r/facepalm 13d ago

Now wait a damn minute 🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​

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u/SwiftyPants3 13d ago

Ah man, I forgot that part. You can probably add some time if you assume she didn’t get pregnant the first time 🤢🤮

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u/MindForeverWandering 13d ago

She probably did. Because BiRtH cOnTrOl Is AbOrTiOn, don’cha know? /s

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u/Efficient_Fish2436 13d ago

Best 300$ I ever spent was on an abortion.

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u/iamthemosin 13d ago

Hey, that’s cheaper than I thought. Fuck condoms! /s

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u/_SteeringWheel 13d ago

Well, technically, you kind of do, normally.

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u/VibraniumRhino 13d ago

Ew, seriously? I use them for meal prepping.

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u/theashesstir 13d ago

What? in the kitchen!? JESUS CHRIST MAN, we masturbate in there!

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u/iamthemosin 13d ago

They’re great for measuring! An unlubricated Trojan can hold exactly 1.5 liters!

……………..of………liquids………..for cooking……..

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u/VibraniumRhino 13d ago

I still remember every fall as a child, my grandmother would use them to make pickles.

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u/ShasasTheRed 13d ago

Freeze your sperms and get a vasectomy...or just get a vasectomy

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u/bubloseven 13d ago

Was this a long time ago or is Groupon expanding?

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u/Efficient_Fish2436 13d ago

Idaho. 2012. We both wanted it done. They took her in the back and continually asked her if I was making her do this she told me. She shouted at them after like the tenth time it was her fucking decision not his.

Man I loved this woman and miss her deeply. Love of my life.

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u/hwc000000 12d ago

Man I loved this woman and miss her deeply.

Did she go in for an abortion, or euthanasia?

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u/TheGutter420 13d ago

The last time I only spent $300 on an abortion was last century, most recent was over $700 in like 2005. Where you get this discount at?!

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u/Efficient_Fish2436 13d ago

Idaho. 2012.

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u/TheGutter420 13d ago

I'm moving to Idaho.

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u/thevogonity 13d ago

Idahoes probably have to drive to Washington to get abortions now. I thought I read they were experiencing a mass exodus of OBGYNs because of the radical right wing laws going into effect.

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u/Equal-Prior-4765 13d ago

Idahoes 🤣🤣🤣

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u/TheGutter420 13d ago

Well, it is a scenic drive.

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u/VibraniumRhino 13d ago

Got some plans you need cancelling? Lol

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u/TheGutter420 13d ago

Just thinking ahead.

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u/VibraniumRhino 13d ago

Head would solve most of these problems, so, that’s good thinking.

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u/TheGutter420 13d ago

Head is so 1996. Unmitigated creampies are what the discerning palate craves.

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u/understepped 13d ago

Abort responsibly. Abortion addiction is no joke. Some people go as far as moving to another state for a sole reason of getting cheaper abortions.

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u/TheGutter420 13d ago

I'm good, only paid for like 14 in 10 years, & only 7 were of my own doing.

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u/understepped 13d ago

Ok, that’s pretty normal tbh, but please keep it down at this level in the future. I’ve heard stories where people go completely off the rails and do 14 in 14 weeks, and I’m not sure that’s good for your health.

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u/TheGutter420 13d ago

Once a week is a bit much, considering it's nearly impossible to even know if you're pregnant in 7 days.

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u/LizzieThatGirl 13d ago

Where did you hear these stories? That math isn't mathing.

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u/Dickieman5000 13d ago

If you know where to look, you can find financial assistance in obtaining an abortion.

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u/TheGutter420 13d ago

True, I'd rather leave those types of assistance to those who truly need it. I'm just looking to get the most bang for my buck.

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u/hypnoskills 13d ago

Or spend the least buck on your bang.

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u/TheGutter420 13d ago

It usually takes a few bangs.

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u/obsidianbull702 13d ago

And a lot of bucking...

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u/TheGutter420 13d ago

I mean, if you're doing it right.

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u/r0d3nka 13d ago

Coulda pushed her down a flight of stairs for free /s

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u/Micah7979 13d ago

Isn't that like free if prescribed by a doctor ?

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u/BookkeeperSelect2091 13d ago

You got scammed. I charge only half of that for pushing you down the stairs

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u/IkaKyo 13d ago

If you want to get technical even with perfect ovulation timing it’s only a like 50/50 chance of getting her pregnant any given time you ejaculate into a minor, that’s why it’s important for to stick to it. /S on the last part.

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u/Sweet-Baby-Cakes2000 13d ago

No birth control prevents pregnancy from happening and abortion stops an existing pregnancy.

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u/MindForeverWandering 12d ago

It’s the conviction of “pro-life” conservatives that oral contraceptives prevent pregnancy by preventing a fertilized egg from implanting (which is true in some percentage of cases), and thus by “aborting unborn children.” The same is also true for IUDs and Plan B.

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u/Sweet-Baby-Cakes2000 12d ago

Birth control helped me have periods bcuz I would skip months.

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u/MindForeverWandering 12d ago

There are lots of medical applications for oral contraceptives other than preventing pregnancy – but, of course, that doesn’t matter to the Talibornagain.

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u/ContemporaryAmerican 11d ago

Who says birth control is abortion? Abortifacients are; condoms are not.

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u/Mr_Rum_Ham 13d ago

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u/Sea_Combination571 13d ago

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u/AbductedByAliens8 13d ago

One of my favorite scenes. Yeeeaaahhh, I'm a sick bitch 😂🤣

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u/Cartman4wesome 13d ago

Or 14, if the kid is about to turn 5 and she just barely turned 20.

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u/AilanMoone 10d ago

Wouldn't that still be the same amount of time for the pregnancy?

If she gets pregnant the fifth time they try, she would still be around 15 and carry 9 months.

If anything, that makes it worse cuz who's to say they haven't been trying for some time before she even got that old?

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u/SwiftyPants3 10d ago

Yeah, I’m just saying it gets creepier when you realize how young she was when this whole thing probably started. Not that it wasn’t bad enough to begin with

Edit: Sorry, I didn’t read your whole comment, yes you’re right

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u/AilanMoone 10d ago

Ahhh. I thought you meant add time to her age so it's not as bad. You meant add time to the relationship to make it worse.

Thank you.

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u/ChrisPynerr 13d ago

Swiftypants was also homeschooled apparently