r/AITAH • u/Individual-Opinion49 • 4d ago

Am I AITAH for asking my daughter not to share any information about me with her father?

I have not spoken to my daughter's father in 20 years. I ended the relationship due to physical and emotional abuse (broken ribs, if I disagreed with anything he said he would pin me down and scream at me "Am I right" until I said yes). At one time I had a no contact order. We live in a small town and he is known to tell anyone that he wishes I was dead. He repeats this phrase to his daughter quite often. My daughter has discussed my personal business with him through the years- that I went back to school to become a doctor, that I got my black belt, etc. He rants that I ruined his life and that I will pay for doing so. I have respectfully asked my daughter not to say my name to her father or discuss any aspects of my life with him- yet she refuses to do so. He has not made any overt violent gestures towards me but I have a security system, a Glock and a personal protection German Shepard who pretty much goes everywhere with me. Am I over reacting and am I the ass hole for requesting that my achievements, locations, and other information not be shared with my ex-partner. She says her dad is wounded and is unhappy that he lives in poverty while I have created a good life for myself and he is just venting.

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u/VegetableBusiness897 4d ago

If she's a high school age, I would let her read your hospital records, police report, RO and divorce decree. Show her the evidence. Then ask her what does she do, when this happens to her??

Then I would have a serious sit down with her at 18. I would tell her that you will finacially and emotionally support her through college.... from afar. And if she cannot compartmentalize her relationships, after college, you will choose to to keep yourself safe

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u/Individual-Opinion49 4d ago

She is 25- when she was in high school I let her read all the medical and police reports- her response was that if I did as I was told none of that would have happened.

49

u/Magdovus 4d ago

Is that still her opinion? Because if so, I'd just stop telling her anything. Unless you want to use her to spread disinformation. That could be fun, watching your ex go ranting about stuff that almost everyone knows is untrue. 

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u/DreamingofRlyeh 4d ago

"Can you believe my worthless ex is marrying foreign nobility?! Life is so unfair! And she just bought a yacht, too! I hate her!"