My stepmom took all of my horror stuff out of my room for her kid to be less scared

[u/Hour_Peace9278]

So I (15f) has this whole horror obsession, I’m crazy for it I don’t think it would be much of a surprise if I said Halloween is my favourite holiday..

My father (41m) has married my stepmother (38f) let’s call her Abby… now Abby has two sons and a daughter I’m not going to use their real names but give them fake ones.. Zack (16) Evan (18) and Katie (8)

I would like to start off by saying I don’t want to sound like a brat but for the longest time it’s only been me and my dad

So a few moths later Abby and her kids moved in and the boys had to share a room and for some time Katie had her own but my stepmom needed an office room so while I was visiting my grandma and grandpa Katie moved in my room that’s not the issue I don’t mind sharing but the issue I have is I ADORE anything horror so I have a lot of posters,merchandise I even have a Chucky doll, so when I come back from my grandparents my dad and Abby sat me down and said my room needed to change and be more kid friendly obviously I was pissed and stared complaining how it wasn’t fair

And Abby said her child should matter just as me, that’s when my blood was boiling.. so I yelled it was my room first if she didn’t like it she could sleep in the hallway or in the dog bed

My dad got mad and sent me to my room, I get up in the morning and get ready to go to school and when I came back boxes of my posters and funko pops were in boxes with a bunch of other things, only to see Abby talking them down… I get mad and yell at her that’s until my dad comes over and tries to calm me down and tells Abby she should stop but only for her to say ‘my child is scared of all this shit!’

I screamed for ages going back and forth with her until she threw a box and a glass object shattered.. so if she wants to brake my things I’ll brake her kids, I know this is going to abound petty but I grab her kids Barbie and ripped its head off and pulled the legs off and turned to her and say “brake anymore of my things and I smash your laptop up” My dad trying to deescalate the situation said to me go take five outside and from outside I hear my dad abs stepmom yelling at each other

Should I feel bad?

[u/buttertits4lyfe]

I just want to let you know that I'm a 34 year old lady who has an entire room in my house dedicated to all things spooky and horror. When you can bounce out of that house girly you will have the best time decorating!! It's Halloween 24/7 at my house and I love it :)

Your stepmother is an unreasonable asshole. I truly hope your dad doesn't enable her assholery. You are NTA, at all. Sometimes you gotta go a lil cray cray for people to get their heads our of their arses. I do feel bad for your step sis tho, what a crap situation for the both of you to be in.

[u/Hour_Peace9278 → u/buttertits4lyfe]

Omg I bet your houses it a proper vibe :)

I want to talk to my dad about it but at the moment I’m really upset and don’t know what to say in the moment and as for my stepsister I apologised and got her a new doll

[u/buttertits4lyfe → u/Hour_Peace9278]

You'll have that one day too!

I'd wait a bit to chat with your dad when you're not so upset. Maybe write down some points you'd like to bring up, think on it then chat with him when you're in a calm level headed space. He might take you more seriously that way. I hope he sees the light! That's good you did that for your stepsis, you're both just caught in the crossfire of her moms weird behavior.

[u/RecognitionParty9581 → u/buttertits4lyfe]

Agree with above. OP should ask to talk to Dad away from house where SM can’t jump into the conversation anytime she wanted to. Grandparents would be a good place to have the discussion and be a good back up for you.

[u/Common_Tiger1526 → u/Hour_Peace9278]

Show him this thread.

[u/tinyfron → u/Hour_Peace9278]

Just show him this post

[u/MommaDiz → u/Hour_Peace9278]

Fellow spooky vibe who has a mini spooky 9 year old. You are not alone in your interest and your step monster is out of line. Write your thoughts out. Literally make a list of the feelings and emotions and give it to your dad only. At this point. If your dad has turned into a doormat for his new wife and her 3 kids, get another adult who your dad can't be a doormat too. Bringing in another adult who isn't emotionally tied to this mess, might help your dad wake up and realized she's doing 101 child alienation and trying to kick you out. May not seem like it but I've had 3 step moms, all with 3 kids and the second I lost my room without zero discussion cause they suddenly had to move in. I went to My grandmother, his mom. She's tore him a new one and she never lets him forget how he put another woman and her kids before his first 3 kids.

[u/bitchmaster69dot → u/MommaDiz]

This is the best advice ever - always go up the chain of command. Clearly he needs to be set straight by an elder.

[u/Terrible_Kiwi_776 → u/Hour_Peace9278]

57 year old horror fan. I do conventions, costumes and everything. And one thing that struck me was taking down the Funkos. Those are specifically designed to be the most chibi toys ever. They're the cutest. I really wonder if Katie really has an issue with them, or if Abby does. 

Try talking to Katie. There may only be one or two things/characters that she doesn't like. Or maybe she doesn't actually care.

[u/chicharrones_yum → u/Hour_Peace9278]

Ask your dad why he doesn’t care about you? Ask him why he would let her do what she did? Show him this post and let him read the comments. He has completely failed you as a father.

[u/mariajazz → u/Hour_Peace9278]

Don't apologise to anyone....you did nothing wrong..... It is your house before them....

Your father did wrong by not standing for you.... Talk to him to choose between you or them.... because it will also cause problem in future...

Tell him you want your own room.

[u/Chaoticgood790 → u/mariajazz]

Well I can see why OP apologized to the sibling. they aren't responsible

[u/StructureKey2739 → u/mariajazz]

These dad's want to keep the new bed partner happy. Bio-kids get shoved aside in favor of the stepfamily.

[u/DanielGoodchild → u/mariajazz]

Talk to him to choose between you or them

This is absolutely asinine advice. OP, don't issue ultimatums; that's one of the fastest tracks to being the bad guy in a family dispute.

[u/KatieROTS → u/Hour_Peace9278]

I agree with this comment OP. I’m the horror girl and my house is always Halloween. Hang in there and your stepmom is a bitch and I hope your dad changes his mind and backs you up.

[u/ilovechairs → u/Hour_Peace9278]

I’d be like okay, we can be best buddies and I’ll be super thoughtful.

And exclusively tell her scary stories and putting on horror podcasts when you’re back home to fall asleep to.

Oh this is what big girls/adults listen to. I don’t have to if you don’t want to hear it.

But I’m petty. And I had watched every episode of Cold Cases I possibly could on cable when I was her age.

[u/SeraphymCrashing → u/Hour_Peace9278]

Nice job with your step sister.

Your story really resonates with me. I'm a 44 year old man, but when I was a kid, my parents were divorced. I split my time between them, but I didn't have my own space at my dad's place. I got the basement guest bedroom, which was built up as this floral pink bedroom.

I actually don't mind pink, so whatever, but I wasn't allowed to have any of my stuff permanently anywhere. I remember bringing my clothes over from my mom's place and keeping them folded up on top of a stack of vinyl records in a bookshelf.

When I was 20 something clicked in my head, and I realized how little my dad seemed to care about me. I had already moved out and was living on my own, but I still came over for Christmas and some other holidays. Well, that Christmas, I just didn't call him. And he didn't call me. And I never spoke to him again. He died last year, and I was not mentioned in the Obit.

So yeah, it wasn't an abusive household, but it also wasn't how a father is supposed to treat a child.

Having your own space is incredibly important. Maybe that can't be an entire room, but it could be part of a room. In your case, it seems absurd to force two kids with that kind of age difference to share a room, just so your Dad's wife (I refuse to call her a stepmom, there are really good step parents, this lady is just your Dad's wife) can have an office 1-2 days a week.

I guess my point is that your Dad probably thinks that this is something that will blow over and you will calm down. But I don't think it is. This is something that permanently damages a relationship. His wife is making you feel like you are losing your home. If you get a quiet moment in the next couple of days with just him, I would try to tell him this.

Good luck.

[u/StructureKey2739 → u/buttertits4lyfe]

(Sometimes you gotta go a lil cray cray for people to get their heads our of their arses)

Happened with me. My sister used to use my things and break them. My mom would bleat "you don't know she did that". When my sis would break my stuff she'd run to her room, lock herself in, and mock me, while my mom would defend her. Finally she broke something on my TV and pulled her escape plan. I went to the living room in full view of my mom and broke some figurines of my dad (another enabler). When my dad confronted me and asked "did you break this?", I looked him full in the face and said "no I did not". What worked for my sister worked for me, my stuff was never broken again.

Not a recommended solution for everyone, but when you're desperate you do what you can.