Am I AITAH for asking my daughter not to share any information about me with her father?

[u/Individual-Opinion49]

I have not spoken to my daughter's father in 20 years. I ended the relationship due to physical and emotional abuse (broken ribs, if I disagreed with anything he said he would pin me down and scream at me "Am I right" until I said yes). At one time I had a no contact order. We live in a small town and he is known to tell anyone that he wishes I was dead. He repeats this phrase to his daughter quite often. My daughter has discussed my personal business with him through the years- that I went back to school to become a doctor, that I got my black belt, etc. He rants that I ruined his life and that I will pay for doing so. I have respectfully asked my daughter not to say my name to her father or discuss any aspects of my life with him- yet she refuses to do so. He has not made any overt violent gestures towards me but I have a security system, a Glock and a personal protection German Shepard who pretty much goes everywhere with me. Am I over reacting and am I the ass hole for requesting that my achievements, locations, and other information not be shared with my ex-partner. She says her dad is wounded and is unhappy that he lives in poverty while I have created a good life for myself and he is just venting.

[u/grayblue_grrl]

Your daughter is dangerous for you.
She doesn't understand the danger you were in or could be in.
OR she believes his lies.
OR she's cut from the same cloth as he is.

Her father wouldn't have anything to vent about if she didn't tell him all your business.

No contact is even dangerous because she might go crying to him about "big bad mommy" not being nice.

So, you go low contact and gray rock her.

You are a bit too busy to see her.
You are starting a new hobby.... self defence class... learning a new work system...
Boring stuff. Nothing that sounds important.
IT SOUNDS like information but it isn't really.

Keep it superficial and easy.

Consider your options for after your mom passes and don't share that information with your daughter.

Good luck.