Best owning a boat joke I heard in recent times was when Ryan Gosling was asked if he had a boat. He replied, "If I did, I would name it the 'S. S. Nausea.'"
I am contacting you on your behalf to expedite the transferrance of this most esteemed yachting conveyance. By random chance a Nigerian prince who shares your last name is in receipt of the bill of sale of this Megga Megga Yacht of five hundred and fifty metres length. I am willing to act as your benefactor but will require all your banking information to make the transfer.
Ooohhhh. I guess I missed the opportunity to stay true to my username… eh?
No wait…. No I didn’t!
Eh, hoser! So, me and my brother, Doug, we're, like, contacting you about this wicked-awesome yacht, eh? It's, like, five hundred and fifty metres long! That's, like, almost as long as the Trans-Canada Highway, take off!
So, get this, eh? A Nigerian prince who, like, totally has your last name, just randomly got the bill of sale for this Megga Megga Yacht. Crazy, eh? We were like, "Beauty, eh!" when we heard.
Anyhoo, we're willing to be your benefactors, but we kinda need all your banking info, eh? Yeah, just toss in your account number, PIN, and, like, your mom's secret cookie recipe for good measure. Then we can totally make this transfer happen, and you'll be sailing the high seas faster than you can say, "Take off, you hoser!"
So, whaddya say, eh? Let's make this beauty of a deal happen, ya know? Beauty, eh?
Can it, nerd. I cranked out so many PowerPoints with screen wipes back in the early 2000s that if I loaded them onto 3.5 floppies, the sheer weight would crush your will to live
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u/Pm_Me_Gifs_For_Sauce 5d ago
Come down to Crazy Irirss' Yacht Lot, come get a Yacht cuz I got a lot! I'm practically giving them away!