r/facepalm • u/wach_era13 • 9d ago

This is just💀 🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​

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191

u/daKile57 9d ago

The Bible is the queerest story in human history, so...

123

u/Lerisa-beam 9d ago

God comes down hangs exclusively with 12 other dudes, goes against the ruling class. Only female character of note is a virgin mother... yeah you right.

42

u/Sprzout 9d ago

What about Mary Magdalene?

Oh, wait - they don't think she counts since she's seen as a prostitute.

16

u/daddakamabb1 9d ago

She might be a reformed prostitute, but they will forever see her as just a whore.

3

u/PaleontologistWarm13 9d ago

If they knew anything about her they wouldn’t say she was just a whore. She was an important figure in the story. She shined a light on a lot of injustices and equality and she proved even the worst among us (in their eyes) could be redeemed and held in high esteem.

1

u/Crowbar_The_Rogue 7d ago

Depends on who you ask, I suppose. Where I grew up, she was simply another follower of Christ, and that was considered quite a respectable thing to be. Plus the entire point of her story is that Jesus didn't judge her for being a prostitute, so why any Christian would judge her is beyond me.

1

u/daddakamabb1 7d ago

Why Christians judge anyone is beyond me.

6

u/LaughingInTheVoid 9d ago

Well, as far as I've heard, that was a deliberate mistranslation, and most biblical scholars think she was an unmarried independently wealthy woman.

So even better: proto-feminist.

5

u/Sprzout 9d ago

I've heard much the same - but "Christians" don't want to see it that way because only men should be in charge and powerful.

Yeah, I think it's idiocy - and that may be why they claim she was a prostitute.

24

u/FIRE_FIST_1457 9d ago

and jesus hangsout with 12 man, drinks wine and wear sandels? im sorry but something here is a little...

5

u/Defiant_Review1582 9d ago

Has a nice body and long hair too. Have you seen the crucifix? Those abs, too body conscious to be a 30yr old straight guy

8

u/East-Cookie-2523 9d ago

Reminds me of that one pic of a Korean statue of Jesus that portrayed him as so jacked, it could make you believe the Last Supper was just protein powder.

3

u/Dubstep_Duck 9d ago

This is a good point. Once I turned 30, the only exercises I did were for knee health, while this gut is just hanging out. 100% straight, which, anecdotally, means Jesus was clearly gay.

1

u/chet_brosley 9d ago

Californian?!

1

u/This_Robot 9d ago

Hanging out with people is gay? Didn't know.

7

u/wkendwench 9d ago

What about the hooker?

0

u/Lots42 Trump is awful. 9d ago

Wait, what?

5

u/The_Pixel_Knight 9d ago

He came again

1

u/daKile57 9d ago

You normally have to pay extra for that.

7

u/Harry-the-Hutt 9d ago

Never mind all the bs going on in the old testament.

1

u/daKile57 9d ago

There’s just way too men running around in those texts talking about their love for another man.

1

u/Light_inthe_shadow 9d ago

Jesus hung out with 12 teenage boys. The 12 apostles were much younger than commonly thought

1

u/ankylosaurus_tail 9d ago

Only female character of note is a virgin mother

I'm not a religious person, but there are a lot of interesting women in the Bible, who play important roles in stories: Eve, Sarah and Hagar, Ruth, Esther, Bathsheba, Delilah, the Witch of Endor, Jezebel, Herodias and Salome, Mary Magdeline, etc.