r/facepalm 13d ago

Now wait a damn minute 🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​

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u/GleamingCadance 13d ago

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u/circuit_breaker 13d ago

I remember when COVID hit & every state was reporting #s except Alabama. Someone said COVID skipped it because it wasn't bio diverse enough. 😂

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u/wakim82 13d ago

Same issue in West Virginia, West Virginia was the last state to report a case...the entire time I lived in WV, while WORKING AT A HOSPITAL I didn't catch COVID.

I legit never saw albino people in the wild until I moved there...then boom...everywhere because the albino family kept fucking each other.

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u/understepped 13d ago

because the albino family kept fucking each other.

Goddamn recessive genes don’t let people show true love to their family members.

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u/Aggressive_Price2075 10d ago

They do though! They show it visibly every day.

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u/nneeeeeeerds 13d ago

In every other state, there's a phrase, "When they come down from the mountain." Except West Virginia. West Virginia is the mountain.

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u/_SteeringWheel 13d ago

Not that I ever intended visiting West Virginia, but now you made me scared to do so.

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u/BHweldmech 13d ago

Honestly, WV is a stunningly beautiful place. That being said, if you’re on a canoe and hear banjos, you need to paddle faster.

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u/naughtycal11 13d ago

"You sure got a perdy mouth"

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u/ianmgonzalez 13d ago

"Why thank you!" - clueless tourist unable to read the room.

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u/thejadedcitizen 13d ago

Squeal , squeal like a pig

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u/Scottiegazelle2 12d ago

Alas Georgia claims Deliverance.

One of the best Jeff Foxworthy skits right before the Atlanta Olympics pointed out there were gonna be a bunch of dudes in tight shorts headed down the river where they filmed Deliverance... and the Olympics were never the same again lol.

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u/Deep-Procrastinor 12d ago

Duh duh dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. In the voice of a Banjo.

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u/_SteeringWheel 13d ago

I'll keep that in mind for sure. Kind of like the redneck on a child's bike in Illinois 😬

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u/illbedeadbydawn 13d ago

Contrary to popular belief, Deliverance was set in Georgia, not WV.

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u/GetAtMe_0_ 13d ago

Same shit, different toilet

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u/egmono 13d ago

If you're on the toilet, and you hear banjo music...

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u/NoPresence2436 13d ago

Wipe faster?

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u/_SteeringWheel 13d ago

Deliverance? I was talking about my own trip down route 66 :)

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u/illbedeadbydawn 13d ago

I'm from Albuquerque, so my Route 66 is MUCH different to the one in Missouri...

Rt. 66 doesn't really go through the dirty south.

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u/_SteeringWheel 13d ago

I know, we steered clear from the real dirt south, but we had a nice borderline encounter to realize that was just all for the best.

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u/TheLilPete 13d ago

But wrong turn (original) was definitely West Virginia

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u/Chainsawd 13d ago

It's just that West Virginia has strong "Deliverance vibes," not necessarily that we all think the movie took place there.

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u/-o-DildoGaggins-o- 13d ago

I was just about to make a “Deliverance” comment. 😂 I was gonna say that I live in WV, but in a … civilized … area. I’ve definitely driven through “Deliverance” more than one or seven times, though.

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u/Penguin_shit15 12d ago

Fuck.. I always thought it was Arkansas!

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u/throwsadisc09 13d ago

You be speaking the southern Illinois local legend Junior Patton

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u/WillowIntrepid 13d ago

I haven't seen much of the USA but from what I've seen, WV is the most beautiful! Love it!

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u/BHweldmech 13d ago

It truly is beautiful, but the residents outside of the larger towns are fucking scary.

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u/WillowIntrepid 13d ago

😂😂😂 I get it! I've seen what I can envision as similar when I visited Arkansas. Went into a small quick stop/gas station and there was a woman behind the counter talking loudly at a co-worker. She was gorgeous, perfect makeup and hair well coifed. Then she turned to ask us if we were ready to check out. I felt horrible for her. I'll just say the other side didn't match at all.

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u/OldBlueTX 13d ago

As long as you aren't by any settlement.

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u/GleamingCadance 13d ago

Otherwise it might Turn into a Play-by-Play of Deliverance

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u/johnathonCrowley 13d ago

Just don’t ask your doctor to blame the black lung you caught working in the coal mines on you working in the coal minds.

Unironically and unapologetically illegal.

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u/GleamingCadance 13d ago

Where tf this come from?

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u/WhitePineBurning 13d ago

There are some rare blue areas in WV. Lewisburg is one. Unfortunately, the state's so gerrymandered that Lewisburg is split into two districts, right down the middle of town at US 219.

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u/Afraidtoadmitit69 13d ago

That’s kinda like being up in the mountains in Tennessee. Girl I dated took me up to show me where she grew up. As we are driving down these narrow ass gravel roads she tells me, “if we get stopped, let me do the talking. Some people up here don’t like people they don’t know being up here. So if we are stopped, I’ll just tell them whose daughter I am and we’ll be fine. But if you came up by yourself, if the wrong person stopped you, you wouldn’t leave here.”

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u/LizzieThatGirl 13d ago

Yep, been in those spots. You learn to avoid clan roads up in the mountains if you don't know anyone up there, for sure

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u/BHweldmech 13d ago

I grew up in a very similar area in southern Virginia.

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u/Trashman82 12d ago

As much as people like to shit on the south/appalachia about stuff like this, every state has parts where non locals aren't welcome. Its usually rural areas where folks turned to farming weed, they tend to assume strangers are feds coming to raid them. I've lived in California and Oklahoma and both states have areas like this.

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u/Scatterspell 12d ago

If you don't make it, you'll be praying for deliverance...

Thank you, I'll be here all day.

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u/Peter-Tao 13d ago

Don't know if the view with the risk 🥶

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u/GleamingCadance 13d ago

And in the Opposite Direction

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u/KlossN 13d ago

I have been practicing my pig squeal after all

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u/circuit_breaker 13d ago

dueling banjos intensifies

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u/magicunicornhandler 13d ago

In the other direction

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u/Grahf-Naphtali 13d ago

hear banjos

Silent Hill 1 intro every time

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u/Top_Rekt 13d ago

Fallout 76 is basically just a simulation of living in WV.

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u/w_a_w 13d ago

Deliverance was N GA.

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u/BHweldmech 13d ago

I’m aware.

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u/thefatchef321 13d ago

What do they call a virgin is west Virginia?

Faster than her brother!

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u/thewhitecat55 13d ago

I drove through it recently and it was beautiful. But I didn't stop

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u/BHweldmech 13d ago

Fantastic play. Although, whitewater rafting the New River Gorge is AMAZING.

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u/thewhitecat55 12d ago

Oh , I'm really interested in doing some white water rafting !

But, um..... That's not the "Deliverance" river, is it ?

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u/BHweldmech 12d ago

Nah, that was in north Georgia.

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u/anticute8 13d ago

Bullshit that’s not what West Virginia is known for

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u/BHweldmech 13d ago

Dude, it’s a joke, not a dick, don’t take it so hard.

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u/No-Sense-6260 13d ago

There's some natural beauty but it's not in the population. 😂

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u/EllisDee3 12d ago

It's in the cryptid population.

Mothman, Flatwoods Monster, Grafton Monster, Ogua, Sasquatch, Sheepsquatch, Wampus Cat, Snallygaster, and the frequent UFO.

Maybe we should just get the people out of WV.

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u/No-Sense-6260 12d ago

Mothman is hot AF.

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u/Regular-Exchange4333 13d ago

This whole thing is why I love reddit. Happy Friday folks!!

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u/TheBestThingIEverSaw 13d ago

I like beans and such

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u/artrockero 13d ago

Specially near the holidays when they come down the mountains into town for gifts —

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u/LogiCsmxp 13d ago

No it's actually safer. You aren't related so all good.

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u/Forsaken-Opposite381 12d ago

While it is some beautiful country, I think a lot of the people there wish they could escape. Years ago, while on a road trip to Virginia Beach with a buddy, we stopped at the Hooter's in Charleston for a meal and a beer. We did not stay long, and we did not flirt a lot with the waitress or leave a huge tip. When we left, the young woman ran out to our car and practically begged us to take her with, not knowing anything about us.

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u/_SteeringWheel 11d ago

I didn't encounter that emotion much tbh. Some memorable people were the 80 Yr old hotel lady and bald wall of a cop in Oklahoma, hot waitress chick in St Louis, drooling all over me till 2AM cause I looked so "European" (only to bluebell me later) and weirdo hippy guy from Vegas who I also ran into in LA :) Not forgetting the lovely old ladies from the hotel in New Mexico, who kept feeding us samples of the most delicious tex mex food until we were full. Oh, and there at that bar.we did met another weirdo! But he was 80 yrs old and taken well care of by the same ladies :)

*Edit: Oh shit, and the weird housewives party I ended up at in one of the two Springfields I was at.

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u/Forsaken-Opposite381 11d ago

Aren't road trips fun? You never do know just what will happen and what you will see. Like cops chasing down and tackling a guy in just his underwear at the University of Virginia at about 11:00 p.m., And a gay guy hitting on my buddy in Virginia Beach, beautiful waitress in Gettysburg ... There is a story to every adventure out on the road!

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u/_SteeringWheel 11d ago

Lol nice! You keep on mentioning places that I didnt visit, but they sound even more fun. And I already had a blast :)

Sorry, and only now I realize I am replying on a different thread then I thought where the same topic came on. Hence the enthusiasm :D

Funny thing is, that I don't recall any interaction with a cop (apart from the chat in OK). We never got pulled over, never asked for ID anywhere, never even saw a police chase or anything.

We did get to sit in a fire truck in Chicago though!

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u/Forsaken-Opposite381 11d ago

Wherever you go you will meet up with interesting and strange people and sites. Sometimes it is not that pleasant at the time but leaves with some insight and an interesting story, other times, it can be a lot of fun! Enjoy the ride!

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u/PlanktonMoist6048 13d ago

Blue people in Kentucky, an actual thing, it's genetic.

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u/Euporophage 13d ago

Yeah, it's a condition called methemoglobinemia. Basically their body oxidizes most of their hemoglobin into methemoglobin, which uses Fe³ rather than Fe² to bond with oxygen and appears bluish-purple in coloration. 

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u/Hot-Rise9795 13d ago

This is how morlocks are created

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u/Caliterra 13d ago

The Ancient bloodline of Valyria must remain pure

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u/Sure-Psychology6368 13d ago

I heard that in West Virginia, the typically way to perform a circumcision is to kick the guys sister in the chin. Did you ever see that done at the hospital you worked at?

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u/Trumpville-Imbeciles 13d ago

That's wild. How many albino people are we talking?

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u/Signal_Procedure4607 13d ago

What do they look like? Like that family in that x-files banned episode?

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u/wakim82 13d ago

Like Powder, only with hair...and instead of geniuses they were...well...you can guess...

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u/NoPresence2436 13d ago

I mean, nobody else was going to fuck them.

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u/WhoLetMeHaveReddit 13d ago

Oh great, the joke about crime being difficult to solve because all the DNA matches still applies 😂

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u/Groundbreaking_Cup30 13d ago

Missouri was bribing doctors & coroners to ensure they didn't put COVID on the death certificate as cause of death...

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u/Striking_Book8277 11d ago

Haha I mean they gotta keep it going some how seeing those red eyes would make me think I fucking satan

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u/ParticularLack6400 13d ago

Can never forget that one X-Files episode. It may not have been W VA, but it was about about a similar population.

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u/summerlea1 13d ago

Omg you’re so right. I live in the PA/WV border and let’s just say that there’s a reason their license plates say “Wild and Wonderful” on them! 😂

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u/GleamingCadance 13d ago edited 13d ago

I never had it either. Boss even made me get tested (Cause i hated wearing a Mask) and Both Ready & Official Tests cane back negative

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u/Sovereignty3 13d ago

But that isn't how diseases work, they love having individuals who are closely related. That's why there isn't as many animals that reproduce without sex. If anything it might be that they all got a milk version.

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u/being_honest_friend 10d ago

Now Texas no longer shares their maternity death numbers. They want to and will stop reporting their “grape” numbers too.
They want to do like Louisiana and make a law where one cannot file for public information. Bypass the public information act. If they want to know the truth (what they are spending tax money on for example) of what is happening ….tough.

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u/[deleted] 13d ago

What is #s ?

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u/ReadTravelMe 13d ago

I say this as someone from Alabama: they aren’t fat enough to be from here

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u/Over-Ice-8403 13d ago

They look Arab.

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u/Sir_Thomas_Wyatt 9d ago

Nope, they don't look redneck enough to be from Arab, Alabama.

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u/fedpe 13d ago

Roll Tide!!!

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u/aztecdethwhistle 13d ago

Don't give a piss about nothing cept the Tide!

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u/crackheadwillie 13d ago

Saudi Arabia makes Alabama look like a model of marital diversity. 

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u/paid_rapist 13d ago

That's a funny meme! Did you know that 53% of marriages in Pakistan are between cousins? That's interesting!

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u/GleamingCadance 13d ago

Thats because 90% of those Marriages are Pre-Arranged because of Money

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u/w_a_w 13d ago

And tradition. I read an account recently here where modernized/highly educated immigrants from PStan in the UK tried to point out the genetic fucktionality to their siblings and were soundly rebuffed and dismissed. Humanity is doomed.

Religion truly is the opiate of the masses to the detriment of humanity as a whole.

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u/obsidianbull702 13d ago

Damn interesting

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u/GleamingCadance 13d ago edited 13d ago

Well if the Christians are Right and we are all children of their "Magical Sky Daddy" then Technically that makes us all Inbred

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u/Ms_Emilys_Picture 13d ago

There were a couple of points in the bible, Adam and Eve and Noah, where there weren't many options but family. So for that to be true, we've reached at least two incest bottlenecks.

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u/paid_rapist 13d ago

Are Christian tight? Drawing conclusions from a sample of 1 is bad science but your mom was screaming "Oh God" a lot last night, so I"m leaning towards yes.

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u/bsharp1982 13d ago

My ex fiancé ended up marrying his cousin. “That’s gross!” came out of my mouth before I could even stop it.

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u/1stLtObvious 12d ago

Done for the same reasons as Europeans used to do it, and much more recently than people like to admit.

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u/doingthehumptydance 13d ago

Roll Tide!

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u/AnLornuthin 13d ago

Yoooo😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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u/Solid_Snake_125 13d ago

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u/1stLtObvious 12d ago

This is one of those memes that will live on.

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u/Reptilian_Brain_420 13d ago

Saudi Arabia more likely.

Edit: Albania apparently, same principle applies.

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u/RidgewoodGirl 13d ago

At least West Virginia and Kentucky caught a break.

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u/TearsOfChildren 13d ago

How much longer will this stereotype exist? Lol It's legal in one way or another to marry your cousin in over 20 states. Incest was never even that big of a thing in Alabama.

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u/GleamingCadance 12d ago

Itll continue until the End of time

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u/Defiant_Review1582 13d ago

Funny but most likely Utah

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u/Venik489 13d ago

They actually look like they’re more than likely Eastern European.

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u/[deleted] 13d ago

Wait so they’re cousins?

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u/Wildvikeman 13d ago

Definitely West Virginia. Both look to have the same dental records.

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u/Training_Waltz_9032 13d ago

Here she come, she a commin’

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u/greensandgrains 13d ago

Pretty sure those aren’t white people…

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u/thatshimoverthere 13d ago

banjos intesify