r/AskReddit 5d ago

You can have 5000 of anything that starts with Y. What do you choose?

10.1k Upvotes

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3.2k

u/Sexy_gastric_husband 5d ago

5000 Yankovics.

Multiplying Weird Al would tip the scales of karma and create a paradise on earth.

812

u/dj92wa 5d ago

and create a paradise on earth

…of the Amish variety?

200

u/Drake_Cloans 5d ago

While they’re White and Nerdy

75

u/Hydra_Master 5d ago

They all Sound Like Nirvana

15

u/Schlag96 5d ago

*smells

13

u/jeffsterlive 5d ago

But be careful or they’ll polka your eyes out.

5

u/MobileLadd 5d ago

I can’t believe how much I miss Weird Al. There is no substitute. ❤️

6

u/Sreeto 4d ago

He's still alive and active though?

4

u/OkDragonfruit9026 4d ago

Nope, Madonna killed him a few decades back

4

u/SpottyNoonerism 5d ago

Because they're tacky?

5

u/swanhunter 4d ago

Tonight we’re going to party like it’s 1699.

5

u/OlyScott 5d ago

You'd probably think it bites.

2

u/Ornery_Supermarket84 4d ago

A pair of guys in yurts

157

u/natelopez53 5d ago

No! This would disrupt the Yankovic balance in this universe. We have a weird Al. What would the other 4999 Als be? The last thing the world needs is Homicidal Al

51

u/Yogisogoth 5d ago

Homicid Al

10

u/LightRobb 5d ago

...death by accordian?

11

u/Sexy_gastric_husband 5d ago

We don't know what the universe will do when it reached Quantum Al levels. A good chance alien life may finally come visit because we didn't have enough of him.

6

u/Theyalreadysaidno 5d ago

You know in some part of the multiverse there is a Homicidal Al.

6

u/ASharpYoungMan 4d ago

Serious Al is just no fun.

But Eldritch Al is ftaugn.

3

u/chux4w 4d ago

His weirdness would be artificially diluted. At best he'd be Quirky Al.

2

u/greed 4d ago

I think they'll end up adopting different personalities like the Seven Dwarfs. We'll have Sleepy Al, Grump Al, Dopey Al, etc. Hopefully we can avoid Homicidal Al.

2

u/buddyfrosty 4d ago

What about PresidentiAl?

2

u/Thomasina_ZEBR 4d ago

If there were 5000, they wouldn't be weird any more. So there would be 5000 Normal Al Yankovichs.

2

u/tunesmythe 4d ago

If there's 5000 of him, you probably couldn't call him "Weird" anymore.

1

u/Wybaar 5d ago

Would that cause a Weird Al equivalent of a Shatnerquake?

11

u/workahol_ 5d ago

If there were 5000 of him, he would just be Slightly Eccentric Al.

22

u/I-am-a-me 5d ago

Sorry all you get is 5000 Frankie Yankovics. Hope you love to polka!

22

u/CoderDevo 5d ago

You'll be getting a fair amount of polka either way.

15

u/Sexy_gastric_husband 5d ago

You know I do.

11

u/disterb 5d ago

the saga begins

5

u/CucumberError 5d ago

But, you’d be devaluing the original. Once everyone can have a Weird Al, they’d very much lose their appeal.

5

u/Sexy_gastric_husband 5d ago

You say that now, but world peace would soon follow.

2

u/Yogisogoth 5d ago

I think this is how Peculiar Jacque came to be.

5

u/ArtificialHalo 5d ago

He's the Weird Al-Gaib!!!

4

u/otticusoppositionist 5d ago

I hope he sees this.

Weird Al, you are loved.

2

u/Lothium 5d ago

I just said to someone the other night that we need a battalion of new Steve Irwin, BobRoss, Mr Rogers, etc.

2

u/poodlefreak666 5d ago

this is the only comment that is true. paradise on earth.

2

u/BeatWithTheTismStick 5d ago

Now I'm mumblin' and I'm screamin'
And I don't know what I'm singin'

2

u/GetYourVanOffMyMeat 5d ago

4,999 Weird Al's

1 Frankie 

2

u/po_ta_to 5d ago

What if they all turn out to be Frankies?

2

u/[deleted] 4d ago

You get 5,000 but you don't know what percentage of them are going to be weird

2

u/gizamo 4d ago

That would be the most massive Spotify station within a week.

Within a day, we'd probably have universal healthcare and free universities.

Give that army a month, and we'll probably have a recording of Never Gonna Give Ews Up played from the Highlands of Scotland, which would, of course, convince the alien lizard people overlords to turn the world temperatures down a bit.

1

u/Bitter-Drawing-7254 5d ago

Just eat it, eat it.

1

u/Cutsdeep- 5d ago

imagine the chorus

1

u/BobBelcher2021 5d ago

5000 people losing on Jeopardy.

Which means there has to be 2500 winners!

1

u/mela_99 5d ago

My god what a time to alive that would be

1

u/Gogglesed 5d ago

No. This would dilute the message of parody, leading to an anti-parody sentiment, which would be dangerous.

1

u/IDigRollinRockBeer 5d ago

Also gives us more Frank Yankovics

1

u/Girls4super 5d ago

Unless this is a geni wish that causes 4999 of his ancestors to zombify

1

u/StuckInWarshington 5d ago

Just set “I think I’m a clone now” on repeat.

1

u/SailorET 4d ago

At the very least, we'd have some more talented architects.

1

u/Explosion1850 4d ago

Or you would get Weird Al's dad and his polka band.

1

u/Gain-Desperate 4d ago

But if there were 5000 exact copies of Weird Al, wouldn’t that make him kinda idk Ordinary Al? Or do you think having more of himself would make them all Even Weirder Als to maintain the weirdness balance?

1

u/Sexy_gastric_husband 4d ago

Each one would be weirder than the last. We'll reach levels of weirdness humanity could only dream of.

1

u/LivingWithWhales 4d ago

I smell a butlerian jihad.

1

u/juliagreenillo 4d ago

You didn't specify which Yankovic though! There's Frankie Yankovic who's a famous polka musician

1

u/OnlyTalksAboutTacos 4d ago

Did no one tell you? He's called weird al because all the other yankovics are accountants. He's weird.

1

u/AlchemySeer 4d ago

You win

1

u/FlametopFred 4d ago

we don’t know that

for all we know the laws of physics could buckle

1

u/SirGarlond 4d ago

There's more Yankovics than just Al. Met his cousin online once, he was a damn asshole.

1

u/Revolutionary-Many-9 4d ago

You funny mf!

1

u/DanielMcLaury 4d ago

Granted.

You receive 5,000 Frankie Yankovics.

They still play the accordion but they make polkas instead of hilarious song parodies.

1

u/Jonatc87 4d ago

Utopia

1

u/Kanru5289 4d ago

This is the most golden comment I have seen in my life.

1

u/pardon_the_mess 4d ago

So, 5 kiloyankovics?

1

u/Darksoul2693 4d ago

How many songs do you think he parody