r/AskReddit • u/Previous-Ad3911 • 5d ago

You can have 5000 of anything that starts with Y. What do you choose?

10.1k Upvotes

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1.7k

u/HauntedFaculty 5d ago

Years to live

2.2k

u/Procrastubatorfet 5d ago

I hope you age at a reduced rate rather than having a good 70 years followed by 4930 of geriatric hell

337

u/Pm_Me_Gifs_For_Sauce 5d ago

Better start working out TF now!

228

u/DriedUpSquid 5d ago

On the way to your first gym session you are hit by an ice cream truck and must be kept on a respirator to live.

79

u/Pm_Me_Gifs_For_Sauce 5d ago

Oh the sweet and creamy irony. Now in Neapolitan, limited time only.

11

u/darktowerseeker 5d ago

This is the funniest shit

8

u/jasonrubik 5d ago

Better than trying to evade and outsmart a snail

7

u/version13 5d ago

An I Scream truck?

3

u/DriedUpSquid 5d ago

You would have screamed but the front tire drove over your windpipe.

4

u/draconiclyyours 5d ago

Are you a djinn??

2

u/CrowOne5787 4d ago

Hence your new Wrestler name Respi-Raptor

4

u/JoJackthewonderskunk 5d ago

Gotta keep them chromosomes from degrading by a bunch of crunches and shake weight shakes!

6

u/Snake_fairyofReddit 5d ago

Stupid telomeres shortening

2

u/Pm_Me_Gifs_For_Sauce 5d ago

In that case, workout and take your neurotropics.

1

u/chomoftheoutback 4d ago

the thought of going to the gym for 5000 years is depressing as hell

94

u/turtledrum_215 5d ago

Some monkey’s paw material right there!

2

u/EredarLordJaraxxus 4d ago

Immortality that doesn't come with eternal youth turns into nightmare fuel really REALLY fast

10

u/CharonsLittleHelper 5d ago

Just change it to "youthful years to live".

4

u/MonaganX 4d ago

Eternally a toddler.

3

u/InfanticideAquifer 4d ago

Just change it to "You know that time I had that long daydream about what to do if some magical entity offered me any wish but only if I used it perfectly selfishly and I spent a few hours wandering in circles coming up with the perfect wording for that wish in my head? That."

1

u/MonaganX 4d ago

Least verbose isekai title.

5

u/smallmoth 4d ago

Granted! You will now be age 7 for 5000 years.

7

u/MeowMeowImACowww 5d ago

5000 years of not aging might be better 😅

3

u/LifeSenseiBrayan 5d ago

Invest all you got on a high yielding savings account and wait till the best 100 years of your life with a brand new robot body

3

u/_BlueFire_ 5d ago

That's why my answer was "years as a happy, healthy person in a young body still to live, from tomorrow". You never know if the wish is being granted by a genie... 

3

u/zeugma888 5d ago

Years of youth?

2

u/WhyNotChoose 5d ago

lol 4930 years of dementia.

1

u/Alarmedones 5d ago

I would assume you would start to age at a rate equal to the 5000 years. So being 40 years old would last waaaayyyy longer than it does now.

1

u/DonutBoi172 5d ago

Either way would suck.

You either end up as a 75 year old man who looks 7 years old, or age properly but end up rotting away for a couple thousand years.

At some point you'd end up being only baggage to society and everyone would opt to bury you in a deep cave for thousands of years

1

u/Jackiedhmc 5d ago

Let me tell you something friend, some of the years up to 70 aren't all that great. For me it started going south around 65, I'm only 68!

1

u/SailorET 4d ago

I'm 44 now and I've got a bum knee, lower back pain, and acid reflux. I will murder everyone in the room and then myself if I have to deal with another century of this, never mind 49 of them.

1

u/Fabulous-Ad6763 4d ago edited 4d ago

If lifespan is 1000 you’ll age in proportion. Menopause at 500. For 50 years straight. Puberty for 50 years. Cancer will grow slow from 700 to 1000.. about 300 years of cancer battle. Jisus. Hope you have good insurance. Medicare won’t want you for that long!

(Multiply everything by 5)

1

u/PaManiacOwca 4d ago

Dayum, you have put things at perspective here dude.

1

u/Rand_alThor4747 4d ago

4930 years of dementia.

1

u/spicewoman 4d ago

"Years of youth"? Might get turned into a perma-baby.

"Years of being 25"? Welcome to groundhog day.

"Years of having my body be as healthy and young as it was when I was 25, but also time is progressing normally?" Really feels like we're stretching the "starts with a y" premise at that point.

0

u/ValorMorghulis 5d ago

5,000 years of youth? Is that stretching it?

-4

u/RoboCIops 5d ago

That’s a very vengeful Palestinian thing to say. Are you Palestinian?