r/AITAH • u/ShowerElectrical9342 • 6d ago

aitah for considerinf leaving my son in the county jail hospital over the weekend instead of paying $9,500.00 in bail? Advice Needed

My son hit a pregnant woman with his vehicle and broke his nose and has stitches on his lip.

He was arrested and is in the county jail hospital. He wouldn't tell me how badly injured the woman is, except that she might lose the baby.

He's a careless, distracted driver who has totalled 2 cars, which his bio dad immediately replaced with even better cars!

But now his bio dad is gone (heart attack) and I don't want to enable this dangerous driving problem.

I'm overwhelmed.

He has had accidents before, and has always been bailed out.

I'm trying to get a regular lawyer because now he says she might lose the baby and sue him.

He's 19.

But no one wants me to take the time to get a regular lawyer instead of this public defender who insists I must send the bail money NOW or my son will be in jail all weekend.

Honestly, I don't know. Maybe that would be good for him. Like a wakeup call.

He didn't mention alcohol, but why else would he he arrested for a car accident?

Help! I have to move fast!

AITAH for even thinking about letting him spend a weekend in jail?

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u/ThoughtNecessary2385 6d ago

No but she can ask what he is in jail for because in the story she doesn't know what he is in jail for? And than she can make a decision

Don't you think?

If he hit the pregnant lady he needs to be in jail

If he did not hit her she needs to make Decision if what he is In jail for (other dan hitting the pregnant lady) Is bad enough for risking her relationship with her son.

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u/XxMarlucaxX 6d ago

What makes you think she doesn't know what he is in jail for? The only time she said "I don't know" is in reference to making her decision. She makes it clear as DAY that he is in jail bc he hit a pregnant woman with his car. Idk where OP is but in Texas if you hit a pedestrian with your car you do face jail time depending on the severity of the injuries. Being close to losing your baby is definitely a severe level of injuries and would warrant jail time here.

ETA ok she does say why else would be be arrested if not for alcohol but my comment provides an explanation for why. Ig she could bother asking but somehow I don't think she needs to. It seems obvious to me.

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u/ThoughtNecessary2385 6d ago

Does she know how the accident happened because if the lady was not watching we she was going and he did not see her is he sill at fault?

I'm just asking if he hit her and he is at fault he needs to go to jail

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u/XxMarlucaxX 6d ago

It would depend, but I think he would mention anything that would clear him of fault, and not paying attention would not do it.

Are you insinuating she was walking into the street on a freeway or something? Anywhere with a speed limit that would make it hard to see someone stepping in front of your car in time to stop, and you don't have say a stop sign or cross walk to give you an idea of paying attention, would be ridiculous for a pregnant person to step in front of out of nowhere. Given what is said in this post, it is highly likely he is at fault.

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u/Angryprincess38 6d ago

Exactly! If she ran out in front of him, he would've told his mom that to negate his guilt. This guy seems desperate to excuse this kid's behavior for some reason.

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u/XxMarlucaxX 6d ago

He really does im NGL. Any reasonable level of thinking can answer most of his "dilemma" about it. If it was something like he wants it to be, the OPs son likely would have had a very different reaction and mentioned in some way that he didn't know they were stepping into the road. Even in shock, that would typically be a thing brought up but the call sounds to be ages later given the overall cadence.

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u/ThoughtNecessary2385 6d ago

No but it would not be the first time someone crossed the road without looking Both ways

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u/XxMarlucaxX 6d ago edited 6d ago

And it also is not OPs sons first time being careless and reckless while driving. Why is one worth more weight than the other? Especially when one relies on statistics and the other is literally about his behavioral pattern as an individual?

ETA: And her not looking both ways before crossing wouldn't make it not his fault for hitting her. Again, the only place it would make sense for him to be reasonably going too fast to stop for an errant pedestrian would be a freeway or somewhere with a HIGH speed limit. He has to be going reasonably fast in order to cause enough damage to potentially cause a miscarriage. Without more info we don't know, but it is unlikely he was on a freeway or even a feeder road, or he likely would have said something about not seeing her to the OP.

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u/ThoughtNecessary2385 6d ago

Al true that why a said she needs to be dam sure he is guilty if she is willing to break that relationship

If he is guilty he needs to go to jail

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u/XxMarlucaxX 6d ago

She can only be "damn sure' if she conducts her own investigation. That is a TALL ask for a civilian with a short amount of time to make a decision. She has to go off gut instinct and behavioral patterns, otherwise she will be having to spend weeks on this to make a decision when she doesn't have that kind of time to spend.

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u/ThoughtNecessary2385 6d ago

Yes but if her gut is wrong she is Endangering her relationship with her son

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u/XxMarlucaxX 6d ago

Any selfless parent would want their child to grow even if it means sacrificing that. He needs to face the consequences and reality of his actions. If it makes him grow and she loses him, that sucks but at least now he isn't driving around literally endangering everyone around him. If she is right, he could come back after some personal growth. If he doesn't, then at least the growth happened. There is also an equal possibility that he doesn't learn and holds it against her and continues being this way in which case she is better off without him. Things aren't set in stone. But he doesn't deserve to get off scot free without any kind of fear about the realities about the way he drives.

Edit for misspelled word

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u/Fun-Frosting-5673 6d ago

You’re stupid

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u/ThoughtNecessary2385 6d ago

Why because I want to be sure before I leave someone to fend for them self