... And escaping Poland in 1942.
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u/scienceshmiencee 2d ago
Was that a boiled drumstick...
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u/Lysergio 2d ago
Only thing I noticed, gross
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u/terminbee 2d ago
Wait. Is boiled chicken not a thing in western culture? I'm Vietnamese and we eat variations of boiled chicken all the time (boiled in chicken soup, vegetable soup, sometimes just straight boiled chicken). We'll also have a salt+pepper+lemon dip or a fish sauce+sugar+/-lemon+/-ginger dip.
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u/alraban 2d ago
Boiled chicken is deffo a thing in the West in soups, but it's not usually served on the bone. Boiled chicken on the bone is very uncommon (at least in the U.S.)
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u/Consistently_Carpet 2d ago
It is in soups but not bone-in. I was pretty surprised the first time I ordered chicken soup takeout from an Asian place (Vietnamese maybe but I don't remember) and pulled a whole boiled chicken drumstick out of there.
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u/terminbee 2d ago
How come fried chicken or wings are fine bone-in but boiled isn't?
I knew a girl who couldn't eat anything with the bone in. She could eat chicken tenders or boneless wings but not normal wings.
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u/10art1 2d ago
my grandpa used to always eat a boiled turkey leg. It was his favorite food.
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u/Lysergio 2d ago
Did he season it at all? The leg in the video looks like a ghost
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u/evilmeow 2d ago
i grew up on boiled drumsticks, only seasonings were whole onions, salt and dill in the broth
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u/rock_and_rolo 2d ago
No potato?
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u/Billy1121 2d ago
What is he dipping the onion in
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u/Aponogetone 2d ago
What is he dipping the onion in
Salt.
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u/notarobot_1024 2d ago
are you sure it's not raw garlic?
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u/tektite 2d ago
Not sure why, but I kind of want to try raw onion and salt now
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u/Bheegabhoot 2d ago
Slice raw onion and toss it in some salt and lemon juice. It’s the perfect accompaniment
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u/ExperienceSoft3892 2d ago
We talkin red, white, or yellow onion? Sounds amazing. I might try all three
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u/Apellio7 2d ago
Try baking an onion.
Just toss that shit in the oven for 20-30 minutes or so till it's nice and soft.
Peel and toss some salt on it and good to go.
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u/ThricePurgedMagus 2d ago
ID on the tune? It’s a banger
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u/mtaw 2d ago
If you like that one, may I introduce you to every Romanian folk music song ever.
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u/Jsimpson059 2d ago
My dad isn't even Slavic and this is how he eats lol, mostly with pears and apples tho.
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u/takdalii 2d ago
Hm, soviet dad cant wearing jeans pants. Where da hell did he get them?? Only boxer trousers!
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u/UncomprehensiveTruth 2d ago
the song is romanian
the parizer is romanian
why the dad is russian?
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u/Gwynbleidd77 2d ago
On a total serious note, kiwi (washed) with the skin on is actually incredible. The skin tastes like sour candy.
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u/Haasts_Eagle 2d ago
Kiwifruit one is particularly Savage. Not because of the skin and fluff, I eat that stuff every time. Savage because the stem end has a spike in it that will straight up wreck your day if you impale it next to a tooth.
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u/inferno493 2d ago
Why cut the cucumber though?
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u/DaftmanZeus 2d ago
To make sure you're not tempted into exploring your sexuality.
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u/NO-MAD-CLAD 2d ago
The juice from pickles and olives is a powerful laxative if you drink that much. This guy likely shit out one of his kidneys later that night.
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u/Hollowsong 2d ago
That goddamn whistling in the background. Someone stick a fork in my eardrums please.
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u/zekeweasel 2d ago
My grandfather used to eat raw onions and fuckin' raw rutabagas..
Otherwise he was entirely normal in his eating habits.
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u/Ok-Application-hmmm 2d ago
This dude was on my YouTube short and just kept getting distracted by his moustache
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