r/BreakUps • u/AlertSun • 2d ago

Depressed bf broke up with me

There you have it. My partner broke up last friday because he felt that his depression was affecting me and he kept saying he didn't want to break up but he doesn't want to waste my time. This happened two days ago and I'm an absolute mess.

I'm having a hard time. My behavior is so erratic and makes no sense to me yet I can't stop myself. Yesterday I drove to my parent's house to stay the night. I saw my plants at the house were dying. I asked my mom to take care of it but the plants were dying. Originally i'd moved it from my apartment to the house because during school breaks I stay at my parent's house. I started erratically crying and felt this compulsion that I had to drive all the way back to my apartment in the middle of the night and put the plants back where they were. I did get these with my ex but i don't think thats related. I've been crying all day all night. I feel no desire to do things anymore. I feel like I have to force myself to just keep going.

Today even after hours of crying i stopped and found myself laughing at some instagram reel and then that triggered me to cry for hours. I remember when I used to just send him reels all the time. I just feel so alone and so hurt. I'd planned to send two final texts on tuesday just to really confirm things are over. I thought that would make me feel better to plan that. But still I'm struggling. I'm trying to be okay but I'm not and I just don't feel okay at all. I feel like a part of me is dying. Please tell me this is temporary. This is honestly so much worse than anything I've been through before.

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u/Loud-Following-3381 2d ago

My bf broke up with me too because of this. And I told him I wanted to help him get through this. But he kept saying that it was something he needs to do for himself. And I miss him and I just wish he would let me be there for him.

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u/AlertSun 2d ago

I wish that too. I guess thats kind of the msg I planned to send on tuesday. But also fully preparing for a no. I just want to stop hurting. And personal closure that I tried everything. It might hurt more idk I guess I'll see.

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u/SympathyRelevant1292 1d ago

My boyfriend has been depressed since his dog’s passing… he says he doesn’t feel like he’s treating me right and as I deserve because he doesn’t feel like he was able to heal proper with me being there… this hurts so much because nothing was wrong with our relationship.. he was the best bf I could’ve asked for, I never asked him for more than what he was able to give me cuz I knew he was grieving… here we are breaking things off a week before my birthday….

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u/seventiesporno 1d ago

Mine also broke it off for this reason. I'm really struggling with it.

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u/bitsnanya 1d ago

This is very hard. I’m sorry. I think in first couple days, you can give yourself a lot of grace. Be with your family and the people you stay safe with. You are feeling a lot and it’s okay for you to feel hurt struggle right now. You are grieving and trying to make sense out of this very hard thing. It will start to feel better. It will happen gradually. And then one day, you won’t cry for the whole day. That doesn’t mean the grief will go away, it starts to become something else. I am so sorry and I wish you so much peace and so much love

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u/wiinielle 1d ago

my boyfriend has the same issue but he would never have broken up with me , i had to break up with him…. but once it was all out on the table, it was super mutual. he knew he could never make me happy. he said he doesnt want to try to be happy either and doesnt know when he will want to try… hes depressed, alcoholic, sits on the couch all day and night after work…. didnt want to do anything anymore, not with me anyway….. i wasnt enough for him anymore to make him happy and he wasnt enough for me….