Your ex misses you. If you were with them for a significant amount of time and had good memories together than they definitely think about you and miss you. I’m not saying this to get anyone’s hopes up that their ex is coming back or that they are regretting their decision. I just think it’s sad that the posts I see on here talks about their ex not thinking about their existence or that they mean nothing to them. That’s just not true.

I know my ex misses me even though he hasn’t told me. We were with each other for 4 years and even though we made mistakes and could have definitely done stuff differently at the end of the day we love and care about one another. Even though I’m sure my ex doesn’t think about getting back together I know that he misses me and thinks about me. Like I miss and think about him.

No one can wipe a person from their memories. It’s just not possible. In the beginning of my healing process I thought that my ex didn’t miss me and thinks about all the mistakes I made in the relationship. Honestly after some time we mostly remember the good things about the relationship. That’s why so many people get back together after a while.

Just know that you are amazing and you are someone who is definitely being missed. Just know with time that you will feel better. You will be happy again.

With how things stand right now, whatever the timeframe, whatever terms you’re with them right this moment

Mine “you meant so much to me, I wish I treated you better, I really did love you as much as I said I did”

They say they love us but are not “in love” anymore so break it off, offering to stay friends and saying they still care about us immensely. But then why do they suddenly become cold and indifferent, barely answering texts about logistics of the shared lease, finances, or belongings? How do they walk out the door and immediately start treating you like a stranger, leaving you to pick up the pieces of your broken heart and sort out the logistics? Why can’t they give us a little grace and kindness as we come to terms with being blindsided and abandoned instead of ghosting us when we ask to talk for some clarity weeks later? Why do they make the heartbreak so much harder?

I feel so lost and confused at the moment. My bf of 3 yrs just woke up from his nap and said he wants to talk and said he is breaking up cause he doesn’t feel happy. I dnt know what he wants me to do? He wants space so I started keeping myself busy with various hobbies and going out with friends. He doesn’t want to do anything over the weekend with me anymore. I have tried everything I could but it seems like nothing I do makes him happy. We just traveled two weeks back to another country to see his favourite band playing. Just 3 days back I asked him where was this relationship heading he said towards marriage. We have been living together for 2 years and like every relationship we have our ups and downs. He was planing book tickets this weekend to come visit my family this month. He was dropping hints about getting engaged since last few months. How does someone go from wanting to do all that to break up?

Personally, I do choose to keep them.. Pictures on my phone, childhood pics, diaries, necklaces, old student IDs, everything. I keep every single one I get from them. Not as a form of desperate attachment, but to remind myself and show myself that even if things ended, no matter how hard or sad or bitter it was, I loved them with to the best of my capabilities and with my whole being.

I keep them because it reminds me that love isn't some trap or meaningless thing, no matter how much it breaks me. Because in spite of it all, I loved the only way I knew how, and that the love I gave was as real as I could ever show.

But what about you guys? What do you think?

If you've got any other questions you wanna ask me about why I think this way, feel free to ask too. Don't be shy ^ ^

How do you guys get thru your days? I'm thinking about him all the time. It's been a month. Do you just sit at home and be sad? How do you keep from getting dangerously depressed? I'm worried this will push me over into a serious depression. I've tried a lot of things to feel better. But nothing seems to work more than an hour.

It’s been a week since the person I love told me they realized they don’t love me back after 8 months together, and that they still love their ex from before me. I oscillate between devastated and enraged—both with lots of crying.

If you’ve survived a heartbreak, how did you do it? Were you able to love again? Be happy again? When did it stop hurting so bad? Is there another side to come out on?

Love to all 💓❤️🫶🏻

The way things stand right now, no matter how it ended, no matter the length of time, in whatever terms you are at this very moment

I (33m) broke up with my ex (28f) of 3 years. Our relationship was non toxic and primarily happy. However, i never communicated my feelings fully to her, leading to an environment where we didnt and couldn’t communicate. I blindsided her and broke up with her one day unprompted. She asked to do anything and everything like couples therapy, or what she could do differently to save the relationship… i told her there was nothing.

I was an avoidant through and through, and i fully regret what i did one year ago during our breakup.

There’s a lot more to the story, but AMA

I (27M) recently broke up with my (27F) partner in May, and am now going through dumpers regret. We were in a 2.5 year long term relationship, and we moved to a new city together 2 years ago.

I honestly thought she was the one for me now looking back at the relationship. We never fought, we were super compatible/had so many common interests, and everything was super good.

However, in March, I realized I was developing feelings for someone else, which made me look into/question my relationship. Note: I had no intentions on pursuing this person during or after my break up

I went to a therapist and they said that it sounded like I was trying to determine whether I was in love with my partner or whether I was in love with just being in a relationship generally. I also had some doubts about our relationship: I wanted to settle down in this new city (she didn’t); I wanted marriage and kids (she didn’t). During March and April, my partner and I were discussing all of these issues. During one of our convos, she said that I was the one for her/this was it for her, and for some reason, I wasn’t sure if this was “it” for me. Also, she asked me why I loved her, and I listed all of these reasons, and then she responded with “those are none of my qualities”.

I had a 4 month trip abroad beginning in April, and felt like I needed to make a decision on whether to break up or not. Ultimately, I decided to break up because I determined I didn’t love her anymore; that I wasn’t in the relationship for the right reasons; and that the doubts I had weren’t solvable. She wanted me to stay in the relationship to work through these issues, but for some reason I chose to walk away.

In May, I realized I regretted my decision and that my doubts were likely fixable. I also realized that I was framing my mindset wrong in April. I needed to ask myself whether I was happy in the relationship and not whether I was in love or not because there is more to a relationship than just love. I reached out to her to get back together, but she said she couldn’t because the damage is too severe and not fixable.

I’m currently going to therapy to work on my issues. I now realize she was probably the one for me, and I know I made a huge mistake and I take full acccountability for it.

My question is how do I move on? She was the perfect partner and we had such a good relationship that I don’t think I’ll ever find that again.

We were together 5 years, but things blew up last summer. We had a really messy break-up because we were both going through some difficult personal and work-related things. Instead of helping one another, we became cynical and bitter. A lot of hurtful things were said. He eventually ended things with a letter.

Anyways, I reached out last week and asked if we could catch up sometime. He agreed and we spoke for nearly 5 hours last night.

I know most people say 'closure only comes from within' - but when things blow up and ties are cut suddenly, closure becomes something you inherently long for.

A lot of my questions were answered. I hopefully was able to provide him some closure as well.

I also found out he has a girlfriend now. Although this briefly made me sad, I am genuinely happy for him.

Anyways. I've healed a lot in this past year. But I always had these few threads in our rope that kept holding out hope. I'm glad I was finally able to cut them last night.

While I understand why people argue against seeking closure from others, some of us benefit from a deeper understanding of things. Just be prepared to either receive no response, or receive a response which you don't want to hear.

Sending hugs to y'all 💕

I got broken up with a week ago. The relationship was only 9 months, but it felt like my whole life. It’s so hard to remember who I was before the relationship. And I can’t even begin to think what my life will be now. And I don’t want to. For the first time ever, I believed in soul mates. Everything was going well from what I could tell. But out of nowhere, she left me. And to make it worse, she pointed out genuine character flaws. Good reasons to leave someone. But I didn’t know these things bothers her so I never had a chance to work on myself. I miss so much. Going to see movies, introducing each other to our favorite music, cuddling, talking about our days. The good morning messages. The goodnight messages. The rants about bad days. The excitement of good ones. The boredom of slow ones. I miss all of it.

Right now, I’m still holding onto pain and trauma from the past even though it’s been a long time. I still feel that this was the most devastating thing and has changed me forever. Deeply impacted me and my depression and existential crisis. The cruelty of that experience has been unlike anything else.

If she came back I would only do as I did the last time we talked which is defend myself and have self-respect. Although I’m okay with her never coming back. I'm okay with being alone and not being loved. I’m done looking for a happy ending or valuing connection.

If she came back and by then I didn't hold on to the trauma, I’d tell her I forgive her, as in, let go of the pain. But I wouldn’t want her friendship nor to remain in contact nor her apologies, either.

I can’t listen to certain songs anymore because they are part of some good memories that were made, now I can only ever feel depressed thinking about or listening to them.

I swear I remember someone saying to not have music be a big thing or something because you would just only ever feel sad listening to it

There you have it. My partner broke up last friday because he felt that his depression was affecting me and he kept saying he didn't want to break up but he doesn't want to waste my time. This happened two days ago and I'm an absolute mess.

I'm having a hard time. My behavior is so erratic and makes no sense to me yet I can't stop myself. Yesterday I drove to my parent's house to stay the night. I saw my plants at the house were dying. I asked my mom to take care of it but the plants were dying. Originally i'd moved it from my apartment to the house because during school breaks I stay at my parent's house. I started erratically crying and felt this compulsion that I had to drive all the way back to my apartment in the middle of the night and put the plants back where they were. I did get these with my ex but i don't think thats related. I've been crying all day all night. I feel no desire to do things anymore. I feel like I have to force myself to just keep going.

Today even after hours of crying i stopped and found myself laughing at some instagram reel and then that triggered me to cry for hours. I remember when I used to just send him reels all the time. I just feel so alone and so hurt. I'd planned to send two final texts on tuesday just to really confirm things are over. I thought that would make me feel better to plan that. But still I'm struggling. I'm trying to be okay but I'm not and I just don't feel okay at all. I feel like a part of me is dying. Please tell me this is temporary. This is honestly so much worse than anything I've been through before.

It is so soul-sapping, this left-swiping. Hundreds of profiles and I've only come across a handful of potentials. I keep looking for my ex's attributes, from physical features to hobbies. I'm not rebounding, we've been broken up for months (and it was a very short relationship), but I honestly keep thinking 'why not reach out to him, I want him, I don't want these guys, guy X's muscles aren't as big as {ex name]'s, guy Z's cooking skills don't seem to be a great as [ex's name].' It was less than a 6-month relationship.

How could someone go from planning the entire year with you and then dump you right after? Sucks how he planned on going places and visiting other country with you, looking for flights and hotels, planning on celebrating birthday together, renting airbnb for a month on some place he found and him visiting you in your home country, and then broke it all off not even 24hrs after planning. Damn how could someone be this cruel? How can I move on from this? Now he’s not even talking to me. Everyday is just plain painful😞

My ex (M29) broke up with me (F28) 3 weeks ago after being together for two years. I was also feeling like it was time to end it, but I lead with my heart and was still in love so couldn’t do it yet. While we ended on good terms, I’ve been having a really hard time accepting and facing the fact that it’s over. So I basically just spent the past 3 weeks crying to him on the phone, not asking for him back but just telling him how painful it was and how sad I felt. Meanwhile, he’s been seemingly totally fine and logical and even went on a date. He even told me he loves me but isn’t in love anymore.

I finally made the decision today to go no contact. I feel so pathetic though. I feel like I spent 3 weeks looking like an idiot while he’s totally fine. I want him to miss me and I feel like now he just sees me as sad and desperate.

I miss her so much and want to be around her, talk to her, hold her, be with her. Unfortunately I can’t. She wants to move on and not pursue her, but it’s so hard to turn it off like a switch. I heard a quote that feels so pertinent. The grief I have is just all the love I have for her with nowhere to go.

So for context I broke it off with my ex last month. She was devastated and I feel awful about that, she hadn’t done anything wrong I just need some time to myself. I’ve got a whole lifetime of emotional baggage and issues with drugs which I want to sort through, which I’m doing in therapy.

The reason I broke it off was because I’m unsure of kids and marriage and I know they’ve always wanted it, I’m late 20’s for reference. I know that I don’t have to make a decision now but after 4 years already in a relationship I didn’t want to take more of a chance that it was a certain no for me and deprive her of that. A big part of not wanting these things is because of my past and not wanting to put kids through what I went through, it terrifies me.

I wish I conveyed these feelings to her and spoke to her about them. I’m fully regretting my decision and wish I could take that day back. Day by day I’m just doing enough. I try making plans, starting new hobbies, being active, eating clean. I just feel like there’s this part of me that’s just missing.

When I broke up with her, she begged me not to do it. I just knew I was in a dark place and was pretty fucked up. I didn’t want to put her through the potential of another 4 years wasted to find out I couldn’t provide her with what she wanted. That I couldn’t give her kids, that I couldn’t marry her, or worse, years of grieving. It’s not that I didn’t want to, it’s that i could see myself turning more and more into my parents by the day that I knew how those outcomes would be.

She said to me that if I ever changed my mind, that I wanted to make this work I should tell her. My therapist thinks I should convey these feelings. My family thinks I shouldn’t unless I’m absolutely sure, which I agree. Thing is I’ve never been absolutely sure about anything in my life. I’m always changing my decision on things.

We’ve spoken twice since the breakup. First time went okay, second time she told me not to contact. She would reach out if she wanted to. Which I get, I’m the one who broke her heart. I know I can’t contact her again, even if I was 100% sure.

I’m trying to do new things to distract myself, it just seems that every time I find myself missing what I had. I’ve not even laughed since I last saw her. My juggled nights of seeing her and doing my own thing are now just doing my own thing every night. Finding what I used to love doing just draining.

My friends and family all think I’ve done the right thing. To me it feels like this is going to be the biggest mistake of my life. I made the decision in what felt like a complete nervous breakdown. I was so overwhelmed when I started therapy I just started self destructing. I was feeling emotions I hadn’t felt since I was a kid and even cried for the first time in 14 years.

I miss everything about her, I miss her texts being the first thing I wake up to, I miss her drunken midnight calls just to chat, I miss our nights cooking together and watching tv cuddled up, I miss doing plans together. I wish I got my shit together sooner so that this never happened.

Nearly five months ago, I (23F) broke up with my now-ex (25M) after 3 years of dating. We had been together since college, did long distance for a little after, and then moved to the same city (living separately). There were things in our relationship that I thought were caused by the distance, but once we lived close, I didn’t feel we were the same people as when we started dating and would probably continue to grow differently as we are so young.

The breakup really blindsided him, which is my fault as I hid my emotions as they developed until I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I know I completely broke his heart. He thought we would get married a few years down the line. I knew all of his friends and family. He broke down crying but eventually accepted how I felt and wanted me to be happy.

He is genuinely one of the kindest people I have known in my life. I told him I wanted nothing but pure happiness for him. I want him to have the type of love where someone is so excited to see him every day and loves him so enthusiastically. He of all people deserves amazing and beautiful things.

I don’t regret that we broke up. I still have a lot of self discovery and development to do before “settling down,” which I know he feels a lot more ready for. Still, I can’t shake the guilt of hurting him. Regardless of whether I saw a relationship working out between the two of us, I will always hold a lot of love for him as he is such a great person. I hate to imagine I caused him pain, but I know I did and there’s nothing I can do to fix it now.

Does anyone have any advice for finding forgiveness for myself?

i genuinely don’t think i’ll be able to feel love again after him. i haven’t closed myself off from love but no one is able to make feel the way he did. i don’t get excited when new guys DM me or take me out on dates. we simply don’t click how him and i did. i remember the way i would get butterflies looking at him and how we had an instant connection that felt like a soul tie. i really thought we would be together forever. i’m broken…

I’m losing my mind. Crying all the time. My chest hurts from the crying. He’s already dating someone else and I keep thinking about him with her. I treated him so well idk what I did wrong. I’ve started looking into suicide because i don’t know what else to do. This is so painful and I’m not a bad person idk what I did to deserve this. He’s so cold as well. I just want to die. I don’t know how to survive this.