r/AITAH • u/ChocolateForward2858 • 5d ago
AITAH for suspecting my wife of doing something awful at her friend's bachelorette week in Mexico? She spent virtually 0 money and took no pictures.
I am in the middle of probably the biggest crisis of my adult life and I can barely think so I apologize in advance if this comes across as really weird or rambley.
My wife went to Mexico last week for a friends bachelorette party and aside for the plane ticket, the hotel and the first days food and drinks--she didn't spend a penny all week. I mean on the credit card it's as clear as day that on Monday up until about 9pm she was buying dinner, stuff at the hotel shop, drinks at the bar, souvenirs and then at 9pm she didn't spend another cent the entire week until she was at her layover airport in Dallas. She says it's because her friend took over and paid for everything. I guess this is plausible but it still is giving me a funny feeling.
What is worse is that my wife is a person who posts her entire life on instagram on tiktok (mostly instangram) but if she does anything from get a latte to picking the kids up at school, she will post it either as a picture or as a story. The last thing she posted on tiktok was that trend of people "jumping" into their vacation from the airport and after that her social media is blank. I was kind of keeping an eye on it because I was excited for her to go on the trip and again I guess it's plausible but it gives me a funny feeling. When she got home I said I can't wait to see all the pics she took and she really blew me off and said that she just didn't feel like taking pics that week.
She has also been incredibly distant and last night she said she just felt like sleeping on the couch because the AC hits better (this is 100% true) but I swear I heard her talking on the phone in the middle of the night. When I got up to check on her I accidentally tripped over the dog and made a huge racket so when I got downstairs she appeared to be asleep.
i brought all of this up this morning and said I'm not accusing her of anything but all this put together is making me feel uneasy. I wasn't trying to bait her or fight with her, just get my feelings on the table. She said you are a major fucking asshole for bringing this up on her first day back at work. I said I wasn't trying to pry, just communicating with her and she said "your commuincation is prying and I am not discussing this with you ever again." She then took the kids to summer camp and left.
AITAH?
Edit: so I realized that her texts probably sync to her ipad so i just checked. It took me a while to figure out the passcode but I did but there was an imessage at 9:15 the night she got to the resort from a number with no contact info that said "ok, i'll meet you in the lobby. Is the app you said signal?" I looked up signal and it's kind of like whatsapp. The ipad doesn't have signal on it.
Edit 2: If you have been following my comments, you've seen that my sister is coming over and she's an insane internet sleuth and is relentless when it comes to this cheating stuff. She also scares me a bit so I'm hoping this isn't a mistake. I'm going to probably stop responding for a while so we can talk and she can do her thing. I am numb but she can do this. Thanks for everyone and the nice comments and the reality check, its not looking good.
Edit3: she cheated my sister was able to get lots of info from the real estate guy and my wife denied it at first but then admitted it. Sorrru it took so long to update but I’m numb. Have literally 0 idea what to do now.
Edit 4: for people looking up our personal stuff…we don’t live in Lubbock nor does my wife work for the Lubbock school system. We grew up in the area and went to college there but have long since moved to another community. Please don’t try to research this as you may hurt someone who is totally not involved. I’m getting lots of advice to delete this and I don’t want to but I may have to.
Edit 5: I know people really want updates and we've been talking, arguing, screaming, threatening all day long. I'm more confused than I was this morning that's for sure. But I'm also confused, exhausted, sad, upset, nervous, and I don't know what to do. I did make a preliminary appointment with a family law attorney tomorrow to talk about protecting assets and how to navigate the legal way ahead regardless of what I chose to do. I will say that there's s subreddit that this was cross posted to and it may be the most toxic group of people I've ever seen online and I feel really bad for those people. As for the privacy issues, no one has figured out who we are. That's not a challenge by the way. I'm very tired and i doubt people are still invested but if there's still interest I can update either on this post or a new in a few days. I'm really hoping to sleep tonight. My sister still has the kids and they are having a blast and went to the lake with her boyfriend's family today so I'm glad they are in good hands.
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u/NickTidalOutlook 5d ago
Did she get arrested?