aitah for considerinf leaving my son in the county jail hospital over the weekend instead of paying $9,500.00 in bail?

[u/ShowerElectrical9342]

My son hit a pregnant woman with his vehicle and broke his nose and has stitches on his lip.

He was arrested and is in the county jail hospital. He wouldn't tell me how badly injured the woman is, except that she might lose the baby.

He's a careless, distracted driver who has totalled 2 cars, which his bio dad immediately replaced with even better cars!

But now his bio dad is gone (heart attack) and I don't want to enable this dangerous driving problem.

I'm overwhelmed.

He has had accidents before, and has always been bailed out.

I'm trying to get a regular lawyer because now he says she might lose the baby and sue him.

He's 19.

But no one wants me to take the time to get a regular lawyer instead of this public defender who insists I must send the bail money NOW or my son will be in jail all weekend.

Honestly, I don't know. Maybe that would be good for him. Like a wakeup call.

He didn't mention alcohol, but why else would he he arrested for a car accident?

Help! I have to move fast!

AITAH for even thinking about letting him spend a weekend in jail?

[u/Magerimoje]

Why is it her fault that HE has no money for bail?

He can bail himself out. It's not a parent's responsibility to keep bail money handy for their kids.

If he stays in jail until his arraignment on Monday, that's his fault, not his mother's fault.

Especially because if he was a decent human being and charged with a minor crime, he would have already been released on his own recognizance.

[u/ThoughtNecessary2385 → u/Magerimoje]

I'm not saying it's he fault but if he asks for help she doesn't want to give it and he cuts her out of his live She needs to live with the consequences of that

[u/hellsing_mongrel → u/ThoughtNecessary2385]

almost 10k is not the kind of money a single parent is going to normally just have laying around. He's an adult now, but he's only 19, so it's safe to assume that she's still been raising him very recently, if not still raising him, and it's likely that she's not going to have that kind of money to just throw away on her son's potential bad behavior.

If he's unwilling to forgive his mother for not being able to fork over 10 Grand to save him from two days in jail after he repeatedly had severe vehicular accidents that have now resulted in a woman potentially losing her unborn child, then she'll be better off without him in her life for as long as it takes for him to realize that he was being a dipshit and needs to take responsibility for his own actions.

Honestly, I'm not the best driver myself at times, which is why I avoid unless I absolutely can't avoid it, but if I was in his place, I wouldn't even dare ask for the money, and I'd be shocked if two days in county lockup was the worst I had happen to me! I wouldn't want to also burden my family with having to pay that kind of money for bail, and I've had to go begging for help paying the bills from family members before. This is just on a whole 'nother level.

[u/ThoughtNecessary2385 → u/hellsing_mongrel]

I'm not saying she has to bail him out if she can't afford it than he needs to look elsewhere for help

And if he can't forgive he for that than he is a AH

[u/hellsing_mongrel → u/ThoughtNecessary2385]

lbh, he's an ah even if he DOES forgive her for it. The things he's done to put him in this place are evidence of that.