r/AITAH • u/[deleted] • 4d ago

AITAH for leaving my wife after she got pregnant by a revenge affair?

[deleted]

7.0k Upvotes

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u/yourgirlangela 4d ago

ESH

You should have split as soon as YOU cheated if not before. The relationship is obviously unstable and unhealthy if one is cheating and the other cheats as a form of revenge. You two do need to divorce from the sound of things. This is all around a crappy situation

434

u/[deleted] 4d ago

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u/nigel_pow 4d ago

Can she even track the guy down?

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u/AnywhereMajestic2377 3d ago

OP better hopes she does, otherwise in some states he’s considered the presumptive father.

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u/WORD_2_UR_MOTHA 3d ago

I would imagine it would be presumptive until he shows that he's snipped and the DNA doesn't match?

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u/AnywhereMajestic2377 3d ago

Maybe, but would still be a hassle and would incur legal fees. I wonder if she’d put the bio dad’s name on the birth certificate?

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u/Inner_Difficulty_381 3d ago

In some states, like WI, only the husband can be on the birth certificate. The bio dad can be but needs to fill out a notorized VPA before being able to be put on the birth certificate. What’s worse is, if the husband isn’t the father, doesn’t matter. Obv can fight it but shitty to be even out in that situation.

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u/AnywhereMajestic2377 3d ago

Is that so the state isn’t on the hook for financially supporting a baby? Hopefully with advances in dna paternity can be confirmed very early on.

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u/Inner_Difficulty_381 3d ago

That’s a good point. Didn’t think about that. So they rather give the shaft to the wrong person than so the state can avoid paying. Agreed about dna paternity results being much quicker these days.

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u/WORD_2_UR_MOTHA 3d ago

Who knows? Anyways, DNA tests aren't expensive and you pretty much, at this stage, contest the paternity and when the DNA test comes back, that's the end of the road on that one.

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u/BonniePrinceCharlie1 3d ago

Dna tests have to be done via the court, they are expensive and are the only admissable ones

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u/BonniePrinceCharlie1 3d ago

Government doesnt care about that.

Presumptive paternity doesnt care bout biology and DNA it assumes the father is the husband for the "stability of the family" blah blah blah etc

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u/14fuckface88 2d ago

And that they are two different skin tones

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u/WORD_2_UR_MOTHA 2d ago

Hmm, I guess I missed that.

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u/Inner_Difficulty_381 3d ago

Yep it’s the dumbest state rule ever. Our state does it. It’s messed up.

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u/AnywhereMajestic2377 3d ago

Hope states move to confirm dna paternity at birth just as a standard practice. Would eliminate a lot of trauma for a kid.

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u/Inner_Difficulty_381 3d ago

100%. Shoot they do so much testing at the hospital once the kid is born, what’s a paternity test to add to it. Used to be able to do the VPA at the hospital too but since Covid, notaries don’t go to the historical as much.