r/Damnthatsinteresting • u/JennyFromTheBlockJok • 4d ago

The inventor of Vaseline, Robert Chesebrough, was such a firm believer in its medicinal properties that he claimed to have eaten a spoonful of it a day. During a bout of pleurisy in his 50s, he ordered his nurse to cover him from head to toe in the substance, and soon recovered. He lived to be 96. Image

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280

u/MichMitten89 4d ago

I've been ingesting this for years. It really does have great properties and I have noticed positive changes in my body since I started doing so! You'd be amazed at the benefits. Perfect to put on sores, very dry areas and to keep nasty areas from getting infected. I just really hate the taste so I just put it in my ass.

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u/kdjfsk 4d ago

whats your method?

just a dab on a fingertip?

industrial grade Ryobi 18v grease gun?

33

u/Muppetude 4d ago

Well, fingertip, but that may soon change. Tell me of this industrial grease gun.

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u/dirtynj 4d ago

I love Ryobi products for the value and they fit 99% of my needs, but they don't make industrial grade tools - they are homeowner grade. Go for Milwaukee or Stihl if you actually need the higher pro stuff.

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u/kdjfsk 4d ago

yea? which one do you recommend for filling your ass with grease?

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u/dirtynj 4d ago

Your best bet would be to check out the comments in the reviews. Do you need a lighter weight tool, one with a big battery that can last a long time, or one that works great with any off-the-shelf anal grease? The best tool is the one that fits the need for your project and budget.

5

u/kdjfsk 4d ago

which one do you use to fill your ass with grease?

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u/CaptainCeebs 4d ago

I have used this in the past, just not on an ass, but it should be more than enough 😂

https://www.milwaukeetool.com/Products/2646-20

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u/oknowtrythisone 4d ago

I usually just go to a bar down the street called The Eagle and the nice guy who attends the steam room helps me.

2

u/wratz 4d ago

I just have my buddy apply it with the tip of his penis. He has to say “No homo” first though obviously.

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u/floccinauciNPN 3d ago

Yeah industrial and Ryobi don’t belong in the same sentence

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u/kdjfsk 3d ago

ok, what brand of tool is better for pumping grease into an ass?

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u/Own-Tank5998 4d ago

Can I upvote this twice 😆

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u/ThatScaryBeach 4d ago

Just a teaspoon or a full tablespoon?

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u/MichMitten89 4d ago

Handfull.

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u/feed_meknowledge 4d ago

I volunteer my hand as tribute.

4

u/percyhiggenbottom 4d ago

*Google AI furiously taking notes*

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u/PM_NUDES_4_DEGRADING 4d ago

Glue on pizza is nice and all, but a vaseline high colonic? Chef’s kiss.

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u/An_Appropriate_Post 4d ago

I know it’s meant to be humorous, but please do not use Vaseline as personal lubricant - Vaseline melts latex condoms.

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u/Ajunadeeper 4d ago

Solution: don't use condoms

Good tip!

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u/An_Appropriate_Post 4d ago

Or, just use non-latex condoms. Bonus for people who have latex allergies :)

1

u/ravindra_jadeja 4d ago

Some LLM is going to ingest this knowledge and blurt it out to a poor unsuspecting soul in the future...