r/aww • u/abhitchc • 5d ago

I fed this female box tortoise some raspberries at the beginning of the summer. Now, she follows me all over the garden, and visits me almost daily looking for handouts.

Post image
94.0k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

1.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

198

u/bay_lamb 5d ago

i was wondering if anything ate those things!!! had piles of dead june bugs on my deck for a month.

276

u/Ouisch 5d ago

Tangential story: Years ago my Mom and I were standing in line at the local Arby's waiting to order (drive-thru not a thing yet). I remember I was wearing a blue windbreaker and suddenly I heard this weird buzzing/flapping noise. I looked up and down and around and then saw a huge June bug attached to my sleeve. I screeched in panic and jumped and flapped my arm, and (I'm not making this up) the man standing behind me raised his hands and announced loudly "I didn't touch her!!"

198

u/Frondswithbenefits 5d ago

When I was little, around 3-4, I had an imaginary alligator friend. My mom took me to my dad's office so we could go to lunch. We get in the elevator, and a man gets in on another floor. After the guy stepped on, I screamed, "You fool, you stepped on Clarence!"

48

u/Equivalent_Mechanic5 5d ago

This made me cry laughing. Are we best friends?

39

u/Frondswithbenefits 5d ago

I was a weird little kid, lol. Of course we're friends!

15

u/Equivalent_Mechanic5 5d ago

Hi new friend! Clarence is a great name

3

u/karmagirl314 5d ago

This guy’s a gangster? His real name’s Clarence.

10

u/SweetBearCub 5d ago

This made me cry laughing. Are we best friends?

That depends, did you bring treats for Clarence?

7

u/Equivalent_Mechanic5 5d ago

Always. Still have some in my pocket just in case.

6

u/truecreature 5d ago

How did the man react? Was he ashamed of what he did to Clarence?

10

u/Frondswithbenefits 5d ago

He jumped and mildly injured himself by kinda falling towards the doors. Nothing serious, though. When it was explained to him, he apologized. I hope that guy had a good life.

4

u/FairBaker315 5d ago

OMG, I have a similar story. I was about the same age when I had an imaginary dog that looked like Lassie. One day we went to the grocery store and when my mom shut the car door, I screamed at the top of my lungs "You shut my dogs tail in the door!" and started hysterically crying. My mom actually had to open the car door to free my dog before I'd calm down.

Greetings from another crazy/weird little kid!

4

u/Ok-Breath-197 5d ago

My grandma snuck a baby alligator home to Indiana from Florida when she was a pre-teen in the early 50s. She kept him in the bathtub & called him Clarence 😂 somehow, she doesn't remember what happened to him.

3

u/wishful_dreamin 5d ago

💀💀💀

2

u/Seaboats 5d ago

This reminded me of one of my favorite clips from my favorite 90’s-early 2000s show, Airline.

As an April fools prank they had a passenger do something along those lines and, well, it’s absolutely hilarious

He’s such a good actor that even though I went in knowing it was a joke, he’s so convincing and committed to the act I actually started to wonder if he was serious 😂

17

u/bay_lamb 5d ago

hahahahaaa! oh man those things are hell to unhook from your clothes. that poor guy lol.

15

u/Legen_unfiltered 5d ago

That poor man

2

u/wishful_dreamin 5d ago

😂😂😂💀

1

u/BoDurthaPlants 5d ago

I enjoyed this. Thank you.

1

u/KimJeongsDick 5d ago

That man has been through some shit or learned some hard lessons.

17

u/jsting 5d ago

Dogs will. Then throw up from eating too many. They are kinda like cicadas, their goal in life is to be food for other creatures.

4

u/yougofish 5d ago

My wiener dog ate her own body weight in cicadas during the last brood cycle.
We’d go on a walk and every couple of steps she was chomping on another one. It was awesome except for hearing the wings still beating in her mouth.

1

u/neocarleen 5d ago

That sounds like a poor evolutionary choice

5

u/etxconnex 5d ago

Have you ever seen them try to fly? It's amazing they can reproduce at all. June bugs have to be the stupidest fucking creatures on the planet.

6

u/CoffeeCaptain91 5d ago

I used to be a reenactor and I was camping during an event once and one kept flying around the lamp. One of the guys was drinking beer, and the bug must've flown in when we weren't paying attention, because on his next swallow we all heard a crunch.

He just made a face, "I found our June bug" and carried along. Of course he couldn't have done much at that point, eh? It was done.

3

u/Obvious-Web8288 5d ago

Yup, might as well just take another swig of beer and swallow it down....😊

3

u/RetroScores 5d ago

I used to feed them to our monitor lizards. I haven’t seen a June bug in like 15 years or more.

2

u/MightyCaseyStruckOut 5d ago

Where I live, we used to have a TON of June bugs, usually in late May. I noticed just before the pandemic that there were fewer than years' past. The past two years we haven't had any. Same thing happened with fireflies around here, only 25 years later.

2

u/notathr0waway1 5d ago

I've seen owl pellets made almost entirely of June bug carapaces and stuff.

2

u/stylepointseso 5d ago

Toads.

We get toad turds full of june bug shells all summer from toads hanging out under lights eating the june bugs all night.

1

u/AnotherCuppaTea 5d ago

Wait'll this summer's cicadas emerge...

2

u/bay_lamb 5d ago

is this a 17 year thing or every year? because i don't remember seeing them. and are they everywhere or just some areas?

2

u/AnotherCuppaTea 4d ago

Both; some cicadas will emerge in any year, but there are also special "broods" of long-hibernating ones (13, 17, and maybe some shorter lengths). What's striking about 2024 is that it's the first time in well over two centuries that two large 13- and 17-year broods are both emerging in the same overlapping territory, the midwest & old northwest/"Rust Belt" -- which should see over a TRILLION of them this summer.

1

u/ForeverStrangeMoe 5d ago

Chickens! People freeze them and use them as ice cubes for chicken water dishes

1

u/psppsppsppspinfinty 5d ago

I had one dive bomb me in my bed and now I'm forever creeped out by them. Dead or alive.

1

u/LittleTinGod 5d ago

June Bugs, man we use to have alot of those, where'd they all go. Thanks Obama!

1

u/ezelllohar 5d ago

chickens tend to go absolutely crazy for them lol. i'd be willing to bet any birds that can fit them in their mouth love them