r/AITAH • u/ShowerElectrical9342 • 6d ago

aitah for considerinf leaving my son in the county jail hospital over the weekend instead of paying $9,500.00 in bail? Advice Needed

My son hit a pregnant woman with his vehicle and broke his nose and has stitches on his lip.

He was arrested and is in the county jail hospital. He wouldn't tell me how badly injured the woman is, except that she might lose the baby.

He's a careless, distracted driver who has totalled 2 cars, which his bio dad immediately replaced with even better cars!

But now his bio dad is gone (heart attack) and I don't want to enable this dangerous driving problem.

I'm overwhelmed.

He has had accidents before, and has always been bailed out.

I'm trying to get a regular lawyer because now he says she might lose the baby and sue him.

He's 19.

But no one wants me to take the time to get a regular lawyer instead of this public defender who insists I must send the bail money NOW or my son will be in jail all weekend.

Honestly, I don't know. Maybe that would be good for him. Like a wakeup call.

He didn't mention alcohol, but why else would he he arrested for a car accident?

Help! I have to move fast!

AITAH for even thinking about letting him spend a weekend in jail?

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14

u/XxMarlucaxX 6d ago

If it does, she is better off.

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u/ThoughtNecessary2385 6d ago

You may think that but can she live with it?

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u/XxMarlucaxX 6d ago

OP can consider that all she wants. Ultimately, she would be losing a child who lost his mind over being held accountable for his actions. Even if it was an accident, his history shows he needs some intervention and maybe he will grow and learn it was in his best interest. If he cuts her off over that, it might not even be permanent, depending on the way that he grows.

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u/ThoughtNecessary2385 6d ago

Yes but then she has no one to blame if he never let's her back in

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u/XxMarlucaxX 6d ago

Ok again and? Then she loses a child who never grew to realize that he was fucking up, which means he likely will keep doing shit like this, so no big loss. And if it makes him grow, any selfless parent would be glad that at least he improved even if he never decided to revisit his familial relationship.

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u/Predictable-Past-912 5d ago

Think for a moment, if he cuts her of for showing him a little tough love when he screws up, then he is an even bigger loser than if he took it in stride. So, it’s a cinch that this big loser will need her again before she needs him.

If mom gets too caught up in her “feelings” about what he might do, then she will not be the mother that he needs when he needs her the most.

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u/Angryprincess38 6d ago

If the lady's baby dies, can she live with that, knowing she enabled him?

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u/ThoughtNecessary2385 6d ago

If he is not alone at fault for it and he goes to jail without helping him can she live with that

3

u/Angryprincess38 6d ago

Like the sane people on this thread have pointed out, if there were mitigating details, her son would have told her. Instead he's vague with details, indicating he's 100% at fault.

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u/ThoughtNecessary2385 6d ago

Or he has a concussion and he is not 100% and forgot but you are right you are guilty til proven different right? at least in this sub

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u/Angryprincess38 6d ago

Yeah, keep telling yourself that cupcake. Wonder if you would feel differently if it were your dead baby. Probably not, eh?

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u/ThoughtNecessary2385 6d ago

Is she dead because I did not see that in th story?

Like I said if he is guilty he need to go to jail but are you 100% sure he is guilty other than being arrested

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u/Angryprincess38 5d ago

Ah, I see? Since the baby isn't dead yet, it's all good for you!

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u/ThoughtNecessary2385 5d ago

No did you not see what I wrote if he is guilty he need to go to jail

I'm just saying are you sure you know without a shadow of a doubt that he is guilty because you sure sound like it

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u/Angryprincess38 5d ago

Then again you said she, doubt you know the gender of this child so I can only assume you mean as long as the woman doesn't die (which we have no information about), you consider it a win. If she loses her baby, oh well, right? 🙄