That's what happened to me after 4 years. I also asked for couples therapy etc but he treated me like I was the worst person alive and no therapy would ever make me good enough to even be his friend again. It was traumatizing. He hates me and resents me for wasting 4 years of his life it seems and won't even talk to me. And I still try to understand him like the idiot I am lol. He did it just after he found some new friends so it feels like he decided he didn't need me anymore and replaced my friendship first.
I have some questions if you don't mind
Did you feel any guilt for blindsiding at that moment, or did you not realize it at all?
Did you resent her for wasting your time on the whole relationship or something similar to that? Were you angry at her for 'failing' the relationship?
Did you convince yourself that she was toxic to justify breaking up? Blame her for your own flaws?
Were you cruel or mean during the breakup? to a point where you felt safe/certain enough there would be no way back even if you wanted?
11
u/Connect_Marsupial773 4d ago
That's what happened to me after 4 years. I also asked for couples therapy etc but he treated me like I was the worst person alive and no therapy would ever make me good enough to even be his friend again. It was traumatizing. He hates me and resents me for wasting 4 years of his life it seems and won't even talk to me. And I still try to understand him like the idiot I am lol. He did it just after he found some new friends so it feels like he decided he didn't need me anymore and replaced my friendship first.
I have some questions if you don't mind
Did you feel any guilt for blindsiding at that moment, or did you not realize it at all?
Did you resent her for wasting your time on the whole relationship or something similar to that? Were you angry at her for 'failing' the relationship?
Did you convince yourself that she was toxic to justify breaking up? Blame her for your own flaws?
Were you cruel or mean during the breakup? to a point where you felt safe/certain enough there would be no way back even if you wanted?