r/AskReddit • u/Previous-Ad3911 • 5d ago

You can have 5000 of anything that starts with Y. What do you choose?

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u/LukaLover42069 5d ago edited 4d ago

Yams. I'd cut them all in half, plant them, pick them in the spring and repeat the process again. I would then sell my yam farm to the highest bidder and use that money to take your mom on a date and make sweet love to her in the back of a Buick Roadmaster while we listen to Michael Singer read the audiobook of Life Untethered.

Edit:Thank you all. I knew deep in my soul that one day, the A I got in creative writing during high school would mean something.

292

u/jwoody2727 5d ago

Oddly specific

26

u/Stahl_Scharnhorst 4d ago

The man has a very specific fetish and a very if I may dare say, Yammish plan.

6

u/sweetbabette 4d ago

He had me at Buick Roadmaster

1

u/SeanArthurCox 4d ago

Your mom is a very specific lady with very specific needs

13

u/kurtswidow 5d ago

dwight schrute’s cousin

3

u/Ecstatic-Wasabi 4d ago

First thing that came to mind, I read it in his voice! 

12

u/farallons 4d ago

Did Okonkwo write this

5

u/-Ozone-- 4d ago

Lmao, I was looking for this.

18

u/Kooky-Yam-4766 5d ago

you win 🏆

6

u/fbarbie 5d ago

Agreed. I’m leaving the post. It can’t get better than this.

7

u/nickfultz 4d ago

This is mostly the premise of Stardew Valley

4

u/yorick__rolled 4d ago

And then you would call her again, right?

3

u/tklishlipa 4d ago

My mom is 84. It will be a brand new blind date every day, with her alzheimers🤣🤣

2

u/Hippopotamus_Critic 4d ago

Farming is an infinite money glitch.

2

u/ThePillThePatch 4d ago

OP should just start calling you dad now.

2

u/piletorn 4d ago

You better treat my mom right, she deserves the best!

2

u/PrisonerOfTheHWY 4d ago

Is the roadmaster a wagon or sedan?

1

u/LukaLover42069 4d ago

It has to be the wagon, OP's mom is obviously obese and needs the extra room.

2

u/VoiceOfSoftware 4d ago

That just sounds like 5000 "Your mom"s, but with extra steps

1

u/Heyplease 4d ago

I also thought of yams. I'm glad I looked before I posted.

1

u/No_Analysis_6204 4d ago

you devil, you 😉

1

u/DengarLives66 4d ago

You don’t need yams for that.

1

u/moonshinefae 4d ago

Take me there

1

u/UneditedReddited 4d ago

You seen the price of yams lately?! And don’t get me started on organic yams

1

u/mustardfustard 4d ago

Came here to say my first thought when I read this question was "YOUR MOM" 😂😂🤦‍♀️

2

u/LukaLover42069 4d ago

She makes a mean breakfast so, I can't say I blame you for thinking that. Needs to do a little work on the hashbrowns through.

1

u/kirbykart 4d ago

Sweet potatoes or real yams?

2

u/LukaLover42069 4d ago

That's between me and God.

1

u/No_Oil8471 4d ago

de da da dadda doo I'm the Yam Man, I'm the Yam Man.

1

u/LongjumpingNorth8500 4d ago

You've thought about this day way too many times.....

1

u/Feelincheekyson 4d ago

Where can I find that second bit on pornhub?

1

u/LukaLover42069 4d ago

"pale, heavily scarred ginger makes sweet caring love to OP's mom in station wagon" see what that brings up.

1

u/Doooog 4d ago

The yams brought it out of Richard Pryor.

1

u/Mysterychic88 4d ago

This is the answer

1

u/AGuyAndHisCat 4d ago

take your mom on a date and make sweet love to her

So you're a disappointment to both our moms.