r/aww • u/abhitchc • 5d ago

I fed this female box tortoise some raspberries at the beginning of the summer. Now, she follows me all over the garden, and visits me almost daily looking for handouts.

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76

u/Nuicakes 5d ago

I'm imagining a creep* of tortoises waiting in the yard chanting "All Hail abhitchc!"

  • a group of tortoises is called a creep.

323

u/abhitchc 5d ago

https://preview.redd.it/y2mn32wl0s8d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e7012494d80f15cae0151b5f719b54e1df90da31

I have caught her doing the dirty, so she will at least have children to tell tales of the fruit God.

57

u/markovianprocess 5d ago

I've become mildly obsessed with videos of turtles mating because of the ridiculous and hilarious sounds they make (did you know turtles can vocalize?).

100% I'm on some kind of a list.

143

u/abhitchc 5d ago

These ones were quiet lovers, but I had a pair earlier in the season in my driveway, where the male was making some very very strange grunt/hiss noises. It was almost uncomfortable to watch. Like I was intruding.

It was extra funny, as he had fallen backwards while he was still attached. Don’t worry though, when they were done, I found him stuck upside down and put him back the right way so he could go about his day.

https://preview.redd.it/qbpq89j14s8d1.jpeg?width=1154&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e63cb0025979a50607c125302b30d6d2c2d8d41e

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u/Large-Spite6098 5d ago

Talk about a compromising position lol

7

u/markovianprocess 5d ago

"Hey lady, a little privacy?"

3

u/Aggressive_Slice_680 5d ago

😂 This is great. Idea have said "This will be our little secret buddy!!" And sent him off with a berry. 😊 🤔 Guess that's might train them to get dirty on the drive though so maybe skip the berry's and part with just a shell tap

2

u/Friendly_Focus5913 5d ago

This is an absolute mood 😂

4

u/SyrusDrake 5d ago

While on a holiday at a Greek resort many, many years ago, my mom and I would go to the archery range every day. The shrubs at the entrance were the love hotel for the local tortoise population, and it was so noisy, not because of the vocalisation, but because of their shells banging together!

4

u/markovianprocess 4d ago

Years ago my wife's family and I visited one of those companies that does animal shows at birthday parties, etc. Curious Critters or something like that.

At one point the girl guiding the tour turns to us before entering the Reptile Room and is all like "OK, so it's mating season for the turtles and, I should warn you, they don't have any shame."

We enter to a cacophony of clacking and grunting of all pitches as turtles of all sizes in various tanks furiously continue to make babies, completely ignoring our presence.

She points out, over the din, some snake and how it's venomous, etc. and says to my brother in-law "when you leave here today you'll be able to tell people you saw such and such venomous snake!" and he's like "lady, when we leave here we aren't going to be talking about the snake" 🤣

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u/Nuicakes 5d ago

NSFW

I love it! I guess you really are their god of fertility and food.

54

u/abhitchc 5d ago

Haha

19

u/Mistdwellerr 5d ago

If I remember correctly, Demeter is the goddess of fertility and harvest... Would you have any Greek ancestry OP? xD

16

u/abhitchc 5d ago

I’ve been told I look Greek, but the DNA test says otherwise.

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u/swampscientist 5d ago

Oh nice! I was going to say these shelled friends are easy to determine sex, pick them up and look at the plastron (belly shell) females are flat while males are concave, to assist in mating.

3

u/ImMomoda 5d ago

i got traumatized when i was 14, i found out that my female tortoise was actually a male

2

u/livsjollyranchers 5d ago

Let's face it. Dude turtle was there for the fruit. He just got the sex as a bonus.

2

u/sportstvandnova 5d ago

Omg lmao dude looks pissed you’re peeping 😂😂

2

u/KrisBread 5d ago

Weren’t the Jurassic Park raptor sounds, from turtles getting it on?

2

u/Faiakishi 5d ago

They're deadbeat parents, they just drop the eggs and trust that some will make it to adulthood. She'll probably leave the kids on your doorstep.

15

u/violentpac 5d ago

Oh cool, just the other day a girl called me a group of tortoises!

6

u/ASchoolOfSperm 5d ago

Radiohead - Collective Noun for Tortoises

3

u/parking_lot_life 5d ago

🤣😅💀