r/politics • u/Arrest_The_President • 7d ago

Will Trump chicken out of the presidential debate? Probably. He's a Grade-A coward. Soft Paywall

https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/columnist/2024/06/25/trump-biden-presidential-debate-cnn-rigged/74195698007/
10.3k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

1.5k comments sorted by

View all comments

1.6k

u/Penguin_shit15 Oklahoma 7d ago

Then let Biden have the stage for 2 hours or whatever and have a debate with a cardboard standee of Trump. The cardboard would probably make more sense than anything the real Trump would say anyway..

539

u/Belba_Mugwort 7d ago

Tapper and Bash should probably ready themselves for a 2 hour town hall with Biden. The odds of Trump chickening out with some bat shit reason is high.

418

u/Penguin_shit15 Oklahoma 7d ago

I honestly just dont see Trump backing out of this. If anything , I could see him coming out on stage and physically assaulting Biden more than I can see him dipping out on the whole thing.

241

u/billyjack669 Oklahoma 7d ago

Better hope there's not a 10 foot ramp in between them.

185

u/Penguin_shit15 Oklahoma 7d ago

Thats one of the only ways to beat Trump..

Or have a Bald Eagle on stage in between them.. (for those who have not seen it... or just want to watch it on repeat https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1AU4qi7tWg )

I am also kinda looking forward to watching Trump try to successfully take a drink of water from a bottle without looking like someone who has never drank water before. Its an 16 oz bottle, use one hand you fucking donut!

37

u/dcbluestar Texas 7d ago

Apparently an animatronic shark would do wonders.

65

u/thisbitbytes 7d ago

Bring back Left Shark. The time has come for Left Shark to fulfill the prophesy.

25

u/arinxe3000 7d ago

"After making his debut worldwide on February 1, 2015, Left Shark returned nine years later, in June 2024, to fulfill his glorious purpose."

-- History Of The 21st Century, published 2113

14

u/monsterflake 7d ago

left shark didn't forget the choreography, he was demonstrating his killing technique.

https://youtu.be/WmcWZ2Bzoho?si=0CX4cgJL2gTfta33

3

u/Totallynotatworknow Illinois 7d ago edited 7d ago

-As was retold in "History of the Butlerian Jihad" c. 10,220 A.G. By the Princess Irulan-

21

u/greenroom628 California 7d ago

ooh... his weakness: electricity and a shark

8

u/labretirementhome 7d ago

Green screen. Circling sharks and a sinking boat. I would pay per view for that.

2

u/Cultural_Day7760 7d ago

What am I missing about the electricity?

3

u/monsterflake 7d ago

batteries in boats. trump said (twice) he'll take electrocution over being eaten by a shark.

6

u/Kamelasa Canada 7d ago

Bring back Fonzie and his shark - exactly where the term jumped the shark came from. Looks like Henry Winkler's a democrat, too.

3

u/carbondalio 7d ago

An electric shark? Don't let him know those exist, that shit would break the last bits of his brain, or worse, short circuit it and fix it

3

u/Pixel_Knight 7d ago

Maybe we should try the electric generator in water surrounding Trump.

2

u/Numerous_Photograph9 7d ago

Just have the baby shark theme to play whenever he wonders from the podium.

77

u/gfh110 Pennsylvania 7d ago

If we weren't living in bizarro clown shit world that moment (and/or a few dozen others) should have ended his campaign.

66

u/InsuranceToTheRescue I voted 7d ago

Comments about broccoli took down Bush the Elder, but this fucking guy gets a pass on bragging about sexual assault.

33

u/Clean_Philosophy5098 7d ago

GOP used to pretend to have morals. Now it’s all about power to punish the libs

1

u/ChainLC 6d ago

Howard Dean was destroyed by one "scream".

9

u/_ZoeyDaveChapelle_ Minnesota 7d ago

Howard Dean is like.. What the actual fuck!

5

u/Im_with_stooopid I voted 6d ago

Heeyah

1

u/_ZoeyDaveChapelle_ Minnesota 6d ago

HEEEYOOAHH!!

Thank you for getting my joke. 🖤

9

u/Do_Whuuuut 7d ago

Biden could use a page outta puddin's playbook and walk out onstage w a bald eagle

2

u/Penguin_shit15 Oklahoma 7d ago

This is brilliant.

5

u/SpiceLaw 7d ago

Seems prescient that the animal representation of America attacks a traitor.

3

u/harryregician 7d ago

Trump learned how to drink water on camera from Marco Rubio

3

u/Roakana 7d ago

I like the idea of an obstacle course to get to the stage that has those tests.

3

u/catfurcoat 7d ago

Please tell me this asshole isn't going to be around for a fourth candidacy

4

u/MethForHarold 7d ago

Be the change you want to see in the world

5

u/Deodorized 7d ago

Successfully take a drink of water

Trump drinking water reminds me of those videos of mid-flight plane refuelling, specifically the telescoping lips, just probing around trying to find something to latch onto.

5

u/Penguin_shit15 Oklahoma 7d ago

Dude.. Just..Wow.... Now I will ALWAYS SEE THIS. Fucking well done and 1000% accurate.

3

u/Deodorized 7d ago

I'm sorry for the damage I caused you.

3

u/Penguin_shit15 Oklahoma 7d ago

And I'm sorry in advance for probably stealing it from you! lol.. ( I wont)

Oh shit! Dude.. You HAVE to submit this idea to Photoshop battles or whatever its called.

2

u/corgisandbikes 6d ago

Tbf eagles are fucking scarry. They are huge.

1

u/MarkXIX 7d ago

I think the spelling for Trump is “doughy nut”

0

u/Kamelasa Canada 7d ago

His ignorance around animals was vivid in that clip. Astoundingly ignorant. He treats people the same way, but a lot of them let him bully them.

I don't understand why he has trouble handling a glass of water. Possibly he prefers pop cans??? Maybe that's it.

0

u/MarsCowboys 7d ago

Finally, your obsession can be shared again.

35

u/eternal_sorreaux 7d ago

That would be awesome if CNN had a ramp set up, and you have to walk down it to access the debate stage.

23

u/MJcorrieviewer 7d ago

Or they have to ride a bike onto the stage.

22

u/SammySoapsuds Minnesota 7d ago

Biden only rides bikes when there's ice cream involved. I'm not knocking him, I have the same general rule.

1

u/monsterflake 7d ago

walk up a ramp to a bicycle, get on it and ride back down to their podium.

-3

u/MJcorrieviewer 7d ago

That might cause 2 candidates with broken hips!

0

u/jlenney1 6d ago

Or stairs that they have to walk up.

-1

u/manzanita2 7d ago

I've been hoping for a "presidential race" for a long time. A 100 yard dash. fully televised.

15

u/Davis_Birdsong 7d ago

Never fight uphill, m'laddies?

12

u/teacherdrama 7d ago

I thought it was "me boys," no?

3

u/braveulysees 7d ago

"Horrible...and beautiful too"

22

u/Ent3rpris3 7d ago

Just give him his bottle of water when he walks on the stage, then he won't have a free hand to swing with.

2

u/Anna_Frican 7d ago

That guy has a drinking problem.

5

u/XennialBoomBoom 7d ago

Or a glass of water. You need at least two tiny hands to assail the legally elected President.

2

u/Mczern 7d ago

That should actually be part of the debate. Have both candidates walk on a ramp unassisted and then drink a glass of water as quickly as possible.

1

u/SensitiveTechnology9 6d ago

Disability doesnt preclude ability to govern imo. 

2

u/SammySoapsuds Minnesota 7d ago

Just a slight decline, honestly

2

u/SpleenBender Illinois 7d ago

Or sharks, batteries, windmills, low flow showers, a toilet flushing 11 times, Biden using deadly force at Maralago, a strong wind, honesty, and dignity.

I could go on for paragraphs, you get it.

2

u/[deleted] 7d ago

Or a shark

1

u/MaleficentOstrich693 7d ago

Or like a razor wire barricade, lol.

1

u/zipzzo 7d ago

Biden is still the president. There's no shot at Trump's groundspeed he makes it even halfway across the stage before he's on the ground in secret service cuffs.

1

u/Im_with_stooopid I voted 6d ago

Hide your BigMacs.

1

u/grissomhank 7d ago

That would be a race to breaking a hip!