Someone called me a “thicker girl” when describing me today - got me feeling a bit discouraged with where I’m at in my journey (5’4” 130lbs)

[u/bazookiedookie]

How do you you guys handle stuff like this? I didn’t say anything to the person because I don’t think they necessarily were saying it negatively, but idk I hate when people comment on women’s bodies like that.

I’m probably being overly sensitive but hearing that made me feel like I’m kinda failing in my fitness journey. I’ve plateaued here at the 130 mark (goal weight is 120) and this comment has gotten in my head a bit. I kinda thought I looked average right now, but didn’t really considered myself to be “thick”

I definitely carry my weight in my waist and hips unfortunately. But we all know you can’t do “spot” weight loss.

Any encouragement is welcome. How do you handle these situations? What do you tell yourself?

[u/peachykeen__]

Jesus christ, I felt hurt just reading that. I'm so sorry. I hope he's out of your life!

[u/feloniousfeline → u/peachykeen__]

Ugh same, I read that and somehow MY feelings got hurt too but I think because it’s just so reminiscent of the types of past friendships I’ve had. Until the pandemic, I was never anything other than a size 2 and yet due to my height and curves have had people casually call me “thicker” and “soft” among other terms I can’t imagine ever saying to another person for no reason.

[u/JackieBouvier → u/feloniousfeline]

Yes! That's exactly it. I AM curvy. I have a big chest. I have very muscular legs. I'll NEVER look super skinny and I am okay with that.

I was living with a roommate at the time that I was very good friends with, and she would always worry that she never saw me eating and was concerned I had disordered eating, I told her what he said after it happened and she was LIVID on my behalf and it did make me feel better that I wasn't being oversensitive. I remember telling her, "He reassured me there were some guys out there that would be okay with my body type." And she blinked and went, "...Thin with big boobs?"

This guy is VERY troubled (I do think drugs were involved) and when he came back to NYC from LA I don't think he had any actual genuine friends who cared about him and was really being pretty abusive to me for a while. I can look back and recognize that he was trying to beat me down and make me more insecure so that I would depend on him more and feel like I needed him.

He also told me he didn't like my clothes and told me I needed a whole fashion makeover--meanwhile, A LOT of people compliment me on my clothes and my style, and my company even had superlatives and I was voted "Most Snazzy Dresser" every year (in a New York City PR office!) I told him that and his response was, "But you're single."

Ugh, he is honestly a raging narcissist and I hope he hasn't found a new woman to abuse.

[u/Puplove2319 → u/JackieBouvier]

Sounds like he was jealous of you