Am I AITAH for asking my daughter not to share any information about me with her father?

[u/Individual-Opinion49]

I have not spoken to my daughter's father in 20 years. I ended the relationship due to physical and emotional abuse (broken ribs, if I disagreed with anything he said he would pin me down and scream at me "Am I right" until I said yes). At one time I had a no contact order. We live in a small town and he is known to tell anyone that he wishes I was dead. He repeats this phrase to his daughter quite often. My daughter has discussed my personal business with him through the years- that I went back to school to become a doctor, that I got my black belt, etc. He rants that I ruined his life and that I will pay for doing so. I have respectfully asked my daughter not to say my name to her father or discuss any aspects of my life with him- yet she refuses to do so. He has not made any overt violent gestures towards me but I have a security system, a Glock and a personal protection German Shepard who pretty much goes everywhere with me. Am I over reacting and am I the ass hole for requesting that my achievements, locations, and other information not be shared with my ex-partner. She says her dad is wounded and is unhappy that he lives in poverty while I have created a good life for myself and he is just venting.

[u/Last-Butterscotch-68]

You gave birth to this human being and you are asking her for nothing, say nothing, do nothing, share nothing. There isn’t a single benefit to denying you such basic consideration and she prioritises her dead beat father’s need to vent, like he’s an overheating aircon unit?

‘Her dad is wounded’ Wounded? No shit, I’d be unhappy too if my punching bag learnt to fight back, now has the medical knowledge to inflict maximum damage on the human body, owned a gun and had command of a ferocious, loyal, four legged beast that could outrun and maim me before I’d laced up. I’m also not a little bitch who hits people to compensate for being a waste of oxygen, so fuck his happiness. NTA.

[u/Individual-Opinion49 → u/Last-Butterscotch-68]

I think a lot of his rage is the result of the fact that I refuse to live in fear of him. The me that lived with him was broken and afraid- she never would have believed that she could leave and be ok. It took so much therapy to come to the realization that I survived and left because I was stronger than I though I could be,

[u/Top-Effect-4321 → u/Individual-Opinion49]

Your daughter is either an idiot or actually wants harm to come your way. Regardless of which, she is NOT on your side and you need to understand that.  

Whatever support you’re giving her must now be conditional on her following your rules. If she lives with you, kick her out and cut her off for a month and make her understand. If you’re helping her with rent, stop. Tell her to move in with dear old dad. 

[u/Fuzzy_Medicine_247 → u/Top-Effect-4321]

Seriously. Maybe change the will to benefit a local animal shelter and let her know. See what happens.